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No More Mr. Nice Guy

4.05  ·  Rating details ·  8,900 ratings  ·  598 reviews
Originally published as an e-book that became a controversial media phenomenon, No More Mr. Nice Guy! landed its author, a certified marriage and family therapist, on The O'Reilly Factor and the Rush Limbaugh radio show. Dr. Robert Glover has dubbed the "Nice Guy Syndrome" trying too hard to please others while neglecting one's own needs, thus causing unhappiness and resentfulness. ...more
Hardcover, 208 pages
Published January 8th 2003 by Running Press Adult (first published November 30th 2000)
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Howard Chasser It was a game changer for me. I believe many if not most men would benefit from reading it. It talks about the gender impact of the shift from an…moreIt was a game changer for me. I believe many if not most men would benefit from reading it. It talks about the gender impact of the shift from an agrarian economy to an industrial one where women have become the predominant role models for both boys and girls leading to many "nice guys" who do not always act so "nice" and a breakdown in male female relationships. One of my top 3!(less)

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Amber Lea
Jul 12, 2014 rated it it was ok
Let's get real: this is a book about men being upset about being treated like women.

Like oh, you don't like having to shove down your feelings and constantly cater to the desires of another gender? That's because it sucks, welcome to womanhood. Maybe the solution isn't more fathers to teach "men how to be men," it's to stop treating women like they exist to fulfill the needs and desires of men. Which yes, is a solution this book works toward but the author doesn't seem to have a whol
...more
Sandeep
Aug 29, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was a must read for me and made me realize the struggles and ordeals a "Mr. Nice Guy" goes through in all phases of his life. This book resonated with me because I was a Nice Guy throughout my high school years and early college life. I didn't understand back then why I was getting rejected by women, why I was settling making friends with people I didn't like, and why I felt afraid to get into arguments with my family. I knew the Nice Guy life was painful, but I thought that was the right w ...more
Emma Sea
Apart from not using "Nice Guy" in the title (ugh), I wish someone had said to Glover, "You know the part where you compare a man's relationship with his wife to him teaching a dog not to piss on the floor? Yeah . . . don't do that. No, seriously. Don't do that."

God, I wish I was exaggerating:

"For example, if a person gives his dog a treat when he pisses on the carpet, the dog will keep pissing on the carpet. The same is true for humans. If the Nice Guy reinforces his partner's undesira/>"For
...more
Eli
Nov 06, 2013 rated it did not like it
The basic premise of Glover's work is established on the existence of a phenomena known to the author as 'The Nice Guy Syndrome'. According to him, because many men as children did not get their 'needs met in a timely, judicious manner', their minds have been conditioned to believe that they are the cause of this inadequacy; that they are not worthy of what they want, nor are they capable of getting it. He also argues (agreeably, I think) that the increasing absence of fathers in the lives of t ...more
Hans
Oct 26, 2015 rated it it was amazing
LOVED THIS BOOK! Maybe because for a good portion of my life I've been a Perennial "Nice Guy". I'd recommend this book in a heartbeat to more people than I can name. And Ladies, before getting nervous that this book implies "How to be a Jerk", it totally isn't. On the contrary this is a book about how "Nice Guys" have, through long post-modern cultural indoctrination, lost their voice and how to get it back.

This is a book written by a Therapist, not a Macho-Womanizing-Player. Dr. Robert Glover
...more
Hatem Shawkat
May 09, 2017 rated it liked it
No More Nice guy!

This book is discuses the idea of being a Very nice person to everyone you treat with and that can make you a goalless person and you will have no ability to say "NO" to anyone and that makes you achieve nothing in your life ...

SO

you have to do 2 steps

1-note that someone exploits you

2-Tell him "I know you are exploiting me -in his face- and I don`t like that"

And only do your best treatment with the person who deserve it.

But I see that can turn a man into a bad
...more
Payam
Jan 19, 2013 rated it liked it
The book provides a clear diagnosis of the "Mr. Nice Guy" syndrome and reveals you the truth about it: "Mr. Nice Guy" is not nice at all. In fat, "Nice Guy" is a misnomer. The "Nice Guy" utilize manipulation and covert contracts to achieve what he wants, rather than being direct and properly articulating his needs. "Mr. Nice Guy" is not satisfied and utilizes methods that only backfire on himself. Fortunately, the author provides some solutions.

The key methods to stop being a "Nice G
...more
Aaron Culley
Jan 09, 2013 rated it did not like it
Compared to the numerous other self help books I have read, this is up there as being the worst, repetitive nonsense about being "abandon" when we are children, I wasn't (no I'm not in denial).
No finished this book, only up to page 32, feels a chore to get through, avoid buying this book, look for better alternatives.

