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What Do We Need Men For?: A Modest Proposal

E. Jean Carroll

3.59 · Rating details · 928 ratings · 183 reviews

When E. Jean Carroll, author of Ask E. Jean in Elle Magazine, realized that her eight million readers and question-writers all seemed to have one thing in common—problems caused by men—she hit the road. Criss-crossing the country with her blue-haired poodle Lewis Carroll, E. Jean stopped in every town named after a woman between Eden, Vermont and Tallulah, Louisiana to ask ...more

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Hardcover, 288 pages

Published July 2nd 2019 by St. Martin's Press

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· 928 ratings · 183 reviews

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Jul 23, 2019 Shannon rated it did not like it

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jul 08, 2019 Carolyn rated it liked it

I've never read anything written by E. Jean Carroll before. I didn't even know she was a long-time advice columnist for Elle, or that she had written an article long ago for Outside magazine about one of my favorites, Fran Lebowitz (excerpting one of my favorite Lebowitz quotes for WDWNMF: "To me the outdoors is what you must pass through to get from your apartment into a taxi"). However, after reading the recent article about her in New York Magazine, largely centered around her rape by Donald ...more

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Aug 06, 2019 Daryll rated it did not like it

I am not sure what I just read, but I know that I hated it. I expected something ironic and funny, but all I got was awkward rambling with unique storytelling (also not a positive trait).

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Jul 18, 2019 Yana (Ms. Yana reads) rated it it was ok

Shelves: nonfiction

Update: OK, I finished the book. My first impression has not changed. A book about nothing....

OK, This is my first impression. It's cute. Way too much of man-bashing even for my taste and I am a single (by choice, after three marriages) very independent, self-sufficient woman, but, what do I know, I am just at the beginning of the book. Also, I would not recommend an audiobook. E. Jean Carroll narrates it herself and I don't like it. She is hard to listen too. I think it was a mistake to self na ...more

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Nov 16, 2019 Jeanette (Again) rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: nonfiction

In which E. Jean Carroll tells the story of how Toadstool Tallywhacker Trump raped her in a dressing room at Bergdorf Goodman back in the 1990s.
Most of this book was just so-so. I had expected it to be a lot more entertaining, but sometimes it seemed like she was trying too hard to be humorous.

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Jul 04, 2019 Christine rated it liked it

I enjoyed this book quite a bit to begin with, but it was a bit of a rollercoaster ride. This review is going to pertain towards the writing rather than the content (Carroll has dealt with a lot of bs and it isn't my intention to review that piece).

I liked the humour at first, but it felt a bit... tiring as it went on. Carroll often went on tangents, which made it a bit difficult to get through. She would start a story, go on about something else and then would finish the story pages and pages l ...more

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Jul 03, 2019 Angel rated it really liked it

A celebration of womanhood in all its glory. Also, very funny. E. Jean is a national treasure. Pre-publication coverage has been all about the Trump incident, but that's about 1 percent of the book, and it comes at the end. Read it for the humor, the insight, and for Lewis Carroll and Miss Bingley. ...more

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Dec 08, 2020 Holly rated it it was ok

Shelves: feminism-and-gender, informational-nonfiction, marriage-dating-relationships, pompous-dreck

You know Moira Rose from Schitts Creek? The way she's always namedropping? The way she considers much of her surroundings beneath her but pluckily ventures forth anyway? The way she looks down on people from rural communities while trying to convince herself they're too dumb to notice her contempt? Imagine that she's not an actress but a writer; imagine that instead of trying to convey glamour and elegance through many affections of speaking and dress she often tries to be yuk-it-up, slapstick h You know Moira Rose from Schitts Creek? The way she's always namedropping? The way she considers much of her surroundings beneath her but pluckily ventures forth anyway? The way she looks down on people from rural communities while trying to convince herself they're too dumb to notice her contempt? Imagine that she's not an actress but a writer; imagine that instead of trying to convey glamour and elegance through many affections of speaking and dress she often tries to be yuk-it-up, slapstick hilarious; then age her a decade.

The result is E. Jean Carroll, at least in this book. It's not really that fun to spend time with her.

In June 2019 New York Magazine published an excerpt, titled "Hideous Men," from What Do We Need Men For? I read it and was blown away. I figured the rest of the book might be just as good, so I really wanted to read the whole thing--but times were tough and I didn't want to pay for a hardcover copy. I kept waiting for a paperback to come out, or for my library to buy it, but that just didn't happen, so eventually, I broke down and bought a copy myself....

