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That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together
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That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together

4.05  ·  Rating details ·  772 ratings  ·  118 reviews
First things first: There will be no man shaming inThat’s What She Said.A recent Harvard study found that corporate “diversity training” has actuallymade the gender gap worse—in part because it makes men feel demonized.Women, meanwhile, have been told closing the gender gap is up to them: they need to speak up, to be more confident, to demand to be paid what they’re worth. ...more
Hardcover, 320 pages
Published January 30th 2018 by William Morrow
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Average rating 4.05  · 
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 ·  772 ratings  ·  118 reviews

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Feb 28, 2018 rated it really liked it
Wish there were more clear cut solutions. This is a great read and I’d encourage everyone, but particularly fellow males, to read it deeply and become an ally.
Sebastian Wocial
Jun 17, 2018 rated it it was amazing
"I'm glad we've begun to raise our daughters more like our sons, but it will never work until we raise our sons more like our daughters." ~ Gloria Steinem

I wouldn't recommend as much as implore you to read this book. Part of solving any problem starts with awareness, even those as staggering as continuing gender inequality. Considering society's male-centric structures and widespread unconscious biases, significant progress still must be made. Lipman has created a brilliant piece of work
Aug 06, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: on-kindle
(4.0) Worth a lot more people reading and discussing.

There's a lot of statement of the problem in this book, and I was a little worried that she wouldn't eventually get to the chapter on what to do about it. She's got a lot of things that we can do as individuals to help women in their careers. Kind of the other side of Lean In if you will. A lot of them are what we should already be working on: stopping interruptions, attributing ideas to the original speaker, encouraging more equal
I like this book. I would probably recommend it as a primer on the research and perspective on the topic of women and work, though I have some quibbles, it's generally a good recap of the studies and approaches.

I was hoping to get more about "what men need to know" and how to engage men in ways that don't make them feel "guilty" or "beaten by a 2X4". I didn't feel there was much explicit advice on that front, besides 'the goals of diversity align with the goals of existing metrics of profit and
Mar 14, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: business
I was more informed by reading this book. The examples and easy journalistic style seems common in business life books today. Much of what Lipman says is applicable to any class of workers who are not alpha-males; e.g. older workers, minorities, etc. She seems very focused on driven females who have expensive educations, college debt and live in high-cost of living cities.

My takeaways are to be more cognizant when I may be interrupting others and building up those who may be timid or humble.
Apr 17, 2018 rated it really liked it
Probably more useful than “lean in” but still errs somewhat on the depressing details chapter after chapter on just how tough the realty for any woman daring to leave the home for the work place. A few good tips and interesting success stories of companies / business schools making a difference. Yes definitely women won’t make a difference on their own, they need male allies, supporters and sponsors.
Paula Fahey
Aug 26, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I am that one person who didn’t really love the book “Lean In”, so I thought I might feel the same, here. However, this book was much better for me. I agree that there is still a long way to go for all of us, but I like that this book doesn’t look for places to place the blame. Men aren’t the enemy and women don’t have to change...we need to work together to evolve some very hard-wired perceptions. We all need to challenge ourselves to open our minds, a bit, to how we value certain traits and ...more
Mar 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
great. everybody read. I found the advice valuable and not vilifying or preachy.
May 16, 2018 rated it liked it
2.5 stars? I'm conflicted. It was 3 or 4-star valuable to me, but stars are "likes" and I didn't, like reading the first half of this book.

I was hoping for a stronger rooting in science: studies, graphs, trends, with proven-effective steps everyone can take to make a difference. This book felt more like the results of reading business publications, a year of searching the web, and the author’s experiences as a successful career woman and mother. Having no footnotes in the text,
Jul 21, 2018 rated it really liked it
Probably everyone should read this book. In the beginning I wasn't sold but I came around. It features really interesting research and also anecdotes. I didn't know about so many things I'd have thought I'd have heard of, for ex, Iceland post financial crisis. Wow Iceland! It was interesting to read about problems, agree with potential solutions, then read about what actually ended up happening when those solutions were tried. There's common sense abound but still a useful read for people who ...more
Katie Lo
Nov 04, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Highly recommend this book! Gender equality isn’t scary, complicated, or out to shame men. We just need to re-think how we look at and treat each other. Joanne Lipman shares lessons learned through interesting anecdotes from all sorts of workplaces and cultures, which makes her message relatable and clear. I urge everyone to read this book, whether you are a fisherman or a financier, regardless of your gender.
Tomy Wilkerson
Definitely need to read this book again and to read it in hardcopy. What I will say though is that what I appreciated most about this book was it was what the subtitle claims to be. Rather than an insider conversation amongst women, it's an accessible book for men to look at women's issues. Lipman doesn't try to cast blame or make men seem like the enemy. She tells the truth, mentions what's complicated about some of the efforts to circumvent bias, but also offers solutions so that we (men) ...more
Apr 03, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction-read
Well this made me equal parts furious and motivated. I was definitely inspired to be a woman boss at work yesterday after finishing reading this book & I did three things in one day I wouldn't otherwise have done. So reading this was probably a success.
Apr 26, 2018 rated it it was ok
Shelves: workworkwork
So I had really high hopes for this book. There's such a need for real conversation & depth of anlaysis on gender bias in workplace, hiring processes, and building institutional competencies in these regards.

Unfortunately, this book felt like a retread of other similar books, both in scope and analysis. I don't disagree with most anything in this book. I just was hoping for greater depth in the arguments. There are a lot of assumptions based on slim evidence (or at least slimly presented). I
Cyndie Courtney
I feel like this book was trying to do two things: 1) Teach men what they need to know to be a good ally to women - the facts behind sexism and potentially effective strategies behind fighting it if they're willing, 2) Talk to women about effective and ineffective ways to talk to men to get them to be allies. Frankly I think in trying to do both it ended up being kind of confusing and not as effective as it could have been at either.

If you are a woman looking to read this book - be forewarned
Douglas Ulrich
Jun 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I picked this booked up originally because in my day-to-day I don’t work with many women and I wanted a refresher on the differences in communications styles so that any interactions I do have will be that much more productive for all involved.

I have found this book to be a great eye-opener for the current status of male/female equality in the workplace. Especially in my field, where there is a definite overload on the side of male input, this books makes me yearn for more women to work with
Jun 25, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you are a working woman, many of the examples in this book will sound familiar. Even if you haven't experienced them, you likely know someone who has.

I liked the emphasis that gender equality will only happen if we all work together, however it's still frustrating to know that getting everyone on board is work in and of itself.

The biggest take away I got from this read was to advocate for myself as I would for a female co-worker. But there are other concrete ideas too-- shut down interrupting
Nov 29, 2018 rated it it was ok
Read this for a bookclub at work. Great discussions, but the book is just OK. Very anecdotal.
Lee Tyner
Apr 27, 2019 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
VERY Good, But....

It’s the best Diversity / Gap book I’ve read to date. It appropriately acknowledges the failure of previous attempts that have made things worse. It also offers suggestions that work quite well such as simply telling someone “Hey, that’s not cool.” However, it ignores other competing data such as those presented in “Why Men Earn More.” In fact, her data has some of the exact faults presented in that book, nor does it respond to meta analysis studies (by female economists) that
Manasvi Karanam

This is a good book for anyone in general (but specifically to men) who want to know how gender bias plays out at a workplace. Each chapter of the book deals with a specific issue ranging from pay raise to unconscious bias and the author tries to illustrate the problem with good examples which are backed up with excellent statistics and data. The problems can be attributed to any male-centric workforce in general (definitely relevant to the tech industry which I belong to).

I could relate
Apr 11, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audio, 2018
I've been spending the last several months reading about gender inequality, what women and men can do to bridge the gap, and where these issues stem from.

