Zombie Bastard

Jerrod Balzer (Goodreads Author)

4.20 · Rating details · 10 ratings · 3 reviews

Zombie

A delayed curse is taking effect, engulfing a Missouri town with the undead. Leading the onslaught is a creature that lacks mercy or compassion, only an intense drive to see the curse through. Its fate was sealed years ago, simply for being born a…

Bastard

Trevor is dealing with a curse of his own: he has the runs. On a desperate trek to visit is ailing mother, he sear ...more

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Paperback, 84 pages

Published January 2010 by Novello Publishers

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· 10 ratings · 3 reviews

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Jan 16, 2010 Zoe rated it liked it

Shelves: horror, ebook

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and in Zombie Bastard, it’s a dish served as leftovers long overdue. A novella by Jerrod Balzer, Zombie Bastard tells the story of Trevor, a city slicker who stumbles into a small town to poop on a bad night. No, really. A scuffle in the bathroom with a zombie lands Trevor in jail with Josh, who seems to know exactly what’s going on.

What follows if a fast paced race through town to avoid the zombies who are returning due to the effects of a curse. I liked the ...more

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Jan 07, 2010 Rhonda rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2010

Novello Publishers is known for publishing books in the comic horror sub-genre. Their latest release by Jerrod Balzar definitely falls into this category as it starts off with some crazy bathroom humor. Poor Trevor happened to eat some bad Chinese food right before receiving a phone call from his brother saying that his mother had been admitted to the hospital. In his rush to get out the door, he didn't take the time to hit the john and as soon as he hits the road, his stomach started rumbling. Novello Publishers is known for publishing books in the comic horror sub-genre. Their latest release by Jerrod Balzar definitely falls into this category as it starts off with some crazy bathroom humor. Poor Trevor happened to eat some bad Chinese food right before receiving a phone call from his brother saying that his mother had been admitted to the hospital. In his rush to get out the door, he didn't take the time to hit the john and as soon as he hits the road, his stomach started rumbling. Driving through an area where there are no rest stops,e his options appeared to be either to run into the woods somewhere and drop his drawers, or else just have an accident in the car. When he had just about given in to the idea of cutting loose in the woods, he saw a light at the end of the tunnel... a gas station! Said gas station happened to have a really run-down restroom on the side of the building. Rushing into the single stall once the station manager came out, he didn't think twice about there being an audience outside listening to him "go" so he just let everything out. While he continued his business he heard another "guest" enter the room. Trevor heard some struggling over at the sink and the next thing he knew there was a zombie tearing the hinges off the stall door. That's a sure fire way to make someone crap themselves! Luckily, Trevor was in the right spot for that, but then the zombie went to attack and the chase was on!

Balzar has created a great piece of comic horror fiction with Zombie Bastard. Filled with bathroom humor throughout, it still has a great plot. The story behind how the Zombie Bastard came about is quite an interesting tale. Obviously it's about a bastard child, but there is a lot more to it than that, and Balzar describes the tale of the Zombie Bastard and the curse that was put on the town with added humor to give it more flair. The Zombie Bastard himself is an interesting character, as you discover from how he was "created", but one of my favorite characters in the book comes in to play towards the end... The Witch Bitch. The story really ties together when Trevor finally gets to meet her. There is a lot discovered with Trevor's visit to her house and The Witch Bitch amused me both in her actions and just her name alone. I found myself laughing throughout this entire book and would've finished it in one sitting (no pun intended) had I not been interrupted with other things going on in real-life. Definitely a must-read for the comic horror fans out there. Highly Recommended!

Contains: Adult Language, Adult Situations, Bathroom Humor

Review also posted at MonsterLibrarian.com ...more

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Feb 14, 2010 Daniel Russell rated it it was amazing

Shelves: reads-since-the-big-move, signed-editions

Balzer has established himself as one of the masters of gross out horror-humour. Some of his short stories in the Tabloid Terrors series were stand outs. Here we have one of Balzer's solo outings, a long short story (or short novella) about a zombie...whose also a bastard.

Trevor is on the road, heading to the hospital to visit his mother, whose just had a heart attack. Poor guy. If this wasn't bad enough, he ate some under cooked Chinese food and has the squits. If THAT wasn't bad enough, the to Balzer has established himself as one of the masters of gross out horror-humour. Some of his short stories in the Tabloid Terrors series were stand outs. Here we have one of Balzer's solo outings, a long short story (or short novella) about a zombie...whose also a bastard.

Trevor is on the road, heading to the hospital to visit his mother, whose just had a heart attack. Poor guy. If this wasn't bad enough, he ate some under cooked Chinese food and has the squits. If THAT wasn't bad enough, the town he chooses to relieve himself in just so happens to be cursed, and on this night, the curse is finally coming true.

Lead by the zombie bastard, the deceased are coming back to life. All Trevor wants to do is a shit. Is that too much to ask?

In a horribly saturated subgenre, Balzer puts his own masterful stamp on the zombie tale with his on the nose toilet humour. Yes, it's all a little tongue in cheek and doesn't take itself too seriously, but the story is so well crafted that you genuinely care for Trevor and want to see him through. And unfortunately...well...you know if you read a horror about headlice, it would make you itch? This one will make you want to...you know.

Who thought that poo can be used to build suspense? Balzer uses it with panache, and also utilises that moment of vulnerability, sitting in a public bathroom, pants around your ankles...

There is also a fair bit of mystery here that the author unwinds with perfect timing. This isn't playground poo jokes, but a zombie story that hits every note it should. I read the complete thing in one sitting.

And it's not often I mention covers. Caroline O'Neal did a wonderful job here with eye-catching artwork that captures the feel of the book perfectly.

A complete success all round. My only gripe is that I wanted more, either a novel length zombie tale, or perhaps a nice collection of three or four shorter stories of this size.

Fans of zombie stories that are a bit different should snap this up. You won't be disappointed, hopefully. ...more

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