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Two Kisses for Maddy: A Memoir of Loss and Love

Matthew Logelin (Goodreads Author)

4.03 · Rating details · 7,179 Ratings · 1,041 Reviews

Matt Logelin writes a courageous and searingly honest memoir about the first year of his life following the birth of his daughter and the death of his wife.

Matt and Liz Logelin were high school sweethearts. After years of long-distance dating, the pair finally settled together in Los Angeles, and they had it all: a perfect marriage, a gorgeous new home, and a baby girl on ...more

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Hardcover, 272 pages

Published April 14th 2011 by Grand Central Publishing (first published 2011)

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Aug 26, 2011 Doreen rated it it was ok

Shelves: elle

A terrible thing happened to Matt Logelin: his beloved wife died the day after their only child was born, 7 weeks prematurely. As he struggled to put his life back together and raise a baby on his own, he set up a non-profit foundation to help other men and women who found themselves in a similar situation. In the process, he grew somewhat as a person.

Hopefully, that precis will save you from having to read the actual book. Proceeds from its sale go to the non-profit mentioned above, but serious A terrible thing happened to Matt Logelin: his beloved wife died the day after their only child was born, 7 weeks prematurely. As he struggled to put his life back together and raise a baby on his own, he set up a non-profit foundation to help other men and women who found themselves in a similar situation. In the process, he grew somewhat as a person.

Hopefully, that precis will save you from having to read the actual book. Proceeds from its sale go to the non-profit mentioned above, but seriously, just look up the Liz Logelin Foundation and write them a check instead (it's a worthy cause.) He also has a blog with a devoted following, so that might be worth perusing, as well. But please don't bother reading this book otherwise, because it is terrible and made me never want to visit his blog or, to be honest, have anything to do with him ever.

The main complaint from other reviewers who've given this book low ratings is that he swears too much. I, too, have a potty mouth, so mere swearing doesn't bother me, but he uses the same words all the time and unimaginatively. Constantly using "fucking" as an adjective just grates, and loses any power of emphasis when he uses it to describe how much his wife's death sucks shortly after also using it to describe how awful the generic music played at the funeral parlor is (pro tip for those at home: doing this yourself makes it sound like you think they suck equally, which makes you a douchebag.) Granted, this is probably where a good editor would have stepped in, but after the slew of books I've read lately, I'm sincerely starting to believe that those are few and far between these days.

But that wasn't why I think this book is terrible, even if the writing is uniformly disjointed and subpar. My main problem with this book is that the author is a pretentious hipster snot. After his wife's death, he grieved, and I felt sincerely bad for him, but his insistence on "not being lame" when out and about with his kid made me want to shake him. Being a parent isn't about being cool, asshole. I respected a lot of what he had to say about the different processes of grieving: unfortunately, this book dwells too much on how badly he perceived some people to be behaving towards him and made me want to tell him to get over himself. He's got a good heart, as evidenced by the way he treated the hospital staff, but he's also unnecessarily spiteful and judgmental, as clearly shown by his visit to the Social Security office.

I was also appalled that he habitually interspersed the text with "meaningful" song lyrics: emotionally and intellectually, he would have been better off copying out greeting card verses. What bothered me the most, though, was how woefully immature he was at the age of 30, until adulthood was thrust upon him with the sudden status of parent and widower. Before then, he'd been happy to coast on the luck of having an amazing wife who put up with his shit. Seriously, she let him get away with not reading any parenting books or planning to take on any child-rearing responsibilities, not even researching what she and the baby would need post-birthing. And it was pretty clear that not only was she the main breadwinner, but also the one responsible for cleaning the house and doing chores while he mooned over records. As a new mom myself, it made me want to punch him in the face.

So the book gets two stars because he is a terrible writer and even worse poet, and the way he presents himself makes me believe that he's of both stunted intellect and maturity, which do nothing to make reading his book enjoyable. I'm sure he's doing great work with his blog and foundation, which is why the book gets a rating as high as it does, but I would never recommend this book to anyone, because I think the way it's written detracts very much from the legacy of Liz's life otherwise.

ETA: My best friend and I were discussing the book and he succinctly summed it up thusly, "My wife died, and my taste in music is still better than yours." Sad but true.

