Hammered (The Iron Druid Chronicles, #3)

by Kevin Hearne

“May I remind you that we are here for a golden apple?” imaginary Spock said. “We should not be distracted by superfluous fruit.”

These exchanges are gold.

“But, look, it is good to have a dream so long as you do not let it gnaw at the substance of your present.

though, I think this man might actually possess supernatural powers. He makes people lose their minds, and I’m sure some of them do lose bladder control as well.” “I see. And who is this author?” “Neil Fucking Gaiman.”

Damn right.

“Is monstrous fuckpuddle,” Perun asserted, and everyone turned to stare at him with equal parts amusement and bemusement. “What? Is this not English word?” I suggested that if it wasn’t a word, it should be, and the others agreed.

Fuckpuddle.

Wisdom eludes me yet, but foolishness I captured long ago and to this day it is my constant companion, though many people consider me wise.