A quick quote from the book, "all nice guys have shame and fear about being sexual and about being sexual beings", am a nice guy and I don't have fear or shame, fa
...more
Shannon Burton
Sep 06, 2014 rated it really liked it
No self-help is gospel, but when a phenomenon is NAMED and no longer ambiguous-that's 4 stars.

Nice work, Dr Glover.
Morgan Blackledge
Aug 30, 2015 rated it really liked it
It's been about 6 or 7 years since I read this book. So I don't remember much about it other than I liked it and was inspired by the authors story about how it took him like 10 years to write it and his wife had to threaten divorce before he got off his perfectionist ass and finished it.

I was kind of shocked to see all of the extremely negative reviews. So I decided to chuck some stars up there for the author. Four of em to be exact. ****

Here's to every guy who starts out a pussy, b
...more
Sohaib
This book is the perfect practical follow-up to Robert Bly's Iron John: A Book About Men. This is because Bly explains the initiation journey of men in the poetic story of the Wild Man, which might seem far-fetched and difficult to put into practice at times. Glover here, on the other hand, presents practical steps for modern man to take on this journey and the psychological implications behind the Nice Guy phenomenon. In other words, in Iron John, man may be left wondering sometimes and asking, What to ...more
Jonathan Karmel
Nov 03, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Characteristics: According to this book, “Nice Guys” have a set of personality traits that they need to change in order to improve their lives. They think of themselves as doing everything “right,” giving to other people, taking care of other people and trying to help other people by fixing other people’s problems. But underneath the surface, they actually are desperately seeking approval from others, especially women. A Nice Guy’s life revolves around trying to please a woman and make her happy ...more
Victoriano
Dec 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
I'm going to be completely honest and say that I had a slight aversion to the title of this book. The use of the term 'Nice Guy' in common discourse is usually an irritating (if not downright dangerous) misnomer for self-righteous, one-dimensional men. These men are usually moralistic and entitled 'victims', waiting for someone to tell them that it's alright to be ineffective and destructive because they've earned it as their personal experience suggests that being accommodating is unrewarding.< ...more
Paul
Second read: 7/1/18
This is one of those foundational books that I read at a time when I really needed to find myself. Five years later it still offers up some great insight that grounds me. I've been feeling detached from myself as a man and needed to read this to realign my thinking properly. The core of this book is about letting go of the desire for people to accept you and to just be you without any strings attached to others. To do things that you want to do and not to do things for t
...more
Sean Goh
May 02, 2014 rated it liked it
Nice guys do things for women expecting something in return.
Don't do that. Don't delegate your happiness to others.

And I forgot the rest. Which is details.

tl;dr: Don't be a pussy.
Jim Bob
Mar 02, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: self-development
This might be the most important book I've ever read, the amount of insight I gained from reading this can't be expressed in just words. I would recommend every man, even if you don't think you're a nice guy, reads this. You may be surprised at what you uncover.
Vlad Stepanov
Aug 28, 2019 rated it liked it
Shelves: manhood
The book was OK. It had a few good point, and a few that I don't agree with it. You do have to take care of yourself, but I feel that this book tells men that it's OK to be selfish and put yourself first.
Cary Grant
Nov 05, 2014 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Another Psycho Babble Cure Anything Book

If you love psycho babble books then you will love this book. But if you are a thinking and rational person then you will find this book worthless. Typical pop psychology claims to solve any and all problems through the use of just a few simple principles that cannot possibly do what the author claims. I have a Master's in Psychology and counseling experience and this book ignores so many aspects of psychology, life, and common sense that it is ridicu
...more
Jason Wicky
Mar 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing
This book really resonates with me as I tend to be a pleasing nice guy who avoid conflict. Though the writing isn't fantastic, at least the advices were logical and not sexual centered or ask you to be a Jerk.
Andrew
Feb 04, 2016 rated it really liked it
An insightful read that may change your perspective on yours and others behaviours.
Arto Bendiken
All too many young (and not so young) Western men really and truly ought to read this book. This transcends self-help: it is self-debugging in the form of having a giant mirror of truth held up to your psyche while you re-evaluate your life and try to keep the cognitive dissonance at bay.

Having been raised as a second-generation Nice Guy in a hyperfeminist society, I intimately recognize and acknowledge a number of the symptoms of Nice Guy Syndrome as laid out by Glover. Fortuitously
...more
Srivatsan Sridharan
May 13, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Like many psychology/self-help books out there, No More Mr. Nice Guy has a fat layer of "this is going to change your life" marketing fluff. But if you are patient enough to work through it, the book has a lot of substance. Substance that can blow your mind. The reason it blew my mind is that the book is extremely relatable and targeted at folks like me - "the nice guys", who seem to be programmed to please people, who are afraid to make mistakes, and beat themselves up if they do. The author ap ...more
Dennis Williams
May 09, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
What every nice guy needs to hear

I came to this book after my wife asked me what my real goal in life was in the next couple of decades prior to retirement. I couldn't say, and couldn't even dredge up a dream that I thought was possible. It occurred to me that there was something wrong with that.

