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I'd Listen to My Parents If They'd Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens
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I'd Listen to My Parents If They'd Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens

really liked it 4.00  ·  Rating details ·  233 ratings  ·  40 reviews
A practicing clinical psychologist for children and adolescents, Anthony Wolf, author of the phenomenal bestseller Get Out Of My Life, But First Can You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? (“I love this book!” —Parenting Magazine) returns with another wise, funny, and eminently practical guide to raising and understanding teenagers. I’d Listen to My Parents If They’d Just Shu ...more
Paperback, 384 pages
Published November 1st 2011 by William Morrow Paperbacks (first published September 22nd 2010)
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Apr 15, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Probably the most helpful thing I've ever read. If I can follow the advice in this book I will survive the next four years. If you don't have a kid who acts like this, more power to you, but it it so nice to stop stressing constantly about whether "I should have showed her who's boss years ago" and if I don't do it now she will be permanently ruined. If he is right, which based on the results I've gotten so far I think he is, she will be fine and I can let that burden down at any rate.

Another on
Mar 14, 2012 rated it liked it
A great extension into teenagerisms from Wolf, whose model of "business parent" I am using with moderate success on my own kid. I hope my child does not grow up to be as foulmouthed and awful as the children in this book, but ... I'm not holding my breath. ...more
Shannon Wyss
May 21, 2019 rated it really liked it
My life partner and i are working on becoming foster parents, ideally to LGBTQA/GNC youth, which likely means teenagers. This terrifies me since i have so little experience with teens. Wolf's book has been really valuable in giving me what i hope are some practical skills and insight that will help parenting youth.

Biggest complaint: LGBTQA/GNC youth get about 2.5 pages, almost all of which is about gay boys. LBTQA teens are mostly or completely absent. This isn't really excusable, with as many
John Brian Anderson
Apr 01, 2018 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
This was too funny, after skimming this quickly I grabbed my 15-year-old daughter and we each read out parts. We started with "I hate you" and ended up in tears laughing so hard. So much of this is spot on that each of our roles was perfect. There are some families that book will not appeal to or the methods would not work, not me. This was part how-to and part group therapy! Not for everyone but if the shoe fits.... ...more
Feb 25, 2012 rated it really liked it
while i don't agree with everything the good doctor says, i do have to say that this book appeared at a very opportune time for us. his constant reminding to not let your teenager get your goat stuck in my head and helped me deal with some recent incidents without freaking out and/or blowing up.

we'll see how calm i can stay over the next few years... might have to re-read this a few times! :)
Jan 29, 2013 rated it liked it
Teenagers are fun. The author has some great strategies on what to say and NOT to say when dealing with your creativity verbal teenagers. I didn't agree with all of this philosophy and the teenagers in this book make mine seem like angels (especially in terms of language use) but some helpful methods. ...more
Aug 21, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Immediately changed my communications with my teen son. Compassionate, helpful, relevant advice. I live by his books!
Kim Nemeth
May 15, 2017 rated it really liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
Great book on parenting teenagers. The layout of chapters and sections makes it very easy to either read cover to cover or jump around to the sections most pressing to you at the time. The sample conversations give real life examples to demonstrate a better way of responding to your teen in many situations.

Highly recommended to anyone that converses, or attempts to, with teens.
Apr 25, 2018 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Apmēram trešā daļa grāmatas bija saistoša un izmantojama ikdienā, pārējais neaizķērās, bet varbūt tas jau ir daudz, bet lai sāktu vairāk izmantot padomus, vajag piedomāt un pārlasīt.

30% of the book was binding and usable in everyday life, the rest did not catch me, but maybe it's already a lot. To start using tips, you need to think more and read again.
Jul 30, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Helped me see my teenager in a different light; gave me hope and a new perspective and taught me the power of disengaging.
Dec 05, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: parenting
Incredible! It made me laugh out loud. Also, very insightful and full of practical advice. Should be required reading for every parent of teens.
Aug 25, 2020 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
An entertaining parenting book full of practical advice for parenting teens. It is very dialogue based, and humorous dialogue too! I definitely recommend it.
Dec 12, 2020 rated it really liked it
Helpful and insightful advise to consider for a mom of a teenager!
Leigh Anne
Mar 15, 2016 rated it liked it
A solid book on parent-teen communication, with a bit of slightly dated cultural content.

The only reason this book doesn't get four stars is because it contains a few eyebrow-raising statements that aren't exactly up to date. For starters, the assertion that girls don't really play video games is laughably absurd, especially in the wake of GamerGate. Slightly more troubling, however, is the short shrift given to gay teens. The chapter is woefully short, and focused almost solely on boys. Girls'
Mar 18, 2014 rated it it was ok
Unfortunately I couldn't get through this book...for being an "advice" book, it suffered from many flaws:

1) The organization is terrible. Meandering writing interspersed with too many examples of pseudo-conversation (see below).

2) The "advice" is buried in the text somewhere, without being called out and highlighted. For example, a summary at the end of each chapter should've been provided with a sentence or two in bold which said "Here's what we just discussed..."

3) The example conversations al
Nov 18, 2012 rated it really liked it
A family/marriage therpaist/counselor I know recommended this highly readable book to me. She was teaching a parenting class at our church and said this is a good book for parents of teens. I agree. I learned some things I wish I had known as I was dealing with my oldest three children (now adults). As it is, perhaps, after reading this book, I can now be a more calm and effective parent with the youngest (age sixteen). Warning, Dr. Wolf does put dialogue in this book that contains swearing and ...more
Aug 07, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Updated and expanded companion to "Get Out of My Life"

This book touches on a lot of the themes of Get Out of My Life, but goes into more depth. It also talks about newer issues, like social media and electronics. Highly recommend it. These two books have helped me during the adolescent years like nothing else has. I re-read them regularly. Nothing has been more spot-on as far as defining the parent-teen struggle or more reassuring to me as a parent that adolescence is what it is for a reason and
Sep 07, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: family
There was some good advice but overall I didn't see it applying to our family. The author must see some rowdy kids because most of the examples were kids dropping the f-bomb on their parents. Most of the kids I have been around just don't talk to their parents in that manner. Or the author just got a kick out of using the word over and over again - which was pretty unnecessary. I have read better parenting books for sure. ...more
I am not a big fan of these types of books and this one in not much of an exception. This is the same advice re-warmed for a new generation of paranoid parents. That said,there are a few good points to this book, especially the advice on WHAT to say during "THE TALK" and how to put it. Pretty much if you have teens, this book would be better applied to their backside when needed. ...more
Joan  2
Jan 16, 2012 rated it liked it
In some ways I really liked this book. It was funny and somewhat affirming to read about situations that were practically word for word the same as our family! It made me chuckle! Unfortunately the answers were just not there. Not even hinted at. My conclusion is, there is no answer for raising teens! Maybe I just had a bad day though, I am raising teens.
Jan 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
A readable and fairly funny book for those in the trenches. Most parents of teens will see at least partial glimpses of their offspring. Very practical tips for dealing with the inevitable conflict of this age, as well as handling the more difficult subjects of substance abuse, relationships, and electronics.
Mar 18, 2012 rated it really liked it
It's not a perfect book, but I enjoyed it. I think I found it useful primarily because I'm not quite there yet. I chose this book to prepare for the teen years. Once I'm in the throes of them, I suspect I'll need something a bit meatier. But for now, this worked. A good resource for parents who are staring the tween years in the face. ...more
Jan 27, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This book is the best parenting book I have found. It is written by a therapist, and therefore has a lot of disturbing examples of teenage behavior. However, it has a lot of good strategies for dealing with the usual stuff: chore avoidance, arguing, negativity, being consistent, knowing when to say yes, and being a loving parent in spite of all of the garbage kids dish out.
Oct 08, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Very helpful, practical advice for dealing with a teenager. Really helped me get inside my son's head and understand what this crazy time of life is like for him. Definitely changed my parenting behavior. This book is very similar to his earlier one ("Get Out of My Life, But First Can You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall"), but a little more specific and up to date. ...more
Nov 25, 2013 rated it really liked it
There's a lot of great advice in this book. It's probably too permissive but using his techniques sounds like they will really help reduce verbal conflict. I admit I skipped the chapters on sex and drugs but I have it on my kindle and will return, hopefully not for a while. ...more
Rachelle Meyer
Feb 01, 2016 rated it it was amazing
There is tons of great advice in this book. I read a library copy and will be buying it now so I can tag, highlight, and read again and again. My daughters are 5 and 9 and it has already been a great help.
Sep 05, 2016 rated it really liked it
There are some nuggets of great advice mixed in with humorous and wordy staged-but-familiar situations. This book would benefit from a final chapter where all the actual advice is condensed into one paragraph for each item. What do you do? Why do you do it?
Jan 03, 2012 rated it did not like it
This book is a very entertaining read... but I don't recommend it because I don't agree with much of what he recommends. ...more
Ally Marie
Apr 22, 2012 rated it liked it
Easy to read, good examples throughout the book.
Sep 26, 2012 rated it it was amazing

I'm only on page 9 and I love this book, thumbs up!!
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Published in the UK as Tony Wolf

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