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Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

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3.99  ·  Rating details ·  3,857 ratings  ·  670 reviews
This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.

Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women
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Hardcover, 277 pages
Published March 26th 2019 by Ballantine Books (first published March 12th 2019)
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Keridwyn Deller Yes. I have no kids (and don't plan on having any) and I got a lot from this book. It is, however VERY directed to women/women-identified people.

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Average rating 3.99  · 
Rating details
 ·  3,857 ratings  ·  670 reviews


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Elyse  Walters
Mar 27, 2019 rated it did not like it
Audiobook... read by the author.

When I first saw this perky pink- book - with the title
“Burnout”.... I was kidding - but not completely when I said... “Paul, I have a book for you”.
Paul looked at the title and said.... “stresses me out just looking at that book”.

I thought I would be nice and download it and see if I had any words of wisdom to pass on to my husband who is experiencing different degrees of burnout associated with his tired aching body, paperwork, and the state of our country.
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Trin
Jan 08, 2019 rated it it was ok
This is a really well-intentioned book, and I think/hope it will be helpful to a lot of people. I think the authors' advice is generally very good. However, nothing in here was particularly new to me, nor presented in a way that especially resonated. In fact, I found the sort of Tumblr-y, fandom-lite writing style--"feels"! "tl;dr"! quoting Cassandra Clare, good god--to be a little too cutesy. Like, it was just a half-beat off rhythm from the kind of humor and #relatablecontent that does ...more
Meagan
Feb 15, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This book is filled with so much information, and I’ve been obsessively recommending it and quoting it to just about every woman I know. It’s got so much good and general information about the stress cycle, and how to deal with it. (And anxiety, and burnout, and loneliness, and and and.) A lot of the information applies to all humans, but this book addresses the unique stress related to being a female-type person. None of that stress will be surprising to women, but this is the first time I can ...more
Ginger
Jun 12, 2019 rated it did not like it
As the authors would say, “ugh.”

No really, I counted about five “ughs” in the initial skim through of the book.

This felt not only whiny and unprofessional, but also as if they were setting me up not to take it seriously. Beyond that, it was hard to.

Everyone is talking about this, so while I don’t particularly relish giving something a poor review, I just don’t want you to rush out and buy it like I did without knowing what you’re getting into.

Firstly, the research presented throughout was...
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Khurram
Dec 26, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It might be a feminist book but the idea do work for both genders

I would have given this book 5 stars, except Emily and Amelia are only talking to half the population. Yes many women have had life and choices (or lack of choices) and experienced hardship more then man over the year. Things are getting better but are not perfect yet, but as the ladies says everyone's experience is different and a whole gender should not be judged by the few or the worst examples of it.

I disagree with the premise
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lov2laf
Emily and Amelia Nagoski are talented enough in their chosen fields but they missed their calling as professional audiobook narrators. They pack a lot of info and wisdom into their "Burnout" book but, very importantly, they are *really* fun to listen to.

This book is basically for any and every woman making their way through life and shoveling the shit that comes with it. I wouldn't say I'm burnt out but stressed? Hell, yes. This, along with Emily Nagoski's "Come As You Are" should be required
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Leigh Kramer
Jan 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites, nonfiction
Someday I will look back on this time in my life and point to this book as when it all changed. Yes. It’s that good. I'm a huge fan of Emily Nagoski's Come As You Are. In it, she briefly explored unlocking the stress cycle and it gave me so much to think about. A whole book co-written with her sister dedicated to the topic? Music to my ears and boy, did it deliver.

The introduction and first chapter blew my mind, right from the get-go and it only got better from there. There are so many takeaways
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Lorilin
Apr 06, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own, wellness, food-health
The only reason I picked up this book is because I went to the bookstore to pick up a different book by the same author called Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life (a truly outstanding, mind-blowing exploration of female sexuality and the female orgasm. #yesplease). While I was there, though, I saw that Emily Nagoski (and her twin sister, Amelia) just released a new book called Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Whaaaat?! A book on how to ...more
Anna J. Shelby ☕
Apr 07, 2019 rated it did not like it
Shelves: at-your-own-risk
This book is such a disappointment. Buckets of crazy feminist bs in it. This sucks as a help book.

