Haleema’s review of Twilight (Twilight, #1) > Likes and Comments

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message 1: by P. (new)

P. "It was 85 degrees (I think), and I was wearing my favorite shirt, with lace and all that crap."

I thought this was a real quote until the 'crap' part.

message 2: by Haleema (new)

Haleema It's so stupid. Who cares about your favorite shirt and the weather?!

message 3: by John (new)

John Egbert "Oh my God, Severus, you can't just ask people why they sparkle!"

AAHAHAHAH OH GOD I snicker every time I see that!

Such an awesome review...

message 4: by Haleema (last edited Aug 25, 2011 02:43PM) (new)

Haleema Lol! One of my abosolute favorites.

And this -


message 5: by John (new)

John Egbert Oh God I adore Harry Potter/Twilight mashup meme like thingys XD

message 6: by Haleema (last edited Aug 25, 2011 03:09PM) (new)

Haleema *stands up* ME TOO! I LOVE THEM! *sits back down* This one has swearing in it, but it's hilarious!


message 7: by John (new)

John Egbert Run Snape RUNNN!!!!

*cough* and also, please Edward, pull your pants up. nobody wants to see that.

message 8: by Haleema (last edited Aug 25, 2011 03:40PM) (new)

Haleema He's not even hot. I mean, look at the pale, sickly, bony looking body. Ew. Draco Malfoy is 100000 times sexier.

message 9: by Steph (new)

Steph Sinclair I love this review. Lol.

message 10: by [deleted user] (new)

ah Haleema :) your reviews make me smile (even though I think Robert Pattinson is hot.) not EDWARD, NOT EDWARD. R. Patz <3

message 11: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Thanks! Haha, understandable. He did look dashing in Goblet of Fire.

message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

xD PLEASE tell me the majority of the world hates Twi?

message 13: by Haleema (new)

Haleema I'm sure it does by now.

message 14: by [deleted user] (new)

Haha yeah, it was alright for about the first five minutes..... or maybe that was just the chocolate I was eating....?
Awesome review man.

message 15: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Thank you, Emily. =)

message 16: by Ashley (new)

Ashley Clark Lmao at that snape picture!!!

message 17: by Minnu (new)


message 18: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Thanks, Minnu. =)

message 19: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Hehe, I know!

message 20: by Minnu (new)


message 21: by Minnu (new)

Minnu Please answer these:
1.What would be the story of the book if Bella's mom
do not marry Phil?
2.How would Bella live in Forks if Granpa [Edward ] die?

message 22: by Haleema (last edited Jun 15, 2012 10:07PM) (new)

Haleema Minnu, I really thought Twilight was horrible. It's merely an opinion.

I really can't answer them because I just don't care, lol. I don't think that would have affected how I feel about the book.

message 23: by [deleted user] (new)


Pfft, seriously Minnu, deal with it. Clearly Haleema was just stating her opinion. And like she said, it's just an opinion. Chill (capitals are pretty intense by the way).
Oh! And my opinion says that Robert Pattinson sucks, and he is not hot, and Draco Malfoy is :)

message 24: by Isabella (new)

Isabella OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU. Yeah really I do, you're so funny. I couldn't breath until I read 'So I suppose you don't like slurpies? Or showers, Bella? That explains why your hair smells like strawberries. Instead of eating them like a normal human being, you rub them all over your hair.' Over there I died and went back to life.

message 25: by Hayden (new)

Hayden Eun Don't forget he's a (over ) 100 virginwatching a girl sleep :D

message 26: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Lol! Thank you, Hayden! Ugh, I know.

message 27: by Asha (new)

Asha lol. Great review. The HP and toilet mashups were hilarious. Gotta love Snape.

message 28: by talltyrion (new)

talltyrion Hate it if you like. Clearly you've never been in love and are close-minded. Meyer actually writes well, which is a true defense when people say that the plot is stupid. Maybe it is, but you have to acknowledge that Meyer can write. If you prefer slasher content with no details or sense of reality, that's fine, but don't come after everyone else because of it. You know, I'll be the first to admit that the first book kind of portrays Edward as a jerk, but I've grown to care about the book characters. I do it for every book I read. It makes the books better, and, hell, it usually leaves you more broken than if you can just be reading, but it's worth it. I wouldn't trade anything for that relationship between various characters I keep, and I'm 100% proud of that.

message 29: by Jen (new)

