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selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee
Poetry. Megan Boyle's debut poetry collection is at once confessional, sociological, emotional, detached, funny, sad, delightful, reckless, and meditative. Written in the naturally meticulous, defaultedly complex, always affecting voice of a person too imaginative and self-aware and intelligent to be fully consumed by depression and loneliness but too aware of the meaninglessness and ephemeral nature of existence (and too depressed and lonely) to write on any level but an existential, emotionally-driven, unsimplified one, Megan Boyle's debut poetry collection is the rare work of art that conveys troubling and scary information, undiluted, about humans and the universe but in a way, ultimately, that makes you excited to be alive, eager to be troubled and scared, grateful to simply be here.
"...unbelievably engaging and mesmerizing. Boyle writes with such openness about living in a world that constantly mystifies you, the strange act of watching yourself do things you can't quite understand, making a mess of things and figuring out how to keep living [...] I can't think of another book quite like it, can't think of a voice as distinctive and strange as Boyle's."―Kevin Wilson, author of The Family Fang
"Just reading this collection, [Megan Boyle] immediately became one of my favorite modern poets."―Benn Ray, WYPR's The Signal
"[O]ne of the funniest, most satisfying, most original, most satisfying books of poetry I've come across in years."―Rachel Whang, Atomic Books
"[A] blunt work that challenges the reader, dares the reader to find out what this woman has on her mind. Boyle exhibits a generous exhibitionist quality that leaves one wondering if she might be the next Laurie Anderson."―Nicolle Elizabeth, The Brooklyn Rail
"...unbelievably engaging and mesmerizing. Boyle writes with such openness about living in a world that constantly mystifies you, the strange act of watching yourself do things you can't quite understand, making a mess of things and figuring out how to keep living [...] I can't think of another book quite like it, can't think of a voice as distinctive and strange as Boyle's."―Kevin Wilson, author of The Family Fang
"Just reading this collection, [Megan Boyle] immediately became one of my favorite modern poets."―Benn Ray, WYPR's The Signal
"[O]ne of the funniest, most satisfying, most original, most satisfying books of poetry I've come across in years."―Rachel Whang, Atomic Books
"[A] blunt work that challenges the reader, dares the reader to find out what this woman has on her mind. Boyle exhibits a generous exhibitionist quality that leaves one wondering if she might be the next Laurie Anderson."―Nicolle Elizabeth, The Brooklyn Rail
96 pages, Paperback
First published November 15, 2011
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September 24, 2019
i am not sure what to think about this. i am bemused. my sister has told me to stop using that word. she calls it a hipster word. i don't know, i still like it. it fits me.
i checked selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee out at the library because i saw it on goodreads and i wanted to read something from muumuu house after i read shoplifting from american apparel.
i think that i will write a review in the style of megan boyle's writing as the best way to respond. i don't know if this will be a good review or just annoying and stupid. i was about 50% done with the book when i thought i would review it this way. then i googled and found that at least one other person has done it before me. i'm going to try it anyway.
is this poetry? i never read much poetry, but i'm trying to read more. megan boyle writes these blog entries with a very strong feeling of confession and introspection. there was much that really resonated with me, i feel that these entries really capture the essence of modern life of people under thirty. i think megan boyle probably watches more tv than me. but i probably play more video games. we both spend a lot of time on the internet.
megan boyle writes, it seems impossible to ever objectively know what other people think. i think this is true but writing like boyle's can act as a viewer into another person's mind. i like it.
i feel like a voyeur for reading this. it is really personal, almost tmi. still, i like seeing how other people feel. i have felt much the same in my own self-conscious way. there are many differences too, of course. i don't get what the title means.
i try to remember what it was i was doing on the date of each entry.
on goodreads i give 57% of the books i read 4 stars. if i could i would probably give this 4 and a half stars. what if there were only three options, 1 star, 3 stars, or 5 stars on goodreads? Then people could not give wishy washy 2 or 4 stars and would have to make up their minds. i'm indecisive in general.
i feel like this might be the new literature of the internet age. megan boyle writes, i think some moments exist to be simple sentences that don't necessarily have a greater purpose than to be exactly what they are
i sometimes worry that i am a boring person and i have nothing to say.
highly recommended
i checked selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee out at the library because i saw it on goodreads and i wanted to read something from muumuu house after i read shoplifting from american apparel.
i think that i will write a review in the style of megan boyle's writing as the best way to respond. i don't know if this will be a good review or just annoying and stupid. i was about 50% done with the book when i thought i would review it this way. then i googled and found that at least one other person has done it before me. i'm going to try it anyway.
is this poetry? i never read much poetry, but i'm trying to read more. megan boyle writes these blog entries with a very strong feeling of confession and introspection. there was much that really resonated with me, i feel that these entries really capture the essence of modern life of people under thirty. i think megan boyle probably watches more tv than me. but i probably play more video games. we both spend a lot of time on the internet.
megan boyle writes, it seems impossible to ever objectively know what other people think. i think this is true but writing like boyle's can act as a viewer into another person's mind. i like it.
i feel like a voyeur for reading this. it is really personal, almost tmi. still, i like seeing how other people feel. i have felt much the same in my own self-conscious way. there are many differences too, of course. i don't get what the title means.
i try to remember what it was i was doing on the date of each entry.
on goodreads i give 57% of the books i read 4 stars. if i could i would probably give this 4 and a half stars. what if there were only three options, 1 star, 3 stars, or 5 stars on goodreads? Then people could not give wishy washy 2 or 4 stars and would have to make up their minds. i'm indecisive in general.
i feel like this might be the new literature of the internet age. megan boyle writes, i think some moments exist to be simple sentences that don't necessarily have a greater purpose than to be exactly what they are
i sometimes worry that i am a boring person and i have nothing to say.
highly recommended
April 15, 2012
I've been carrying this book around with me for the past 1.5 weeks. It's a talisman, for me. I read it out of order first, and now I am rereading it in order. So much could be said for the argument for the significance of the banal, but what I've found is that Megan's honesty makes me feel both safe and unhinged. I think we would be friends. This book has shown me in some small way that you can know the gross, intimate, boring details of someone and still love them.