It started out pretty good but turned into an annoying tirade about patriarchy and an obesity glorifying mantra.

I was stressed out just reading it. The messages are a copy&paste from girls magazines: find joy, not happinness, connection and passion are key, etc. etc. The villain is the patriarchy only, and being overweight is awesome, because we are all such special snowflakes. I hear you, dear
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Molly Ferguson
Apr 11, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: aspirational
This is the feminist book on stress I never knew I needed! I would never have picked up this book if I were judging its cover, first for the "breast cancer ribbon pink" of the cover and then for the title. I blame the publishers rather than the authors for this, though, because once inside the book is searingly feminist and offers excellent examples and tips for how to "complete the stress cycle" so that you live to smash the patriarchy another day. I don't think of myself as someone who is ...more
Kelly
I'm not burned out, nor have I been at that point in any time since leaving libraries, but this is a damn good book, whether or not you experience burnout. There's no groundbreaking knowledge conveyed here -- we all know exercise is good for us and so is rest -- but the context the Nagoskis offer, as well as their research, offers up the why behind it. Exercise completes the stress cycle. Resting allows our brains to do a ton of work. I was kind of blown away by the fact we're to rest 40% of our ...more
Katherine Pershey
Jun 22, 2019 rated it it was amazing
THIS BOOK IS SO GOOD. EVERYBODY SHOULD READ IT. YES I AM ALL-CAPS YELLING.
Taryn
Apr 03, 2019 rated it really liked it
I’m skeptical when it comes to self help books, but after hearing the Nagoski sisters on Smart Podcast, Trashy Books and being totally charmed by them, I knew I wanted to hear more of their ideas. The title to me is a little limited for what the book actually is: an exploration of not just burnout but the stress that causes it, with a specific focus on how stress affects women and what we can do to release some of the pressure. Some chapters will resonate more or less with different readers, but ...more
Megan Mills
Feb 11, 2019 rated it it was amazing
All women should read this book.
Amy-GallivantingPages
Mar 01, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-netgalley
*** 3.5 rounded up to 4 Stars ***

Let me start by saying I am not a fan of self help books that feel like cheerleaders. I don't want to be cheered on in life. So then why did I request this book? I requested this because this is NOT that kind of self help book. Burnout is something we all fear and unfortunately happens to all of us. These ladies did their homework regarding the scientific evidence behind burnout and how to prevent it, which I was extremely interested in. There's some graphs and
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Emma
Jul 10, 2019 rated it it was ok
I was left feeling a bit confused after finishing this book. The title implies the book is about burn-out and how to solve your stress etc, but in reality the book was only about burnout and how to actaully handle stress for 10%, while the other 90% was filled with feministic chatter about how the patriarchy has caused your burnout or stress if you are a female-identifying person.

In my opinion there is absolutely nothing wrong with books about feminism, the patriarchy and how they may or may not
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Amy
It isn't every day that I say that a book has truly changed my life but this one did. This is a book that every woman should read. EVERY WOMAN. I found it to be revolutionary ... it explained so much to me about why I was feeling the way that I was feeling. And, even better, it gave me information about how to deal with it. I only wish I'd had this book when I was in my 20s & providing counseling to domestic violence and sexual abuse survivors every day and slowly burning out. I sometimes ...more
Shannon A
Nov 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Everyone is burned out these days. Most of us (especially women) are brought up believing that you must be pretty, happy, calm, and generous at all times: Failure is not an option.
This book blows the doors off all that, by uncovering the true elements of and causes of burnout (with help from Star Trek!) and gives the tools and techniques needed to combat burnout.
This book is the much needed and urgent answer to a desperate call from all of us.