Jen Tran Ahaha AMAZING review. And to the person above me, we (Potterheads) really don't like Twilight because we have actually read a good book (ahem Harry Potter). Reading Harry Potter and then reading Twilight was like going from eating 4 course meals of amazing detail and magical adventure to a 5 day old moldy sandwich. Yes, I read Twilight and I'm sure there are worse books out there but that was all Twilight ever was to me. A book. I couldn't bring myself to care about what happened to Bella and Edward. Plus, Stephanie made her characters too perfect. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect everything right down to the last toenail. Yes, toenail. There was nothing I could relate to, Edward was an incredibly old stalker who is not a real vampire (they DO NOT sparkle), Bella got asked to the girls choice (I think) dance by practically every boy in school, and people who say Jacob is a werewolf, HE IS NOT. Remus John Lupin is. Now in Harry Potter, JK Rowling created another world within our own which became the home of many "unnormal" people. People like us who others thought we were weird for believing in magic. In it we found a place where we belong. Even beyond that, just in her writing style, JK Rowling hid little hints and clues in her earliest books that would become revealed later. Her characters all had their flaws yet together they made a great team. It takes an epic person to make an epic charcter, and JK Rowling made hundreds. So thank you, JK Rowling, for making my (and many others) childhood magical.

message 30: by Haleema (last edited Feb 04, 2013 07:25AM) (new)

Haleema WordlesslyAmazed03 wrote: "Hate it if you like. Clearly you've never been in love and are close-minded. Meyer actually writes well, which is a true defense when people say that the plot is stupid. Maybe it is, but you have t..."

Lol, your comment made me laugh. A lot. Thanks. But listen, pal. I have never been in love, but Meyer's idea of it is pretty messed up. And I don't need to explain myself once again.

I don't have to acknowledge that Meyer can write. I don't have to acknowledge anything, except that her book made me barf. Her writing made me weep. There is a point when an author does a terrible job with describing the most unnecessary items and feelings. And that is what Meyer did. So wonderfully. If you believe that she had oh-so-delightful writing, believe it. But don't tell me I have to like it.

And I believe you're the one who's coming after people who dislike Twilight. It's pretty obvious, considering you're commenting on my anti-Twilight review. I don't go on people's positive reviews of Twilight and encourage them to hate it! I happen to leave them alone. Have you considered that? No.

message 31: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh My God! The Harry Potter/Twilight mash-ups are hilarious!

message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

The world may never know, Snape, the world may never know...

message 33: by Shobana (last edited Mar 06, 2013 10:23PM) (new)

Shobana Elango That is one awesome piece of writing.. you're review's so Hilarious that I laughed and laughed and laughed!! Write more such reviews!! :P

message 34: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Haha, thank you so much!

message 35: by Brittany (new)

Brittany Comeaux Robert Patterson made a much better Cedric Diggory.

message 36: by Maddie (new)

Maddie Pinee lord bless you :)
that was an amazing review. ( i admit i burst out laughing)

message 37: by Sarah (new)

Sarah I agree, I felt like it was a chore to read it. I am still not done with it, only because I keep putting it down not wanting to continue to read it. one of the worst books I've (tried) to read.

message 38: by Georgia (new)

Georgia Your review was perfect :')
*gives round of applause*
'Edward can't read her thoughts BECAUSE SHE HAS NONE'
Oh god that line just killed me :')
Most hilarious thing ever, but so true.

message 39: by Belayia (new)

Belayia My god, this review is brilliant. I'm so late commenting but I wanted to have look at reviews for horrendous books I've read and see if people have mutual feelings, and you've basically summed up the monstrosity that is The Twilight Saga! *applauds*

message 40: by Kristen (new)

Kristen Marion *applause*

message 41: by Aria (new)

Aria Rey This literally made my day. SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS.

message 42: by Greg (new)

Greg Was this a vampire spoof? Did we all miss that?

message 43: by Greg (new)

Greg Haleema, Edward's throat was velvety cause Bella was stuck in this story and was so sick that after making herself vomit, she stuck her finger down Edward's throat. Which felt velvety but only for a second or two.

message 44: by Haleema (new)

Haleema Greg wrote: "Was this a vampire spoof? Did we all miss that?"

Greg, I wish it was a spoof. Then maybe it would all make some sense.

message 45: by Persassyizdabest (new)

Persassyizdabest Omgg, absolutely loved the review and haha, poor Robert Pattinson!

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