What do you think?
Rate this book
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?: A Family's Journey through Bipolar Disorder
As eighteen-year-old Amanda spirals into mania, her father, psychiatrist Dr. Jerry Benson, sees the realization of his worst his daughter is not just moody, but truly ill. With his words, his diagnosis--manic depressive illness--his world and that of his family is forever altered. Carol, Amanda's mother, struggles with the guilt and shame of having raised a "crazy" daughter. Christy, Amanda's fifteen-year-old sister, denies the illness; after all, my sister's a bitch is so much easier to accept.
Meanwhile, the Bensons' extended family offers up everything from unconditional support to uncomfortable scrutiny as Amanda careens between bouts of frightening violence, cosmic euphoria, and suicidal despair. Then there's Ryan, an architecture student who is initially ensnared by Amanda's manic sexuality, but is ultimately captured and held throughout the chaos by the force of love and strength of family.
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?: A Family's Journey Through Bipolar Disorder follows a family through the tragedy of bipolar disorder, but it's not tragic. It's funny, sad, and thought provoking--and as real and as raw as mental illness itself.
Meanwhile, the Bensons' extended family offers up everything from unconditional support to uncomfortable scrutiny as Amanda careens between bouts of frightening violence, cosmic euphoria, and suicidal despair. Then there's Ryan, an architecture student who is initially ensnared by Amanda's manic sexuality, but is ultimately captured and held throughout the chaos by the force of love and strength of family.
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?: A Family's Journey Through Bipolar Disorder follows a family through the tragedy of bipolar disorder, but it's not tragic. It's funny, sad, and thought provoking--and as real and as raw as mental illness itself.
272 pages, Paperback
First published September 21, 2010
11 people are currently reading
481 people want to read
About the author
Karen Winters Schwartz
9 books40 followersKaren Winters Schwartz wrote her first truly good story at age seven. Forty-five years later her professional writing career finally began in 2010, when the first of three widely praised novels, Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?, Reis’s Pieces, and The Chocolate Debacle were published by Goodman Beck Publishing. Red Adept Publishing released Legend of the Lost Ass in 2020, and her latest novel The Vast Clear Blue in 2023. Both are richly emotional stories about love and relationships and take place in the exotic setting of Belize.
Educated at The Ohio State University, Karen and her husband moved to the Central New York Finger Lakes region where they raised two daughters and shared a career in optometry. She now splits her time between Arizona, a small village in Belize, and traveling the earth in search of the many creatures with whom she has the honor of sharing this world.
Educated at The Ohio State University, Karen and her husband moved to the Central New York Finger Lakes region where they raised two daughters and shared a career in optometry. She now splits her time between Arizona, a small village in Belize, and traveling the earth in search of the many creatures with whom she has the honor of sharing this world.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
October 21, 2010
Where are the Cocoa Puffs? is an incredibly entertaining and endearing story because it feels so genuinely real, alive even. The book’s theme, it seems to me, is not merely about what it is like for a teen-aged girl to live with bipolar disorder but what it is like for an entire family to live with the illness. Mental illness, after all, is does not happen in a vacuum. The protagonist here has a caring family, and while her sister, mother and father have varying emotive or distancing responses to Amanda’s diagnosis (her father, a psychiatrist, is the first to diagnose her) I felt as though I was getting a very in-depth portrait of what it means for an entire family to deal with a member’s disorder. This story is heartbreaking and beautiful, and most importantly, it feels real. There is a keen, quick humor throughout that makes this realistic tale quite engaging throughout. I have already promised to loan out my copy to one friend and I have recommended it to many others.
Anyone who has been touched by mental illness, personally or externally, should read this book. It’s a truly important book, and a damn-good read. This is a novel that does what good literature should: it raises awareness about an often misinterpreted problem. In this case, an often-misdiagnosed and misunderstood illness; the way it works, as a ripple, to touch everyone around it. And how important acceptance is to finding a way to cope and live with such a powerful but mysterious gift/curse of the mind.