This is the book we have all been waiting for.
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Lisa Butterworth
May 10, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: brain-books
Much better than the average self-help book. It has all the usual good advice bits, and a few that were even new to me, specific advice for finishing the stress cycle, getting lots of rest, what self-care really looks like. I loved the "human giving" vs. "human being" discussion. The place where this book really stood out for me though, was is the acknowledgement of systemic inequality, so many self-help books want to sell the idea that you can fix all the problems in your life, and that makes ...more
Kaytee Cobb
May 17, 2019 rated it it was amazing
I need a copy of this book. Need.
JoAnna
Jul 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Crucial reading for overwhelmed, under-resourced women who want to be healthy and joyful people, despite the barrage of negative voices in mainstream culture.
Viv JM
3.5 stars

A lot of this is standard self-care advice eg exercise, get enough sleep, do meaningul things, connect with others. But what sets this apart is the feminist slant and the acknowlegement that no, you are not imagining it, the cards are stacked against you! I did occasionally find the humour a bit forced and irritating (especially the fact that every instance of the word patriarchy had (ugh) after it) but overall, a helpful book.
Mel
Jul 08, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Wonderful, informative and relatable, even fun despite the oft-depressing topics, like the "Bikini Industrial Complex" and the "Giver Syndrome", sisters (twins, actually) Emily and Amelia Nagoski collaborated on a book SO of the times it was almost too good, too real. Though it is really focused on issues women face and how we can cope with burnout in our professional and personal lives by doing things like not dissing other women based on appearance, it’s also embracing everyone's hotness, as ...more
angelareadsbooks
Jan 29, 2019 rated it liked it
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book.
Unfortunately this was a case of reading a book at the wrong time. I’m in the midst of a season of deep burnout. I’m in the midst of being three months unemployed. In my case, reading about the patriarchy and body image issues left me well... burned out. I do think a lot of people will resonate with this book. It is perfect timing for those feeling compassion fatigue. And it has some wonderful and deep
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Cari
Jan 27, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Thanks to Edelweiss, the authors, and the publisher for an advanced reader copy. I will be buying a copy of this book when it comes out so I can highlight it all over and remind myself that I need to be following its principles. The Nagoski sisters expertly explain the stress cycle and how we need to make sure we complete it - otherwise we're carrying that stress around with us every day. We need to recognize the adversity that we face, too, especially those of us who are women, people of color, ...more
Tess Malone
Sep 06, 2019 rated it it was ok
The first chapter of this book is amazing at giving you all the tools you need to break out of burn out and stop it before it even starts. The rest is rather basic heteronormative feminism disguised as self-help with a corny writing style that tries to be hip and fun but makes it hard to take the Nagoskis seriously.
Veronica
Oct 18, 2019 rated it did not like it
I'm too old for this.
Allison Parker
Feb 17, 2020 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction, adult
I'm growing uncomfortable with the phrase "must-read." How dare I suggest you MUST read this book? No one NEEDS to read any one particular book. It's a rather personal choice, no? - what you're going to spend your precious free time on. YOU READ WHATEVER YOU DAMN WELL PLEASE.

So instead I will say I VERY STRONGLY RECOMMEND this book, especially if...
1. You identify as a woman.
2. You sometimes, often, or almost always feel a sense of hopelessness, frustration, or exhaustion because there is a deep
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Allison
Jan 29, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fic
BURNOUT was so helpful for me, providing tools to manage my stress. There is a difference between stressors (stressful items on your to do list, a fight w your partner) and stress (the body's reaction, fight/flight/freeze). Even when you address the stressors, your body can still be under STRESS. Chronic stress is terrible for your health, and this book provides science and research-backed suggestions on how to complete that cycle.

Rest is important & connection with community & loved
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Rachel
Nov 28, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Required reading for every woman.
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The official bio is:
"Emily Nagoski has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex
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“Most of us have spent our whole lives being taught to believe everyone else's opinions about our bodies, rather than to believe what our own bodies are trying to tell us. For some of us, it's been so long since we listened to our bodies, we hardly know how to start understanding what they're trying to tell us, much less how to trust and believe what they're saying. To make matters worse, the more exhausted we are, the noisier the signal is, and the harder it is to hear the message.” 5 likes
“The moral of the story is: We thrive when we have a positive goal to move toward, not just a negative state we’re trying to move away from.” 4 likes
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