And it's one of the silliest books I've ever read in my life. OK, there's the satirical Swiftian "modest proposal" in the subtitle, which involves killing all men and selling them for "their elements" (literally oxygen, hydrogen, nitrogen, etc), which would currently fetch $1.03 or so total per man. It's too dumb and derivative to take seriously or even get offended by. I wish Carroll had worked harder and come up with a better modest proposal, one that might actually seem plausible, despite its monstrosity.

But what's really annoying are all the self-congratulatory, cloying ways Carroll announces how clever she finds her own juvenile jokes, like telling the reader that she named her cat Vagina T. Fireball and that her car is a used Prius, which she named Miss Bingley, after which she spent all this money on automotive paint so she could "hand-paint--hand-paint, Ladies--blue polka dots and green frogs on her."

Yes, there are moments of gravitas, because so much of the book is about violence, sexual or otherwise--being sexually assaulted as a child by other children or teenage babysitters; being assaulted her first semester at college by a creepy boy whom she escapes only because he must use two hands to open the jackknife he intends to use on her; being sexually assaulted as an adult by her boss or by Donald Trump; being strangled nearly to death by her husband. These incidents, which generally do not include a cat named Vagina T. Fireball, are among the better passages in the book and are the reason I gave the book two stars instead of one. But since most of them are included in the NYM "Hideous Men" piece, it's best to just read that and skip all the other trash.

Furthermore, the gravitas and the silliness undercut it each other. I'm sure it's possible to write a funny book about rape and sexual assault--don't know that anyone has done it yet, but I'm sure it's theoretically possible--but it would be challenging. A silly book about sexual assault, is too, too easy to write, and I don't see how it helps anything.

So now I understand why my library didn't buy a copy of this book and why it's never come out in paperback: it's not really very good. Most people know better than to buy it or read it. I wish I had been as wise. ...more

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Oct 22, 2019 Melanie Page rated it it was ok

Shelves: sjcpl

Like many Goodread reviewers confess, I had never heard of E. Jean Carroll before picking up What Do We Need Men For? A Modest Proposal, but turns out she’s famous. She’s been a “somebody” in one fashion or another since college. Most famously, she is the advice columnist at Elle magazine and has been since 1993. In her feminist take on Jonathan Swift’s satire A Modest Proposal, Carroll produces the most straight-shooting yet lost-in-the-woods book I’ve ever read.

With a Prius full of organic bea Like many Goodread reviewers confess, I had never heard of E. Jean Carroll before picking up What Do We Need Men For? A Modest Proposal, but turns out she’s famous. She’s been a “somebody” in one fashion or another since college. Most famously, she is the advice columnist at Elle magazine and has been since 1993. In her feminist take on Jonathan Swift’s satire A Modest Proposal, Carroll produces the most straight-shooting yet lost-in-the-woods book I’ve ever read.

With a Prius full of organic beans and her dog, E. Jean Carroll sets out across America to ask women, “What Do We Need Men For?” This question is a trick, of this I am convinced. On the one hand, other people, animals, and technology can completely replace what men provide women. On the other hand, I would need to seek out an identical version of my husband, but as a woman. And where do trans and non-binary people fit into this? Because it’s a satire, you should never take Carroll’s book too seriously. Don’t get hung up on the question.

In fact, our advice columnist admits to sexually harassing men herself. She also has a list of men (including the wonderful writer Tom Robbins) who make the “honorary women” roster. She’s not actually crafting a theory and testing it, nor is she making a larger point that I can identify. Thus, my claim that this book is “lost in the woods,” so to speak. Between listing all her favorite motel beds that she’s slept on in her 75 years and the unidentifiable (to me) outfits she wore, my brain twirled around and wondered if I was a child in the grocery store whose mom had been right there just a moment ago.

Those outfits. Never in my life have I heard of the color “lava-gray.” It’s easy to feel like you’re swimming in a pile of unidentifiable clothing, including a “jaunty Korean driving cap, Stewart hunting-plaid kilt, and the giant grosgrain bows on [her] three-tone saddle shoes.” This is one outfit, but the way. And to put on a shirt and a Chinese wrap and a vest and a cheerleading sweater and something with fringe — I mean, I can’t even picture this abominable snowman she must have transferred herself into with all those layers. The clothes are ridiculous and largely unidentifiable to those who wear such dull numbers “shirts” and “pants.”

