Felix and the Sacred Thor (New Bizarro Author Series)
"Epic quests don't involve the internet or TV! They involve sex toys and manly, hard-bodied, larger-than-life heroes defying physics, logic and insurmountable odds, spitting out quotable, highly marketable catchphrases all the while!"
-The Sacred Horse
Felix might not quite fit this description, but he's trying
THE ABOVE IS NOT A JOKE…..THE REVIEW BELOW IS INTENDED FOR MATURE AUDIENCES DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT IS WRITTEN BY A VERY IMMATURE ONE…..
Now I admit that I have become more than a little jaded with the glut of “sameness” that is lately filling up the literary marketplace. There are certainly days that I want to grab a hot glue gun and spackle my eyes shut to avoid having to look at another paranormal romance cover with an ultra hot [guy/girl/other] staring fuckeyes a ...more
Where do I start? Do I mention a world where many college graduates are stress management specialists, dedicated to servicing pent up animals? Do I men ...more
- dildo enthusiasts
- horse dildo enthusiasts
- animal dildo enthusiasts in general
- the unemployed
- unemployed dildo enthusiasts
- lovers of mystical quests and recipients of occasional forced sodomy (not mutually exclusive)
- retail employees who hate their jobs (possibly redundant with the previous entry)
- retail managers who love their jobs
- toaster enthusiasts
- RPG enthusiasts
- enthusiasm enthusiasts (just kidding)
This book is definitely NOT for ...more
What does this all ...more
I have to be brutally honest here and just get the negative out of the way. This book contains two things I loathe deeply: references to gaming and forced sodomy. Seriously, the former is an irritant and the latter is an OMG because I just get freaked out by the image of so much non-consensual buttsex. I’m a girl. What can I say. It’s all just a part of who I am. So almost need ...more
We both share a interest in bestiality and demented sex toys. The past couple months I've watched a couple documentaries on people involved in a bestiality lifestyle. It's fascinating to hear them talk about being in love with a horse or a dog. They were compl ...more
That about sums the exposition up.
After the introduction we get a series of slice of bizarro dystopia vignettes, all connected by Felix, ...more
This is the latest in Eraserhead Press' "New Bizarro Author Series," in which the publisher will put out an inexpensive novella by a beginning writer as a way for them to prove that they should get a full book contract; and admittedly, this one is even sillier than most of the titles from this series I rec ...more
As a college grad struggling to find work in my field of choice, I can really relate to the main character, Felix. The dong-wielding superhero part, perhaps not quite so much. Though after finishing this book, I'm seeing it as a possible option.
Even as short as the story is, there's still a vivid world c ...more
Holy moly me oh my, boy oh boy, is this one of the most bizarre and interesting books I have come across in the NBAS series. I've been struggling to write this review for a few days now and these few words keep popping into my brain:
HOLY HORSE COCK!
But that's not all this book is about, oh no it's ...more
This one will be difficult to review. Not because of my opinion of the book, or doubts about anything contained therein. No, the difficulty is going to be in reviewing “Felix and the Sacred Thor” in an Amazon-friendly manner.
Felix is an Equine Stress Management Specialist. If you read the book's description, you can probably guess how he manages these stress levels. After proving himself worthy, the Sacred Horse grants him the Sacred Thor, an unimaginably p ...more
Let us just say this. You guys all know about He-Man...the '80s cartoon character, right? Well...He-Man had,...you know...a SWORD right. And it was MAGIC and he used it to beat up evil-doers.
Well FELIX is sort of like He-Man, in that he, too, has a magical weapon. A sword-like implement. Only INSTEAD of a swor ...more
Felix and The Sacred Thor is a biting and satirical commentary that will keep you laughing more than any other story involving flying toasters will. James Steele certainly captures the feeling of working in a retail setting during the holidays. A quick warning, it is not for the easily offended. But I would heartily recommend it to all others, especially those who enjoy short stories and novels such as "Make Room, Make Room," by Harry Harriso ...more
For everyone with job frustrations, read on.
When I think of flying toasters, I think of the After Dark screensavers from the 90's. Gentle creatures that flap their wings, trying desperately to keep up with the toaster in front of them. I do not think of alien spacecrafts loaded with nuclear devices that will explode if smacked with a giant sex toy shaped like the anatomy of a horse.
When I think of heroes ... well, ...more
Holy dildo, Cat-Man! Violating orifices has never been this much fun.
As a returns clerk, Felix is used to getting anally raped by his bosses at work. Each molestation a friendly reminder that he's one of the lucky ones. He's employed. He may not be getting paid, but at least he's not standing in that unemployment line wrapped around his store's building.
Still, it isn't what he studied so hard in college to do. Felix was supposed to be an Equine Stress Management Specialist. He lived to r ...more
He prefers stories featuring non-human characters. He enjoys stepping outside the human perspective and exploring other possibilities.
When that's not socially acceptable, he steps outside reality to achieve the same effect.