Anyone who has been touched by mental illness, personally or externally, should read this book. It’s a truly important book, and a damn-good read. This is a novel that does what good literature should: it raises awareness about an often misinterpreted problem. In this case, an often-misdiagnosed and misunderstood illness; the way it works, as a ripple, to touch everyone around it. And how important acceptance is to finding a way to cope and live with such a powerful but mysterious gift/curse of the mind.
January 20, 2019
I stumbled upon this while wandering the library last week and thought it might be a nice filler book while I waited for other reservations to come in. I am so happy I picked this book up!
It was great! Very realistic and raw.
A very honest portrayal of coming to terms with having a mental illness but also how the family feels and deals in a very accurate way. I rarely see books where the characters actually address the fact that not only is it hard dealing with the emotional rainstorm of someone who is mentally ill but the very real feelings of temporary hatred and bitterness that comes with caring about someone or being someone who is mentally ill.
I found the main character Amanda's inner thoughts very insightful as well, sometimes she was fully aware that the things she was doing were not appropriate but still unable to stop herself. Other times she couldn't understand why the people around her were acting abnormal or trying to stop her behaviour.
I really enjoyed the narrative seamlessly changing between characters allowing you to feel each persons emotions. Just beautifully written, highly recommend this to everyone!
It was great! Very realistic and raw.
A very honest portrayal of coming to terms with having a mental illness but also how the family feels and deals in a very accurate way. I rarely see books where the characters actually address the fact that not only is it hard dealing with the emotional rainstorm of someone who is mentally ill but the very real feelings of temporary hatred and bitterness that comes with caring about someone or being someone who is mentally ill.
I found the main character Amanda's inner thoughts very insightful as well, sometimes she was fully aware that the things she was doing were not appropriate but still unable to stop herself. Other times she couldn't understand why the people around her were acting abnormal or trying to stop her behaviour.
I really enjoyed the narrative seamlessly changing between characters allowing you to feel each persons emotions. Just beautifully written, highly recommend this to everyone!
January 27, 2019
I think this is a very good and important novel. Of course, I'm a little bias as I am the author! I would love to get some feedback from my fellow readers!
Here are some things others have to say about Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?:
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? is an engaging family story of what happens when the eighteen-year-old daughter develops bipolar disorder. It is very well written and accurately reflects the effects of this disorder on all members of the family. Strongly recommended.
– E. Fuller Torrey, M.D., author of Surviving Schizophrenia and
Surviving Manic Depression
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? is a coming of age story. It provides an authentic look at a teenager, her family, and friends who struggle to come to terms with the onset of her mental illness and to find a bal¬ance between hope and acceptance. Read it for its own sake. Read it to learn. It speaks to many truths.
– Michael J. Fitzpatrick, MSW Executive Director, NAMI National
Fasten your seat belt as you’re drawn into the Benson family’s desper¬ate struggle to manage their eighteen-year-old daughter’s terrifying plunge into a world where the line between rationality and madness is often blurred — the world of bipolar disorder. I highly recommend this book. It will challenge, educate, and most importantly, it will inspire you.
– Dr. Joseph J. Luciani, bestselling author of Self-Coaching:
The Powerful Program to Beat Anxiety & Depression
Welcome to the world of mental illness. This emotionally raw novel pulls you into the belly of the beast — in this case, into the chaos of the Benson family, where survival and sanity hang by a thread. There is no escape; it feels like you are part of the family. Ultimately, this is a love story. It’s about the love that binds a family together in the midst of dealing with everything that threatens to pull them apart. Very highly recommended!
– Alan Gettis, Ph.D., author of the award-winning book The Happiness
Solution: Finding Joy & Meaning in an Upside Down World
What would it be like to be part of a family in which the teenage daughter begins to exhibit wild mood swings that are finally diagnosed as bipolar disorder? By entering the interiors of this young woman, her mother, father, sister, and boyfriend, Karen Winters Schwartz’s novel Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? takes the reader on that roller coaster with insight and sympathy for all. Spending time with this family will be a comfort to those who have had similar experiences and it will deepen the compassion of those who haven’t. The novel accurately portrays the complexities and strain of living with someone who has a mental illness, but it also offers hope as a result of the medical world’s increasing understanding of biochemical imbalances in the brain.
