Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “My Life Without Garlic (The Vamp for Me #1)” as Want to Read:
My Life Without Garlic (The Vamp for Me #1)
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

My Life Without Garlic

(The Vamp for Me #1)

3.50  ·  Rating details ·  242 ratings  ·  51 reviews
Some things in life just might be worth giving up garlic for.

It was simple curiosity that led Augustin to the vampire dating site—he thought it must be a joke started up by a bunch of weirdos. Man, was he right—but it just so happens that those weirdos really are vampires, and when one shows up at his place, Augustin’s world is turned upside down.

First he’s got a psychotic
ebook, 1 edition, 105 pages
Published May 15th 2015 by Totally Bound
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about My Life Without Garlic, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about My Life Without Garlic

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
Average rating 3.50  · 
Rating details
 ·  242 ratings  ·  51 reviews

Sort order
Start your review of My Life Without Garlic (The Vamp for Me #1)
3.5 Stars

I needed some guaranteed fluffy fun and Bradford has always managed to entertain me in the past, so I figured with a campy title such as this how could I go wrong!? Although the reactions to this book have ranged from silly but fun to a handful of DNF ratings, I didn't doubt for a second that my own sentiments would be more like the former than the latter, and I wasn't wrong.

I'll admit that I found the whole thing ridiculous, but utterly entertaining. I could practically feel how much
Jun 10, 2016 rated it it was ok
For those of you interested - freebie at right now:
Eh it was fine. It was funny but the plot is barely a thing. The characters are likable enough. I wish it felt more resolved. It ends too suddenly for me.
Jenni Lea

3.5 stars

This was stupid and silly and ridiculous and just plain ole fun.

Thank you for the brain candy, Secret Santa!
Eva Millien
Jun 15, 2015 rated it really liked it
Boredom caused Augustine to do something he thought was silly only it turns out there was something to it after all and now he knows that vampires exist and he’ll have to decide if Tony is worth giving up garlic for in this delightful vampire romance. I have to say that I was delightfully surprised with the snarky dialogue and the fun atmosphere of this romance, Bailey Bradford has mixed some traditional with some unique elements and created a very entertaining world that promises to be ...more
I have discovered you CAN have too much 'snark' written for a character. I don't remember the last time I disliked a character so much and felt he was so mismatched to the other mc, who was so much more deserving. I could barely finish, although it got a little better towards the end.
Yeah, you got it. I picked this book because of the title. Honestly, how could I resist? Well, that and it's Bailey, people. I knew I'd be in for a fun story that would make me laugh, and that's so what I needed. Plus, the description of Augustin in the beginning made me smile, and the way he couldn't help himself when trying to get the online dating site to accept his application, for AN HOUR, reminded me of how incredibly anal retentive I can be. It was a good beginning.

“What’s your name?”
This book was tracking toward 4 stars until the abrupt ending. Excuse me, but where's the rest? Where's the part where we see Tony and Augustin cement the bond? Don't give me a vampire novel without biting. I was waiting for that, especially since we know from the prologue that Augustin and Tony did create that bond.

I liked this quite a bit (until the ending), with Augustin's snark and sarcasm taking front and center, and Tony's vampy friends bringing up the rear.

A fun read, definitely, and
Rachel Emily
May 17, 2015 rated it liked it
There were some very funny lines in this, I loved the humor and banter between Augustin and Tony in this. I will say that I kept forgetting that Tony was the vampire and Augustin was the human haha just because of their names. I feel like the ending was just abrupt…like, it just ended. And I didn't get a feeling that it was LOVE by the end of the story. I'll be interested in reading the next book, if it continues with the same characters, or we get new ones.
As with many of Bailey Bradford's books, this is a good read. Unlike "Something Shattered", it isn't confronting, but what took it to five stars for me was the sense of humor. I was laughing most of the way through the book.

