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Children of Open Adoption and Their Families

3.39  ·  Rating details ·  62 ratings  ·  12 reviews
Finally, a book that examines the effects of open adoption on the children. Two pioneers in the field examine scores of open adoption experiences from infancy to adolescence. Among topics covered: bonding, grief, communication, entitlement, and adoption understanding among children.
Published February 1st 1990 by Corona Pub Co
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Average rating 3.39  · 
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Mar 02, 2019 rated it liked it
This book had the same fundamental problems as Dear Birthmother, but I did appreciate the focus on the children’s experiences. Both books were given to us as “freebies” by our shitty old adoption agency that went bankrupt, which is why I read them. I think it’s time for some more relevant and updated material though.
Barbara S.
Apr 26, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: read-2012
I was a little disappointed in this book. Perhaps it was a bit dated. When it was written, open adoption was revolutionary. It was necessary to spend a lot of time explaining the benefits, and how it was better for everyone than closed adoption. Today it seems like a more normal option. Also, there may be a bit of the "preaching to the choir" problem. It's not really a manifesto, but this entire book is an argument for open adoption. I've already been convinced, so it feels a bit pointless.

Madigan Mirza
Apr 12, 2012 rated it it was ok
I've heard a lot of wonderful things about this book. It feels a little dated. Most of it is anecdotes, and actually quite repetitive. I think this was probably groundbreaking for its' time (late 80's) but there's so much that it doesn't cover. As a potential adoptive mom, of course, I feel open adoption is the way to go. That seems to be the norm these days. I don't need any selling on that point. The idea of carrying on some kind of elaborate deception as used to be the case is frankly, absolu ...more
John Kusters
Apr 06, 2012 rated it really liked it
A good book to read if you're considering adoption. A lot of anecdotal information about open adoption and how it plays out in the real world.

I was somewhat disappointed that there was no mention of how open adoption might be different in families headed by same-sex couples, and was somewhat turned off by the book's insistence that all adoptive parents must deal with the grief that arises from infertility. Not all families start because the adopters are infertile.
May 29, 2020 rated it it was amazing
I've been unsure of open adoption but this book opened my eyes. Just because one gets adopted and is loved with everything, doesn't mean they will stop loving where they came from. They need a sense of self even if if it is an answer to a couple questions or a picture of their birth parents. And some won't need to know. There could be siblings where one needs to know answers, and the other would rather not know. Highly recommend to read and highly recommend open adoption. ...more
Cheryl Klein
May 13, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
Back in the day, most adoptions were shrouded in secrecy. Like other social realities, it has benefited from a coming-out process. This text is a helpful primer on why: Adopted kids who've known their birthparents from the start are less likely to feel rejected and lost. Birthparents have tangible evidence of their children's well-being. And as a potential adoptive parent, I have to take the authors' (*mostly* convincing) word that having an extra parent or two in my kid's life will actually mak ...more
Feb 22, 2012 rated it liked it
Shelves: adoption
Very early book on "open adoption" when it was a "new thing." Of course, historically speaking, it is closed adoption that was novel, but it became normative for many people. The book contains some useful anecdotal information (which is helpful for understanding situations you haven't experienced) but is written in a stilted social-worker-ese that is frustrating to wade through and, in keeping with the general philosophy of social work, demurs to articulate any ethical vision, including that ani ...more
Aug 10, 2013 rated it it was ok
Currently we are in the process of adoption and this book is required reading from the agency we are using. It's very dated and I feel that most of the information needs to be updated. If I didn't have to read this book, I wouldn't. It's a fight to finish it. ...more
Jenn Edgar
Jul 30, 2015 rated it really liked it
I know this book was revolutionary when it came out, but, with open adoption being the status quo now, I didn't find its insights as helpful as I'd have liked. Great read if you want a comparison of open to closed adoption or if you're looking for anecdotes about open vs. closed adoption. ...more
Aug 18, 2008 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: anyone considering open adoption
Informative but redundant.
Feb 03, 2011 rated it liked it
More required reading. Good info, will reference in the future for sure.
Dec 15, 2009 rated it it was ok
Part of our required reading
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