Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free

by Tim Chester

Pornography is everywhere. Far too many Christians regularly use and are addicted to it, warping their perception of sexuality and relationships, destroying marriages and ministries. But Christians who struggle with porn also long for change. When we realize the unfulfilling emptiness of porn, we come to yearn for freedom from it. But what do we do? Tim Chester says that we can be captured by a better vision--a liberating confidence that God offers more than pornography does. Moving beyond pat answers or mere willpower, Chester offers spiritual, practical and corporate resources for living porn free. He exposes the false promises of porn and redirects us to the true promises of God. With assurance of God's grace and cleansing power, we can change our desires and escape the traps and temptations of pornography. However great the challenge, God's grace is even greater. And we can come to a place where we no longer feel the need to use porn. Close the window on porn. And open the door to freedom, integrity and new life.

Genres: Christian, Theology, Counselling, Christian Living, Sexuality, Nonfiction, Christianity

151 pages, Paperback

First published March 19, 2010

About the author

Dr Tim Chester is involved in The Crowded House, a church planting initiative in Sheffield, UK. He was previously Research & Policy Director for Tearfund UK, and has been published widely on prayer, mission, social issues and theology. He is married to Helen and has two daughters.

Reviews

[Paulo Asafe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Que livro sensacional! Tim Chester escreve com graça e sabedoria! É um livro excelente para quem tem problemas com pornografia, mas também para quem está ajudando alguém assim! Ele convida a todos a substituir a pornografia pela Glória de Deus! Livro excelente, 5 estrelas!

[Débora Abreu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Um livro VERDADEIRAMENTE fantástico. Simples, claro, objetivo e com muitas reflexões. Com certeza um dos melhores que já li.
Recomendo demais!!!

[Raphael Dantas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Um livro excelente! Tim Chester traz neste livro, de forma bíblica, como o crente deve combater a pornografia, como ela nos destrói e nos afasta de Deus. Sempre argumentando de forma teológica e com aplicações práticas.
Recomendo a todos que sofrem com o vício e para aqueles que querem saber mais de como aconselhar um irmão em Cristo.

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really, really good. Very astute. Very theologically sound. Very practical.

Would have loved to see him dive in a little bit into the scientific side of both the struggles and the solutions, in terms of understanding how the brain works, retraining reward centers, etc. But overall, the biggest and most important factors are addressed.

The most encouraging and helpful part of this for me was the reminders of the greater joy and satisfaction that is found in intimacy with Christ. There is nothing and no one greater or better than Jesus.

[Chris Little · Rating 4 out of 5]

The prevalence of pornography in our electronic age is an important matter for the whole of society, and even more so for Christians who know that sexuality is a wonderful gift from God that can be awfully twisted into ugliness.

Chester is not all about 'a technique' to stop porn in one's life. But he does not mock techniques, either, but places them in a better whole-of-life context. Use the skills (like accountability software, etc), but use them as tools in the bigger picture of life with Christ.

Chester's five broad topics are, in my words: hate porn, love God, trust God, actively avoid porn, get help. As is clear, there are reasons why, and there are tips how. And both are important.

Chester quotes extensively from people who completed an on-line survey for him, and this illustrates his points nicely while introducing a chatty feel to parts of the book. This complements the parts which are more solid sections of thoughtful argument.

I have a few criticisms, but none of them are major.

Though a shortish book, about 160 pages, I think it could have been edited a bit more. The chapters seem to have long introductions before getting to the major point. And those intros don't always really tightly connect to the main point, in my view.

Chester acknowledges that porn is a problem for both men and women, and can be expressed in 'non-porn' ways (like romance novels, or underwear junk mail). But I certainly had the sense this book was more about blokes with porn problems. If there was some editing out (above), then the book could edit in more on women's experiences of porn.

Chester takes the line of Genesis 2:18 - that it was not good for the man to be alone - to mean he was lonely, needing companionship. That's a tempting preaching point, believe me!, but is probably not the point of the text.

But to finish with negatives would be way off - this is a good book, on an important topic, written with gospel-shaped truth, which shows love to all touched by the damaging scourge of pornography.

[Tyler Brown · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been looking for a resource to use to work through with young men that are struggling with porn use. I think this is the resource I have been looking for! It is short: 146 pages. Chester does a great job showing us the five tools that are needed to win the battle with porn. 1) Abhorrence of porn; 2) Adoration of God; 3) Assurance of grace; 4) Avoidance of temptation; and 5) Accountability to others. He shows us how most of us try to find a single "silver bullet" instead of using all 5 of these tools. I found his first section on abhorrence the most helpful. The second section has a awesome chart on six false promises made by porn which I plan to use to help people think about their underlying heart issues that keep them enslaved to pornography.