Then, Carroll describes what happened after she was raped in a department store very directly and proceeds to state the facts of what occurred to the best of her memory. It’s all so direct, with no gray areas or room for interpretation, that getting caught up in her favorite beds and silly outfits felt like a fake left as the writer threw right hook. Every so often, a story — of an attempted rape (there are a few), of a hand shoved up a skirt (there are a few), of a man later convicted as a serial killer who tried to enter Carroll’s house but her dog stopped him (happened just once, thankfully) — sneaks out of the basement, shouts its existence, and runs back down the stairs, slamming the door behind its reeking memory.

The result is a book that left me feeling in the middle. Sometimes I was befuddled, other times wanting to hear a more complete story of what happened that one time with the likes of Hunter S. Thompson or a famous actress. The stories of assault were scattered, but in many cases E. Jean Carroll explains that before writing the book (and she writes as if she’s directly talking to us, as if she’s calling up for a chat), she’d never told anyone what happened to her, so it’s understandable that this book was a process of sorts that was published as such.

Originally reviewed at Grab the Lapels. ...more

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Jun 25, 2019 Georgev rated it really liked it

Just began the journey and loving it.
This profile of the author set me off to buy the book.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2... ...more

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Mar 05, 2020 Elaine rated it really liked it · review of another edition

This book is more than just a fun read. E. Jean Carroll is witty and provocative. When she travels across the US interviewing women, they usually hesitate before answering the title question. One says she needs a man to take out the garbage, another says they are needed for sex, but overall the effect of these interviews is to give pause. Why do women believe they need men? One thing is clear, women need to step up to the plate and stop relying so heavily on men.

Some think we need men to protect ...more

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Jul 10, 2019 Lorri Steinbacher rated it liked it

If you like E. Jean Carroll's column and her style you will likely enjoy this book. She manages to convey the reality of the sexual harrassment, diminishment, and abuse that many (most?) women experience in their lifetime while at the same time showing how strong and vital women are. Carroll's style is breezy, sarcastic, a little off-center (which sometimes veers off into making no sense) but there is one line in there that broke my heart and added gravity to an otherwise "light" take [spoiler]S ...more

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Jan 05, 2020 Mary rated it really liked it

Shelves: biography, nonfiction, audio

A humorous look at some very upsetting experiences. (I think some reviewers are missing that this is in large part a humor-oriented book.) And I do always enjoy a fun road trip book! This book wasn't really for me; but as always, it's good to see things from some different perspectives.

And, as an old person who is tired of decades spent listening to rationalizations and putting up with shit: I am going to start screaming the next time I hear/see some self-righteous man saying an equivalent of " ...more

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Jul 07, 2019 Cassidy rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2019, memoir

residue from the back cover of this book has embedded itself lightly in my fingerprints due to the resulting hand sweat of reading this so prolongedly in the sun. it’s as good a metaphor as any i could have thought up for what it’s like finishing this book. and i mean that in a good sort of way. or in a “gut and soul -wrenching, speaks to my heart” sort of way. i can’t quite decide how to name it. but i do know i will be talking about e. jean carroll for a long long time.

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Jul 13, 2019 Lori rated it it was amazing

Okay, bear with me, I'm new to writing reviews. I read a couple books a week but rarely take the time to write a review. THIS BOOK IS INCREDIBLE! I laughed so hard at times and cried at others and all the while felt my own demons losing power. WOW! I've sent copies to the women in my life most in need of personal strength (E. Jean has that in spades). Read this book, you will love it and you will feel better and then let's all take a road trip together. GIRL POWER!!! ...more

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Jul 28, 2019 Laura rated it really liked it

E. Jean is hilarious and I love her because she loves all women unconditionally. The horrific and criminal act perpetrated on her by the current occupant of the White House is a minor episode in this book so don't let that dissuade you from reading it. Her modest proposal is sublime. Terrific summer read, funny and you'll love Lewis Carroll! ...more

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May 08, 2020 Jess rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-nf

Part memoir, part satire (I think?), part epic cross country truth-seeking road trip - E. Jean Caroll takes a hard look at whether men being "in charge" benefits the U.S. or serves as a detriment. Given who is currently in charge I think you can guess what side of the line she comes down on.

The audio book is also narrated by E. Jean which was a real comedic treat! ...more

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Jul 14, 2019 Campbell rated it really liked it

Former Miss Indiana University, Miss Cheerleader USA, Elle columnist, TV host and SNL writer, current national treasure E. Jean Carroll races around the country in a pimped-out prius named Miss Bingley with her standard poodle asking women why we need men, what else do you need to know.