May 14, 2012
most of this book felt like thoughts that have crossed my mind but never put down into words
i feel like i enjoyed this because—for example, the ‘chapters’ with ‘every thought i had while walking to school’, or ‘lies i have told’ or ‘everyone i had sex with’—are inherently interesting: that denial of preference for one thought over another, a subjective choice that refutes value judgement that comes with the selection of what is included in these lists (or non-selection since every thought is recorded & thus ‘worthy’ of inclusion, thereby questioning definition of what is deemed ‘worthy’/’meaningful’)
that in itself is important i think to note
reading this made me wonder if it is only a person who is interesting that is capable of writing interesting things
or if the writing can be interesting in and of itself but does not necessarily imply that the person writing these things is interesting
this book made me want to compile more lists
or document every thought i had everyday
i have incomplete drafts of lists of [things] in my gmail
i think i made a list of my favourite things to feel when i was ~16
i liked this book a lot and lent it to my friend to read
on the same night i showed her parts of this book i liked
she started writing a list of everyone she has had sex with
i feel like i enjoyed this because—for example, the ‘chapters’ with ‘every thought i had while walking to school’, or ‘lies i have told’ or ‘everyone i had sex with’—are inherently interesting: that denial of preference for one thought over another, a subjective choice that refutes value judgement that comes with the selection of what is included in these lists (or non-selection since every thought is recorded & thus ‘worthy’ of inclusion, thereby questioning definition of what is deemed ‘worthy’/’meaningful’)
that in itself is important i think to note
reading this made me wonder if it is only a person who is interesting that is capable of writing interesting things
or if the writing can be interesting in and of itself but does not necessarily imply that the person writing these things is interesting
this book made me want to compile more lists
or document every thought i had everyday
i have incomplete drafts of lists of [things] in my gmail
i think i made a list of my favourite things to feel when i was ~16
i liked this book a lot and lent it to my friend to read
on the same night i showed her parts of this book i liked
she started writing a list of everyone she has had sex with
February 2, 2012
i borrowed jackson's copy of this
probably the best book i have read in a while
i like megan boyle, she seems funny and cheeky
places i read this book:
alice's front porch
alice's bed
a plane
my bed
i laughed so much i was crying re: "thought about a world where pokemon accompany you in the shower and wash your body/hair as you stand with your eyes closed"
like i think i kept turning back to that page afterwards and laughing more and more
idk why i found it so funny
probably the best book i have read in a while
i like megan boyle, she seems funny and cheeky
places i read this book:
alice's front porch
alice's bed
a plane
my bed
i laughed so much i was crying re: "thought about a world where pokemon accompany you in the shower and wash your body/hair as you stand with your eyes closed"
like i think i kept turning back to that page afterwards and laughing more and more
idk why i found it so funny
October 15, 2011
'Selected...' is a rich addition to the catalog of Muumuu House, a sort of literary, cultural bastion for young writers that resonate thematically with the work of founder and internet-famous 'symbol', Tao Lin.
This enjoyably ambiguous 'collective' centers often around anxious-yet-stoic, stream-of-consciousness, I'm-okay-really-but-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life work of a complex flavor that many describe as the signature zeitgeist/milieu/something of my generation, a claim I have knee-jerk reaction toward deflecting as reductive and broad-brushed until I read the work and nod constantly, writing 'Yes/pretty much/word/this/yup/lol' in the margins. Megan Boyle's debut collection of poetry is absolutely no different, and this is a good thing.
Yes, actually this is what my head sounds like. It may often feel like stereotypical 'teenage angst' that has 'grown up'/gone to graduate school/spent years reading Lorrie Moore et al/'decided' to exist as much on the Internet as off of it/etc. but that's okay because it's ostensibly the truth, to my mind.
Boyle's speaker even nods toward the role of production of such an effect in the creative process itself:
"i relate to 90% of what lydia davis says, but i'm not sure if it's because we've actually had similar thoughts, or because her style of writing makes me think we've had similar thoughts. i think a little of both."
We see a bit more of this concern RE: life/art interplay later in the poem 'every thought i had while walking to school':
"am i consciously trying to think interesting thoughts because i think i'm going to write this down later?"
Another accusation/'hallmark' of this kind of writing is a kind of self-indulgence one might expect with stream-of-consciousness writing almost constantly zeroed-in on how one feels at any given moment; a notable flourish in this book is a tendency to now and then shift this focus entirely to concerns of a larger scale, tied into mortality/the passing of time/the speaker's effect on the world:
"do i only feel depressed because i constantly ask myself 'how are
you feeling right now' and sometimes don't have an answer
i just looked at this and thought 'professional blogging asshole'
i will be 24 in october"
and again, from one of the book's most overarching and refractive moments:
"i am still unsure of what 'life to the fullest' for me would be, mostly i just
try to be well-liked in social situations and not die
i silently ask myself questions in the first person limited a lot, i.e. 'am
i okay right now.' if i mess up conversationally i will switch to second
person, i.e. 'you fucking asshole'
sometimes i narrate my life in the third person in my head and won-
der of it's good enough"
and in an early poem, put simply:
"everything i touch is going to be a fossil someday"
Two compelling paradoxes (and their resulting, understandable confusion) continue to be the matter of such work: feelings of anxiety clashing with feelings of stoic, existential boredom/directionlessness alongside intense loneliness clashing against the desire to be alone. The persistent shakiness between these emotional flares often feels anchored in the physical (sex/drugs, but without the 'exciting', cliché celebratory addition of 'rock n' roll') as well as the intellectual/emotional. There are many comments both in and about the 'Muumuu House aesthetic' about the internet/social media/chatting that feel markedly appropriate; fewer things are as defining to my generation and technology seems enveloped in the same paradox: bringing people together while separating them. It's an incredibly deep and nuanced conversation to consider, and I've not seen it articulated as appropriately or with as much emotional/artistic intelligence as I have here. One superb moment, from the poem '7.20.09':
"i'm consciously avoiding social situations. it feels okay, not really
different than before. maybe i'm a little more calm or something, and
it sort of looks like other people are having more fun than me all the
time
maybe i should stop doing that before people start forgetting about
me in their weekend event planning
i keep thinking about updating my blog, twitter, and facebook with
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,' then leaving the internet indefinitely"
and here's a moment that speaks a bit to this feeling outside of the context of the internet:
"i feel
like getting drunk/stoned with people is just a way to 'pay dues' to a
voice inside my head which says 'you should be social,' i don't expect it
to result in feeling genuinely connected to anyone."