[Peter Yock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Still my go-to book for dealing with this (awful) issue. I’ve read and discussed it with a LOT of guys in the last decade. Gospel-centred and highly practical. My only complaint is it needs an update due to tech changes since written.

[Fernando · Rating 5 out of 5]

Uma enxurrada de Bíblia, graça e responsabilidade.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this to be one of the better books on this topic. Chester does a wonderful job of mixing theology and practical steps for change. The book is built around five key tenets for "closing the window" on pornography. The greatest strength of this book is that Chester digs down to the underlying reasons people turn to porn, exposing the lies that are involved. But he doesn't stop here because he applies the gospel as the antidote to the lies that drive people to porn. In the final chapter of the book, Chester develops a theology around beauty, sex, marriage, singleness, and the glory of God, which are essential elements in the battle for sexual purity.

One warning is that Chester is at time blunt and "frank." (he provides this warning himself in the introduction) However, this serve an important purpose in the book as Chester exposes the seriousness of this sin. Overall, this is a very important book not only for those currently enslaved to pornography and sexual sin, but also for those walking with people who struggle, and even for those seeking to strengthen themselves in the fight.

[Jimmy · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brief but full resource; great for those who are shepherding others or married to someone struggling in this arena too. Chester pairs the philosophical/theological with the right amount of practical wisdom and admonishment. The thoughts here sparked good conversations with the men I’ve been counseling. Read it with others, be intentional about reflecting and discussing, and you will likely find great encouragement, wisdom, and growth in doing so.

As an aside, I’ve found much of the book personally useful in tackling a variety of sins; so there are practical applications for the one who is not struggling directly with porn/lust.

[Júlio Cesar · Rating 5 out of 5]

Livro bem escrito, bem pesquisado e com uma linguagem acessível. A divisão do livro é boa, pois cada capítulo funciona como uma parte independente, mas o sentido total só é alcançado juntando todos. Os relatos de experiências ao longo do livro também são muito úteis.

[Giovanni Casimiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nunca li muitos livros sobre esse assunto, mas este com certeza tornou-se um livro excelente. O livro é claro, te confronta e te leva ao caminho da graça.

[Mārtiņš Ābols]

Useful for counselor as well as the one needing counsel.

[André Mello · Rating 5 out of 5]

O melhor livro que eu já li sobre o assunto.
Com muitos exemplos práticos e atuais.
Excelente material para estudar em grupo.
Chester anima os corações sem esperança e dá um verdadeiro manual de luta pela santidade e pureza!

[Kiefer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you know someone or you yourself are caught in a place where you are struggling. Struggling to really break away from a sin that is ruining your life, relationships, and well you/their being. You need to take the time to read this book. It delves into what pornography does to our minds. It skews our relationships with our spouses or future spouses. It leads to place where you should be a protector and your turn into a potential threat. It reinforces the idea of not fighting this on your own. Your will never be enough. Tim leads us back to the cross, and turns to GOSPEL POWER AND ACCOUNTABILITY to help you in this every day battle.

[J.S. Park · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tim Chester, in the vein of his previous work You Can Change, tackles the specific sin of sexual addiction and pornography. With a much clearer focus and a smoother writing style, Chester offers some practical wisdom wrapped up in very heavy doctrine. Where as Craig Gross offers more pragmatic methodology, Tim Chester thoroughly covers the necessary theology. This is like the flipside of the coin for breaking addiction.

Chester this time around relies less on platitudes (though still uses them) and gets into the gritty business of porn addiction. With plenty of quotes from everyday people and some of the stats we've grown used to, Chester makes sure to attack the problem at its root: our identity. Porn addiction is "self-worship," and without a recognition of such an abominable condition, we can't hope to overcome. The book is clear about this from start to finish.

There are no shortcuts here. Those who want to quit porn and wake up out of hyper-sexual patterns cannot just check off a list of actions. While we cannot do less than that, there is an internal alignment that is fixated on some seriously wrong paradigms. It must turn -- repent -- to the truth. Chester does a great job, even if at times wordy, of describing such biblical truth.

Chester does sometimes get his feet off the ground in heavy theology and this tends to come off overly preachy, as if we needed to be chided some more about God's Will. This is where the work of Craig Gross contrasts the most because it breathes like a real person who is offering grace instead of a motherly slap. I wish there would have been more of Chester's personal journey to share his own struggles with porn, which would've been an epic conclusion. But he only briefly spends a page on it.

Bottom line: This is another worthwhile book on quitting porn through the power of Christ. It covers the theology more deeply than the typical methods and will certainly dig deep on the issue. I also recommend this with Craig Gross' work and Mark Driscoll's teaching.

[Kimberly Hewlett Owen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although this book is geared towards porn users, it is a great book for anyone seeking a closer relationship with Christ. Tim really hits a home run when he says, "Only Christians are free not to sin, because we have new controlling desires from God. But the old sinful desires and habits linger on, so the Christian life is a battle and the battlefield is our hearts. Change involves a lifetime of daily struggle. The battle is never over, so beware lest you fall."

"Change takes a lifetime, because the habit's of sin run deep. But it's also because God wants us to learn the depth of his grace. He's preparing Us to praise his grace for all eternity! It's often hard going because he wants us to learn to grasp hold of Christ- firmly, desperately, humbly."

This book is geared towards anyone who is broken and contrite in spirit, struggling with sin. And for the one who may not be broken and sorry for their sin, by the time you finish reading the book, hopefully you will be. Tim uses much scripture to support his thoughts and does not leave you feeling condemned, but shows you that there is hope in Jesus Christ to set you free from the shallow pleasures of pleasing the flesh.

[Chuck · Rating 5 out of 5]

Simply the best book written on the subject. Pastors, counselors and individuals will benefit from their reading. Chester suggests that our culture and the church has become "pornified," meaning that: "the aesthetics, values, and standards of pornography have seeped into mainstream popular culture" and the church. He then developed a comprehensive discussion of the issues of porn from a biblical perspective. His discussion centered on five key ingredients that need to be in place if you're going to win your battle with porn: 1) abhorence of porn; 2) adoration of God; 3) assurance of grace; 4) avoidance of temptation; 5) accountability to others. He effectively uses personal testimony and citations of other sources on porn to make his point. Many of his references are available on the web for further information on the topic. Chester clearly shows that porn is a "worship disorder" and closes with this challenge: "Are you going to choose the shame of porn or the glory of God?"

[Bill · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best book I've read on a topic which needs to be more commonly discussed among Christians. Starts by applying the gospel to the heart issues that lead to porn use before getting to practical strategies. Quite frank and full on at times, not a book to read casually. I'm becoming more of a Tim Chester fan with every one of his books that I read.

[Michael · Rating 5 out of 5]

I believe it is one of the best books out today dealing with lust and porn. Tim goes to the heart of the matter by pointing us to our deep need for Jesus Christ. We don't change by bouncing our eyes, we change by putting our eyes on Christ. Highly recommend this book!

[Sean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Far and away the most thorough, accessible, helpful and God-glorifying (oh, I'll just say it - the best) treatment on the subject that I've ever read and reflected upon. I can't recommend this book more highly for those who struggle with this problem and those who help them.

[Dylan Hutchens · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant book that is blunt and rough where necessary and well written to be graceful and not only condemn sin but provide practical advice to survive against temptation and rehabilitate a biblical understanding of intimacy in marriage and purity in singleness

[Susan McCullouch · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the content was too graphic for me. I know the problem of pornography is real, dark and widespread but some of the images he put in my head I can't forget. I didn't need examples. I had to put it down. I need tools to help people I love, not more graphic pictures I can't get out of my head.

[Brian · Rating 5 out of 5]

Read Sep 2010; reread Jan 2015. Best book I've seen on this topic.

[Mike Knox · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely the best, most helpful book on the subject. Wise, gospel-centered, practical, holistic, and powerful.

[Jesse Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredibly well done, short look at porn and what it looks like to move beyond. Chester gets to the real issues underlying this external issue in powerful ways. Highly recommended.

[Victor Rocha · Rating 3 out of 5]

O melhor do gênero, na minha opinião. Comecei a saga contra o vício em pornografia, e fiz muitas leituras no tema. Se tivesse que recomendar apenas um livro, com certeza seria esse.

[Danilo Amaral · Rating 5 out of 5]

O melhor livro que li sobre o assunto.

[Andre Filho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ótimo livro. Segue o caminho certo: Base bíblica, aplicações atuais e tudo isso banhado em devoção

[Brad Merchant · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical