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The School of Life: An Emotional Education

Alain de Botton (Goodreads Author) (Editor)

4.39 · Rating details · 666 ratings · 67 reviews

Discover everything you were never taught at school about how to lead a better life...

Introduced and edited by the bestselling author of The Consolations of Philosophy, The Art of Travel and The Course of Love

We spend years in school learning facts and figures but the one thing we're never taught is how to live a fulfilled life. That's why we need The School of Life - a ...more

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Paperback, 310 pages

Published September 5th 2019 by Hamish Hamilton

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· 666 ratings · 67 reviews

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Nov 18, 2019 Anastasiya Mozgovaya rated it it was amazing

i think everyone should get this book on the day they are born. and then go through living keeping it by their side. i feel like this should become my go-to gift.

smart, soothing, wise, philosophical, direct, daring, kind. truly a must-read for everyone!

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Sep 16, 2019 Aaron rated it it was amazing

If youre a long-time fan of the School of Life then there wont actually be much in this collection of essays that you havent already seen. But if youre new to De Bottons philosophical capitalist venture, then youll find herein a smorgasbord of intellectual medication, concentrated in pill form, equally effective when either taken in small doses, or downed in one. ...more

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Oct 28, 2019 Vanya rated it really liked it

Shelves: own

We arent ever done with the odd business of becoming that most extraordinary and prized of things, an emotionally mature personor, to put in a simpler way, an almost grown-up adult.- Alain De Botton

The School of Life: An Emotional Education comprises essays on how to survive in the modern world by mastering our emotions. Alain De Botton founded The School of Life 10 years ago to help people nurture and hone their emotional intelligence, an aspect that remains conveniently overlooked in our ...more

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Feb 29, 2020 Liina Bachmann rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2020

The School of Life: An Emotional Education is a reassuring and sane voice in the world of constant self-improvement, instant gratification, life-wrecking perfectionism and outdated romantic ideals. A book that so well captures the perplexity of being human that it should be read by everyone.

It is divided into five parts: Self, Others, Relationships, Work and Culture. Those chapters dont give you any upbeat tips on how to improve yourself or tackle certain situations. Instead, with a bit of very ...more

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Oct 08, 2019 Steve rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: kindle, hard-copy-purchased

This is a profound book that provides some incisive advice on life and relationships from the perspective of one's emotional life. The prose is often close to poetic and no punches are pulled when it comes to facing reality and living well. Almost every paragraph has something useful and memorable to say. This is no platitudinous self-help book. It is challenging and sometimes confronting, but deeply resonant with those who know they are flawed human beings struggling to live a better life. If ...more

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Nov 18, 2019 Stijn Zanders rated it really liked it

Great ideas, though it feels too much of a compilation of them. Would have liked it if the ideas were more connected.

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Dec 05, 2019 Keen rated it liked it · review of another edition

3.5 Stars!

De Botton may only take credit for the introduction to this book, but you can hear his voice all the way through it. This is a compilation of philosophy, advice and other insights, most of which will be familiar to those who have watched those many videos online or have read any of the books.

I can see both sides of the coin with this book, in one sense I see why the growing franchise can be accused of stating the obvious and repeating old ideas, but on the other hand it gets into some ...more

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Sep 22, 2019 Maddie Nastase rated it liked it · review of another edition

This is a wonderful introduction to the concepts and philosophy of The School.

However, if you're already familiar with them and have been following them for a while and have read some of their other books, you'll find very little new material here. The 'Relationship' section of the book is identical with their 'Relationships' book published a few years ago, which was disappointing to find out.

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Jan 18, 2020 Oana Filip rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

I am mesmerized about the density of concepts presented so wisely by Alain de Botton. The beauty of this book lies in how common yet challenging notions about life are put together to offer a more authentic and thoughtful perspective. For those of us preoccupied with self-discovery, this read reveals valuable insights that could work like great reminders of the lessons we once learned.

I love Botton's book for both the lens he encourages us to see the world through (with more gentleness and ...more

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Jan 31, 2020 Charles Adey rated it it was amazing

The School of Life is a quietly very well written guide to your own inner thoughts and worries which, rather than bringing you an influx of new ideas, reminds you of ideals you already have and brings them back to the foreground with clarity in a way you perhaps hadnt considered before.

This is a book Im sure I will refer back to in the future and will be recommending to friends! ...more

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Mar 11, 2020 Jack M rated it it was amazing

Decent enough advice for the unhappy citizens of the West.

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Jan 31, 2020 Irene rated it it was amazing

I think most humans on this planet would benefit from reading this book. It's beautiful, concise, wise, universal and deeply understanding.

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Feb 17, 2020 Oeystein Hanssen rated it liked it

Shelves: audible

If youve mainly read classical philosophy, De Botton offers a fresh and more accessible, modern take on practical philosophy. The book is a collection of advice (mostly based, I think, on the School of Life-Youtube videos) and perspectives where De Botton tries to help people understand themselves and live more fulfilled lives.

I found some of the content to hit a nerve and at times to be comforting, so Im looking forward to discover more of the School of Life from https://www.theschooloflife.com ...more

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Dec 31, 2019 Outdoors Nerd rated it it was amazing

Deeply, deeply informative. Cover to cover wisdom and actionable, demonstrative psychology. You will know much of this on some level, but as editor De Botton writes:

"We need to be sophisticated enough to not reject a truth because it sounds like something we already know. We need to be mature enough to bend down and pick up governing ideas in their simplest guises."

Self, Others, Relationships, Work and Culture.

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Dec 30, 2019 Kat rated it liked it

I actually cant believe people think so highly of this book. Maybe these concepts will be novel or enlightening for someone who has never considered their own self development, but a lot of this is pretty basic. More specifically though, here are some issues with this book:
1. It is *incredibly* repetitive. Really the same viewpoints are stated over and over again.
2. It is very unbalanced. Really this is De Bottons manifesto on how everybody should be more polite, pessimistic and how we should I actually can’t believe people think so highly of this book. Maybe these concepts will be novel or enlightening for someone who has never considered their own self development, but a lot of this is pretty basic. More specifically though, here are some issues with this book:
1. It is *incredibly* repetitive. Really the same viewpoints are stated over and over again.
2. It is very unbalanced. Really this is De Botton’s manifesto on how everybody should be more polite, pessimistic and how we should give up on overly lofty ideals. Problem is, he doesn’t reeeally explore any other viewpoints. He categorises his own viewpoints as “classical” and the rest of culture-at-large’s viewpoints as “romantic” and says we could learn from both but it’s not difficult to see which viewpoints he actually thinks have any worth.
3. He doesn’t outline what the logical endpoint of his views are. Perhaps we should be more tolerant of our romantic partners, knowing that everyone has faults and we are no exception etc. but what about someone in an abusive relationship? They could read this book and draw the conclusion that really their partner isn’t so bad and that they probably deserve the abuse they are receiving. And they should just stomach it and realistically view it as their lot in life. This is just one example but if you take De Botton’s advice to the nth, you will live in a world where nothing is improved, where any kind of insidious harmful behaviour is lovingly excused or forgiven, where people easily give up on any kind of ambition, where everyone is so polite that they are even more reticent to share their deepest selves and where consequently loneliness is even more deeply entrenched and where we don’t question our own loneliness because that’s just the human condition. Sounds like a fun world, right?

Really this could be said in a much shorter book but my suspicion is that this book is in fact a collection of hastily compiled smaller books that don’t always gel very well with each other. I’ve given it 3 stars because the sections “self” and “relationships” have some more practical information, and the section “work” has some interesting historical contextualisation. But other than this, this is just a book where de Botton lists which virtues he thinks are worth a dime. Again and again and again. ...more

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Nov 29, 2019 christina rated it really liked it

Shelves: philosophy, essays, psychology

As others have stated, many of the concepts in "The School of Life: An Emotional Education" is, to the point of verbatim in some cases, from other texts, their own Youtube channel, or blog. This shouldn't deter anyone from reading this book, however, as much of the book weaves a more complete and complex relationship between self, others, and how we view ourselves as connected and inter-connected. That, I believe, is the true merit of this book.

That said, this book really shines in the first As others have stated, many of the concepts in "The School of Life: An Emotional Education" is, to the point of verbatim in some cases, from other texts, their own Youtube channel, or blog. This shouldn't deter anyone from reading this book, however, as much of the book weaves a more complete and complex relationship between self, others, and how we view ourselves as connected and inter-connected. That, I believe, is the true merit of this book.

That said, this book really shines in the first three sections: Self-Knowledge, Others, and Relationships as the book defines how one effects and is affected in multiplicitous and ever-varying ways within these dynamics. Given the strength in the detail and connectedness of the first three sections, the section related to Work, was a bit shocking; I had expected the same narrative perspective in the Work section but rather, this section had no discernible narrative or thematic cohesiveness and appeared to be a set of -- albeit intelligently written and insightful discussions -- random thoughts about anything from social aspirations to cultural expectations to the artistic role of education. The Culture section was only marginally less haphazard. While it appears that the Culture section attempted to tether the Books' overall purpose together by beginning a discussion on the differences between the Romantic and Classical School of Thought, which I quite liked, their manoeuvre into what constitutes a 'wise' person seemed, in all fairness, quite *idealistic*, which seemed somewhat contradictory to their assertions throughout the book, claiming that Romanticism is the cause for many societal problems we face currently today.

Yet perhaps it was done deliberately (as they state themselves) in that we -- all of us -- cannot shake off our romantic ideals no more than we can be wholly clinical in our approach to life and wholly good. Our ideals shape our views of the world and ourselves but our experience, regrets, disappointments are rooted in the classical: in that it can assist in the refinements of our person to that ever elusive "wisdom" we seek. ...more

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Feb 10, 2020 Mikayla rated it it was amazing

Shelves: reviewed, philosophy

This book will make you sigh with relief. Life is depressing, romanticism is a facade and work will never be satisfying. Your partner will disappoint you and you will never be as happy as you think you should be.

We are all crazy and sad but there are still so many things to be happy about, to share with each other and enjoy. It is nice to be nice to one another.

This book is mostly an introspective investigation into the self, relationships and work through a historical and cultural lens.

In ...more

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Nov 05, 2019 Ali Hussein rated it it was ok

WOW. What a Boring and Tedious book. Truly a let down and overhyped. The book seemed to go on a constant tangent throughout. Constantly going excessively into detail about anything and everything. £17 price point for this book is ridiculous. The only reason I havent given it 1 star is because I learnt a couple of things from it aha. ...more

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Feb 10, 2020 Lea rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

You cannot after finishing this book NOT be emotionally smarter. Insightful and beautifully crafted as usual with AdB.

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Dec 25, 2019 Ruth Browne rated it it was amazing

One of the best things I've read this year. It's a series of in-depth assessments of human emotion and behaviour in certain major spheres of our lives. Some critical items of wisdom I gleaned include: we are all idiots, and this becomes apparent from time to time, so be less afraid of the inevitable; we are all prone to petty but deeply felt emotions like envy, so don't imagine you are uniquely awful and alone; almost no one is ever intentionally malicious - instead, we act out of known and ...more

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Jan 29, 2020 Tsatsral added it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book is about an insightful summarized ideas of great thinkers across time. A lot of great ideas about human nature written as an essay like format. Here are the quotes that I liked:

"The emotionally intelligent person knows that love is a skill." (3)
"An inner voice was always an outer voice that we have - imperceptibly - made our own." (63)
"Contented people have no need to hurt others." (87)
"few ideas are totally and without merit, no proposals are 100 per cent wrong and almost no one is ...more

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Dec 27, 2019 Simona rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I definitely think everybody should read it, preferrably at a younger age. I see this book adding heaps of value to the life of a 15 year-old; the use in your late twenties is more limited, as you will have chewed through more or most of those ideas already by then, depending on where you are in life.

I thoroughly enjoyed the section on politeness vs. frankness and the different world views that are carried behind these traits, a section that is worth reading in total and cannot be summed up in a I definitely think everybody should read it, preferrably at a younger age. I see this book adding heaps of value to the life of a 15 year-old; the use in your late twenties is more limited, as you will have chewed through more or most of those ideas already by then, depending on where you are in life.

