Being Ana: A Memoir of Anorexia Nervosa

by Shani Raviv

"I passed by the full-length mirror on the wall near the door. I caught a glimpse of a very thin girl with dead, straight, long, dry peroxided hair and a skimpy outfit like a whorish doll. I turned sideways to look at her. I saw a child. I saw a witch. I saw a dumb blonde. It took a few seconds for my mind to register that the girl in the mirror was me. I looked her up and down. I was thin, blonde and tanned and I was still not happy." Being Ana is the story of one young woman's fight to find strength in vulnerability, truth in her identity and meaning in being herself. Shani Raviv is a struggling adolescent living in an eccentric, all-female, diet-free household in South Africa. At age fourteen, belonging to a girl clique, she gets hooked on a system of counting calories that traps her inside a crazed mind. Over the next decade, Shani embarks on an unholy pilgrimage: from aerobics addict to Israeli soldier to rave bunny to wannabe reborn, she tries to find self-worth in sex, everlasting happiness in drugs and alcohol, comfort in cutting, and above all, salvation in starving. A spiritual epiphany one night awakens her to the fearful realization that she has lost her sense of self to Anorexia (Ana). Shani has to decide whether to surrender and risk losing Ana-which was all she knew-to go in search of nourishment and her true self in a sane and sober world.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Africa

264 pages, Paperback

First published August 27, 2010

Reviews

[Lauren Hopkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three stars because it was well-written and not just mindless fluff but I didn't enjoy this at all and skimmed through the majority. It felt really self-indulgent and halfway through as I'm reading about everything that was going on in this person's life I was like "I really don't care though?" because like who is she, why is this important, why does it matter...I thought maybe I'm not much of a memoir fan but that's not true because in stories where someone goes through something genuine and makes it relatable and helps you see the change and the process, it's fantastic, but this does not do that at all unfortunately. It's a lot of new-agey "finding yourself" nonsense and I just can't with that. I guess if that's your thing you'll enjoy it?

[Brooklyn Byers · Rating 3 out of 5]

It felt more like an Autobiography at times which made me skim through parts but it was good when I got to the actual eating disorder parts

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

**I won this book in a Goodreads First Reads Giveaway.**

This was an incredible and enlightening read. While I knew that anorexia was a disease, I guess I never thought to signify it as an addiction, as well. This book was heartfelt and harrowing. And it is VERY well written. And - without going to deeply into the details - it's made me take a much deeper look into myself. I highly recommend this book. Seriously.

[Tina · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have read many, many books on addiction and I normally enjoy reading the "recovery" part more than the "disease" part.

However, with this book, it was the contrary. This book was okay until about 3/4 through and then it just got weird and boring.

For sure, I didn't particularly like the author (and the main character) at any point in this story, but that's okay. What i struggled with is the lack of emotion in this story. Even she is describing a disturbing or hard event, you get the impression she is like a robot, which I suppose is part of the story but it makes this story strangely distant.

[Tracy Verdev · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was bawling. There was so much of me in this book, I just came apart at the end. So grateful for people who are brave enough to show themselves raw and vulnerable, so that we can see ourselves in them, and know we are not alone. That's how we connect, and then we can celebrate together our triumphs.

[Brianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the only books about eating disorders I've read so far that actually touches upon recovery near the end - and what to expect if you choose recovery. She doesn't sugar coat anything and gives you the raw hard truth. I cried a little in the end because maybe there is hope for me - maybe anorexia won't be a part of me forever.

[Beth Medvedev · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe 2.5 as it wasn't terrible, it just didn't bring anything to the genre and I couldn't connect with a lot of it. I finished thinking "why did I just read that?"

[SW! · Rating 2 out of 5]

Idk, too long, to boring, I mean good for her.. but the book was not that great.

[Cavak · Rating 3 out of 5]

Raviv's book is for anyone curious about what goes on in the mind of someone suffering from Ana. Her experience with anorexia nervosa is her early adolescence to young adulthood, and it dominated her life to the point that she accepted it as her personal identity. Along with that came running away from her fears, drugs, and all sorts of self-abuse during the seventies and eighties. Raviv's entire life during that period is a haze, and she was half aware about her deteriorating health and close relationships. Even with her epiphany moment about herself, it still took years for her to fully commit herself to healing.

Honestly, I'm so sorry that this has happened to anyone. I got scared by how extreme it can be for certain people, especially this particular form of anorexia. I had no idea that the juxtaposition between their logical rationality and obsession for control could be this severe. For those who go through it, this book may sound all too familiar to them and that really brings me down. And knowing that my empathy may be ultimately ignored is worse. Thank you, Raviv, for sharing your story to the world. I'm so grateful that you have survived to provide this gift.

My main criticism is that her book could have more details about how she mentally approached her therapy stages. It takes about the final third of the book and it's comparatively sparse to her experiences being Ana. Just a bit more on her self-reflection on why exactly she had decided to change would be great since it may help provide some additional guidance and empathy for other anorexics who are reading it. The ending and epilogue of her healthy recovery made it worth it for me though. Some people may call it cheesy and cliché, and I did too. But I also thought it was earned.

By the way, I tried looking up that particular broadcast her mother had recorded due to curiosity, but I don't think I found it. I found this instead: https://youtu.be/vzjzSLqX0W4. The words "I think I can still live a normal life with anorexia, it's just a manner of determination" echoes what anorexic Raviv told herself and it still gets to me. BBC has plenty of other updated videos about anorexia that are still relevant to those who want to understand it.

I received the book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is the first selection from a clinical book club I'm in, and what a great pick! I found myself tearing up at the very last part of the book, the acknowledgments, realizing how far the author had come in healing from anorexia. Even with very different life experiences from the author, I could empathize with her need to be something than herself and for her life to be a journey to discover how to love herself. I think there is something very commonly human about that. It makes me think about if there are clients of mine who may get something valuable from reading this book even if anorexia is not their presenting issue. It also makes me think of all the externalizing behaviors I used to think represented a life well-lived, and think that with self-knowledge and self-love it really doesn't matter what countries you have traveled to, how many people you have slept with, how many drugs you've taken, etc. It is about finding your own piece of peace.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

So raw, real, & amazing.

As someone in recovery from an eating disorder, I found myself traveling emotionally with her from chapter to chapter. Things her treatment team said to her mirrored things my treatment team said to me & there are moments I had to put the book down just to protect myself mentally & emotionally. I cried, I hurt, parts of me healed. Definitely recommend this book to anyone out there who wants to know more about the reality of an eating disorder or is recovering themselves (and is in a good place/has support...def needed). People don't understand that eating disorders are so much more than just food/eating quirks. This book goes far beyond that & shows how deep it runs.

[Prpages · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't really know how to feel about this book. I love how it was written and I love people who are willing to tell their story in hopes of letting others benefit from that or at the very least learn something or relate to that which I felt like was happening in this book. I would have liked a little bit more clarification on some things. But overall I though it was a pretty strong standing book. There were times when it seemed a bit poetic which I admired and I like how she wasn't afraid to leave out some of the gritty details of her story. I admire her for that.

[Emilie · Rating 2 out of 5]

*** Caution: Spoilers!*** This wasn't the best book I ever read but I did really like the ending. Raviv does not shy away from the hard work of a full recovery which requires intensive therapy, and a full review of one's fears and damaging behavior patterns. During the recovery process, she rejects the negativity and criticism of others which alone is a test of a strength. This book really focuses on recovery which makes it more than merely a sensationalist piece about an illness that is often wrongfully glamorized by misguided individuals.

[Readingwilliam]

I liked the book. It's a memoir that reads like a novel. Everyone I know who has read it enjoyed it. It's a fast read—hard to put down. Shani writes a very endearing story of her struggles. The story is frank but most people don’t find it triggering, though many have commented that they found the cover itself triggering. I’m curious about other people’s experience. Is this story triggering? Does it point to True North?

[Emma Marsh · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is about a girl struggling with anorexia. She also deals with depression, anxiety, and cutting. The book goes into good detail about her disorder and moves along at a good pace but I found it boring sometimes and it was kind of repetitive. Reading this book made me realize how serious this issue really is and how extreme it can get. I kind of liked the book but it isn't one of my favorites.

[Lisa Mancini · Rating 4 out of 5]

Shani suffered from a disease that there are no walks to raise money for or ribbons to adorn. The story of her battle with this terrible disease was heart-breaking and heart-lifting. Her journey was long, difficult and, at times, hard to bare as a reader. She gave great insight into what havoc anorexia can cause in one's life and that of their family and friends. Good read.

[Katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unreadable. Cliched grade-school writing hides anything interesting or unique about this story.

[Katie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Unreadable. Cliched high-school essay writing appears to hide the interesting or unique aspects of the life lived.

[Erin Sehorn · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was really hoping for more on HOW she recovered, instead of how she was acting while in the throes of her addiction and disease. Not helpful for what I was looking for.

[Angela Gambrel · Rating 4 out of 5]

Re-reading this.

[Rochelle Kochin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Riveting story of a young woman overcoming anorexia.