This mention of 'connecting' resounds throughout the book on many levels, and what I perhaps enjoyed most about the entire book was the occasional moment of empathic consideration, often along the same plane of other thoughts/emotions, i.e. the classic existential questions aka who we are / where we're going, mortality/the future, etc.:
"the guy next to me is typing expressively
seems like he's looking for attention
he has a huge jug of water, like something a family would bring
to a sporting event
in ten hours we'll both be in other places and the computer lab will be
dark and quiet
in 50 years our children will have families"
So maybe there is a connection somewhere in the nature of loneliness and separation, another strange but familiar-seeming paradox, and while the internet is an incredible, daily metaphor and reminder, this is a far older and human-nature thought/emotion, one the entire book sits upon and adds to, one worth exploring.
As is this book, I should by end be saying. Many detractors of this unique style have and will continue to point to the simplistic, accessible language and stilted-seeming tone/'craftwork', and they do so at the cost of failing to interface with where the real work is--the nuanced introspections, emotional depths and genuine empathy that many are legitimately struggling to find a place of/place for. This book has a great deal to say, says it well, and knows you don't always have to dress up/put on a costume to say it. It made me feel less lonely, or at least less lonely in my loneliness; it also made me want to spend more time writing. These are honestly perhaps my only real criteria for liking a book. I like this book.
This enjoyably ambiguous 'collective' centers often around anxious-yet-stoic, stream-of-consciousness, I'm-okay-really-but-what-am-I-doing-with-my-life work of a complex flavor that many describe as the signature zeitgeist/milieu/something of my generation, a claim I have knee-jerk reaction toward deflecting as reductive and broad-brushed until I read the work and nod constantly, writing 'Yes/pretty much/word/this/yup/lol' in the margins. Megan Boyle's debut collection of poetry is absolutely no different, and this is a good thing.
Yes, actually this is what my head sounds like. It may often feel like stereotypical 'teenage angst' that has 'grown up'/gone to graduate school/spent years reading Lorrie Moore et al/'decided' to exist as much on the Internet as off of it/etc. but that's okay because it's ostensibly the truth, to my mind.
Boyle's speaker even nods toward the role of production of such an effect in the creative process itself:
"i relate to 90% of what lydia davis says, but i'm not sure if it's because we've actually had similar thoughts, or because her style of writing makes me think we've had similar thoughts. i think a little of both."
We see a bit more of this concern RE: life/art interplay later in the poem 'every thought i had while walking to school':
"am i consciously trying to think interesting thoughts because i think i'm going to write this down later?"
Another accusation/'hallmark' of this kind of writing is a kind of self-indulgence one might expect with stream-of-consciousness writing almost constantly zeroed-in on how one feels at any given moment; a notable flourish in this book is a tendency to now and then shift this focus entirely to concerns of a larger scale, tied into mortality/the passing of time/the speaker's effect on the world:
"do i only feel depressed because i constantly ask myself 'how are
you feeling right now' and sometimes don't have an answer
i just looked at this and thought 'professional blogging asshole'
i will be 24 in october"
and again, from one of the book's most overarching and refractive moments:
"i am still unsure of what 'life to the fullest' for me would be, mostly i just
try to be well-liked in social situations and not die
i silently ask myself questions in the first person limited a lot, i.e. 'am
i okay right now.' if i mess up conversationally i will switch to second
person, i.e. 'you fucking asshole'
sometimes i narrate my life in the third person in my head and won-
der of it's good enough"
and in an early poem, put simply:
"everything i touch is going to be a fossil someday"
Two compelling paradoxes (and their resulting, understandable confusion) continue to be the matter of such work: feelings of anxiety clashing with feelings of stoic, existential boredom/directionlessness alongside intense loneliness clashing against the desire to be alone. The persistent shakiness between these emotional flares often feels anchored in the physical (sex/drugs, but without the 'exciting', cliché celebratory addition of 'rock n' roll') as well as the intellectual/emotional. There are many comments both in and about the 'Muumuu House aesthetic' about the internet/social media/chatting that feel markedly appropriate; fewer things are as defining to my generation and technology seems enveloped in the same paradox: bringing people together while separating them. It's an incredibly deep and nuanced conversation to consider, and I've not seen it articulated as appropriately or with as much emotional/artistic intelligence as I have here. One superb moment, from the poem '7.20.09':
"i'm consciously avoiding social situations. it feels okay, not really
different than before. maybe i'm a little more calm or something, and
it sort of looks like other people are having more fun than me all the
time
maybe i should stop doing that before people start forgetting about
me in their weekend event planning
i keep thinking about updating my blog, twitter, and facebook with
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH,' then leaving the internet indefinitely"
and here's a moment that speaks a bit to this feeling outside of the context of the internet:
"i feel
like getting drunk/stoned with people is just a way to 'pay dues' to a
voice inside my head which says 'you should be social,' i don't expect it
to result in feeling genuinely connected to anyone."
This mention of 'connecting' resounds throughout the book on many levels, and what I perhaps enjoyed most about the entire book was the occasional moment of empathic consideration, often along the same plane of other thoughts/emotions, i.e. the classic existential questions aka who we are / where we're going, mortality/the future, etc.:
"the guy next to me is typing expressively
seems like he's looking for attention
he has a huge jug of water, like something a family would bring
to a sporting event
in ten hours we'll both be in other places and the computer lab will be
dark and quiet
in 50 years our children will have families"
So maybe there is a connection somewhere in the nature of loneliness and separation, another strange but familiar-seeming paradox, and while the internet is an incredible, daily metaphor and reminder, this is a far older and human-nature thought/emotion, one the entire book sits upon and adds to, one worth exploring.