I thoroughly enjoyed the section on politeness vs. frankness and the different world views that are carried behind these traits, a section that is worth reading in total and cannot be summed up in a review.

Beautiful use of language by the way! If you are a non-native, this book is a big asset in learning how to speak well.

Some of my favorite quotes:

"The point of art was [...] to nudge our recalcitrant minds towards accepting ideas that we might nod along to but then ignore if they were not stated in especially varnished and graceful terms. Christianity, for example, devoted so much attention to art (architecture, music, paining, etc.) not because it cared for beauty per se, but because it understood the power of beauty to persuade us into particular patterns of thought [...]."

On delivering bad news: "But true niceness does not mean seeming nice, it means helping the people we are going to disappoint to adjust as best they can to reality. By administering a sharp, clean blow, the diplomatic person kills off the torture of hope, accepting the frustration that is likely to come their way: the diplomat is kind enough to let themselves sometimes be the target of hate."

"[...] The weakness of strength: This dictates that we should interpret people's weaknesses as the inevitable downside of certain merits that drew us to them, and from which we will benefit at other points."

"We don't fall in love first and foremost with those who care for us best and most devotedly; we fall in love with those who care for us in ways that we expect. [...] Far more than happiness, what motivates us in relationships is a search for familiarity."

"Two people should see a relationship as a constant opportunity to improve and be improved."

"When we spot apparent perfection, we tend to blame our spectacular bad luck for the mediocrity of our lives, without realizing that we are mistaking an asymmetry of knowledge for an asymmetry of quality: we are failing to see that our partner, home and job are not especially awful, but rather that we know them especially well."

"We start to behave across our whole lives like the people work has required us to be in our productive hours. Along the way, this narrows character."

"In their way, religions addressed a universal problem: they recognized the powerful need to be intimately known and appreciated and admitted frankly that this need could not realistically ever be met by other people. What replaced religion in our imaginations [...] is the cult of human-to-human love we now know as Romanticism, which bequeathed to us the beautiful but reckless idea that loneliness might be capable of being vanquished, if we are fortunate and determined enough to meet the one exalted being known as our soulmate, someone who will understand everything deep and strange about us, who will see us completely and be enchanted by our totality. But the legacy of Romanticism has been an epidemic of loneliness, as we are repeatedly brought up against the truth: the radical inability of any one other person to wholly grasp who we truly are." ...more

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Jan 19, 2020 Eliza rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

Jan 6, 2020: The premise of this book is at once promising and preposterous: we should spend less time studying calculus and more time studying emotional insight--how to live, how to understand ourselves, others, and our relationships. Promising, because I agree. So many of us get to adulthood with little understanding of why we do what we do, and who we are or want to be. Yes! Let's study "life" so we can be better, kinder, wiser people! And, to a certain extent, de Botton delivers on this Jan 6, 2020: The premise of this book is at once promising and preposterous: we should spend less time studying calculus and more time studying emotional insight--how to live, how to understand ourselves, others, and our relationships. Promising, because I agree. So many of us get to adulthood with little understanding of why we do what we do, and who we are or want to be. Yes! Let's study "life" so we can be better, kinder, wiser people! And, to a certain extent, de Botton delivers on this promise, with a methodical, articulate, and comprehensive (if necessarily highly compressed) explanation of human nature. He is wise, kind, and quite funny along the way; he comes across not as a pontificator, but as a wise advisor or helping hand. So much of what he says rings true--so many lines I wanted to underline and save. I ate it up.
But then, something happened to tip my enthusiasm. Maybe it's a bit too long. Maybe he begins to repeat himself. Or maybe the premise loses its power. In any case, about two thirds through, I started thinking about why I was enjoying the book so much. Does it matter that I'm approaching 60, and have been thinking much about these topics the last few years? What would a college student, or a busy person in their 20s, 30s, or even 40s do with all this sage advice? Can it be internalized--can we learn from a book what deep down, we know has to be learned through experience?
That's where the preposterous comes in. You can't teach an infant to walk, or to talk. It's hard to explain to an adolescent that their actions will have far-reaching consequences. We understand this on a fundamental level--that the emotional (and physical) development of humans can't be hurried, and that only through experience do we understand certain aspects of life. So while anyone could read this book, and derive value and education from it in an intellectual way, can they bypass developmental processes and absorb the wisdom in a way that can help them emotionally going forward? I don't actually know. And, despite the absurdity of the proposal, I enjoyed pondering the question, and I enjoyed reading the book. Great way to start my year. ...more

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Jan 12, 2020 Roos Havinga rated it liked it

Shelves: philosophy

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Doubting between giving this 3 or 4 stars. This book is, by all means, necessary and eye-opening. Living in a society where such large emphasis has been put on perfection, this book details precisely the opposite - that life is full of grief, sadness, anger, doubts, confusion and all other emotions we are not meant to feel, or let alone speak of. And that this isnt particularly good or bad, it just is. By merely accepting this, we might be able to weather whatever life throws at us a little ...more

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Jan 19, 2020 Esi_70 rated it really liked it

Even if the book apparently has been written by some School for Life professionals and only the introduction is by AdB, the book sounds entirely his. This is like a amalgamation of the main small and not so books and videos the school for life as produced, even if I had read and watched many of them, still enjoyed refreshing my knowledge and understanding of these essential subjects.

The language of the first parts in particular is very elaborated and I found it over the top sometimes. I thank ...more

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Feb 03, 2020 Vanessa rated it it was amazing

Shelves: serious-adult-books

I discovered Alain de Botton while in Geneva (basic, I know). I read de Botton's 'The Course of Love' first and was enchanted enough to pick him up again. Over the course of five chapters (Self, Others, Relationships, Work and Culture), de Botton provides convincing arguments and explanations for the madness and arbitrariness of the human condition. He explores the importance of compassion (for the self and others); makes a case for politeness over authenticity (because protecting others from ...more

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Feb 03, 2020 Konstantinos Drakinos rated it it was amazing

The School of Life is a truly amazing book filled with brilliant insights about the human psyche and builds on them with fascinating ideas that can guide a person towards a more fulfilling life.

The book draws on the idea that humans are fundamentally complex creatures that are tragically condemned to failure, disappointment and loneliness by our nature and culture. While this premise may seem pessimistic, it is also liberating because it bridges the gap between our expectations and our reality. ...more

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Jan 28, 2020 Dila rated it liked it

Such an eccentric reading experience! There are some parts that i was very critical about and strongly disagree with. But i think that's the point of this book; don't take everything, necessarily, as it is.

If i learnt anything at all, it would be a quite positive insight for me and my limited understanding; is that I am, gladly, not crazy. I am, gladly, sane. The fact that these people, the school of life organization, made this book and conceptualized their own theory of how one should live ...more

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Feb 16, 2020 Barry Morisse rated it really liked it

Shelves: library

I'm a very big fan of the work being done by 'The School of Life'. They have a way of delivering timeless wisdom, consolation and truth without pretense or judgment. We all could do with a better grasp of our own emotions and how they impact the way we see the world - and this book is a great opportunity for reflection and meditation on the topic.

The key takeaway is that we are not alone. The problems, insecurities and shame that we think is uniquely ours, is actually shared by everyone. We are ...more

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Jan 09, 2020 Martyn Carter rated it it was amazing

I thought this was really very good. Well written, well structured and deeply compassionate. Essentially a self help book about how to be more emotionally intelligent and live a more fulfilling life. The book is divided into sections on self, others, relationships, work and culture. It is a good accompanying book to Philippa Perrys book The Book You Wish Your Parents had Read. These subjects are all dealt with from the perspective that we are all normal. If I had a criticism it would be that it ...more

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About Alain de Botton

Alain de Botton

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Alain de Botton is a writer and television producer who lives in London and aims to make philosophy relevant to everyday life. He can be contacted by email directly via www.alaindebotton.com

He is a writer of essayistic books, which refer both to his own experiences and ideas- and those of artists, philosophers and thinkers. It's a style of writing that has been termed a 'philosophy of everyday ...more

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