Upon reading through Glover's labor of love, I could identify quite a few "nice guy" characteristics in my own way of operating. By the end, I am excited to reread the book, do the activ
...more
Giedrius Padriezas
It is for men. Actually for all men who feel that something is not right in their life. This book puts plenty of men to the 'Nice Guys' category and really does not draw a line. Not an elite book as it is quite one dimensional, but there is bunch of things to like.

By putting an emphasis on assertiveness, integrity and following your own desires, it portrays a proper road towards happier and more fulfilling life without resentment and doubt.

Will pick up one or few advice a
...more
Alexandru
Jan 25, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Helped me view myself for what I was at that moment: a perfect, pure Nice Guy. Found a lot of hurting truths for me along the way, but also found a lot of solutions to help fix that and break free of the Nice Guy Sindrome which posessed me. I am now on my way to getting my needs met, being authentic and getting what I want in love and life. I reccomend it to anyone (male or female) who desires to get a better sense of him/herself and understand those around.
Gabriel Fernandez
Apr 25, 2017 rated it did not like it
This book is a load of BS. I had to tear the pages to avoid anybody reading this psycho-garbage. I gave it the benefit of the doubt at the beginning, but after three chapters I had to stop. I cannot believe this guy is a counselor.

Read this one instead:
https://www.google.com/search?q=love+...
Hrannar Baldursson
Jan 13, 2018 rated it really liked it
As I started reading this book, I thought it was about me, since I consider myself to be a pretty nice guy, but as I read further it became clear that it was not about me at all. Its about men who without realising it are simply nice by nature, and for that reason are taken advantage of in many situations. Nice guys have difficulties winning, since they give too much, and not so nice guys grab their stuff while running passed them.

This book is about men who happen to be nice guys, and dont nece
...more
Oleg
Feb 18, 2014 rated it it was ok
Very insightful in places, but in other places goes facepalmingly overboard with (probably unintentional) sexism and unsubstantiated notions about how human psychology works. Also, the author's worldview seems quite conservative in some regards, and it shows.

However, it still managed to shed some light on things I used to do in the past that I'm not proud of, despite the fact that some things about this book annoyed me. If one keeps his/her critical thinking faculties about them, the
...more
Kim
Nov 24, 2014 rated it really liked it
I admit that I was a little skeptical when I read the title, but was hooked after reading just a few pages. This author did an incredible job offering practical insights and activities to men who want to get what they want out of life, love, sex, and career. But not just any men. "Nice guys." And the author isn't meaning nice, as in kind. He is talking about the guy who does everything for everybody in public and then goes home and is withdrawn from his wife to avoid intimacy. He talks about the ...more
Henrik
Dec 05, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: self-help
Reread September 23, 2013 + August 15, 2014: Yes, quite useful, all in all. No better, no worse than first time I read it.

Original review:

Generally a good read, with lots of useful advice for "Nice Guys" who deserve much better. There's quite a lot of repetitiveness, though, which for me lowers the value of the book. But I'm sure it makes it useful if you're going to check the various chapters separately once in a while.

The title sounds like this is a book about man-being-an-insensiti/>Original
...more
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“In general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual's life energy.

Humans connect with humans. Hiding one's humanity and trying to project an image of perfection makes a person vague, slippery, lifeless, and uninteresting.”
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“1If it frightens you, do it.   2Don't settle. Every time you settle, you get exactly what you settled for.   3Put yourself first.   4No matter what happens, you will handle it.   5Whatever you do, do it 100%.   6If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got.   7You are the only person on this planet responsible for your needs, wants, and happiness.   8Ask for what you want.   9If what you are doing isn't working, try something different. 10Be clear and direct. 11Learn to say "no." 12Don't make excuses. 13If you are an adult, you are old enough to make your own rules. 14Let people help you. 15Be honest with yourself. 16Do not let anyone treat you badly. No one. Ever. 17Remove yourself from a bad situation instead of waiting for the situation to change. 18Don't tolerate the intolerable — ever. 19Stop blaming. Victims never succeed. 20Live with integrity. Decide what feels right to you, then do it. 21Accept the consequences of your actions. 22Be good to yourself. 23Think "abundance." 24Face difficult situations and conflict head on. 25Don't do anything in secret. 26Do it now. 27Be willing to let go of what you have so you can get what you want. 28Have fun. If you are not having fun, something is wrong. 29Give yourself room to fail. There are no mistakes, only learning experiences. 30Control is an illusion. Let go; let life happen. It” 11 likes
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