Paula’s Comments (group member since Jun 18, 2025)

Paula’s comments from the Reading the Chunksters group.

Isn't it sad that Philip is too young to fully appreciate the fact that he is dearly loved by his aunt, who really opens her heart (and purse) to him. Of course, to someone his age, his aunt and uncle are old fossils who, he feels, Life is ready to toss into the dustbin.

Sarah wrote: "I'm being she's been doing this for a long time and Philip is the only one who took the bait."

I was thinking along those lines. She would need someone gullible enough to swallow all that baloney she was dishing out. And she would want someone to whom she could feel more worldly and superior. Because, well, she has a fragile sense of self too.

Oh, Philip. No sooner does he extract himself from the superficial, romantically flashy Hayward, he comes home only to encounter yet another flashy object to flit around. Has he learned nothing from his experiences with Rose and Hayward? Has he grown in discernment? Apparently not.

This section of the reading was fascinating to me. It poses, and answers, the following question:

What happens when two "Rehearsal/Fantasy Identities" meet?

In these chapters, Maugham gives us an incredibly layered and complex answer.

In one corner, we have Philip. To this point Philip hasn’t actually done much lying about his background or situation. That's not how his fantasy has worked. What he does is he has this idealized vision of the kind of person he would like to be (or what he thinks others would like him to be) and he works very hard to work toward becoming that person. The effort is almost palpable. He has this playbook in his head about what a normal, self-confident, "regular guy" would do, or say, or experience at this time of his life and he tries to emulate that. Because…Philip doesn't think of himself as normal. He has little to no self-worth. Since boyhood, he has been constantly seeking a way into that normal, regular life.

He always feels like he is on the outside looking in. So he runs his playbook, step by step, thinking that this will somehow gain him entry into the real world he so desperately seeks. Because he doesn’t think he can ever be a part of that world just by being himself. For, how can an abnormal person ever be a part of the normal world without being ridiculed or dismissed? Philp is horrified by the very idea.

So, he has to somehow build a normal Philip. To Philip, a regular (popular) guy his age would have already had some intrigues, flirtations, sexual encounters. I found it striking that nowhere was there any indication of any kind of romantic feeling, authentic passion, or desire on Philip's part. His approach was very clinical, very goal oriented, almost robotic. Miss Wilkinson is simply the means to achieving his goal.

Because really, what do we see here? Philip isn't attracted to Miss Wilkinson at all! Maugham subtly weaves in all the cues that tell us this. Philip is in a constant state of denial – he deliberately avoids looking at her in a certain light. He tries to blind himself to the cheapness and flashiness of her dress and mannerisms. He doesn't look at her ankles. He works to stitch and quilt together a better version of her, and he is constantly dropping those little pieces of fantasy and seeing into the reality. He constantly tries to talk himself into being in love with her and fails over and over. But he keeps diligently stitching away. He is in love with the "idea" of being in love or experiencing true passion, but he never attains it with Miss Wilkinson.

Maugham builds upon this, applying layer after layer, all very subtle and delicate, touching upon it here and there. We see into Philip's thoughts - how he encounters the multiple reminders of the reality (that he doesn't find her at all attractive). We see his mind and his eyes bump up against the reality time and time again - and then immediately flit away. Again, all very fleeting and subtle until the final, sordid culmination, when he enters her room, is disgusted by what he sees, but says to himself it is too late to back out. The result? He has sex with a woman who disgusts and revolts him. That is the degree to which his desire to be a normal young man has taken him. That he would rather do these things than to just be himself. The truly horrifying thing is: if Philip continues to behave in this way, will he lose who he really is and become this fake, unfeeling, empty person who cannot exist without the desired opinions of others?

To me, the following extract really hones in on the calculating nature Philip is beginning to develop.

“He led her to the kitchen garden where no one was likely to come…He kissed her passionately. It was one of the things that puzzled him that he did not like her at all in the morning, and only moderately in the afternoon, but at night the touch of her hand thrilled him. He said things that he would never have thought himself capable of saying; he could certainly never have said them in the broad light of day; and he listened to himself with wonder and satisfaction. ‘How beautifully you make love’, she said. That is what he thought himself. ..It was splendid. It was the most thrilling game he had ever played; and the wonderful thing was that he felt almost all he said. It was only that he exaggerated a little. He was tremendously interested and excited in the effect he could see it had on her.”

“He listened to himself with satisfaction.” “It was the most thrilling game he had ever played.” “He was tremendously interested and excited in the effect he could see it had on her.”

So clinical, unfeeling and disturbing! Is there any sign of emotional involvement? Does Philip perceive and experience Miss Wilkinson as a person? No. She has become an object. Like some guinea pig in a science experiment.

