From the Bookshelf of New Bizarro Author Series 2011-2012

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Eric Hendrixson
Oct 18, 2012 rated it really liked it
“No,” he says. “You will not rape this woman. I love her. You...rape too much. You shouldn't do that—It's not nice.”

This is said by Wilmorn, the man-sized left nipple of a dead Caribbean shaman when he stands up to his chain-smoking, serial rapist animal familiar, Stalin. Stalin is not The Stalin. He's just a baby-faced lobster serving the seagull gods and guiding the nipple on this mission through New York City. See, Wilmorn made a pact with the seagull gods. He has seven days to make the lesbi
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Spike Marlowe
Nov 10, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Seven Seagulls for a Single Nipple by Troy Chambers is sixty-two pages of pure wild, insane yum.

One day, whilst tagging along on the chest of Badagris, the voodoo bad-ass priest and lead singer of the Haitian metal/europop group The Moshing Erzulies, Wilmorn the nipple catches sight of Sister Patina Beaver, nun in the Church of the Holy Menstrual Blood.

Wilmorn immediately falls in love with Patina. Determined to be her mate, Wilmorn makes a deal with the Seven Seagull Gods, who grant Wilmorn a n
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Gabriel
Jul 08, 2012 rated it liked it
A short story that was broadened into a novella featuring jokes about lesbians, rape, gods, Jesus and New York in general. This is Bizarro in the wackier, gorier, more Troma Film style than I usually like.

But in the end, I appreciated the finale and the logic that ran this very scary world. Dark, dark, dark. Yes, there is laughter, but you look around to make sure nobody saw you laugh and if they did that they can't read what you just read. So, yeah, that's cool. Boundary pushing can be fun and
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Jessica
Aug 03, 2012 rated it really liked it
Soooooooo a talking nipple falls in love with a nun and makes a deal with the seagull gods. No not the opening lines of a joke just the premise of the most wacky bizarro book. Which is saying something as I have read some interesting books about giant worms that tear apart Arizona, a talking fly or eyeballs that fall in love with each other and run away from the head they inhabit.

Part of that nuttyness is what makes me love bizarro I feel so amazingly sane not to mention the head shaking at the
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Dustin Reade
Nov 08, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: bizarros
Do you like voodoo? Eh? I do. Do what? Enjoy this book immensely!

Troy Chambers' short, hilarious novella about a love-struck sentient nipple searching the streets of New York for the Lesbian-Nun Love of his life was one of the funnest books I have read in a long time.

The Nipple (named "Wilmorn") is accompanied on his quest by a baby-faced lobster creature with a foul mouth, a nicotine addiction, and an unusual habit (which I won't get into here, but was struck by the "Johnny-The-Homicidal-Maniac
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Justin Grimbol
Nov 22, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Donald Armfield
Nov 15, 2011 marked it as to-read
Garrett Cook
Dec 31, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Steve Lowe
Nov 08, 2011 marked it as to-read