Definitely worth getting.
Valerie ❈M/M Romance Junkie❈
No rating since I didn't make it beyond 24%
May 06, 2019 rated it it was ok
Although there were some parts that made me cackle, the characters are not believable. The main character is too mean and snarky. He makes grumpy Squidward Tentacles look like a member of Weenie Hut Jr. The other guy is completely flat. And there is no believable relationship that the text says that there is. They have made no connection other than shared forced cohabitation with sex for one day. That might be a poorer love story than Romeo and Juliet.
May 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Heart Rating: 5 Hearts

From the start Augustin pulled me into the story and I could really connect with him. He is not perfect, far from it. He knows it and accepts it. But that doesn't mean he lets others put him down. He gives as good as he gets, and damn does his mouth get him in trouble.

It all starts when Augustin gets bored and while surfing the net he discovers a vampire dating site. Curiosity gets the better of him and he keeps trying to create a profile, only it doesn’t work. Little does
Joyfully Jay
Jun 22, 2015 rated it really liked it
Shelves: jason
A Joyfully Jay review.

4 stars

The title is was sold me on this book. I mean My Life Without Garlic? How cute! Now Augustin was a strange, neurotic man who could easily have been annoying, but never hit that point as far as I am concerned, although he came close a few times. Tony was a fun vampire, except I never quite understood his insta-love with Augustin. It just felt off in context with the rest of the story.

Bradford did a fabulous job with the secondary characters, at least in terms of
May 18, 2015 rated it it was amazing
I chose to read My Life Without Garlic mostly for the title, but also because paranormals are my favorite type of read. Bailey Bradford did not disappoint at all! Augustin is a great mix of snarky, spunky, not thin, and yet hopeful. He and I share a love of garlic and pasta, so it was easy to bond with him. Tony, as the next head of the vampire coven, admits he is not the sharpest tool in the shed, so neither MC is story-book perfect. That just makes them perfect for each other. This was a LOL ...more
Kelly H. (Maybedog)
3.5 stars

He googled vampire porn? I love this guy.

No, he was funny at first but his attitude and snark and anger are getting annoying. It's not getting him anywhere.

I love that he's overweight with the health complications that go along with that, not just some slightly plump guy. and "too close to middle age."

Why don't the humans adjust to the vampires' schedule?

Good for him not caring about the insults.

Too much sex.
Julie scott
Jun 17, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
My Life Without Garlic (The Vamp for Me)

This was pretty good I Liked it .I can't wait for more from Bailey Bradford hope it's soon..I will be looking forward to it..
Jun 03, 2015 rated it liked it
Shelves: 05-2015

cute and funny read.

This series is so far flung from the usual dark, brooding, sultry vampire stories. It’s practically continent away. “My Life Without Garlic” is a hilarious rendition of vampiric tropes. Even the sire and spawn dynamics were not the usual hierarchical with the coven leader held the absolute power over all his subject. But then again, with that title I kinda expect the story would be something fun, I just didn’t expect I’d enjoy it like I did!

This book is the first entry to Bailey Bradford’s “The
Jes Jester
Jan 15, 2019 rated it really liked it
For a short read, it was surprisingly complete within its own story, yet sets up the possibility of a series. My only criticism was not having enough focus on the Vamp himself, and keeping it too far on the human character (and his excessive insecurities and anger). I was more interested in the Vamp tradition in this world, and how (and why) humanity seemed to know about them. A few more pages would have answered my questions and maybe brought more insight into the Vamp's mind and history.
I loved this. It seriously has everything I was looking for in a paranormal/fantasy story.
-Comedy like TJ Klune and Alice Winters
-A lead MC that's not a supermodel with washboard abs (rather a little bit of a tummy and a Kardashian booty).
-The acknowledgment that "fated mates" isn't a real thing, but love at first sight may very well be.
-Sexy times and vampire jokes.
-Oh and more snark.
All wrapped up with a hair of angst and then a HEA. Highly recommended.
To begin with the "book" is just a series of graphic sex scenes connected by a few conversations and some temper tantrums. It woud incredibly generous to say there was a plot: man meets vampire, they bang continuously, man goes home, vampire is lonely, they meet, they bang more, that's it. SO if you're looking for jack off material, this is for you, but if you want a story, character development, plot, action literally anything other than sex, keep looking.
Jan 14, 2020 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Enjoyable read