I received this book gratis as part of ELLE Magazine's ELLEs Lettres Jurors' Prize program. ...more

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Sep 25, 2010 Jim rated it liked it

In a remarkable coincidence, Matthew Logelin and I each lost a young wife, were left with a daughter named Madeline, and wrote a book about the experience. He and I are very different people but we both came to some very similar conclusions.

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Jan 27, 2012 Selby rated it liked it

Shelves: nonfiction

This was an emotional roller coaster for me. I really struggled to give this little memoir a star rating. So, everyone knows the premise: A 30 year old man is delighted by the birth of his daughter one day and loses the love of his life the next, what now?

A lot of the criticisms I've read here on GR are quasi-valid: The writing is so-so. He does come off like a music snob at times. His profanities are redundant; some argued crass. In response to this I would say: He never claims to be a writer. ...more

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Jan 06, 2012 Tamara Taylor rated it really liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, read-in2012

I made the mistake of browsing through some of this book's GD reviews prior to reading it. A few readers said they felt that Matt was a snobby hipster douchebag. I wish that I hadn't peeked at those reviews as they coloured my perception of the author before I gave this book a chance (shame on me!) I did press on though, and I am glad I did. I came to the conclusion that the author is not in fact a hipster douchebag. He is a brutally, painfully honest real person. This book is the most accurate, ...more

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Jan 07, 2012 Sasha rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: not-going-to-finish-now

I did not read the entire book. Although I can sympathize with the situation, I don't think this should be a book. I could not force myself to read the rest of it. That is all I will say because I feel the situation itself makes it hard to say anything that could be perceived as negative after the suffering this family has endured. Although, maybe that's exactly how this book ended up published...nobody wanted to hurt anyone's feelings.

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May 31, 2011 Patricia rated it it was ok

**Warning: This author, even though he wrote a book in an "attempt to turn [his] sadness into something beautiful," uses a lot of coarse, vulgar language, and is quite offensive. I do not recommend it for this reason.**

This is the sad, true story of a young man who becomes a widower at the age of 30, the day after his daughter is born seven weeks early. He loved his young, beautiful wife deeply, and he writes about their love story, the birth, her death, and the year of grief and beauty that fol **Warning: This author, even though he wrote a book in an "attempt to turn [his] sadness into something beautiful," uses a lot of coarse, vulgar language, and is quite offensive. I do not recommend it for this reason.**

This is the sad, true story of a young man who becomes a widower at the age of 30, the day after his daughter is born seven weeks early. He loved his young, beautiful wife deeply, and he writes about their love story, the birth, her death, and the year of grief and beauty that followed his wife's death from a pulmonary embolism (from more than five weeks of bedrest). The only two things about this guy that are likeable are that he's quite a genuinely loving, social guy; and he loves his daughter and learns to take good care of her. I loved how he pointed out, time after time, that our society finds it very peculiar to see a man taking care of a young baby and a young child. Over and over he was asked, "Where is her (the baby's) mother?" When mother's are out with their babies, people don't really ask "Where is her father?" Because of this terrible event that turned his world upside down, the author is forced to grow up and become an adult, responsible for taking care of the well-being of another. I suppose that is admirable that he recognizes how little he contributed before his wife's death, but dependent men are so unattractive that I never could understand why his wife was with him in the first place. Add his drinking and swearing and it's a complete mystery to me. It is a bittersweet story, but could have been written in a much less offensive way. Perhaps, though, it would not have had his authentic voice then. I don't know...

