Stephen’s review of Twilight (Twilight, #1) > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie ooooh....please review it....please, please, please :)


message 2: by Stephen (new)

Stephen I just launched it!!!


message 3: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Stephen wrote: "I just launched it!!!"

yay!


message 4: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brian wrote: "45 points... not bad! You left out all the financial stuff, though."

That was intentional Brian. Your review was so thorough and insightful regarding the socio-political-economic underpinnings of the Twilight narrative that I decided I would only address in my review the surface literary merits and narrative focus of this soon to be classic 21st century masterpiece.


message 5: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie 1. I would stunned for several seconds and then bitch slap them hard across the face for asking me such a dumb shit question, screaming that vampires DO NOT sparkle, wear hair gel or play baseball....EVER!!!

AND.....

2. ** An apology to my two beautiful daughters for telling them that mommy "had problems" for loving these books.

Were my favorite parts.


message 6: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brian wrote: "45 points... not bad! You left out all the financial stuff, though."

By the way, Brian. I don't think I told you when you did your amazing review of Twilight how stupid I felt for missing the clever financial subtext of Meyer's work. Admittedly, I was looking for it the second time around and it hit me right between the eyes.


message 7: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brian wrote: "Aw, thanks Stephen!"

No, THANK YOU. It is this kind of brilliant subtext that has me re-reading all of those Nancy Drew mysteries looking for the key to "zero point" energy.....so far nothing but I am only halfway through the catalog.


message 8: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brian wrote: "Well, I think it's like one of those computer 3-D pictures that were so popular in the late 90's (do you know the ones I mean?). If you happen look at it the right way, if jumps out at you; otherwise it just sits there, hidden in plain view. I'm sure Meyer will be invited to the next G7 meeting or other high-power economic forum to help world leaders figure things out. "

I don't know how to say this without coming across as creepy, but I would like to take a few weeks off from my practice and just follow you around taking notes. I am missing so much from the books that I read that I really need to figure out what I am doing wrong.


Kwesi 章英狮 I'm trying not to laugh. Hikhik.


message 10: by Kat (new)

Kat I laughed out loud while reading this...


message 11: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Ha! If I were to score myself on this test, I would definitely have an outcome that would tell me never to read Twilight. Since I've already read it, it's too late. And somehow I rated it 3 stars, which according to goodreads means I liked it. I assure you, I did not. 3 stars for me meant it was okay, and I think at the time I was being forgiving and generous. I suspect if I tried to pick up Twilight for a second read, I wouldn't make it very far.


message 12: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brenda wrote: "Ha! If I were to score myself on this test, I would definitely have an outcome that would tell me never to read Twilight. Since I've already read it, it's too late. And somehow I rated it 3 star..."

I would suspect there are many others who feel the same way.


message 13: by Trudi (new)

Trudi Too funny for words :) :) ...although I do have a soft spot for anyone who smells like the beach!


message 14: by Jenne (new)

Jenne Love the review! I only read Twilight to find out what all the hype was about. It was ok, but didn't blow me away. However as a librarian, I have to praise Meyer for getting so many teens (and adults!) reading.


message 15: by Stephanie (new)

Stephanie Jenne wrote: "Love the review! I only read Twilight to find out what all the hype was about. It was ok, but didn't blow me away. However as a librarian, I have to praise Meyer for getting so many teens (and ad..."

Oh I agree.....but they are reading really bad writing, so I'm not sure if it's a plus.


message 16: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Brian wrote: "You are too modest about your own talents, but I agree we should hang out together sometime- it seems like every few years I end up going to a conference or convention in LV, so I'm sure it will ha..."

Sounds good...let me know the next time you are coming out this way. Beers are on me.


message 17: by mark (new)

mark monday hilarious!


message 18: by Stephen (new)

Stephen mark wrote: "hilarious!"

Thank you kind sir.


message 19: by Gary (new)

Gary Up to your usual high standard of review Stephen - funny and true to a degree that leaves me speechless and reaching for the red wine to celebrate another classic review from your (I am sure) fair hand...


message 20: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Gary wrote: "Up to your usual high standard of review Stephen - funny and true to a degree that leaves me speechless and reaching for the red wine to celebrate another classic review from your (I am sure) fair ..."

Thank you, Gary...much appreciated.


message 21: by Lamia (new)

Lamia My god... I can't breathe. And I just woke up the entire building with my cackling, I think.


message 22: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Lamia wrote: "My god... I can't breathe. And I just woke up the entire building with my cackling, I think."

Thank you, Lamia. I am very glad you enjoyed it.


message 23: by Milo (new)

Milo Ok, despite twilight being such a terrible book I must say it has some of the best reviews. That was genius! I loved the review.


message 24: by Limonessa (new)

Limonessa Hilarious. Great review. AND I liked the books. :-)


message 25: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Milo wrote: "Ok, despite twilight being such a terrible book I must say it has some of the best reviews. That was genius! I loved the review."