Before I got this book, I read some previous reviews and then I became skeptical but decided to give it a try anyway. Yes there is a good amount of sex but it's hot so why are people complaining about it? I feel for the length of the book the story was flushed out just fine. Anymore characters/elements and it would have felt forced. Very little to no editing issues. Characters were likeable. All in all, a good read!
This book was okay, but nothing to get excited about. I thought it was over the top at times. At first thought Tony was an idiot but then again so was Augustin.
I did laugh a couple times especially with the mouthwash comments. I like sex in unusual places and against a window was a nice touch.
Jan 13, 2019 rated it liked it
Augustin, the human, was hilarious to me at times, then there were those moments when he really annoyed me. It's a cute vampire story with quite a bit of back and forth banter, but it's a fun take on vampires. :) I did find it enjoyable.
Mar 18, 2019 rated it really liked it
Was this great literature? Hell, No! Was this fun? Hell, Yes!
Jan 21, 2019 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: mm, vampire, 2019
I cannot find the words for this. I cannot even ...
Let's just call it not my cup of tea and leave it at that. The most polite I can come up with.
Love Bytes Reviews
Jun 21, 2015 rated it really liked it
4 Heart Review by Tammy

Augustin Carmichael is a single, lonely and slightly overweight man looking for a date. It’s as Augustin is surfing the net whilst he’s eating his guilt free, extra garlicy spaghetti marinara that he finds under ‘Odd News’ a vampire dating site! For a laugh he decides to sign up for it but his application won’t go through so he gives it up as a bad joke. When he begins to get incredibly frustrated by the whole thing he shuts down his laptop and heads to bed. Unfortunately
Angela Goodrich
Is it wrong that I had no idea whatsoever that Ms. Bradford could write comedy? I’m not talking about a humorous scene here or a funny line there, but a full-fledged comedy. I laughed my butt off while reading My Life Without Garlic and I can only hope that with as snarky as the author made Augustin that that was her intent because that’s what made it a 5-star read for me.

As far as vampire stories go, the idea of a “fake” vampire dating site established by vampires to weed out the crazies was
Tara Mcmillan
Nov 07, 2015 rated it really liked it
This was a bit of a letdown compared to other works by this author. Comparing this to just her other works, I would make this a 3 out of 5. Right from chapter one this book was a complete disappointment and I had to force myself to get at least halfway through. At least there I was immersed enough to quit caring about the details and just read to get to the end and get it over with already.

My major gripe was that I couldn't get a picture of the characters in my mind. I had general body type and
« previous 1 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Readers also enjoyed

  • My Partner the Wolf (Shifters and Partners #1)
  • Cronin's Key II (Cronin's Key, #2)
  • Something Borrowed (Fake It till You Make It #1)
  • Acceptance of the Egoist (Egoist #1.5)
  • One Man's Trash (The Heretic Doms Club, #1)
  • Upside Down
  • The Vampire's Werewolf Bodyguard
  • A Crown of Iron & Silver (Soulbound #3)
  • The Good Game: Gay MM and Bad Boy Romance Novel
  • Lima Oscar Victor Echo and The Truth About Everything
  • Kel's Keeper
  • More Than Christmas (Michigan Seasons #1)
  • Just a Bit Gay (Straight Guys #9)
  • Love of the Egoist (Egoist #1)
  • Why Love Matters
  • Buzz (The Riley Brothers, #1)
  • Finding Finn (Wolf's Mate, #1)
  • Rent-a-Boyfriend (The Glendale Boys, #2)
See similar books…
A few things about me...

I am a married mom of four who spends most of the day writing, either on stories or at the blog. I love to write as much as I love to read. I am generally quiet and laid back, choosing to let things slide off me rather than stick and irritate me.

And it's really hard trying to think of descriptives for myself, so I'll just let y'all e-mail me or comment at the blog if

Other books in the series

The Vamp for Me (6 books)
  • Don’t Stake My Life on It (The Vamp for Me #2)
  • Sunshine is Overrated (The Vamp for Me #3)
  • Don't Drink the Holy Water (The Vamp for Me #4)
  • The Trouble with Mirrors (The Vamp For Me, #5)
  • That's One Cross Vamp (The Vamp For Me, #6)