– Ginnah Howard, author of Night Navigation
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? is a tragic tale of a family besieged by per¬haps the most insidious of all diseases. It is one of those rare reads that can teach us something about the trials faced by those attempting to live with or support loved ones with mental illness, while also teaching us something about ourselves. It is a story of betrayal and anguish, of coming to terms with loss and accepting alternatives all of us should pray we never suffer. If you already know how arduous living with mental disorders can be, you owe it to the author to read this book. She has given your cause a beautiful voice — a fine example of the perseverance and will required to love someone so afflicted. But if you only think you know the trials and tribulations endured by those poor souls, you owe this read to yourself.
– Donald R. Dempsey, author of Betty’s Child
Here are some things others have to say about Where Are the Cocoa Puffs?:
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? is an engaging family story of what happens when the eighteen-year-old daughter develops bipolar disorder. It is very well written and accurately reflects the effects of this disorder on all members of the family. Strongly recommended.
– E. Fuller Torrey, M.D., author of Surviving Schizophrenia and
Surviving Manic Depression
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? is a coming of age story. It provides an authentic look at a teenager, her family, and friends who struggle to come to terms with the onset of her mental illness and to find a bal¬ance between hope and acceptance. Read it for its own sake. Read it to learn. It speaks to many truths.
– Michael J. Fitzpatrick, MSW Executive Director, NAMI National
Fasten your seat belt as you’re drawn into the Benson family’s desper¬ate struggle to manage their eighteen-year-old daughter’s terrifying plunge into a world where the line between rationality and madness is often blurred — the world of bipolar disorder. I highly recommend this book. It will challenge, educate, and most importantly, it will inspire you.
– Dr. Joseph J. Luciani, bestselling author of Self-Coaching:
The Powerful Program to Beat Anxiety & Depression
Welcome to the world of mental illness. This emotionally raw novel pulls you into the belly of the beast — in this case, into the chaos of the Benson family, where survival and sanity hang by a thread. There is no escape; it feels like you are part of the family. Ultimately, this is a love story. It’s about the love that binds a family together in the midst of dealing with everything that threatens to pull them apart. Very highly recommended!
– Alan Gettis, Ph.D., author of the award-winning book The Happiness
Solution: Finding Joy & Meaning in an Upside Down World
What would it be like to be part of a family in which the teenage daughter begins to exhibit wild mood swings that are finally diagnosed as bipolar disorder? By entering the interiors of this young woman, her mother, father, sister, and boyfriend, Karen Winters Schwartz’s novel Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? takes the reader on that roller coaster with insight and sympathy for all. Spending time with this family will be a comfort to those who have had similar experiences and it will deepen the compassion of those who haven’t. The novel accurately portrays the complexities and strain of living with someone who has a mental illness, but it also offers hope as a result of the medical world’s increasing understanding of biochemical imbalances in the brain.
– Ginnah Howard, author of Night Navigation
Where Are the Cocoa Puffs? is a tragic tale of a family besieged by per¬haps the most insidious of all diseases. It is one of those rare reads that can teach us something about the trials faced by those attempting to live with or support loved ones with mental illness, while also teaching us something about ourselves. It is a story of betrayal and anguish, of coming to terms with loss and accepting alternatives all of us should pray we never suffer. If you already know how arduous living with mental disorders can be, you owe it to the author to read this book. She has given your cause a beautiful voice — a fine example of the perseverance and will required to love someone so afflicted. But if you only think you know the trials and tribulations endured by those poor souls, you owe this read to yourself.
– Donald R. Dempsey, author of Betty’s Child
July 1, 2013
Although this is a novel, the author must have first hand knowledge of living with a manic-depressive person. My daughter was finally diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder at the age of 20 after years of progressively worsening manic swings. We did not have the advantage of having a psychiatrist in the family, as in the book. In fact, while trying to seek help for her when I first realized that her mood swings were far more than just teenage angst, her MD led me to believe that it was my bad parenting that led to her behavior, not a mental illness on her part. I suspect this happens many times as this disorder is so vague at first. Our family journey closely followed the family in the novel, especially the descriptions of how the mom felt (since I experienced that first hand. Thankfully our daughter has not been hospitalized....yet. With this disease, one never knows when the next shoe will drop.