Now, in the other corner, we have Miss Wilkinson. North of 30 and south of 50 (love that!). She dons her rehearsal/fantasy identity even before she meets Philip. She has her flashy clothes and has assumed a girlish, coquettish demeanor. She even has a flower ready to give to him (she probably spent time peeking at him while he was reunited with his aunt and uncle and liked what she saw). She knows she is going to meet a young man and she has dressed and assumed the role of a young, merry girl with exciting travels and experiences to share. She has decided that she is going to have a romance with this young man and she is primed and ready. And talk about embroidering the truth! There is very little truth peeking through with Miss Wilkinson. She hides the reality of her life and history as desperately as she tries to hide her age.
We get the idea she has been embroidering her personal truth for many years because, here, so deeply immersed in her fantasy identity, she continues to do so even though Aunt Louisa, who has known her since girlhood, can burst those frothy little lies at any time.

She is just as calculating as Philip. Their fantasy identities posture and dance around each other and they both have the same ultimate goal – almost.

The difference being that Philip is really only interested in a one-time experience - because he isn’t attracted to Miss Wilkinson either emotionally or physically. He flirts with two other girls and enjoys it immensely. He even avoids being alone with Miss Wilkinson. He’s done with her. She has almost fulfilled her purpose. She has one more: she will be the subject of a highly romanticized letter (containing many falsities) to Hayward.

On the other hand, I think Miss Wilkinson is thinking more long term. Her fantasy involves a lot of romance…lovely letters full of longing. Future trysts to look forward to. And who knows…maybe a commitment of more? Anything to relieve her dissatisfaction with what she perceives as the humdrum existence of her life. She probably has dreamt of this kind of romance for many years. She has watched herself age and still that dream has eluded her. So, her dream evolves into an obsession with Philip, complete with tears and tantrums. Which makes her even more unattractive in Philip’s eyes.

I’ve rattled on about these two long enough and there’s more to come in this section. Sorry for the length of this post, but I’m deeply struck by this novel.

I've got my own ideas about Miss Wilkinson :)

Lots to talk about here and I was actually making notes last night because I was so struck by how this portrait of Philip is coming together and by some interesting threads uniting many of Philip's intense relationships. But, my daughter just got home from Florida and I've been distracted. Back tomorrow to really dig in and discuss!

Everyman@25: "Well, yes, but he could easily have chosen Weeks. I think there's an additional element here...".

I agree with everything you said here. Building off this thread, we see a commonality between Rose and Hayward. Both are physically attractive and dashing, with a rather charismatic ease and confidence about them. To someone with very little self-esteem, it would feel like an honor to be chosen by a person like that. Because, you could almost feel like, just to be chosen would make you one of them. Your idea of what is ideal.

The problem is that, as the old saying goes, "all that glitters is not gold". Sooner or later, someone or something is going to rub that shiny polish off your golden idol and then you have to make a choice. Do you keep that relationship, flaws and all, with eyes wide open and a good perspective in place? Do you shed it, perhaps thinking such a relationship isn't all that good for you? Or do you intentionally blind yourself to the reality, even to the point of resenting anyone who may rub off that shiny exterior, revealing the rather cheap metal underneath?

This last choice is one Philip makes while in the glow of his quasi infatuation with Hayward. He resents Weeks' delicately rubbing off all of Hayward's fake gold, to the point that Philip defends Hayward even when Hayward is obviously wrong. In fact, Hayward's ignorance bothers Philip a whole lot more than it bothers Hayward.

Hayward's lifetime of skillful denial, combined with his lack of true introspection, combined with that very important 300 pounds a year, are tools which will probably keep him comfortably afloat and relatively happy for years to come. Not having to work for a living keeps many a bubble from bursting. :)

You have to worry though...will Philip continue to be blindly attracted to the shiny like a moth to the flame? Or, is this something he will grow out of as he matures and, hopefully, develops a sense of self that comes from within (rather than from someone else)?

I worry about this shy young man.

Janice, I was going to say much the same thing about Philip's chameleon-like tendencies to mirror those around him, but you said it so well. I love what you call them: rehearsal identities. Perfect.

I don't find Philip all that likable, but he is at an annoying age and really, just very vulnerable and very human.

Everyman wrote: "Paula wrote: "But first, I wanted to backtrack. This is the first Maugham I have read and I can't believe I have missed out on this wonderful writer for so many decades. "

Definitely look into his..."

Coincidentally, I ordered the full collection of his short stories a couple of days ago. Thank you for introducing me to this marvelous author. What an experience this is!