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Jul 18, 2019 Frances rated it really liked it

The author's whimsical effervescence prevails even while she covers a lifetime of misuse at the hands of men. Her stories are remarkable in that they are NOT unique. We should all be as courageous and irrepressible. ...more

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May 14, 2020 Lakshmi rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: non-fiction

TW: sexual assault, domestic violence

This is the HIRE MORE WOMEN PRISON GUARDS tweet in book form. Once you get used to the cutesy style, you have to deal with the liberal american feminism. I don't know why I kept reading after she defended Al Franken, shared a bewilderingly racist anecdote about Papua New Guinea, and called her black husband an ape (who then physically assaulted and tried to strangle her horrifyingly), but I made it to the end somehow to tell you that this could have been a lo ...more

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Nov 01, 2020 Phyllis Goode rated it liked it

3.5 stars! It’s funny

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Oct 30, 2019 Janet Savill rated it really liked it

The #metoo shitstorm has influenced my reading in several stages: pain (all the reporting/revelations/allegations since 2016) moved into anger (Good & Mad by Rebecca Traister), which opened up to calls for action (Invisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez) and I finally landed at satire with this book. What a relief, we can laugh again.

And I did laugh because this septuagenarian took to the road with her dog, Lewis Carroll, to ask women a simple question inspired by Jonathan Swift. This is a roa ...more

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Jul 28, 2019 Kirsten Hessler rated it it was ok

"The ten-thousand–year-old damsel-in-distress story is dead. Bad things still happen to women, yes; but women are no longer damsels. Women are sweaty. Women are scalding. Women are strong. Women are tender. Women are fierce. Women are fighters!"

E. Jean is a force of nature, a woman who has endured countless harassments and assaults over the decades but maintained her laughter, conversationalism, and habit of calling other women (strangers) things like "Magnificent! Spectacular! Super duper!" Imm ...more

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Jul 21, 2019 Koen rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: politics-sociology, memoir

I realize i'm not quite the target audience for this book.

This is a light reading, somewhat frivolous read. There's no definitive conclusion to the question posed in the title. It's a little bit funny at times but i guess i might have missed quite a bit as i don't get a lot of the references.

Still, it was kinda entertaining and a quick enough read for me to see it all through. Despite me being white male from Europe, hardly the audience the author would have had in mind. :-) ...more

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Aug 05, 2019 Moira rated it liked it

I picked up this book after listening to a podcast featuring the author (With Friends Like These). I’ve never, to the best of my knowledge, read the authors column in ELLE, so I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I equally laughed, clutched my pearls and wanted to rage while reading this book. The concept is interesting but some of the details were incredibly difficult to read. TBH I’m not sure how to rate this book, it jumps around quite a bit and breaks my heart as often as I chuckle.

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Aug 04, 2019 Cary Zahaby rated it it was amazing

This is a funny, rolicking, sharp account of a road trip across America interwoven with memories of the author's very many sexual assaults throughout her life. Despite the tough content, it is funny, inspirational, spirited, and hopeful. I fell in love with her. ...more

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Aug 08, 2019 Nicole rated it it was amazing

I love her wit. A very good read and sad, but in a comical way, or tragic. Depends on how sensible you are to women's issues. I think I am all for her plan. Let women lead, men go to camp. ...more

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Dec 29, 2020 Duckoffimreading rated it really liked it

I underestimated this book. E. Jean Carroll does a hilarious job not only recounting her own dumpster fire experiences with the opposite sex (Donald Trump included), but she drives around the country asking women what we actually need men for. As you can imagine, Carroll's opinion may be a bit biased and outside of some of the more rural women who believe men are the true leaders and women are here to serve them (ick), most women had very weak platforms for needing men: taking trash out, compani ...more

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Jan 16, 2021 Bettie marked it as wish-list

The Dworkin Account: Scott speaks with E. Jean Carroll, whose Elle Magazine column “Ask E. Jean” is the longest-running magazine column in America. She told us about the events in her new book “What do we need men for? A modest proposal” without any limits or boundaries, and recounted the details of two terrible encounters with powerful men, including a real estate developer who would go on to leave the Democratic Party and run for president, Donald J. Trump. This unfiltered, barely edited forty ...more

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Dec 07, 2019 Andrea rated it really liked it

Shelves: audio, memoir-2019

E. Jean Carroll is like your eccentric aunt, or your mom's single friend. When I started the audio, it was A LOT. "Ladies!! What do we need men for?" And then lists, so many lists!

But ultimately there is a method to her madness. As she goes on a road trip state to state staying in Hardwick Inns in towns named after women, she has a simple question: What do we need men for? Some women say, "to take out the trash" and some say, "we don't". And interspersed with that is a list of Most Hideous Men, ...more

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