Bernard; Diary of a 46-yr-old Bellhop in Q&A with S.L. Danielson

Jul 03, 2011 Elisa Rolle added it · review of another edition

At the beginning I thought Bernard was a bit too romantic and pink glasses perspective story, but that was all right, it was a romance. Then it took a turn that brought it on a more realistic track, and again, that was more than all right, since it bittered the plot that was, maybe, a little too sugary.

Bernard is an overweight, virgin, gay and 46 years old bellhop without prospective in life. Since he is also without any self-esteem, he is also easily depressed, and at a minimal sign of rejecti At the beginning I thought Bernard was a bit too romantic and pink glasses perspective story, but that was all right, it was a romance. Then it took a turn that brought it on a more realistic track, and again, that was more than all right, since it bittered the plot that was, maybe, a little too sugary.

Bernard is an overweight, virgin, gay and 46 years old bellhop without prospective in life. Since he is also without any self-esteem, he is also easily depressed, and at a minimal sign of rejection he answers with suicide. It’s the 4th time and this time he was really near to succeed it. At the hospital he meets his doctor, Jack, 10 years younger, handsome, gay and single. And interested in Bernard. That is good, isn’t it? Romantic and sweet, how wonderful Jack is, a man who can have everyone and instead pick up Bernard.

The 40 pounds making Bernard an obese soon are gone, and a good psychiatric helps Bernard to regain his self-esteem (big obstacle this one since Bernard is really without any of it, sometime I wanted to shake him and tell him, go on, you cannot really think like that, you don’t have any backbone, but really, that was probably the best characterization for Bernard, otherwise there was not chance he could have attempted suicide 4 times, and for quite “stupid” reasons). Bernard is another man and Jack asks him to move in… that is, Bernard IS another man, someone Jack helped to shape, someone that maybe is a little more similar to his dead partner.

That is the catch, Jack is not exactly perfect as it seems, he is still mourning the death of his partner, he is alcoholic and can be really cruel. Not exactly the right companion for someone like Bernard, but at least in this way he can be on a same level with Bernard. If he was really perfect, if he was the handsome and kind doctor he at first appeared, I had the feeling their relationship would have not last, since, once Bernard was right, Jack would have moved on his next pity case. Maybe he didn’t realize it, but he came out like a good Samaritan, someone who wanted to right things for a man, and then moving on another man and so on. Being Jack not perfect allows him to be someone that actually can be a long-term companion for Bernard, not just a passing miracle.

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Dec 29, 2010 Julie Hayes rated it really liked it

Bernard Covington is at the end of his rope in more ways than one. At the age of 46, he is unlovely, overweight, stuck in a dead end job as a bellhop at a hotel – and on top of all of that he’s a virgin who hasn’t got the balls to admit that he’s gay! What’s life got to offer him? Not a whole lot, so he’s opting out! Suicide attempt #4 – coming up!

Bernard utilizes both a large butcher knife and a bottle of pills this time, to “get ‘er done”, but instead he finds himself inside the ER of the loca Bernard Covington is at the end of his rope in more ways than one. At the age of 46, he is unlovely, overweight, stuck in a dead end job as a bellhop at a hotel – and on top of all of that he’s a virgin who hasn’t got the balls to admit that he’s gay! What’s life got to offer him? Not a whole lot, so he’s opting out! Suicide attempt #4 – coming up!

Bernard utilizes both a large butcher knife and a bottle of pills this time, to “get ‘er done”, but instead he finds himself inside the ER of the local hospital, and the doctor who is on call on that particular night is gorgeous, while his nurse is incredibly kind to Bernard. Too bad he thinks he’s too much of a loser to deserve any sort of attention from anyone. And he feels it’s only a matter of time until he tries it again.

Doctor Jack and Nurse Nancy are determined to help Bernard, whether he wants it or not. They call in his mother, who is naturally concerned about him. They set him up with a therapist, Dr. Rasmus, whom Bernard finds he gets along with, surprisingly, and he discovers that he can talk to him about different things. When the time comes for his release, not only does Doctor Jack drive Bernard home, but he offers to spend some time with him, having taken the afternoon off in order to do so! Bernard is beyond speechless, he can’t believe that this beautiful man actually wants to be his friend. The more time he spends with Jack, the more he knows that he feels things for the doctor that he feels compelled to conceal, lest he ruin their growing friendship. Looking like he does, and being some ten years older than Jack, how can he possibly think that Jack would be interested in a loser like him, even if Jack were gay?

With the support of his doctor/friend, Bernard tries to put his life back together and make some much needed changes in himself. He and Jack only grow closer as time goes on. Bernard is becoming stronger, in some ways, but in others, he’s still the insecure overweight guy he always was, who is prone to tears and depression. When financial woes threaten to overwhelm him, Jack steps in and suggests that Bernard move in with him! Bernard decides to confess everything, and he finds that Jack has a story of his own to tell. When the scales tip in the other direction, and their relationship becomes unbalanced, can they put it back on an even keel?

You can read my complete review at Yaoi Radius! ...more

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Nov 10, 2010 S.L. added it · (Review from the author) · review of another edition

Shelves: i-wrote-it

This is from Amos Lassen:

Secrets

Amos Lassen

I want to give a quick nod to S.L. Danielson's new story, "Bernard; Diary of a 46-yr-old Bellhop" because it is such a good and well-written story and is on my "to review" list. Because I am so far behind, I just want to acknowledge Danielson's story and will eventually give it a full review. Bernard Covington is a nerd and he knows it. He feels like getting out of the world all together because he knows he will never be able to fulfill his sexual and r ...more

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