Thanks, Milo. I had fun putting it together.


message 26: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Lisa wrote: "Hilarious. Great review. AND I liked the books. :-)"

Lisa, I am very glad you enjoyed the review. I was certainly trying to have fun with it and am glad it didn't rub you the wrong way as a fan of the book.


message 27: by Nancy (new)

Nancy I'm a little ashamed to admit I have a copy laying around somewhere that I picked up for 50 cents at a library sale. If I read it and end up liking it, will my friends still want to associate with me? LOL!


message 28: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Nancy wrote: "I'm a little ashamed to admit I have a copy laying around somewhere that I picked up for 50 cents at a library sale. If I read it and end up liking it, will my friends still want to associate with..."

Of course we would, though some of your "friends" might be inclined to organize an "intervention" for you, but that is only because we care. Heck, I have long struggled with my "Star Trek" books and still find myself picking one up occassionally (and....gulp...liking them) so I would have to vacate my rather glassy house before I picked up a judgmental stone to throw.


message 29: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Barbara Hambly wrote Star Trek novels and she has a PhD. Therefore they must be intellectually meritorious.


message 30: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Miriam wrote: "Barbara Hambly wrote Star Trek novels and she has a PhD. Therefore they must be intellectually meritorious."

Thank you, Miriam. That makes me feel better. There are actually quite a few of the Star Trek books written by good authors (James Blish, Peter David, Joe Haldeman, Greg Bear, etc..). Of course, that is probably only 5 to 10% of the total so there is quite a bit of cheese to go around.


message 31: by Miriam (new)

Miriam Pshaw. You're a smart guy, what's an IQ point here or there, anyway?


message 32: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Miriam wrote: "Pshaw. You're a smart guy, what's an IQ point here or there, anyway?"

Those IQ points can really start to go down once you factor in the one's I lose from alcohol consumption.


message 33: by Miriam (new)

Miriam When you put it that way, I doubt the Star Trek novels are significant factor.


message 34: by rameau (new)

rameau E. ARE YOU FUCKING PSYCHO? Not only would I rather die but I would personally hogtie my best friends and leave them for the creatures to munch on while I made good my escape. 20 points

Never thought about it this far, but I would definitely do this. Thanks for the suggestion. And for the laughs.


message 35: by Jana (new)

Jana another wonderful review! thank you.


message 36: by Joseph (new)

Joseph Superb!


message 37: by ivana18 (new)

ivana18 ROFLMAO!!!!
I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading brilliantly written "bad" reviews for this book, especially if they are funny....and you really know how to write a funny review.
I liked the "Twilight" saga but I'm not delusional enough to think that it's even remotely close to being the next great American novel. I didn't have an opportunity to read YA fiction when I was a teen so I indulged and I had fun reading it, and that's pretty much it.

Great review Stephen, simply brilliant.


message 38: by Stephen (new)

Stephen ivana wrote: "ROFLMAO!!!!
I can't tell you how much I enjoy reading brilliantly written "bad" reviews for this book, especially if they are funny....and you really know how to write a funny review.
I liked the ..."


Thanks, Ivana. I am glad you liked it. It was certainly done with tongue planted firmly in cheek.


message 39: by Renee (new)

Renee I liked the book as a one time read castoff but your comments were too much, in a good way. Too funny! LMAO!


message 40: by Tammy (new)

Tammy Stephen, I haven't had time to say this in a while but I LOVE LOVE LOVE you and your Freaktastic Reviews!


message 41: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Tammy wrote: "Stephen, I haven't had time to say this in a while but I LOVE LOVE LOVE you and your Freaktastic Reviews!"

Thanks, Tammy. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear that.


message 42: by Lucia (new)

Lucia Belakova 60 points. Where are the cookies, again?


message 43: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Lucia wrote: "60 points. Where are the cookies, again?"

60 points? Well done...cookies have been eaten but I will see what I can do.


message 44: by Lucia (new)

Lucia Belakova Stephen wrote: "Lucia wrote: "60 points. Where are the cookies, again?"

60 points? Well done...cookies have been eaten but I will see what I can do."


I see, so many normal people in one place just deserve them. And they were way quicker than I was. But you can still bake them, can't you? *wink*


message 45: by hayden (new)

hayden WooT! 100th like!


message 46: by Stephen (new)

Stephen LOL...thanks, Hayden.


message 47: by Erika (last edited Nov 07, 2011 10:53AM) (new)

Erika And where's part 1... and 3?


message 48: by Veronica Quezada (new)

Veronica Quezada toda la serie de crepusculo es la mejor!!! :D


message 49: by Stephen (new)

Stephen Erika wrote: "And where's part 1... and 3?"

Part I is only "implied" but I have thought of doing part III in my review of the second book. I need to work on that.


message 50: by Erika (new)

Erika Did you actually read the second book after not liking the first one? :O


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