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Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage

3.28  ·  Rating Details ·  172 Ratings  ·  35 Reviews
The truth behind the lies.

It was an unforgettable scene. Dina Matos McGreevey, an attractive woman in her mid-thirties, wife, mother, and First Lady of the state of New Jersey, watched silently as her husband, then New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, resigned his office with the revelation that he was a "gay American." The picture of grace and loyalty, perfectly compose
ebook, 304 pages
Published May 1st 2007 by Hyperion (first published 2007)
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Nov 25, 2014 Lisa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
This is what a memoir should be! Instead of an autobiography providing a general overview of life, this was a detailed period of years. It succeeded at being intimate (without being crass.) Dina's writing and sharing of her story made me feel as if I knew her as a person.

I am pleased that her ex-husband is now living authentically as a gay man. But to me, the focus was not about his coming out. It is about a spouse keeping secrets. It is about partners not communicating. That's why it hit home,
Aug 02, 2011 Kathie rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
If you are looking for a chronology of Dina Matos' short stint as first lady of New Jersey and her cold, half-involved marriage to a gay man, Governor Jim Mcgreevy read on. I found this a pitiful account of a person who wrote a bitter memoir of "poor me". I found the claimed "homelessness" of someone who insisted on buying a $400,000+ home, when she was broke, unsettling. I found the entire book to be an elitist, self-centered view on her woes, in order, and including every detail of "he said, t ...more
Mar 17, 2009 Therese rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: memoir
The criteria to judge this kind of book is, was it gossipy enough?
And yes, it was, despite McGreevey's early declaration that she isn't the kind to tell secrets. Forgive her, for she is scorned. Now I'm going to read the book her husband wrote about his side.

I think I'll probably still think he's a dick, tho.
Jan 28, 2008 Denise rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: everybody
Recommended to Denise by: nobody
I couldn't put this one down! It's a memoir by the ex/soon-to-be-ex wife of the ex-governor of New Jersey who came out as a gay. Can you IMAGINE having no idea your husband is gay! Hard to believe, isn't it? But read her book (and hopefully see this as a made-for-Lifetime movie) and you'll learn that she was one woman wronged. I also read his memoir.
Jun 19, 2009 Nancy rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Now I have to read his side of the story. Each marriage has two sides.
Carrie Solinger
I saw an episode of "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?" involving the scandal involving New Jersey's 51st Governor, Jim McGreevey. As the "wronged" spouse, Dina Matos McGreevey provided her perspective on how she discovered, and how she reacted, when her husband turned out to be something completed different than what her portrayed to the world and her.

I was intrigued. I remotely remember this scandal when it became national and international headlines for the same reasons that all scandals become sal
May 01, 2011 Jackie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is the memoir of Dina Matos McGreevey wife of James McGreevey who was the Governor of NJ from 2002-2004.

Dina writes about her marriage with McGreevey and how happy she thought they were. How during her pregnancy with their daughter he would run out for hours and could not be traced nor would he pick up his cell phone when SHE called. How she wasn't allowed to have a copy of his daily calendar nor have access to any of HIS financial information including anything pertaining to assetts and ba
Dina, Dina, Dina. How could you not see that the man you married was just a bit off? Granted, there were no signs that he was a closet homosexual, but Dina do you remember when he never actually never asked you to marry him? Instead he asked your friend, Lori, to ask you for him. That strange move would have had me heading for the door. In all the time you dated you never met his daughter. How long did it take for that to occur - 6 years? Oh there were signs, you just closed your eyes to all of ...more
Sarah Jane
We have all heard the saying, "listen to your gut instinct", hadn't she??! I wanted to slap and then hug this woman! Several times she states, "I just didn't see the signs". Yes, yes she did see the signs, she just completely ignored them. She accepted a proposal from a man that asked her to marry him through a friend. He never did technically ask her. And what woman puts up with her husband visiting and communicating privately with his ex-wife, who still wears her wedding ring?! It's absurd. As ...more
Feb 15, 2013 Dionne rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: political-memoir
I watched an episode of "Who the Bleep Did I Marry?" where Dina Matos McGreevey shared her story of being married to New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey and the scandal that followed. It inspired me to pick up her book at the library.

I was impressed with Dina's strength of character as she dealt with a husband who lied to her their entire marriage. It wasn't just that he was gay and had an affair, but he was deceptive about almost everything.

I thought Dina was very genuine and it was interesting
Feb 23, 2009 Gina rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I vaguely remember hearing about this scandal when it occurred in 2004. A year or two ago, I saw Dina on Oprah and wanted to read her memoir. I finally got around to it last week.

I gave it four stars mostly because I think someone has to be really brave to come forth with this sort of memoir. The writing was actually pretty good. I just was repulsed at how insensitive her husband was (is?) and how deceitful he was (again, is?) I realize I'm only getting her perspective, and part of me feels like
Chris Witkowski
If you want to read a case study in extreme denial, pick up this surprisingly well written account of Dina Matos McGreevey's life with the former governor of NJ who was forced to resign after admitting to a homosexual affair. Gave the book three stars for its decent writing, but the story itself is so disturbing and infuriating it was hard to read without wanting to pick up the phone and calling Dina to scream "how could you be so stupid?" Let's hope women in our society will stop being The Good ...more
Nov 09, 2014 Lesley rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: true-stories
Wow! As I read this woman's story I took pity to her but I was seeing a lot of signs of an unhealthy relationship (him gay or not) and she was in some deep denial at the time. She either made excuses for his behaviors or didn't question it. Interesting story of her time as first lady of new Jersey. I read a lot of concerning stuff about her husband--this guy was a jerk and she is better off. I feel bad for the kid --not because dad is gay but he is very self absorbed part time dad.
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Hedy preble
Jul 30, 2007 Hedy preble rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
She does a really good job of portraiting him as a jerk and it is amazing that she held with him as long as she did... His being gay is not the real issue of her book but the pointing out of what a jerk he was throughout their courtship and subsequent marriage. The book will make you angry at his stupidity and lack of feelings for her .
Nov 30, 2013 Laurie rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was an excellent book, albeit a sad one. This poor woman endured much pain and humiliation after believing she was married to her Prince Charming. It was scary to think how someone (her husband) could lead such a scandalous double life. This book will make you think carefully about who you choose as a life partner.
Sep 07, 2008 Mary rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I believe she should have picked up on her husband's homosexuality before he came out; but I do feel for her and her daughter. Being an immigrant, she may have been more trusting than she should have been. She led a luxurious lifestyle and I hope she can learn to cope to live with less; because most of us do.
Jul 18, 2008 Sanz rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Azurdee recommended this. It's written by the wife of the former gov of New Jersey that said he was a "gay American." She had no clue.
It's very interesting to me that she knew so little about her husband. I guess he was pretty good at deceiving people. Their lives seemed really separate so it's not surprising that he was able to get away with so much.
Apr 10, 2009 Kari rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
What an eye opener. Dina Matos did a good job explaining how she could have been completely unaware of her husband's "true" nature. I agree with her decision to tell her side of the story, and yet at times it felt like she was still explaining decisions she made as First Lady of New Jersey (e.g. wearing expensive clothes, completely remodeling the Governor's mansion...).
Jan 23, 2013 Robin rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read Jim McGreevey's book and Dina Matos' book back to back one weekend so I can get both of their stories. After reading their stories, I think the truth is somewhere in between. I will say I liked her book more.
Jen Mazza
Jul 27, 2013 Jen Mazza rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
There are two sides to every story. Pretty much everyone out there already knows Jim McGreevey's side. It's truly interesting to take a look at this widely publicized scandal from the other perspective.
Jan 05, 2013 Janet rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I recommend this book highly. My marriage and divorce were very similar to the author's and I found her account to be accurate, insightful and fair. If you wonder about straight spouse/gay spouse relationships, this book will answer your questions.
Feb 05, 2008 Ana rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
It's not the best book in the world but it's interesting. You'll find yourself calling the author an idiot through most of the book though.
Jill deResendes
Apr 02, 2008 Jill deResendes rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is great. I highly recommend it.
Good book. It was interesting all the "signs" there were before the confession. Although, when you believe in someone, you tend not to notice, or rationalize them up down and sideways.
Pochocho88 Saavedra
my gosh, i feel for her!!!! i didn't know that lies can be pushed to an extreme...
May 18, 2011 Rebecca rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Interesting so far.... I have always wanted to know her story
May 29, 2007 Jenny marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
I heard an interview with her on NPR and it was really intriguing. I don't know if I agree/believe a lot of her story, but I feel the same way about her husband. We'll see...
Oct 15, 2011 Bridget rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed seeing her side of the story. I've also read her ex husbands book, but her's was more honest, candid and more enjoyable read.
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