Sarah wrote:

"As for his sudden atheism, I think he feels afraid because it's been such a huge component of his life and then it's suddenly gone. That would be dizzying at the very least."

Agreed. And how poignant it was when he was filled with sadness that, if there was no God, it meant he would never see his beautiful Mother again. So, even though he felt a release and relief from the burden of his former religious beliefs, he, at the very same time, realized the different burden and weight his disbelief was now placing on him.

Exchanging one set of burdens for another. One gives up the stress of belief, but in losing the belief, the comfort of the belief is lost as well.

Teanka wrote: "To me Rose's reactions didn't seem odd at all. He is a superficial boy who loves being in the centre of attention surrounded by friends but in fact doesn't think a lot about others. Initially he mu..."

I agree. Rose seems like one of those fairly typical, thoughtless youths for whom everything seems to come so easily. They are so popular, everyone wants to be around them and they don't really have to do much of anything to make that happen. I've never understood how they manage it.

Drat them! :) :)

Philip on the other hand, because he has no one who loves him, and who he can really love in return, has all this pent up emotion and need - and it spills out at the slightest kindness from a peer. To me, his emotions toward Rose quickly evolve into an intense, teenage crush. As a result, I can see why Rose would forget all about meeting at the train station, whereas Philip would fixate on it and count the days until he could see Rose again.

Yes, it's exasperating that Philip couldn't come right out and confront Rose, but again, to me, it was very reminiscent of those teenage non-speaking interactions where one person wants the other person to just know (without being told) what the problem is - and the other person is completely clueless. Which makes the hurt person every more hurt and upset. And so forth and so on.

Ok, I can't resist one of my favorite Hayward/Weeks discussions:

"I might have known it. Of course you read Greek like a schoolmaster," he [Hayward] said. "I read it like a poet."

"And do you find it more poetic when you don't quite know what it means? I thought it was only in revealed religion that a mistranslation improved the sense."

I have laughed out loud everytime I've read this, including while I'm typing right now. :)

These splendidly drawn characters - here are some of my favorite snippets:

"He [Wharton] leaned back cautiously, for the chair on which he sat had a rickety leg, and it was disconcerting when a rhetorical flourish was interrupted by a sudden fall to the floor."

And what about the accidental declaration of love made by Philip as he gazes at the stars overhead, but which Fraulein Hedwig (who has a keen sense of her own beauty and attractiveness to the opposite sex)completely misinterprets as a declaration of love to herself?

So priceless!

And Professor Erlin's pronouncements on the music and plays of his day. He is scandalized by a new play and makes the following, impassioned pronouncement: ""I would sooner my daughters were lying dead at my feet than see them listening to the garbage of that shameless fellow."" The play was The Doll's House and the author was Henrik Ibsen."

Or this pronouncement regarding Richard Wagner, composer of "The Ring Cycle", one of the greatest, most beautiful and most powerful set of operas the world has ever experienced: "I tell you young people that before the nineteenth century is out, Wagner will be as dead as mutton. Wagner! I would give all his works for one opera by Donizetti."

Now, I enjoy Donizetti and have actually performed a couple of his roles, but they are light, comedic fare with none of the majesty of The Ring.

This one really moved me. Philip is curious and rather fascinated by his French teacher, Monsieur Ducroz, a reserved,courteous man who refuses to share anything of his personal circumstances or history. But Philip has gathered enough secondhand information that tells him Ducroz had a turbulent, tumultuous youth. None of which is apparent in the calm, quiet man Philip sees before him. One day Ducroz appears for a lesson, obviously extremely ill. Philip, in his shy, embarassed way, pays Ducroz for the entire next week and says to come back when he is better. In a few brief, very moving paragraphs, Maugham perfectly captures this mysterious man:

"Monsieur Ducroz appeared again five or six days later. He tottered a little more and was very weak, but seemed to have overcome the severity of the attack. He was no more commuicative than he had been before. He remained mysterious, aloof, and dirty. He made no reference to his illness till after the lesson: and then, just as he was leaving, at the door, which he held open, he paused. He hesitated, as though to speak were difficult. "If it hadn't been for the money you gave me I should have starved. It was all I had to live on." He made his solemn, obsequious bow, and went out. Philip felt a little lump in his throat. He seemed to realize in a fashion the hopeless bitterness of the old man's struggle...".

And as for the conversations between Hayward and Weeks, I could rhapsodize for pages over how delicious they are! I have read them several times now and each time is fresh and fun.

I thought this was a lovely example of Maugham's ability to capture a moment in time:

"They walked along the side of a hill among pine trees, and their pleasant odour caused Philip a keen delight. The day was warm and cloudless. At last they came to an eminence from which they saw the valley of the Rhine spread out before them under the sun. It was a vast stretch of country, sparkling with golden light, with cities in the distance; and through it meandered the silver ribband of the river. Wide spaces are rare in the corner of Kent which Philip knew, the sea offers the only broad horizon, and the immense distance he saw now gave him a peculiar, an indescribable thrill. He felt suddenly elated. Though he did not know it, it was the first time that he had experienced, quite undiluted with foreign emotions, the sense of beauty. They sat on a bench, the three of them, for the others had gone on, and while the girls talked in rapid German, Philip, indifferent to their promimity, feasted his eyes."

This week's reading was so rich for me. I find that, with this book, I would love the opportunity to sit with you guys and talk and talk about it. There's so much to say and typing (no matter how fast) just isn't the same.

But first, I wanted to backtrack. This is the first Maugham I have read and I can't believe I have missed out on this wonderful writer for so many decades. Over the years, OHB has been off and on in my TBR list, mostly because the blurbs about the plot just didn't appeal to me. I'm so glad I took the plunge with this group, because the plot synopsis doesn't do this book justice.

Anyway, plot aside, what a wonderful writer! His prose is so clear and elegant,free of florid embellishments and curlicues. It's a pleasure to read - it has such an easy flow to it.

And his characters, how beautifully he brings them to life for us; the dialogue is so appropriate for the ages and personalities of the characters.

And what a masterful touch he has. The humor is so delicate, yet it makes me laugh out loud at times. The descriptive elements are so lovely.

I'm going to stop with this post and get to the specifics in a later one (or two or three :)).

Having just celebrated my 60th birthday, I am a little astonished at how painful the reading has been so far. I was a tormented child in school. Bullied physically and emotionally. It was unrelenting and it went on all the way through 9th grade. Then in my sophomore year of high school, I started performing on stage and it was such a relief to be someone else for a while.

So many years ago - but this book is making it feel like yesterday. And, unlike Philip, I had loving parents to come home to. So, for him, it's a double blow. Tormented at school and no place to come home to.

My point (I do have one) is that, what this can do to someone's self-esteem cannot be underestimated. It profoundly affects decision-making processes in every facet of life, but particularly ones having to do with relationships. Such individuals can feel as if they aren't worthy of real love. In fact, they may even be suspicious if someone of true quality loves them at all.

I haven't read ahead (in fact, I'm a bit behind), but the book blurbs mention Philip's seemingly incomprehensible fixation on a love interest unworthy of him. Incomprehensible to some, perhaps, but if someone feels as if they are unworthy, they may have a tendency to set their sights rather low when it comes to finding a romantic partner.

Anyway, like I said, I haven't read this book before, but I can certainly understand operating from that kind of emotional center.

Singing, performing, finding relief in the love of my family - this saved me.

But - I wonder - what will be Philip's relief? Will he find it? Will he even think enough of himself to try?

So, in answer to E'man's very thought-provoking question: populating fiction with characters bereft of the love of family and friends creates a setting for intense, complex experiences, thus drawing the reader more fully into the narrative. Either because it's a world of which they know nothing. Or a world they know all too well.

Linda wrote: "Kaycie wrote: "The group seems to be leaning towards Q now, though, so I might roll with that one and do CSS either after that or after Paula's read since I have no idea what I'll be able to expect..."

I'm flexible :). Once I decide on the book I will let you guys know and we can see what everyone would be in the mood for next.

Kaycie wrote: "I will be in on Midnight's Children, as well. I also would be willing to moderate my nomination of City Sister Silver if there was enough interest with the rest of the reading crowd (I think only ..."

I don't think Ami was singling out anyone who had nominated a book which wasn't chosen. There were some of us who also signed up for the readathon, which involved a commitment to participating by stepping up to lead a discussion.

I'm one of those culprits :).

I had a terrible Spring, no lie. I'm also a director of finance for a large IT company and our fiscal year ends in July, which means my summers are always hell.

However, I am volunteering to lead a discussion in the Fall. I nominated Adam Buenosayres: A Critical Edition, but I am also strongly leaning toward Robertson Davies' The Cornish Trilogy because it is jam-packed with interesting things to discuss and wow could that man write. It's a pleasure to read him.

Zulfiya, would that timing work?

Sounds perfect. With you and Zulfiya, we are doubly fortunate.

Kristen wrote: "I didn't vote because I was unexpectedly on hiatus the past couple of months due to work/career issues. I apologize for that but would love to chime in on this read if it's okay with the group. :..."

Yeah I had to drop off the radar too for a couple of months. Glad March and April are over.

Amanda wrote: "Paula - which kindle version did you get?"

The 99 cent version :-)