A must read for anyone who wants to understand what living with a bipolar person is like.
A must read for anyone who wants to understand what living with a bipolar person is like.
October 19, 2010
This was written by the sister of one of my coworkers. Though a fiction book it is based on the authors experiences with her daughter.
It was insightful and I enjoyed the telling of this families story, from everyone's point of view.
It was insightful and I enjoyed the telling of this families story, from everyone's point of view.
May 17, 2011
A snapshot of a family coming out of denial, blame, shame and confusion that gripped them with fear, but also a snapshot of acceptance. An intimate experience into the mind of a young woman whose illness was misinterpreted as every thing but an illness, even by her.
September 29, 2012
A great look into Bipolar Disorder - how it affects everyone involved, not just the "owner" of the illness. Intriguing story. While the ending was not what I expected (or wanted), it's very much a should read for anyone wanting to see into the world of Bipolar Disorder.
December 11, 2010
A great read!
August 21, 2012
I liked this more than Reis's Pieces. I think it's because I attached myself to more of the players. I felt for/about them more strongly, and found myself more absorbed by each page.
I don't know if it was a good idea or a really bad idea to read this while dealing with my own extremely hormonal (pre)teenager. On the one hand, it makes me intensely appreciative of how good I've got it. On the other hand. If she were to exhibit signs of this, would I immediately start flipping out, flashing to what Amanda and her family went through? Would I have the ability to be patient? Or would I completely flip out like Carol did?
Despite the fact that her illness makes her a serious raging bitch, I like Amanda. I like this character a lot. Which makes what she goes through so much more painful to read. And even though you like her, it doesn't stop you from wondering why everyone around her, especially the brand spankin' new boyfriend, doesn't run screaming for the hills.
Ryan is a fantastic character, but he's a little too Prince Charming. Yes, he loses his temper a few times, but he puppy dogs back for more. During the camping trip, it's understandable, because she levels out, and the family is something new and wonderful to him. But seriously, if I'd just started dating someone and they acted like this, I don't think I could've stuck it out, great sex or not.
Which leads back to my original insight of whether I could deal with this or not. I think I would be pre-support group Carol. Angry and frustrated and hurt, and having awful thoughts about wanting a child gone, gone, gone, just to stop what is seriously messing her world up.
I had a harder time empathizing with Jerry. I guess he just felt more removed from me because he took a clinical approach on almost everything. Christy, I went back and forth between awful heart wrenching sympathy and wanting to throttle her. But the scene where her sister invites her out to eat dinner pretty much destroyed my heart. I could see this happening between any sisters, ill or not. I could see it happening to my niece with her mother. So that definitely put Christy on firmer footing with me.
I think the title of the book is perfection. I started out thinking it would have a direct connection to Amanda, that maybe she had an episode because someone ate the last of the Cocoa Puffs. But the actual origin of it is so much better than that. It relates to how this illness effects those around the person so deeply, and can screw with even the most basic daily activity.
I wish we'd had a "bad guy". We had a glimpse of what could have been with Sarah, mentally blaming the fact that Amanda had always gotten what she wanted, and people are so quick to slap a label on. But that passed by the way side too quickly. So much of mental illness gets pushed to the side as, "Just another bad kid", and people are quick to turn a blind eye to a very real sickness.
Maybe she can include that in her next book. I look forward to reading it.
I don't know if it was a good idea or a really bad idea to read this while dealing with my own extremely hormonal (pre)teenager. On the one hand, it makes me intensely appreciative of how good I've got it. On the other hand. If she were to exhibit signs of this, would I immediately start flipping out, flashing to what Amanda and her family went through? Would I have the ability to be patient? Or would I completely flip out like Carol did?