No book is perfect, and what I have found is that often in the negative reviews there is criticism that the author should have could have gone deeper on a topic that the specific reader saw as more significant. I also constantly see a dismissal of the author via comments that said write must be, is or has been privileged, and thus cannot
Annalisa Ely
Dec 31, 2019 rated it it was amazing
This feminist work is very gentle towards men and is optimal for gifting to men with sensitive feelings about being called out for their sexist behavior.
In all seriousness, this book is statistics heavy while also being very accessible, and I recommend it to anyone who hasn't read much feminist theory or isn't convinced that sexism still exists, or anyone who would like statistics to back up what they already know. It focuses heavily on bringing men into the discussion and and fight for
Jul 22, 2019 rated it really liked it
This is a very uncomfortable book. I found myself nearly weeping as I read the information carefully gathered and organized by Lipman, statistics on women being interrupted by men, women being disrespected by men, women earning less than men for doing the same job, women being dismissed by men, women not being considered for promotion who were better qualified than men (and more) . . . and just when things start getting better, when there are movements made toward greater gender equality, Trump ...more
Mar 23, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Fascinating and illuminating book that EVERYONE, regardless of gender, industry or profession should read. While I found myself nodding in agreement frequently and occasionally shaking my head at some of the scenarios described, I also learned a lot about our unconscious biases and how challenging it is to create a truly "blind" hiring process. This is definitely NOT a male-bashing or shaming book. Rather, it's a very candid look at our work culture and how we got here. I was especially ...more
Jun 15, 2019 rated it liked it
This book covers a lot of the same ground as other books I've read like Lean In and Brotopia, but attacks it more from an angle about the need for more male advocacy and a rooting out of unconscious bias. It is a huge problem when a majority of people in a survey literally thought humanity would invent time travel before half the fortune 500 companies were run by women.

Resolving some of these issues is very difficult as Lipman brings up, noting how bias training has been shown to sometimes
Feb 18, 2018 rated it really liked it
Compared to the previous and older book I read about feminism and gender equality (Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate), Lipman is respectful to both genders without playing the blame game. It's comforting for me to know that we've made some progress since then in addressing gender in modern society. Most examples she cites are from a North American perspective, but a mix of other countries are included too. Hope you like the section about Iceland as much as I did.

Lipman talks
Guthrie C.
This is a practical business book like no other, which is both excellent and engaging while being practical. The book combines the author’s interesting life experiences, scientific research, and the illustrative stories of others across the globe to help men and women better understand the blockers our society creates and nurtures that prevent true gender equality at work and home. The author not only challenges the status quo but also directly challenges the reader to truly understand the huge ...more
May 06, 2018 rated it liked it
Read for a work book club. This was more satisfying than the last sort of book I read that falls in the "women at work" camp, Lean In, which was so narrowly focused on wealthy women getting ahead at work. This one is supposed to be targeted at men, and so at times was frustrating for me to read -- there's a lot in here that I know, and a lot of "women can't do this, but they can't do this either to fix that first thing" that made me want to scream. I'm not sure this will be approachable to men ...more
May 25, 2018 rated it liked it
This book read like an extremely long Wall St Journal article, which is no surprise since Lipman worked there and at many other publications in her career. It’s well-written and researched. Heavy on statistics and the bibliography is 20 pages long. Lots of references. This was more like a term paper than an easy read. Having spent my entire career being “invisible” and constantly dissed and interrupted, with older white males taking credit for my hard work, I kept saying “Yeah, I already know ...more
Mar 28, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Really great book and one that I will recommend to all the men in my life. Its a great TRUE feminist book. I say true because the term feminist still has a negative stigma that all feminist are shaved head men haters that want the world to be dominated by only women. Which is the farthest thing from the truth.

The book offered a postive outlook towards gender equality. As well as solutions to issues facing gender equality that will not solve the issue right away but polietly changes the old
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Joanne Lipman, one of the nation's most prominent journalists, is author of the bestseller THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) About Working Together. She until recently was Chief Content Officer of Gannett and Editor-in-Chief of USA TODAY and the USA TODAY NETWORK, comprising the flagship publication plus 109 local newspapers including the Detroit Free Press, ...more
“Thomas-Hunt’s research had shown that if we believe everybody is biased, we will be too. But the research also demonstrated the reverse: if we believe that everyone around us is trying hard to fight against those stereotypes and prejudices, we’ll do the same. Call it peer pressure, or call it a pack mentality. Whatever it is, it works. Our own biases disappear.” 1 likes
“A bigger hurdle, once we drill down into it, is the basic assumption that underlies the pipeline theory: that we are fair in the first place.” 1 likes
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