If It Hurts, It Isn't Love: And 365 Other Principles to Heal and Transform Your Relationships

by Chuck Spezzano, Robert Holden

In If It Hurts, It Isn't Love , author Chuck Spezzano finds truth in simple What I think I need is what I am called to give. Depression is the fear that something new will leave me. When someone gets angry at me, there is a lesson for me to learn. Jealousy is a birthing place. These principles show how to look afresh at one's most important relationships, in a way that heals pain and brings love and forgiveness. After each principle, the author gives brief exercises that nudge readers further, prompting them to absorb the insights even more deeply.

Genres: Relationships, Self Help, Nonfiction, Love

416 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1996

About the author

Charles Lee Spezzano

Reviews

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a daily meditation book on relationships. For a while I was reading a page daily, but now I read it when I am struggling with some sort of conflict or concern. I find that the principles and wisdom always alter my perspective & encourage me to change the things I can change (myself) and release my expectations and blame of others.

[Jesus · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a good read. It helped me to see how simple relationships can be, yet we make them so difficult because of some underlying problem/emotion within ourselves or walls we have built around ourselves. It also helped me to see how behind every situation there is an emotional trigger from a past situation in your life that makes us respond the way we do. Just be yourself, appreciate the little things and remain positive.

[Chloe Michele · Rating 4 out of 5]

First just know this is not the type of book that has to be read cover to cover, each individual page is dedicated to a title/lesson with a thorough explanation. You can choose to skip around, or read it like a book.

This book is intended for you to use as a tool for self-reflection, to look at your actions and take responsibility in your relationships (relationships of all kinds) and make them better.

Definitely an amazing book, unfortunately i lost my copy and will have to purchase another soon.

[sara goldmund 🦢 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the eternal wisdom that is being shared in this book and I fully believe in it. 🪷

Regardless of my appreciation of this book, I‘d still advice young women to give up on relationships if those don’t serve them. You don‘t have to give grace to those who‘ve betrayed, hurt and abused you and furthermore you don‘t have to give out endless love, forgiveness and patience to men hoping that your virtue will inspire them to reach their highest self. Forgive only yourself for not having known better.

Sometimes it is better to choose yourself and walk away with integrity and dignity. Remove any access to you and let them feel your absence.

[Яна Хараланова · Rating 2 out of 5]

Книгата ми е нещо тип "fast food" психология.
Много рядко осъзнаването на нещо води до трайни промени, поради простия факт, че подсъзнанието е което управлява по-голяма част от ежедневието ни (говорим за нещо от порядъка 92-95%). Това е и една от причините да не ми допадат вербалните терапии.

Все пак книгата би могла да се използва като отправна точка за работа, ако се абстрахираме от препоръките в нея как да отработваме даден проблем.

[Elizabeth Black · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book works well as a "Thought for the day" as each entry is autonomous from the others. The drawback is that often times I found myself wanting desperately for him to elaborate on a profound insight, but turn the page, and you're to a different topic for a different day. It makes me want to read his other books!

[Beth Rocks · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is chock full of advice on how to be more loving and committed to your relationships.

[Sandee Clemons · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has practical advice on helping to grow relationships. No matter what type a relationship you are embarking on this book will help!

[Judy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is filled with great one-page topics that help you keep a positive perspective and assess your personal views towards life's challenges.

[Yvonne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've bought a couple of this as gifts to my friends. It helped me through one of the worst heartbreaks and I was never the same again.

[Henriette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read the German edition - Wenn es verletzt, ist es keine Liebe.