As is this book, I should by end be saying. Many detractors of this unique style have and will continue to point to the simplistic, accessible language and stilted-seeming tone/'craftwork', and they do so at the cost of failing to interface with where the real work is--the nuanced introspections, emotional depths and genuine empathy that many are legitimately struggling to find a place of/place for. This book has a great deal to say, says it well, and knows you don't always have to dress up/put on a costume to say it. It made me feel less lonely, or at least less lonely in my loneliness; it also made me want to spend more time writing. These are honestly perhaps my only real criteria for liking a book. I like this book.
August 3, 2015
This book was not written for me, a 62 year old male academic. Yet I teach graphic novels and YA and read "confessional" poetry and memoirs like The Liar's Club, which is a story about an east-Texas train wreck of a family, so I'm not a typical academic. And I like experimental lit, absurdist stuff, and I WAS her age and was then writing about myself, journaling and teaching journaling. And maybe this advocates memoirs and maybe it is ironic, and I like that tension.
Is Megan Boyle Mexican? Did she ever work for Panda Express? Probably not. So this may be fiction, it may be just having fun. Like, ironic, dude. I read the book because friend Vicki (who IS in the demographic who would love this book) loved it and because it has an irreverent, amusing title that made me smile. And these either are blog posts or are written to look like blog posts that are sorta arranged to look like poems. Sorta. And I can see her and her fans reading this and saying: Hey, screw you if you say these are not poems, you teacher! Anything I say is a poem is a poem so just put the book down and read your stuffy T.S. Eliot if you don't like it, dude! And I like everything people call poetry, typically, from Rimbaud to to Bukowski to Wright to Creeley.
At 25 I would have been amused more by these… okay, poems. And I'm not really fussy about what to put in a category, really. This is in that respect like Bukowski, though if Bukowksi was a 22 year old woman just out of college and just hanging at Starbucks and blogging instead of at the track with a cigar in her mouth. The talky part and the blogging of booze and drugs and sex are sort of similar, though the class and gender differences are glaring. Bukowski's boozing and "blogging" doesn't feel like privilege. But if you aren't drinking, hey, it all just feels like stupid excess, I bet.
So what does she write about? Drinking, drugs and sex, as I said. Lots of sex. Drunk-calling mom in the middle of the night to tell her she loves her. These are all the guys I have slept with so far. These are all the lies I have told. These are all my embarrassing moments. I was thinking of writing an epic poem about snack foods, but I'm too lazy. Productive tasks of the day, in this order. Unproductive tasks of the day in this order. You have the feeling that to read this book by this girl who has a lotta time on your hands that you have to be doing pretty much nothing and so will have a lotta time on your hands. Because there's no claim this is anything but whimsical to read, a 20 something girl's blogging about whatever. And maybe it's what real people write poetry about as opposed to Keats's grecian urn.
The sex litany reminded me of Marinaomi's Kiss and Tell and Spaulding Gray's Sex and Death to the Age of 13 and stuff like that. Yes, I too like to read such books: These are all the guys I slept with and this is what I did with them. This one feels like both slacker and sometimes obsessively paying too much attention to the mundane, though, which most people reading it find "hilarious," and "so funny, hey," and "this is SO MUCH the poetry I have been looking for," because it is, like, recording the every day events of daily life and not even claiming they are important and who cares if you read them, what do I care about you, I wouldn't even have a drink with you if you don't even find this awesome! But as I said, she doesn't care what I think, she is writing for herself and maybe other 20-somethings...
But in spite of that little diatribe, I sorta did like it quite a bit at times. I mean, I kept reading it, I didn't put it down. It was sometimes pretty funny like that graphic novel series that is supposedly based on a journal found in a roadstop bathroom, Esther Pearl Watson's Unlovable, a girl just writing a diary of her loser life. And I like mundane tales of the every day; I just re-read Building Stories by Chris Ware. The difference is that he seems to want to really say something, and she probably doesn't have those kinds of aspirations. She's like so not into that.
Is Megan Boyle Mexican? Did she ever work for Panda Express? Probably not. So this may be fiction, it may be just having fun. Like, ironic, dude. I read the book because friend Vicki (who IS in the demographic who would love this book) loved it and because it has an irreverent, amusing title that made me smile. And these either are blog posts or are written to look like blog posts that are sorta arranged to look like poems. Sorta. And I can see her and her fans reading this and saying: Hey, screw you if you say these are not poems, you teacher! Anything I say is a poem is a poem so just put the book down and read your stuffy T.S. Eliot if you don't like it, dude! And I like everything people call poetry, typically, from Rimbaud to to Bukowski to Wright to Creeley.
At 25 I would have been amused more by these… okay, poems. And I'm not really fussy about what to put in a category, really. This is in that respect like Bukowski, though if Bukowksi was a 22 year old woman just out of college and just hanging at Starbucks and blogging instead of at the track with a cigar in her mouth. The talky part and the blogging of booze and drugs and sex are sort of similar, though the class and gender differences are glaring. Bukowski's boozing and "blogging" doesn't feel like privilege. But if you aren't drinking, hey, it all just feels like stupid excess, I bet.
So what does she write about? Drinking, drugs and sex, as I said. Lots of sex. Drunk-calling mom in the middle of the night to tell her she loves her. These are all the guys I have slept with so far. These are all the lies I have told. These are all my embarrassing moments. I was thinking of writing an epic poem about snack foods, but I'm too lazy. Productive tasks of the day, in this order. Unproductive tasks of the day in this order. You have the feeling that to read this book by this girl who has a lotta time on your hands that you have to be doing pretty much nothing and so will have a lotta time on your hands. Because there's no claim this is anything but whimsical to read, a 20 something girl's blogging about whatever. And maybe it's what real people write poetry about as opposed to Keats's grecian urn.
The sex litany reminded me of Marinaomi's Kiss and Tell and Spaulding Gray's Sex and Death to the Age of 13 and stuff like that. Yes, I too like to read such books: These are all the guys I slept with and this is what I did with them. This one feels like both slacker and sometimes obsessively paying too much attention to the mundane, though, which most people reading it find "hilarious," and "so funny, hey," and "this is SO MUCH the poetry I have been looking for," because it is, like, recording the every day events of daily life and not even claiming they are important and who cares if you read them, what do I care about you, I wouldn't even have a drink with you if you don't even find this awesome! But as I said, she doesn't care what I think, she is writing for herself and maybe other 20-somethings...
But in spite of that little diatribe, I sorta did like it quite a bit at times. I mean, I kept reading it, I didn't put it down. It was sometimes pretty funny like that graphic novel series that is supposedly based on a journal found in a roadstop bathroom, Esther Pearl Watson's Unlovable, a girl just writing a diary of her loser life. And I like mundane tales of the every day; I just re-read Building Stories by Chris Ware. The difference is that he seems to want to really say something, and she probably doesn't have those kinds of aspirations. She's like so not into that.
December 28, 2011
My review from banangolit.com:
selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee is Megan Boyle’s first book and it is a very interesting debut.
The first thing the reader notices about the book is the form it takes: the poems/ pieces seem to be arranged chronologically, so the reader feels like, in a way, they are reading a diary of Megan Boyle’s life. And this diary seems interesting. Included in it is Boyle’s piece “everyone I’ve had sex with”, which was originally published at Thought Catalog.
I bring that up because the thing this book reminded me of the most was a very long Thought Catalog piece. It is a look into the life of a 20something living on the East Coast and it takes a slightly detached look at that life. In “3.01.09”, Boyle titles the piece “i am kind of a disgusting person” but then does not really pass judgment on the events she describes.
The way this feels like a long diary is very effective. Boyle does not attempt to “flower” the language up to make it feel “more poetic” because it is not meant to do that.
The last piece in here is called “lies i have told” and seems to be the piece that ties the book together and makes us feel something strong although I am not completely sure what we are feeling. We are feeling sad by the end of the book. We are feeling unsure about our own lives.
Lines I feel strongly positively about:
i have frequently thought ‘i am trying to be okay’ in the past 48 hours
without really knowing what ‘okay’ is or what i need to do to be
‘trying’ - “6.25.10”
i just ate half a xanax and i’m going to watch things on hulu.com until
i fall asleep
at 3AM i will wake with my mouth open and probably want to eat a
cookie- “10.19.09”
Overall this book is doing a good job of telling what Megan Boyle is and what being a 20something is and what living on the East Coast is and since I only knew how to be one of those things, I learned a lot.
This review is not sufficient and I am sorry. Buy this book.
selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee is Megan Boyle’s first book and it is a very interesting debut.
The first thing the reader notices about the book is the form it takes: the poems/ pieces seem to be arranged chronologically, so the reader feels like, in a way, they are reading a diary of Megan Boyle’s life. And this diary seems interesting. Included in it is Boyle’s piece “everyone I’ve had sex with”, which was originally published at Thought Catalog.
I bring that up because the thing this book reminded me of the most was a very long Thought Catalog piece. It is a look into the life of a 20something living on the East Coast and it takes a slightly detached look at that life. In “3.01.09”, Boyle titles the piece “i am kind of a disgusting person” but then does not really pass judgment on the events she describes.
The way this feels like a long diary is very effective. Boyle does not attempt to “flower” the language up to make it feel “more poetic” because it is not meant to do that.
The last piece in here is called “lies i have told” and seems to be the piece that ties the book together and makes us feel something strong although I am not completely sure what we are feeling. We are feeling sad by the end of the book. We are feeling unsure about our own lives.
Lines I feel strongly positively about:
i have frequently thought ‘i am trying to be okay’ in the past 48 hours
without really knowing what ‘okay’ is or what i need to do to be
‘trying’ - “6.25.10”
i just ate half a xanax and i’m going to watch things on hulu.com until
i fall asleep
at 3AM i will wake with my mouth open and probably want to eat a
cookie- “10.19.09”
Overall this book is doing a good job of telling what Megan Boyle is and what being a 20something is and what living on the East Coast is and since I only knew how to be one of those things, I learned a lot.
This review is not sufficient and I am sorry. Buy this book.
March 7, 2014
Okay. I mean, yes, there is value to the hyper sincerity that Megan Boyle achieves here. There is both heartbreak and humor in her laying these thoughts and emotions bare to the world, both confessions about tragedy and quirky thoughts she has had in the shower evoked by the same affectless tone. But the occasional spikes of emotion and laughter are surrounded by the flatline of nonevent, prose so style-less that it has itself become a style. The aesthetic decisions here were made with a collander and all that's left is hot water. Mercifully short, intermittently funny and otherwise sad, Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee is part of the slowly falling tide of Tao Lin influence: if you can't get enough of that you won't be able to get enough of this.
Note: Can we stop trying to review a book using that book's aesthetic choices? I mean Jesus Christ guys.
Note: Can we stop trying to review a book using that book's aesthetic choices? I mean Jesus Christ guys.
June 22, 2017
Una perdida de tiempo que refleja la fragilidad de la vida de los llamados millenials que creen, vaya a saber dios por qué, que lo peor que les puede pasar es no ser reconocidos como sujetos absolutamente geniales y para eso, esto es terrible, lo único que ofrecen es una vida totalmente vacía pero destripada en vivo en donde el sufrimiento, de esto estoy segura, es saber que en el fondo son irremotablemente idiotas.
September 24, 2011
Honestly, when I started to read the first few pages, I thought this book was just random ideas that some people have everyday but that one person decided to write down. As I continued to read, I found an honestly through the comments that interest you as the reader, making you feel almost that you shouldn't know these certain things written down, but fascinated at the same time that you do.
July 4, 2015
Kind of like chatting with your best friend in the middle of the night when you're both punchy as hell and being way too candid.
One of the best parts is a list (with detailed descriptions) of everyone she's had sex with.
Her writing is honest and weird and hilarious.
You will want to be her friend. If you are me.
Favorite bit:
"I'm looking for a two to five year relationship with a man similar enough to me so we feel like we have a special, secret kind of bond, but different enough so we have things to talk about. Hopefully he has been, but is not currently severely depressed. An interest in writing, reading, literature, and/or existential philosophy is important, though I feel stupid saying that... Quiet but not boring. Laughs easily. Doesn't take me or him or life in general seriously, yet has a capacity to earnestly experience emotions, and is aware of this paradox. Average sex drive. Gives compliments... Would probably not like that I have written all these things about what I want him to be like, but would also understand and tease me about it later."
One of the best parts is a list (with detailed descriptions) of everyone she's had sex with.
Her writing is honest and weird and hilarious.
You will want to be her friend. If you are me.
Favorite bit:
"I'm looking for a two to five year relationship with a man similar enough to me so we feel like we have a special, secret kind of bond, but different enough so we have things to talk about. Hopefully he has been, but is not currently severely depressed. An interest in writing, reading, literature, and/or existential philosophy is important, though I feel stupid saying that... Quiet but not boring. Laughs easily. Doesn't take me or him or life in general seriously, yet has a capacity to earnestly experience emotions, and is aware of this paradox. Average sex drive. Gives compliments... Would probably not like that I have written all these things about what I want him to be like, but would also understand and tease me about it later."
July 30, 2012
This book is funny, weirdly psychedelic, and good. It's the type of book that when you're reading it, the things written almost feel like memories...like familiar or something. I have always loved Megan as a writer, have been following her blogs all the way from diaryland days. She writes in a voice that I can relate to because it's one of a disconnected but very self aware human like many other humans in our generation, myself included. She makes it seem okay to feel lonely or depressed or shitty. It's okay to do drugs to numb that shit. I recommend this book.
November 12, 2011
Hey Megan Boyle, I really enjoyed this. Totally honest, totally true. I hardly underlined anything because I knew I would underline everything.
September 4, 2022
i read it a while ago but couldnt put into words what i thought of it.
it feels like reading the notes app on someones phone minus all the grocery lists. i love peering into peoples inner thoughts so this was right up my alley.
but at the same time im hesitant to say that i really liked the book. i appreciate the concept/ style of writing because its refreshing niche unique etc. but i would hate to see more books done like this bc it would very quickly become a lazy gimmick.
while i did enjoy the contents on the book, it just feels weird to say i liked it since it is someone else's inner thoughts and we all have similar thoughts. we are all thinking the same thing all the time and it is interesting to see it materialised in someone else but its not particularly ground breaking??? if this book was an experiment then i love the hypothesis but the data is insignificant.
it feels like reading the notes app on someones phone minus all the grocery lists. i love peering into peoples inner thoughts so this was right up my alley.
but at the same time im hesitant to say that i really liked the book. i appreciate the concept/ style of writing because its refreshing niche unique etc. but i would hate to see more books done like this bc it would very quickly become a lazy gimmick.
while i did enjoy the contents on the book, it just feels weird to say i liked it since it is someone else's inner thoughts and we all have similar thoughts. we are all thinking the same thing all the time and it is interesting to see it materialised in someone else but its not particularly ground breaking??? if this book was an experiment then i love the hypothesis but the data is insignificant.
April 15, 2020
it feels too easy or unoriginal or something to write this review in the style of megan boyle but then again it's too tempting not to
i don't like that i liked this book so much. it feels like something that's 'targeted' at my 'demographic,' which for some reason makes me resent it. but i did like it
megan boyle used to work at a used bookshop across the street from where i now go to school. i wish i got to meet her and ask her for book recommendations. maybe i still can someday. i kind of want megan boyle to be my friend after reading this, but i feel like i would say something stupid and she would get annoyed with me
'selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee' is a difficult book to review. it's not exactly poetry, even though it's marketed/presented as such. it's not really memoir either, but these aren't fictional narratives either. they're not really narratives at all. somehow even 'book' feels wrong. like it should be called a 'text' or something. not in the sense of 'text message' but like in the literal sense of the word. i don't know
it's none of those things but it is somehow 'literary.' like there's some interesting stuff about bodily autonomy or something going on in here. if there are 'themes' that's probably one of them, but megan boyle probably doesn't like the idea of 'themes.' still, throughout most of these entries there's stuff about the subject willing against her embodiment that i thought was really interesting. i hope that doesn't sound pretentious or too serious
mostly i liked this book because i feel like megan boyle gives a great account of what it's like to be in the world today, at least for a certain 'demographic.' her style is so detached--she insists on 'not taking [herself] too seriously' a lot--but at the same time i feel like there's a lot of sincerity and emotion in here and i was very moved by a lot of the pieces
sometimes this book made me want to swallow a lot of xanax and give up on the world
sometimes this book made me realize that other people feel similarly to the way I feel, which made me feel less lonely, which made me feel like maybe we're all going to be okay.
sometimes this book made me laugh out loud. I read it on an airplane and my fellow passangers occasionally looked at me like they wanted me to die
mostly though, i felt positively about reading this book. i felt like megan boyle was talking to me, the way you somtimes feel when you read something you kind of identify with. i hope to read more of her stuff in the future
i don't like that i liked this book so much. it feels like something that's 'targeted' at my 'demographic,' which for some reason makes me resent it. but i did like it
megan boyle used to work at a used bookshop across the street from where i now go to school. i wish i got to meet her and ask her for book recommendations. maybe i still can someday. i kind of want megan boyle to be my friend after reading this, but i feel like i would say something stupid and she would get annoyed with me
'selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee' is a difficult book to review. it's not exactly poetry, even though it's marketed/presented as such. it's not really memoir either, but these aren't fictional narratives either. they're not really narratives at all. somehow even 'book' feels wrong. like it should be called a 'text' or something. not in the sense of 'text message' but like in the literal sense of the word. i don't know
it's none of those things but it is somehow 'literary.' like there's some interesting stuff about bodily autonomy or something going on in here. if there are 'themes' that's probably one of them, but megan boyle probably doesn't like the idea of 'themes.' still, throughout most of these entries there's stuff about the subject willing against her embodiment that i thought was really interesting. i hope that doesn't sound pretentious or too serious
mostly i liked this book because i feel like megan boyle gives a great account of what it's like to be in the world today, at least for a certain 'demographic.' her style is so detached--she insists on 'not taking [herself] too seriously' a lot--but at the same time i feel like there's a lot of sincerity and emotion in here and i was very moved by a lot of the pieces
sometimes this book made me want to swallow a lot of xanax and give up on the world
sometimes this book made me realize that other people feel similarly to the way I feel, which made me feel less lonely, which made me feel like maybe we're all going to be okay.
sometimes this book made me laugh out loud. I read it on an airplane and my fellow passangers occasionally looked at me like they wanted me to die
mostly though, i felt positively about reading this book. i felt like megan boyle was talking to me, the way you somtimes feel when you read something you kind of identify with. i hope to read more of her stuff in the future
December 4, 2011
“Selected, Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee” reveals a young woman’s perspective on her life regarding work, college, relationships, and just plain living through a series of blog entries. There are many random anecdotes about life which we all think about, but very few choose to write about in this particular form. I’m glad that I received it as part of the First-Reads program! What I especially loved about this work is that it is presented as a roller coaster of raw, unapologetic emotion, with moments of randomness, excitement, dissension and love that make it unconventional, but definitely a great read.
There’s an entry on Valentine’s Day, which really isn’t funny at all, but I laughed and then felt extremely bewildered within a matter of seconds at just how random and thought-provoking it was. Megan determined that there was an 87% chance that the guy she was sitting next to in Starbucks was homeless based on his appearance. The odds of just throwing out that statistic as opposed to another number, seemed momentarily hilarious. What really took me aback was her statement on love, saying, “if i was never told there was something i needed called ‘love’ would i feel like i need to have it?” It was simply stated, but held such a power philosophical stance, that it actually had me pondering for a few minutes.
There were several instances where I would read an entry, and my response of, “What the hell?”, would be more than appropriate. Well, “several instances” probably equates to half of the book, but this is what kept it interesting!
Awesome work Megan!
There’s an entry on Valentine’s Day, which really isn’t funny at all, but I laughed and then felt extremely bewildered within a matter of seconds at just how random and thought-provoking it was. Megan determined that there was an 87% chance that the guy she was sitting next to in Starbucks was homeless based on his appearance. The odds of just throwing out that statistic as opposed to another number, seemed momentarily hilarious. What really took me aback was her statement on love, saying, “if i was never told there was something i needed called ‘love’ would i feel like i need to have it?” It was simply stated, but held such a power philosophical stance, that it actually had me pondering for a few minutes.
There were several instances where I would read an entry, and my response of, “What the hell?”, would be more than appropriate. Well, “several instances” probably equates to half of the book, but this is what kept it interesting!
Awesome work Megan!
November 18, 2012
This book sparked my creativity and provided a lot of writing prompts. Selected Unpublished Blog Posts of a Mexican Panda Express Employee is funny, relatable, and a little sad. Imagine the pretty girl you've admired from afar, then imagine an intimate peek inside her world.
Lately, I've been listening to Juliana Hatfield's new album and I've decided that Megan Boyle might be the literary equivalent. Hatfield's first solo album, 1992's "Hey Babe," was an impressive, confessional debut full of hooks and self-doubt. The album garnered plenty of attention; yet, it was her next album- 1993's "Be Come What You Are" that really put her on the map. If this book is Boyle's "Hey Babe," I can't wait to read what's next.
Lately, I've been listening to Juliana Hatfield's new album and I've decided that Megan Boyle might be the literary equivalent. Hatfield's first solo album, 1992's "Hey Babe," was an impressive, confessional debut full of hooks and self-doubt. The album garnered plenty of attention; yet, it was her next album- 1993's "Be Come What You Are" that really put her on the map. If this book is Boyle's "Hey Babe," I can't wait to read what's next.
November 3, 2011
I wrote a couple of longer reviews of this book because I ordered a galley copy and felt guilty if I didn't write a "real" review. I read some reviews other people wrote and figured that was about as much as could be said. All I can say otherwise is that I like this book a lot and hope a lot of people read it because it has pretty much everything I ever wanted from a "poetry" book and would hope other people feel the same way as I.
July 29, 2012
sweet, you mean i can just express things with straight forward honesty? i read it and smiled a lot and read it again and this book put a pen back in my hand. it is nectar to me. i appreciate that as fully as i can.
January 14, 2014
Just finished reading this book and I'm pretty sure I liked it a lot. It didn't give me the sort of angry disefranchisement over 'trying-too-hard' that I get when I read a lot of 'alt-lit' stuff. It's the only book in Muumuhouse's store labeled as prose, but it felt like poetry to me.
I think the most important quality of Megan Boyle's writing is that she's observant. Anyone can be in a room and transcribe their thoughts, then call that poetry, then call that 'alt-lit', then call that 'something worth reading', but there's a distinguishing quality in this book that I really enjoyed. It did feel sort of like the internet literally translated into a physical medium, but I sort of liked that. The only difference between the internet and books is the delivery mechanism. When you hold something in your hand, it feels more tangible, mostly because it is, literally.
Anyway. This book was good. I'd recommend it. I felt a vague sense of sadness upon completing it because I wanted to read more. I feel like it could go on forever, or at least until the author dies. It probably will, in some sense.
I think the most important quality of Megan Boyle's writing is that she's observant. Anyone can be in a room and transcribe their thoughts, then call that poetry, then call that 'alt-lit', then call that 'something worth reading', but there's a distinguishing quality in this book that I really enjoyed. It did feel sort of like the internet literally translated into a physical medium, but I sort of liked that. The only difference between the internet and books is the delivery mechanism. When you hold something in your hand, it feels more tangible, mostly because it is, literally.
Anyway. This book was good. I'd recommend it. I felt a vague sense of sadness upon completing it because I wanted to read more. I feel like it could go on forever, or at least until the author dies. It probably will, in some sense.
December 22, 2011
I had previously some sections of this book online and enjoyed re-reading those parts in real life.
I had previously read, "everyone i've had sex w/" and enjoyed it.
I wonder if people read that part and thought, does that make her a slut, in much the same way people have read other literary things and thought, is this a detective story, a romance, etc., not feeling comfortable until the genre is grossly pinned down.
I feel a little self-conscious of the adverb I used in the last sentence.
I like that she has cats. It makes me feel less lonely some how.
If you want to read this book and take drugs while reading this book, I have a theory that xanax would be the best drug to take.
Favorite line while she is casually watching "Nights in Rodanthe" on tv:
richard gere is kissing diane lane again, like spinning her around
i'm unsure of this movie's plot but it feels like someone has cancer.
I had previously read, "everyone i've had sex w/" and enjoyed it.
I wonder if people read that part and thought, does that make her a slut, in much the same way people have read other literary things and thought, is this a detective story, a romance, etc., not feeling comfortable until the genre is grossly pinned down.
I feel a little self-conscious of the adverb I used in the last sentence.
I like that she has cats. It makes me feel less lonely some how.
If you want to read this book and take drugs while reading this book, I have a theory that xanax would be the best drug to take.
Favorite line while she is casually watching "Nights in Rodanthe" on tv:
richard gere is kissing diane lane again, like spinning her around
i'm unsure of this movie's plot but it feels like someone has cancer.
February 28, 2012
I received this book for free from the goodreads first reads program.
I was excited when I saw this book on the giveaway page. I remember reading a review of this book that was pretty positive. Unfortunately I can't remember where I read it. Based on that review I entered the giveaway for this book. When I actually received the book in the mail, I was surprised. I did not realize that this is supposed to be a poetry book. Had I known that, I wouldn't have entered the giveaway. But since I had received it, I decided to read the book anyway.
Parts of the book are organized into fairly traditional paragraphs. Other parts read more like lists. With plenty of random thoughts thrown in.
It bothered me that the author did not use capital letters. If she was going to bother to use punctuation, why not use capitalization? I just don't care for poetry. Based on the other positive reviews of this book, I guess it does appeal to others, just not to me.
I was excited when I saw this book on the giveaway page. I remember reading a review of this book that was pretty positive. Unfortunately I can't remember where I read it. Based on that review I entered the giveaway for this book. When I actually received the book in the mail, I was surprised. I did not realize that this is supposed to be a poetry book. Had I known that, I wouldn't have entered the giveaway. But since I had received it, I decided to read the book anyway.
Parts of the book are organized into fairly traditional paragraphs. Other parts read more like lists. With plenty of random thoughts thrown in.
It bothered me that the author did not use capital letters. If she was going to bother to use punctuation, why not use capitalization? I just don't care for poetry. Based on the other positive reviews of this book, I guess it does appeal to others, just not to me.
June 1, 2013
jacob wrote a paired review for Mellow Pages Reviews with Jack Kerouac's DHARMA BUMS:
"I picture quite easily a scene in a low budget movie whereinwhich Megan Boyle is half-clothed lying on a bed (there are Christmas lights strung over an open window) and on the wind Jack Kerouac is summoning himself through a fit of Buddhist Shangri-La, into another, not-very-distant room, where he opens the tab labeled “Skype” and rings up little Megan with one very important question on his mind..."
find the rest here:
http://howthefuckdidweenduponasteambo...
"I picture quite easily a scene in a low budget movie whereinwhich Megan Boyle is half-clothed lying on a bed (there are Christmas lights strung over an open window) and on the wind Jack Kerouac is summoning himself through a fit of Buddhist Shangri-La, into another, not-very-distant room, where he opens the tab labeled “Skype” and rings up little Megan with one very important question on his mind..."
find the rest here:
http://howthefuckdidweenduponasteambo...
March 23, 2012
i really liked this book a lot
i heard my mum say when i was reading this book
'where is that jamaican music coming from oh sorry i thought it was you'
i came upstairs and read this book and it was light and then it was dark
lots of things which megan boyle said in this book made me think 'yes definitely' and also 'yes maybe' and also 'uh huh okay yes'
it seemed lonely and good
i don't know
i just had the worst sushi of ever today
orange sushi is the bad sushi
it seemed bad
it was a nice book and also i liked it a lot and also the end
i heard my mum say when i was reading this book
'where is that jamaican music coming from oh sorry i thought it was you'
i came upstairs and read this book and it was light and then it was dark
lots of things which megan boyle said in this book made me think 'yes definitely' and also 'yes maybe' and also 'uh huh okay yes'
it seemed lonely and good
i don't know
i just had the worst sushi of ever today
orange sushi is the bad sushi
it seemed bad
it was a nice book and also i liked it a lot and also the end
July 2, 2014
reading this collection of poetry -- it is indubitably poetry -- i found myself surprised at the almost crude similarity in the speaker's everyday thoughts and my own. i thought a lot about how older people seem to think all twenty-somethings are the same and how maybe they were right and i got very sad. boyle's skill for articulating emotions and thoughts in such a raw way is quite astounding.
i felt like i "knew" her as i was reading it and wished i knew her when i was finished with it.
it's a really excellent collection.
i felt like i "knew" her as i was reading it and wished i knew her when i was finished with it.
it's a really excellent collection.
May 25, 2012
As with anything published from Muumuu house I sit back after reading the book and stare at it with a puzzled look on my face. I don't know if I liked this book or not. I know I like Megan Boyle's writing but the book made my head swim. I feel like I need to be on some narcotic or psychedelic drug to true understand what is happening or to "get it".
September 29, 2012
I went on a bit of a journey with this title - at first I was resistant, quite self-consciously so, and thought it wasn't worth finishing. Then I started to laugh and to find themes and ideas that I could process. Finally I was thinking I do/think those exact same things!
It ended up being a great read, full of humor and humanity.
It ended up being a great read, full of humor and humanity.
December 10, 2012
I love this book. It's rare to read a book that feels like an x-ray of another person's psyche. Reading this book made me feel less lonely. If Megan wasn't being totally honest in this book she did a really good job of "tricking" us into thinking she was being honest, which is also impressive, I guess.
November 20, 2011
Ok, I was one of the ten winners in the giveaway for this book. I have to say I picked it because it was a poetry book according to the giveaway. I have to say I am a little disapointed with the book, it was not what I thought it was going to be. But I gave it a try and its just not for me.
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