The best paragraph from this book is found at the bottom of page 143: "Just like people wanted to help me and Maddy, I wanted to help the people around us, and so I passed on what I received to those who needed it more. It became a really important part of what the blog brought to my life, and an important part of my beginning to heal after Liz's death. Concentrating my attention on others allowed me to remove some of the focus from my own situation, and finally I felt less like a victim of my horrible circumstances." ...more

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Sep 15, 2013 Erin Samiloglu rated it it was ok

Here's a truth: we all have a story in us. Here's another truth: everyone, at some point in their lives, experiences the death of a loved one.Now, here's a myth: everyone's story about the death of a loved one deserves to be published and read by the masses.
I perhaps gave this book more leniency than I should have. Matthew Longelin did, after all, lose his wife one day after his daughter was born. But if death doesn't make martyrs of the dead, surviving doesn't make a douchebag lose his doucheb ...more

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Apr 25, 2011 Laurie rated it really liked it

Shelves: parenting-pregnancy, non-fiction

I have been following Matt Logelin for over two years, and I was thrilled when I was hooked up with a copy of Two Kisses for Maddy to read before it was released last week. From a literary standpoint, I found the story moving and easy to read if not heart-wrenchingly sad and difficult at times. While I love Matt's blog that is written in mostly in verse, the prose in this book filled in some gaps on a story that I already felt I knew quite well.

From a social, human standpoint, Matt, Liz, and Ma ...more

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Nov 19, 2011 Lisa Factora-borchers rated it liked it

There are so many things one could say about this book. As a 32 year old married mother of a precious toddler, of course this book rang many bells in my head and of course it broke nearly every time Matt wrote about his lost wife. As a human, as a person who loves to feel and wants to be reminded how awesome it is to be in love with the Love of your life, this book spoke to me on different levels. I don't know how it could not.

Matt Logelin openly writes from a place of suffering and as a person ...more

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Feb 01, 2011 Librariann rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2011, memoir, adult

Sigh. I feel bad for this family, Matt especially, but this book was just not that great. 1) It's another People magazine/Reader's Digest article that feels blown up into a book, and 2) I know these are real people and not characters, but as people? I don't find them interesting. Even worse, Liz (the dead wife and mother) is the kind of woman that I probably would have disliked in real life. Ugh, and now I've spoken ill of the dead.

If you read Matt's blog at all, the story will pique your inter ...more

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May 05, 2011 Kristy rated it really liked it

My first real book review on here, and, boy, do I have a lot say about this one.

'Two Kisses for Maddy' is the story of a man who become both a father and a widower in the span of twenty-seven hours, and his journey to mourn his wife and live for his daughter. At first I didn't like this book: the writing is a little simple and full of 'fucks' and 'shits.' But it read quickly, and I came to enjoy how conversational the book is. The author is a blogger, too, after all.

The other hard part of readin My first real book review on here, and, boy, do I have a lot say about this one.

'Two Kisses for Maddy' is the story of a man who become both a father and a widower in the span of twenty-seven hours, and his journey to mourn his wife and live for his daughter. At first I didn't like this book: the writing is a little simple and full of 'fucks' and 'shits.' But it read quickly, and I came to enjoy how conversational the book is. The author is a blogger, too, after all.

The other hard part of reading this book was that I knew that Liz was going to die, and it was almost unbearable to read this book leading up to that moment. I felt almost frantic knowing that she would not get to hold her newborn baby. I cried as her death and Matt's initial reactions to it were recounted. All I could think about was how unbearable and unbelievable that moment had to be for them and their families. I cried because I thought about my fiance, and how I wouldn't know how to function if this was our fate.

The book goes on to chronicle Matt and Madeline's journey during her first year of life and the first year after her mother's and his wife's death. Although Matt paints himself as a reluctant caregiver, his devotion to his daughter and his wife is painfully and joyously evident. Not only this, but his compassion shines through and is truly admirable. Many times throughout the book he mentions how everyone grieves differently and no one should be judged for reacting "the wrong way" or something else equally generalizing. He began a foundation in Liz's honor to assist families in similar situations to his own and reached out to many more through his blog. He frequently points out that his decisions for himself and his daughter are still heavily influenced by his wife. One of my favorite examples of this is when he mentions his first instinct would be to clothe Madeline in a hand-me-down flannel shirt, only to buy a $200 Chloe dress in a boutique for her instead because it's what Liz would have done. His desire to bring Liz's influence and presence into their daughter's life is sweet and amazing and, I would imagine, emotional.

This was without a doubt one of the saddest books I've ever read, and I probably shouldn't have brought it to work to read on my lunch break. Tears threatened me far too often. But this book ended on a note of hope and peace, and was just generally a great story.

I wish the best to Matt, Madeline, and their families, and I encourage anyone to read this book for an emotional, difficult, loving, honest, hard look at life and love. ...more

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Apr 09, 2012 Samantha Smith rated it liked it

I have conflicting thoughts about this book. On many levels I found this book to be extremely captivating and interesting. It is a story that automatically draws in any reader or compassionate person. I'm a newlywed so I can only imaging losing my spouse suddenly and unexpectedly. I totally get how this would be a life changing and horrific experience.

I applaud the author for being willing to share his experiences and intimate details of his life with readers. I respect that he doesn't shy away I have conflicting thoughts about this book. On many levels I found this book to be extremely captivating and interesting. It is a story that automatically draws in any reader or compassionate person. I'm a newlywed so I can only imaging losing my spouse suddenly and unexpectedly. I totally get how this would be a life changing and horrific experience.

I applaud the author for being willing to share his experiences and intimate details of his life with readers. I respect that he doesn't shy away from writing details that cast him in a negative light. For example, he openly discusses how his wife was the primary bread winner while he was happy to sit at home and pretend to look for jobs. I think these details added to the story and gave us a picture of his life and how important and special his wife was. She sounded like a very patient and forgiving woman.

However, this book is so poorly written that it distracts from the story. Some other reviews critique the book for having so much profanity. I myself am not at all offended by profanity I use it all the time and think there is a definite place for it in books. However the profanity in this book seems so forced and awkward that it also takes away from the story. I think maybe someone read a rough draft of his book and applauded the author for his use of anger and profanity and so the author then scattered it in everywhere possible. In places the book felt raw and real but then in others it felt forced. I also do have to comment about the definite hipster vibe. Yuck. Another problem I have is the woes the author has about his financial situation but then flies all over the world and vacations non stop. I can't sympathize for his financial problems when he is flying to exotic destinations.

In general, I would recommend this book and I am excited to meet the author and hear more about his story and hear more about how he is doing parenting his daughter. Do I think he should strive to become a writer. No way! I would tell him don't quit your day job, but when I read the author's bio it looked like he already had. Ooops. ...more

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Apr 05, 2012 Laura rated it liked it

I will make this a short one.
I know some of the reviews that came and will come will say that this is not a book worth your time. I go against it. Yeah, I just gave it 3 stars but just because I can't deny the lack of true literature. I give it to Mr. Logelin that he admitted not being a writer and believe him I do. But for those reviews that completely miss the bigger picture, I just feel sorry for them.
Maybe I just let myself guide for the tears I shed while reading but I'll admit it, I am a ...more

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Dec 10, 2011 Voracious rated it it was ok

This man went through a terrible experience, I know. And it sounds like he's doing a great job with his daughter. But he didn't appeal to me.

I understand being massively sensitive in the wake of loss, but not continuing to defend your excessive over-reactions. He's hugely judgmental about silly things. For example, he whines about strangers asking about "Maddy's mother" rather than "his wife". That's just silly. No-one's going to risk offending a stranger by assuming marriage, but if there's a ...more

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Aug 05, 2013 Stephanie rated it it was ok · review of another edition

This is the memoir by Matt Logelin, who lost his wife, Liz, a day after their daughter Madeline was born. I heard it as an audio book, as read by Matt himself. His grief is raw, his words are haunting. The crass language was a bit much for me (probably because I was hearing it and not reading it), and it really detracted from the story. I get that this is how he talks, but it really is distracting.

I have to say, though, Matt really made me kind of dislike him. He expresses at every turn what a g ...more

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Jun 22, 2011 Emilie rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: couldn-t-finish

I was very interested to read this book as I have recently been reading about loss of loved ones. I didn't finish this book because of the repeated use of the course language. I am not sure if the author was trying to firmly establish his status as an everyman or what the thinking behind this move was, but the F word was prolifically used throughout the first 50 pages in very odd places. One might understand such harsh language after the point when the author loses his wife, but I did not actual ...more

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Sep 03, 2011 Christine Young rated it liked it

Shelves: non-fiction, bio-memoir

I've read Matt's blog so I knew how his story unfolds before I read the book. And that meant I was crying from basically the first page as he described how he and Liz met and fell in love. I don't think Matt's the best writer ever. (His blog drives me a bit crazy because he writes in blocky short sentences a la Rosie O'Donnell). But Matt doesn't claim to a be a writer. This was never his goal. He was thrust in to the literary world after suffering a horrible tragedy...the death of his wife the d ...more

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Nov 05, 2011 Nicole rated it did not like it

I'm not going to bother to explain what this book was about, there a million reviews. I'm just going to say that I really disliked it. I tried really hard to like Matt and Liz and I just didn't. I felt absolutely no connection to either of them. I think Matt was trying to make us feel that he wasn't worthy of Liz and felt so lucky to have her, but all I got was that he was kind of selfish and lazy and she was the one who worked her butt off flying him around to visit her and then taking responsi ...more

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Dec 21, 2010 Cassandra rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memoirs, elle-magazine

Two Kisses for Maddy is a tragic memoir of a man's loss of his wife. Matthew Logelin lost his wife twenty seven hours after his wife gave birth to a baby girl. Matthew's wife Liz died of a pulmonary embolism that stemmed from being on bed rest for several weeks before the delivery of her daughter. The memoir in Matthew's voice is raw and heartbreaking and I had to put it down many times because it was too painful to read. Matthew Logelin shares his grief openly and gives much insight of the chao ...more

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Jan 30, 2011 Alissa rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2011, nonfiction, motherhood, first-reads, library-lines

I read Matt's blog for awhile, so when this ARC crossed my desk I had to grab it. And I read it in less than 24 hours. I enjoyed the full narrative instead of the haiku like blog posts. Matt is a great writer and his honesty in his writing makes this novel compelling. His love for Liz & Maddy shines on each page.

I laughed and I cried. Highly recommended.

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Jun 02, 2011 Sara rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memoir, 2011

This is such a great memoir, covering a very sad situation but managing to be inspiring and uplifting instead of completely and utterly depressing. The author's wife died the day after their daughter was born, and this book chronicles his relationship with his wife and then his struggle to get through the first year of their daughter's life as a single parent.

The author has a very relatable writing style that drew me in almost immediately. I was unsure about this book before starting it, not wa ...more

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May 05, 2011 Marianne Stehr rated it liked it

This is one of those stories that is hard to review. of course the story of life and death is heatwrenching and the story itself, unfortunately true, will certainly make for a great book. However this story did not sound like just another "regular" person having significant crisis. This is a very lucky, well connected and highly supported father who has lost his wife unexpectedly and as written in the book, he is far from the only person the experience this. so to me the book takes on a connotat ...more

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Sep 15, 2011 Selina Benware rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

One of the beat books i have ever read(and I have read thousands) so full of love, loss, and raw heartbreak, but so worth it!! I have cried many many times while reading this(bawled actually) but it has also shown me what it takes to be a ''better'' parent, and how your own child can not take the pain away, but make it just a little more berable! I can only hope that someday I will be as good of a parent as he is! AFter losing his wife suddenly only 24 hrs after their beautiful baby entered the ...more

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Feb 07, 2011 Laura rated it it was amazing

Absolute beautiful memoir! I cried (bawled the eyes out), I laughed (loved the stories from Maddy's 1st birthday party part 2), and felt the love that Matt poured into this book for his wife and daughter. This book has heart and will have you appreciating the time you have with the people in you life you love the most. Liz would be so proud of him! I have been a loyal reader of Matt's blog for the past two years and appreciate the creative way Matt writes and expresses himself. (so glad your edi ...more

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Sep 15, 2016 Kelly rated it liked it

Shelves: non-fiction

Disclaimer: Brutal honesty ahead.

Matthew Logelin sounds like an asshole. That doesn't make the loss he suffered any less devastating, but he does a super great job of making you like his wife a lot better than you like him. And she tragically passed away in 2008. But reading about his love for his daughter and the way the tragedy affected his life was touching. A solid 3 star memoir.

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Sep 03, 2011 Rhonda rated it did not like it

Shelves: not-gonna-finish-it

Too much profanity!

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Jul 23, 2017 Rachel McQuoid rated it really liked it

Shelves: biography, non-fiction, adult

This made me cry and smile in equal measures. Matt's story is so heartbreaking!

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Mar 25, 2017 Robert Jacoby rated it really liked it

(In 3 weeks I read seven books in preparation to write the Analysis of the Competition section for the book proposal for my co-authored nonfiction book Never Stop Dancing. The seven books are A Grief Observed, Two Kisses for Maddy, The Year of Magical Thinking, About Alice, A Widow's Story, Tuesdays with Morrie, and When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I'll write a review for each book. Death and grief are common, but we experience each uniquely.)

In Two Kisses for Maddy, Matt Logelin recounts (In 3 weeks I read seven books in preparation to write the Analysis of the Competition section for the book proposal for my co-authored nonfiction book Never Stop Dancing. The seven books are A Grief Observed, Two Kisses for Maddy, The Year of Magical Thinking, About Alice, A Widow's Story, Tuesdays with Morrie, and When Bad Things Happen to Good People. I'll write a review for each book. Death and grief are common, but we experience each uniquely.)

In Two Kisses for Maddy, Matt Logelin recounts the year after he lost his wife Liz, just 27 hours after she gave birth to their first child, a daughter, Maddy. It's a terrible roller-coaster ride of emotions and memories and stories from Matt's first year without Liz and learning how to care for his preemie baby Maddy.

Some reviewers have a problem with Matt Logelin's use of coarse language, in parts. I'll agree, his use of colorful language seems unneccesary to me. I think it just distracts from his story. But he states he is no writer. In fact, the first line of this book is: "I am not a writer." So, to me, these bits are his way of expressing feelings and thoughts he'd otherwise be unable to express.

Other reviewers noted Matt's "attitude" about things: his love of indie music, his anger towards "others" in general, his sometimes sniping back-and-forth relationship with Liz in their marriage. I take his writing at face value: he's simply describing who is, take it or leave it.

I liked this book for its honest, soul-baring portrayal of a young father going through what most of us can barely imagine. I think Matt did a brave thing by putting his thoughts and feelings down here, in Two Kisses for Maddy, to show the world what he went through and how he came out on the other side.

If you want to know more about Matt and Maddy and their lives now and during their terrible journey together, visit him online at mattlogelin.com. Matt was already blogging when Liz died, and he kept on through it all.

In the same way, when my co-author John Robinette's wife Amy died, he started to document his journey through grief and recovery at his own blog. Visit John online at Hole in the Sun to read about his life, then and now, and how he's learned to incorporate Amy's loss into his life. My interviews with John during that first terrible year after Amy died form the basis for our nonfiction book Never Stop Dancing (working title).

I really liked it
4/5 Goodreads
4/5 Amazon ...more

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Oct 14, 2018 Lisa Keegan rated it it was amazing

I listened to the audio version, narrated by the author. Loved his dry wit and use of the "f" word. He made a great life out of a tragic event. He sounds like a great father and a great man.

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Mar 03, 2017 Bev Walkling rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: grief, inspirational, memoir, non-fiction, self-help, survival-story, terminslly-ill, travel, women-s-lit

This memoir tells the story of Liz Logelin's pregnancy, her husband love for her, her tragic death and the first year after her death as Matt and his newborn daughter Maddy learn to survive together in a world without Liz. It is a beautiful love story both for Liz and for Maddy. Don't read it when you have a cold and make sure to have the kleenex box handy.

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About Matthew Logelin

Matthew Logelin

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Born and bred in Minnesota, Matt Logelin was a project manager at Yahoo! until he left the company to focus on writing this book and raising his daughter, Madeline. The two live in Los Angeles, traveling often to see as much of the world as possible. Please visit them at www.mattlogelin.com

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“sometimes it feels like
yesterday.
other time it feels
like a lifetime ago.
i’m having a hard time
remembering her voice,
but i find myself
saying things that
liz
would have said if
she
were standing next to me,
looking at our child.
like cute.
and pretty.” — 2 likes

“The most dangerous place for a baby is in the hospital? I could think of several places that had to be more dangerous than a hospital: a lion’s den, Skid Row, the middle of the 110 freeway, and my not-yet-baby-proofed house.” — 2 likes

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