Despite the fact that her illness makes her a serious raging bitch, I like Amanda. I like this character a lot. Which makes what she goes through so much more painful to read. And even though you like her, it doesn't stop you from wondering why everyone around her, especially the brand spankin' new boyfriend, doesn't run screaming for the hills.
Ryan is a fantastic character, but he's a little too Prince Charming. Yes, he loses his temper a few times, but he puppy dogs back for more. During the camping trip, it's understandable, because she levels out, and the family is something new and wonderful to him. But seriously, if I'd just started dating someone and they acted like this, I don't think I could've stuck it out, great sex or not.
Which leads back to my original insight of whether I could deal with this or not. I think I would be pre-support group Carol. Angry and frustrated and hurt, and having awful thoughts about wanting a child gone, gone, gone, just to stop what is seriously messing her world up.
I had a harder time empathizing with Jerry. I guess he just felt more removed from me because he took a clinical approach on almost everything. Christy, I went back and forth between awful heart wrenching sympathy and wanting to throttle her. But the scene where her sister invites her out to eat dinner pretty much destroyed my heart. I could see this happening between any sisters, ill or not. I could see it happening to my niece with her mother. So that definitely put Christy on firmer footing with me.
I think the title of the book is perfection. I started out thinking it would have a direct connection to Amanda, that maybe she had an episode because someone ate the last of the Cocoa Puffs. But the actual origin of it is so much better than that. It relates to how this illness effects those around the person so deeply, and can screw with even the most basic daily activity.
I wish we'd had a "bad guy". We had a glimpse of what could have been with Sarah, mentally blaming the fact that Amanda had always gotten what she wanted, and people are so quick to slap a label on. But that passed by the way side too quickly. So much of mental illness gets pushed to the side as, "Just another bad kid", and people are quick to turn a blind eye to a very real sickness.
Maybe she can include that in her next book. I look forward to reading it.
April 29, 2011
I dithered between three and four stars for a while, but settled on four because what this book does right, it does right very well. Although the story jumps from POV to POV like a kid trying to decide on just one treat at a candy store, the real MC is Carol, the mother of a bipolar child. We watch and feel with her as she learns that her daughter isn't merely abnormally irritable and angry, as she struggles with what it means to have a mentally ill child, as she fumes at the injustice of the genetic lottery, at the reactions and lack of sympathy from her friends and acquaintances, from society in general, and finally connects with others and accepts her new reality. This thread is very real, very raw, and it's obvious without looking up the author's bio that this is a reflection of what she went through herself. The emotions are painful, beautiful, and messy.
But messy is where lies my the bulk of my criticism. The MC is Carol, but sometimes her story is drowned out in the sea of other POVs and we often get lost along the way. I see what the author was trying to do here - paint a scene of the entire microcosm of the family, how the illness of one member effects each person differently. But I can't help but wonder if certain parts would not have packed more punch for the story and the reader if, instead of always knowing what was going through the others' heads at every point along the way, we could have gotten those reactions through the filter of Carol. Her other daughter's very real issues with being ignored in the wake of the illness comes to mind.
I enjoyed the story despite the sometimes stifling amount of POVs, and I would definitely recommend as not only a good story, but as a window into understanding what it's like to live with someone mentally ill.
P.S. Did anyone else expect something awful to happen after Ryan went and did that stupid thing towards the end?
But messy is where lies my the bulk of my criticism. The MC is Carol, but sometimes her story is drowned out in the sea of other POVs and we often get lost along the way. I see what the author was trying to do here - paint a scene of the entire microcosm of the family, how the illness of one member effects each person differently. But I can't help but wonder if certain parts would not have packed more punch for the story and the reader if, instead of always knowing what was going through the others' heads at every point along the way, we could have gotten those reactions through the filter of Carol. Her other daughter's very real issues with being ignored in the wake of the illness comes to mind.
I enjoyed the story despite the sometimes stifling amount of POVs, and I would definitely recommend as not only a good story, but as a window into understanding what it's like to live with someone mentally ill.
P.S. Did anyone else expect something awful to happen after Ryan went and did that stupid thing towards the end?
January 14, 2011
When I chose this e-book online, I thought I had read in the description that it was a true story, so when I realized it was just a novel, I was a little disappointed at first. I thought about it though and all the brushes I have had with young women with a Bipolar diagnosis from when I worked in group homes and treatment centers and felt that it must come pretty close to what it must really feel like to all of a sudden realize that your child isn't just "difficult", but that there is actually something wrong. To have to decide to get treatment and what it would mean to tell others in your life. The stigmas and assumptions that people make about those with mental illness can be a hard thing to face for everyone involved. It was worth the read, though I think I'm still going to try and find a non-fiction book on this subject.
October 6, 2021
I really struggled with how to rate this. It's an important story to be told, but all the characters felt one dimensional and flat. There were too many POVs that switched back and forth within chapters with no warning. I don't understand the weird and unnecessary thoughts about David and his attraction to his own cousin. The tension between Tom and his sons also felt odd and out of place. I wanted to hear more from Amanda and maybe even see an interaction between her and her doctor.
I think this story would have had more impact if the author focused on just the parents, Amanda and Ryan's POVs and showed more depth to each character. It was still eye-opening and definitely elicits empathy, but side stories (like the detailed adult card games and Jerry and Tom's exercise changes) felt very out of place and took away from the focus of the story.
I think this story would have had more impact if the author focused on just the parents, Amanda and Ryan's POVs and showed more depth to each character. It was still eye-opening and definitely elicits empathy, but side stories (like the detailed adult card games and Jerry and Tom's exercise changes) felt very out of place and took away from the focus of the story.
April 4, 2013
i think this book accurately described what kind of hardships a family may go through with their child. at times i do start to wonder if the character has borderline personality disorder, but the two disorders have many similarities.
January 2, 2016
A well written story about a family's struggle to face the reality of their teenage daughter's bi-polar diagnosis. It's about Emily's boyfriend accepting her despite her illness. Easy to read to gain a better understanding about mental illness.
July 6, 2012
Interesting read.
July 10, 2013
Good book. I could definitely relate to it. Not crazy about the writer's style or the characters in the story, but a quick read.
October 12, 2013
I enjoyed this one more than her other book reis pieces.
I know a few people with bi polar and they are great people. I was able able to better understand them through this book.
I know a few people with bi polar and they are great people. I was able able to better understand them through this book.
June 26, 2014
Wonderful to hear views from each party involved especially the patient
February 13, 2016
This book played with every single one of my emotions. I enjoyed reading this book and could really empathize with each of the characters.
October 16, 2021
This book made me think there are much better books out there about bipolar disorder.
March 1, 2019
Overall a good read. The author captures the reality of what it's like for a family to go through the hard situation of dealing with a family member's mental illness. The writing skills lacked in terms of characters-for me there were some cringe-worthy moments that I just didn't understand the significance of. But where Schwartz lacks in seemingly the important area of writing good characters, she makes up for in writing a realistic experience of a young adult battling mental illness. This is not to say that the characters are not believable; they have good development and their reactions are accurate. I have no personal experience with bipolar disorder or manic depressive illness, so I cannot attest to the accuracy of the symptoms and behaviors portrayed. However, from what I do know about the illness and mental disorders in general, it seems to be well done to me. There were a few moments in particular that stuck with me for their relatability. It was certainly a depressing and emotional read more times than not, but also a meaningful one.
May 18, 2020
I just read some of the reviews for this book, and I honestly feel like I must have read a completely different book than they did.
This book honestly upset me a little bit, because Amanda is portrayed as just a monster. There is nothing humanizing or redeemable about her. And I could have gone with that, albeit with some cringing, if the POV had stayed with her parents. But we have moments when we go into Amanda's head, and even then, we don't see anything that makes her more human. We don't really see fear or shame or confusion, except in VERY brief snippets of dialogue from someone else's POV. Most of what we see is hate-filled rage. And it's very flat. There's no depth or complexity - it seems like the defining characteristic of a manic episode in this book is screaming F-bombs.
Again, if we had stuck with just the parents' POVs, it wouldn't bother me as much, because maybe that's all the parents are able to see. But if we're going to try to go into the head of someone with bipolar, there should be more to it than that. There's more going on in a bipolar episode than swear words.
There were a few other things that bothered me, although not nearly as much.
-Ryan's character didn't make sense to me - why on earth would he stick around when he just met her?
-Sometimes I felt like the book was preaching at me, data-dumping statistics and then telling me what to think about them. I didn't count or anything, but it seemed like terms like "obviously" and "of course" were used a lot, which bugs me - I felt like the book was telling me what to think, and those terms imply I'm stupid/wrong if I don't agree. But again, I didn't count, so that might be a misperception on my part.
-Along the same lines, there was a lot of telling instead of showing.
-I felt like the pacing was a little off; there were times when I really was not interested in what was happening (why the play by plays of the card games?) and times I had to force myself to keep going, although it's possible my experience of the pacing was skewed because I had to put the book down several times to cool off.
I will say, I think this book is pretty bravely honest about the parents' experience, and I think that's something that's needed out there in the world. I'm giving it a star for that, even though I really did not like the book.
If you're interested in better understanding the parents' journey, this may be a good read for you. If you're interested in better understanding the mind of a bipolar person, there are better options available.
This book honestly upset me a little bit, because Amanda is portrayed as just a monster. There is nothing humanizing or redeemable about her. And I could have gone with that, albeit with some cringing, if the POV had stayed with her parents. But we have moments when we go into Amanda's head, and even then, we don't see anything that makes her more human. We don't really see fear or shame or confusion, except in VERY brief snippets of dialogue from someone else's POV. Most of what we see is hate-filled rage. And it's very flat. There's no depth or complexity - it seems like the defining characteristic of a manic episode in this book is screaming F-bombs.
Again, if we had stuck with just the parents' POVs, it wouldn't bother me as much, because maybe that's all the parents are able to see. But if we're going to try to go into the head of someone with bipolar, there should be more to it than that. There's more going on in a bipolar episode than swear words.
There were a few other things that bothered me, although not nearly as much.
-Ryan's character didn't make sense to me - why on earth would he stick around when he just met her?
-Sometimes I felt like the book was preaching at me, data-dumping statistics and then telling me what to think about them. I didn't count or anything, but it seemed like terms like "obviously" and "of course" were used a lot, which bugs me - I felt like the book was telling me what to think, and those terms imply I'm stupid/wrong if I don't agree. But again, I didn't count, so that might be a misperception on my part.
-Along the same lines, there was a lot of telling instead of showing.
-I felt like the pacing was a little off; there were times when I really was not interested in what was happening (why the play by plays of the card games?) and times I had to force myself to keep going, although it's possible my experience of the pacing was skewed because I had to put the book down several times to cool off.
I will say, I think this book is pretty bravely honest about the parents' experience, and I think that's something that's needed out there in the world. I'm giving it a star for that, even though I really did not like the book.
If you're interested in better understanding the parents' journey, this may be a good read for you. If you're interested in better understanding the mind of a bipolar person, there are better options available.
September 3, 2023
The emotional cost of mental illness
As an RN who previously worked on a children and adolescent psychiatrist unit, this book gave me a much deeper appreciation for the struggle of a family dealing with a child or teen suffering with mental illness. It also shows how much support from friends and other parents with similar issues, can give comfort and hope..
As an RN who previously worked on a children and adolescent psychiatrist unit, this book gave me a much deeper appreciation for the struggle of a family dealing with a child or teen suffering with mental illness. It also shows how much support from friends and other parents with similar issues, can give comfort and hope..
September 1, 2025
I really enjoyed this read. It was nice to read about mental illness and have some education within the text. Mental health is a tough subject to talk about, or deal with. I feel like the book showed both sides really well. The suffering, and also the people who live with and love the one who suffers. It was a really good book and would recommend it to a lot of people.
July 1, 2023
I felt this book gave a great feel for what it is like to live with someone suffering from mental illness.
March 30, 2025
If you’ve ever been in a relationship of any kind with a person with bipolar disorder, then this book is for you.
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews