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Beauty Queens

Libba Bray (Goodreads Author)

3.62 · Rating details · 52,836 ratings · 7,783 reviews

The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras.

But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner.

What’s ...more

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Hardcover, 396 pages

Published May 24th 2011 by Scholastic Press

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· 52,836 ratings · 7,783 reviews

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Apr 05, 2011 Penny rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: chick-lit, check-your-brain-at-the-door, disappointing, grrrl-power, ya-fiction, reviewed-books, pirates

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, mix the plots from Drop Dead Gorgeous, Austin Powers, Mean Girls, Lost, and Lord of the Flies. Whip until nice and fluffy. Stir in equal parts Bollywood, Boy Bands, Pirates, An Evil Corporation, Crappy Parenting, Reality TV, Miss Teen USA pageants, and commercials aimed at teens. Next add 4 cups Teenage Sexuality (all types), 2 cups Feminism, 1/2 cup Identity Issues, 1/2 cup Self-Esteem Issues, 16-Teenage Beauty Queens (all types. Just make sure one ...more

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Jun 22, 2015 Khanh, first of her name, mother of bunnies rated it really liked it

This book is the definition of satire and black humor. If you're easily offended, this book is not for you. It's tongue-in-cheek, it's darkly humorous, and it's absolutely fa-bu-lous *snaps finger*. It confronts the truth behind our daily lives...it deals with issues of race, sexism, and stereotypes, while managing to retain a light, sarcastic tone. The main characters in this book are all beauty pageant competitors, but rest assured, they are strong feminist types, down to the take-charge Miss This book is the definition of satire and black humor. If you're easily offended, this book is not for you. It's tongue-in-cheek, it's darkly humorous, and it's absolutely fa-bu-lous *snaps finger*. It confronts the truth behind our daily lives...it deals with issues of race, sexism, and stereotypes, while managing to retain a light, sarcastic tone. The main characters in this book are all beauty pageant competitors, but rest assured, they are strong feminist types, down to the take-charge Miss Texas, who is a hell of a lot tougher than her big breasts and blonde hair would imply.

Taylor stood in a perfect three-quarters stance, arms hanging easily at her sides. “I have been class president three years in a row, homecoming queen, a National Merit Scholar, and a member of the National Honor Society, and I am a proud, card-carrying member of FAF — Femmes and Firearms. I can shoot a thirty-aught-six as well as a nine-millimeter and a Pink Lady paint gun. Last year, I took down my first buck, which I cleaned, filleted, and vacuum sealed, and with my taxidermy skills, I stuffed the head and used the antlers as a supercute jewelry tree, which I plan to market for the Armchair Shopping Network in the spring. That is American ingenuity. It’s what makes this country great, and if elected, I would be proud to serve. Thank you.”

Some brilliant genius decided to hold a pageant on a far-off island, and the 50 contestants of the Miss Teen Dream pageant, along with the army needed to maintain them, are being flown there. The only problem is that the plane crashes onto a deserted island and pretty much everyone dies. The surviving contestants will have to, well, survive on a delightful tropical island using their own wits, ingenuity, and pageant-approved talents. The contestants range from the confident and strong leader, Perky Miss Texas...to Adina, who had a plan before it came crashing down along with the plane.

Adina had entered … but for her own secret reasons. She would smile and pose, and when the time was right, she would show everyone what a joke this was — what a joke her mom’s life was. How stupid the girls in her high school were for believing in this beauty and happily-ever-after crap. She would use the money from the publication of her exposé to buy that drum kit herself. Maybe she’d even write a song about the whole experience. “Artificial Girl.” Or “Teen Dream Armageddon.” Yeah. Adina liked the sound of that. She would be a beauty pageant Che Guevara7.

The situations within the book are absolutely outrageous and ludicrous, and the "can-do" attitude that is pervasive throughout the book makes it seem more insane, but I loved every single moment.

Miss New Mexico stared, dumbfounded. “Stand out? Stand out! I have a freaking tray stuck in my forehead!” She broke into fresh sobs.

Taylor clapped for attention. “Miss New Mexico, let’s not get all down in the bummer basement where the creepy things live. There are people in heathen China who don’t even have airline trays. We have a lot to be grateful for.”

The girls not only have to survive, but must maintain their pageant form by constantly practicing and being in top form for the competition once they're rescued...

“Ohmigosh. No food at all.” Tiara sank down on the sand as if the full weight of their predicament had finally hit her. She blinked back tears. And then that megawatt smile that belonged on cereal boxes across the nation reappeared. “I am going to be so superskinny by pageant time!”

But cold, harsh reality soon sets in. They're probably fucked.

"I’m so hungry. Even hungrier than when my mom put me on that grapefruit and hot sauce diet before the Miss Tupelo pageant last year.”

“I’ve done that diet,” Nicole said.

Shanti nodded. “Me, too. Except without the grapefruit.”

Tiara’s eyes filled with tears. “All those years of starving myself and now I’m really starving.”

“Feels like we’ve been in training for the wrong pageant,” Nicole said with a sigh.

Their bellies ached with hunger, and the earlier thrill of losing a few pounds before pageant time had been replaced with a terrible, desperate longing for food.

I know that from the quotes, the book seems very lighthearted and silly, don't let that fool you, because this book deals with a lot of serious issues, albeit in a very offhanded manner. The issue of race is a particularly noticeable one, it's mentioned sometimes in a flippant manner.

For a second, Nicole wasn’t sure that she should go with these white girls. They sounded like they’d gone straight-up crazy, and the only other brown girl was giving her an eyeful of attitude. Nicole did what she’d been taught since she was little and her parents had moved into an all-white neighborhood: She smiled and made herself seem as friendly and nonthreatening as possible.

But that little quote right there is the harsh reality of being black or minority in America. African-Americans have to blend in. They have to appear cultured. They have to be non-threatening in order to be accepted. This book also confronts the double-standards of race.

“You don’t think the pageant’s a little racist? I mean, in the whole history of the pageant, an African-American girl has only won once — Sherry Sparks.”

In the forty-year history of the Miss Teen Dream Pageant, she was the only African-American winner — until it was revealed that Sherry had once shoplifted an eye shadow from an Easy Rx store and she was drummed out in shame. It didn’t matter that in the years since then, two white contestants had been disqualified for sexy phone photos, or that last year’s winner, Miss Florida, had been forced to apologize when it was discovered that she had gotten drunk at a frat party and a video surfaced of her sloppily twirling batons in her underwear and bra. No, it was still Sherry Sparks they talked about.

This was a hilarious, darkly humorous, witty, and altogether fantastic book. ...more

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May 21, 2011 Emily May rated it it was amazing

Shelves: feminism, young-adult, 2011

According to this book and the Teen Dream Beauty contestants, women and particularly girls tend to apologise immediately before or after voicing their opinion. For example: "I'm sorry but I just think..." or "I really don't like such-and-such, sorry but that's just my opinion". So in true girl power spirit I'm going to openly, honestly and without apology declare that I EFFIN' LOVED THIS BOOK! In every single possible way.

This is what every teenage girl should be reading. In fact, scratch that,
According to this book and the Teen Dream Beauty contestants, women and particularly girls tend to apologise immediately before or after voicing their opinion. For example: "I'm sorry but I just think..." or "I really don't like such-and-such, sorry but that's just my opinion". So in true girl power spirit I'm going to openly, honestly and without apology declare that I EFFIN' LOVED THIS BOOK! In every single possible way.

This is what every teenage girl should be reading. In fact, scratch that, it's what every teenager regardless of gender should be reading. This is the novel that has compiled it all, pretty much every single young adult issue has been condensed into this 380 (give or take) page book of awesomeness. I won't go shouting about it being everybody's favourite book... I'm sure that just isn't true and the mixed reviews so far have only proved my concerns about Libba Bray's humour not suiting everyone and the strange format in which the book is written also won't appeal to every single person. But, god if it isn't important!

It says everything that needs to be said. It also says what people think and don't say because they're afraid of looking bad or being laughed at or being pitied. It's not just a book about gender, feminism, slut-shaming, beauty myths, depression, family issues, homosexuality, transexuality, race, racism, disabilities and feeling inadequate. It's about all of those things combined on a desert island where a bunch of Teen Beauty contestants struggle to survive without hair straighteners, make-up and lotions.

I expected this to be another 'bitch' book. What do I mean? I mean the stories where girls turn on each other and destroy one another through carefully manipulated psychological abuse. I expected a combination of Lord of the Flies and 'Mean Girls'. This is not that book. This story is the one where girls, who in other circumstances are little more than each other's competition, come together in a time of crisis and find that just by sticking together and opening up to one another they come to understand more about themselves and how they are far more important than the labels they wear.

This is the message I've always wanted to see and I understand why some people don't think this is the reality. I've read some reviews where it seems to be the opinion that girls in these circumstances would turn on each other in true high school bitchy fashion. I disagree. Yeah, I'm going to say that (and I'm not going to say sorry either, lol). I think that, in fact, I know from experience that people act differently when in a crisis. Priorities change and you see whole new sides of people's personalities. That is what happens here. When the girls' world is turned upside down, they do what they must to survive and, through doing so, realise a great deal of important stuff too. What I love most is that while Libba Bray's message about beauty being of no real importance is obvious, she also works to show the reader how that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with a girl wanting to look nice. This is an expression of sexuality and the novel's all for that. Can a girl who wears make-up be a feminist? Of course, ridiculous question!

This is a book about survival, femininity and (kinda cheesy but I love it) being yourself. I thought it was wonderful and all the time managed to stay on the right side of that fine line between feminism and misandry. If you learn nothing else from this book, at least take away the fact that every opinion is just as important and you should never apologise for your own... on that note, I am completely, shamelessly and unapologetically in love with this book. ...more

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May 20, 2011 karen rated it it was amazing

Shelves: why-yes-i-ya, girls-gone-wild

BITCHES!! HEY!! BITCHES!! OVER HERE!!

excuse me - i mean young ladies. put down that stephanie meyer book. is that cosmo girl?? yeah, lose that. stop reading the clique and get over here right now.

don't read anything else until you read this book. you can even stop reading this review, i don't care, as long as you read this book. well, the book comes out tomorrow, so you might as well finish reading this review after all.

when caris reviewed this book ages ago, i knew it was going to be a book t ...more

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May 06, 2014 Hailey (Hailey in Bookland) rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: owned, contemporary

4.5*

Reread for class 2017*
STILL SO AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS

“I love you for who you are, not who the world thinks you should be.”

This book is definitely one that you're either going to love or you're going to hate. I can see why people wouldn't like it but fortunately for me, I really really enjoyed this!! It wasn't what I expected but that was definitely a good thing!
PS. I listened to this on audiobook and I definitely recommend you do the same. The audiobook is narrated by Libba Bray herself and ...more

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Jan 21, 2019 Emma Giordano rated it really liked it

Shelves: audiobooks

4 Stars! I really enjoyed this book. Super funny, entertaining, and real.

CW: death/ mild violence, transphobia, racism, and sexism (all challenged in text)

I had a lot of fun with Beauty Queens! This story is very engaging and entertaining. Libba Bray is hilarious, and the many ridiculous situations these girls get into will absolutely keep you chuckling the entire time. If you disliked Lord of the Flies when you were forced to read it in high school, you may actually enjoy this story about teens 4 Stars! I really enjoyed this book. Super funny, entertaining, and real.

CW: death/ mild violence, transphobia, racism, and sexism (all challenged in text)

I had a lot of fun with Beauty Queens! This story is very engaging and entertaining. Libba Bray is hilarious, and the many ridiculous situations these girls get into will absolutely keep you chuckling the entire time. If you disliked Lord of the Flies when you were forced to read it in high school, you may actually enjoy this story about teens who have to build a small society when stranded on an island.

Beauty Queens is a fabulous character-driven novel. We have a fairly large cast of characters that are equally well-developed and unique. Libba Bray has clearly always had a talent for characterization. I was actually surprised to see how progressive this novel was for being published in 2012 as this book features a ton of diversity in terms of race, sexuality, gender, and disability. I personally felt all of these identities were handled with care and created some very authentic portrayals. (Also it’s HELLA feminist – woohoo!) I wouldn’t say they are my favorite literary ladies of all time, but they carried the story in a positive way and I deeply enjoyed getting to know them.

Omniscient narration does not always sit well with me and I unfortunately did not love the way we were jumping into the private thoughts of multiple characters in one short scene in this book. I don’t believe that’s a fault of author’s because she is consistently an exceptional writer; It’s just a personal preference of mine.

Additionally, I was not a huge fan of the ending. I was not expecting Beauty Queens to be as so political and have a large focus on economics. I actually think it added a lot of dimension and was necessary to tell the complete story, but I was not very interested. Some of the commentary throughout the novel was engaging, but the ending became a little far-fetched and outrageous for my taste. I greatly preferred following the girls attempting to survive on the island and interacting with each other to the secondary plotline that eventually closed out the story. It did make the book more complex and well-rounded, but I think I may have enjoyed it more if there story remained focused on the girls & their survival in the end.

I’m super glad I read Beauty Queens and would definitely recommend to anyone looking for a fun, humorous story that still possesses some deeper themes and great characters! ...more

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Jul 20, 2016 Nat rated it really liked it

Shelves: feminism, diverse-reads

I wanted to pick this book up because it reminded me of:

description

This review contains *spoilers*.

And also because Lair of Dreams left me in a bit of a reading slump, and what better way to get out of one than by reading another book by the same author, am I right?

“Our tale begins with a sudden fall from blue skies, with screams and prayers and a camera crew bravely recording every bit of the turbulence and drama.”

When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they str ...more

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Sep 24, 2011 Madeline rated it did not like it

Shelves: ugh, kids-and-young-adult

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. Before we begin, let me just say this: I feel really bad about the review I'm going to write here. Normally, I don't mind writing negative reviews - in fact, much for the same reason I always get a little thrill when someone trolls my reviews, I sort of enjoy doling out negative criticism (for the psychology behind this, please refer to Anton Ego's monologue on criticism at the end of Ratatouille) Especially when it's an author I dislike - I can and will trash Twilight until its memory is wiped ...more

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Sep 29, 2014 Petra-X Off having adventures rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2014-read, 10-star-books, 2015-reviews, fiction, reviewed

In Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the boys wrecked and alone on an island act as Golding says boys being true to their nature will. And it ain't pretty, gangs, anarchism, bullying, murder... It's a brilliant book.

So is Libba Bray's. What she has to say about women in Beauty Queens also wrecked and alone on an island, is that even the most dedicated fashionista of a girl with her acrylic nails and furry false eyelashes is solid when she has to be. In real life, these girls go home in the e In Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the boys wrecked and alone on an island act as Golding says boys being true to their nature will. And it ain't pretty, gangs, anarchism, bullying, murder... It's a brilliant book.

So is Libba Bray's. What she has to say about women in Beauty Queens also wrecked and alone on an island, is that even the most dedicated fashionista of a girl with her acrylic nails and furry false eyelashes is solid when she has to be. In real life, these girls go home in the evening kick off their stiletto heels, put on some jeans and see to the kids. Dinner, homework, ironing school uniform, making lunch boxes, and putting them to bed is the minimum amount of work. If they have a partner, it gets even more complicated.

Only then, only after they have looked after the family do they touch up their acrylics and add another coat to their toenails and ring the girlfriends for gossip, scandal and plans. Next day, when the kids have been breakfasted and sent on their way and the laundry loaded into the machine, our heroine will again be ghetto-fabulous with glossy pouted lips and looking like she wasn't really made of steel at all.

That's women, and Libba Bray got it in this geniusly funny book where every taboo, social norm and anything that gets in the way of women being true to themselves is knocked about and eventually trampled underfoot by all. All the girls will come to see their true worth although some of them do hang on to their self-image as dumb blonde but pretty until forced out of it by necessity. All the girls are different and some when they define themselves as capable women without any need to impress with looks will finds paths far different from that of the beauty pageant they were on their way to enter.

This isn't to say that all women are good cookies, no there are the truly evil sociopathic baddies too. Close to the ending the plot goes haywire (in a good way) and a very manipulative woman based on a real-life character is revealed. A bit of googling and you can easily find out who she is. To say more would be a spoiler.

This should be read alongside Lord of the Flies in school, but it won't be. It's too much fun, too many (actually not enough) lipsticks and definitely not literary enough. It is a 5 star read, and a good boost to confidence for teenage girls who think that looks are enough. They aren't unless they aspire to be in the Playboy Mansion or be famous like the Kardashian trash which is more than sad. They should read this book and see that they can do anything at all they want and still like putting on the paint and pouting for a selfie.

Read Dec 31,2014, reviewed Aug 22, 2015 ...more

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Jul 31, 2011 Nancy rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: library-books, shelf-inflicted, satire, lgbt, feminism-and-gender-studies, outlaw-reviews, audio-books, kids-and-teens, award-winners, disability

Cross-posted at Outlaw Reviews and at Shelf Inflicted

I was on the fence about this book. A story about teen beauty pageant contestants stranded on a desert island just doesn’t do anything for me. After reading Stephanie's review, I decided to try the audio version. At first, I thought it was ridiculous, irritating and just plain stupid. It wasn’t long before I was laughing and snorting in public places.

In the beginning, it was a little difficult to get to know the characters. The story is told ...more

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Jun 29, 2017 Matthew rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 2017, humor, young-adult, audio, library

This was a ridiculously fun book! A satire/lampoon of so many things it was hard to keep track (but I tried): beauty pageants, gender roles, commercialism, marketing, government corruption, etc. etc. etc.

It was bizarre . . . It was silly . . . It was fantastic!

While geared toward the YA crowd, I think the tongue-in-cheek cynicism is something that can be appreciated by anyone who enjoys smart, sarcastic humor. Bray makes a lot of really great points through a story that could easily be dismisse ...more

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Mar 02, 2015 Whitney Atkinson rated it really liked it

Shelves: feminism, lgbtqiap, audiobook, read-in-2015

This book was definitely very different than what I thought. I thought this was done really, really well and I couldn't dislike it because it just has so many amazing themes. I respect Libba Bray so, so much for writing this. There's so much representation and feminism and I definitely understand why it's an option for the juniors at my school to read as an independent novel. I just wish some of the boys would pick it up, too.
In the end, this was just a little too random and bizarre for me. I l ...more

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Jul 10, 2011 Amanda rated it it was ok

Shelves: blog, young-adult, cover-better-than-book, meh

Meh. Just meh. Beauty Queens is not at all what I expected. What I expected was a group of beauty queens crash land on an isolated island and it's not long before the ruthlessness of the pageant morphs into a violent "survival of the fittest" mentality, a la Lord of the Flies. I would have also settled for a dark and biting satire on consumerism and pop culture. Alas, what I got was an increasingly irritating "Girl Power!" message that never quite got off the ground as it never quite rejected ev Meh. Just meh. Beauty Queens is not at all what I expected. What I expected was a group of beauty queens crash land on an isolated island and it's not long before the ruthlessness of the pageant morphs into a violent "survival of the fittest" mentality, a la Lord of the Flies. I would have also settled for a dark and biting satire on consumerism and pop culture. Alas, what I got was an increasingly irritating "Girl Power!" message that never quite got off the ground as it never quite rejected everything it didactically preached against. As a message of female empowerment, it has all the depth of Day-to-Night Barbie (oh, how I remember that Barbie in her pink, tailored "go-getter" workplace dress that conveniently converted into a sparkly tulle evening number, proving to little girls that we could be serious and glamorous while we had it all).

To begin with, the novel was far too long and tried to pack in too much for what it was. Beauty queens crashing onto a deserted island is more than enough for a quirky, humorous read, but Bray packs everything she possibly can into the novel: pop culture gags, pro-LGBT messages, reclamation of female sexuality, skewerings of materialism and consumerism, secret lairs and evil mega-corporations. Hell, there's even an evil dictator named Mo-Mo who is a thinly veiled version of Kim Jong-Il. And on top of all of this is a thick layer of "You're perfect just the way you are!" frosting that makes everything A-Okay.

Now I'm a fan of all of these messages (and I especially applaud Bray for including lesbian, bisexual, and transgender characters). The problem is that the characters start off as stereotypical beauty queens, focused only on cosmetics, weight, dresses, and winning. The disconnect from society provided by the island gives them the opportunity to explore who they truly are without the consumer and societal "noise" telling girls what they should be. This is all well and good, but the girls seem to undergo an inauthentic sea-change in personality after building a few huts and sewing sparkly banners to attract help. They then become more intellectual, empowered versions of themselves, but no less stereotypical: the prickly feminist, the smart Indian girl, the tough lesbian, the defiant deaf girl, and the dumb bimbo who is trying, like, really hard to be smart. And then there is the tiny contingent of girls who survive for no other reason than to shoot off one-liners and help move the plot along. They're never given any depth or dimension, and are never really referred to by anything other than their "Miss . . . " title. The only interesting character is Taylor, the ultimate pageant girl, who finally snaps and, in a nod to Heart of Darkness and maybe even Tim O'Brien's Sweetheart of the Song Tra Bong, becomes one with the violence that has always lain dormant within her.

Bray vacillates between slapstick humor and serious messages. While I did enjoy the first few chapters and there were some lines that made me laugh, most of the humor was predictable and inspired only an eye-roll as I turned the page. Unfortunately, the smart stuff, the stuff that needs to be recognized and addressed, becomes lost in the fluff. The novel's own inane silliness ultimately downplays what could have been a more powerful exploration of being a girl in today's society. Or it could have been just a fun powder puff of a novel. Either way, it would have been better than what it ultimately turned out to be. I suppose I could be accused of taking this more seriously than I should have, but I think the same argument could be made of Bray. By the ending chapter, the girls dance their way off the stage while the narrator tells us what they're wearing and gives a synopsis of what their future lives hold. Like Day-to-Night Barbie, they look fabulous and have fabulously successful lives. For the same reason I ultimately got rid of Barbie, I think I'll get rid of Beauty Queens.

Cross posted at This Insignificant Cinder ...more

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Sep 09, 2016 Elle (ellexamines) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 5-star, sff-scifi-dystopias, z-2015reads, z-2015favs, she-did-that, lgbtq, elle-recs-list

The corporation would like to apologize for the preceding pages. Of course, it's not at all okay for girls to behave this way. Sex is not meant to be this– a consensual expression of love. No, sex is meant for selling cars. And beers. And religion.

This is one of the funniest books I've read in my life. If you're looking for an afternoon laughing at how fucked up our society is, laughing at all aspects of society and of women's beauty-queen treatment, this is the perfect book for you.

I'm not ...more

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Sep 04, 2015 Deanna rated it really liked it

I read this a few years ago and usually I don't remember much about a book after that long unless it was a particularly good read. This is one of those books that stayed with me because it was just so entertaining. I forgot to update my Goodreads with it but happened across a GR friends review and remembered.

I saw somewhere that someone said it's like "Lost" meets "Clueless" and I think that that is an accurate description...although maybe I would add "Mean Girls" and "Toddlers & Tiara's" to th ...more

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Mar 26, 2014 Kelly (and the Book Boar) rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-in-2014

Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

3.5 Stars

This program is brought to you by The Corporation: Because Your Life Can Always Be Better™.

You probably know The Corporation for its awesome products

and barrier breaking television programs like “Girls Gone Rumspringa”

but this special episode brings us back to The Corporation’s roots - The Miss Team Dream Beauty Pageant!!!!

No one ever expected a plane full of Teen Dream beauty contestants would crash (don’t worry, mos ...more

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Feb 12, 2011 Stacia (the 2010 club) rated it liked it

Shelves: extremely-unique, made-me-laugh, young-adult, realistic-general-or-lit-fiction

"Pirate rock stars? Please, that's like the heroin of television."

Beauty Queens : Proving that it is possible to have too much of a good thing.

2.5 stars. I would actually watch a show with pirate rock stars.

So this is satire. Before you read this book, it is important to know that it is not meant to be taken seriously. If you find yourself hating certain characters, they were probably written that way for a reason. I generally like satire, parodies, or anything using some form of ironic wit ...more

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Mar 21, 2011 Stephanie *Eff your feelings* rated it really liked it

Shelves: fiction, humor, ya, 2011

Kayso, like, after three books in a row that kinda sorta made me angry, I wanted to, like, read something totally funny and ridiculous. And I was like "Beauty Queens" a book about teen beauty queens on a plain, that like OMG, crashes on a desert island and they have to survive and stuff, wouldn't make me, like, have to think and stuff....none of that politicy stuff either....yuk.

But I was wrong. Yes this is a story about 50 beauty contestants for a pageant called Miss Teen Dream, and how the 12 ...more

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Jun 22, 2015 ♛Tash rated it liked it · review of another edition

Reading Beauty Queens evoked a lot of questions on what it means to be a woman in this pageant of life. The most important of which is - am I a Sparkle Pony or a Lost Girl?

I'm definitely a Sparkle Pony.

3.5 stars, quite an enjoyable, fast-paced read, equally laced with black humor and life affirmations, from start to finish.

“‎Just because you're funny doesn't mean you get to be cruel.”

And Beauty Queens truly is funny, but the humor is never disparaging, even when it confronts heavy subjects suc ...more

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Sep 08, 2017 prag ♻ rated it really liked it

Recommended to prag ♻ by: Elle (ellexamines)

surprise!!! i read books!!! and yes all my books come from elise's 5 star shelves now because there's nobody else i trust

maymay if you're a good friend you will see this review and if you see this review you will read this book

pragya out ...more

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Dec 18, 2020 Anna Luce rated it really liked it

Shelves: 4-favourites, 2020-reviews, favourite-characters, light-reads

/ / / Read more reviews on my blog / / /

This novel proved to be the perfect 'escape' read. While I may not have been enamoured by every single book I've read by Libba Bray (the finales to her series left me a wee bit unsatisfied) I do consider her to be an amazing writer and a favourite of mine. Usually, however, her books are in the realms of the 'historical', so I wasn't sure what to except from Beauty Queens, I just knew that after watching a certain series I fancied a Lord of the Flies kind / / / Read more reviews on my blog / / /

This novel proved to be the perfect 'escape' read. While I may not have been enamoured by every single book I've read by Libba Bray (the finales to her series left me a wee bit unsatisfied) I do consider her to be an amazing writer and a favourite of mine. Usually, however, her books are in the realms of the 'historical', so I wasn't sure what to except from Beauty Queens, I just knew that after watching a certain series I fancied a Lord of the Flies kind of tale (with a female ensemble). And wow...Bray sure delivered. Beauty Queens was everything I didn't know I wanted. This is the kind of satirical teen comedy that will definitely appeal to fans of classics such as Heathers, But I'm a Cheerleader, and Mean Girls. The story, writing, and characters are all over the top in the best possible of ways. This is the funniest book I've read in 2020.

Beauty Queens begins with 'the Corporation' addressing us readers, “This story is brought to you by The Corporation: Because Your Life Can Always Be Better™. We at The Corporation would like you to enjoy this story, but please be vigilant while reading”. We are also told to keep vigilant as the story we are about to read may have some 'subversive' content. Throughout the novel there are footnotes by 'the Corporation', sometimes advertising ridiculous products and sometimes professing distaste or disapproval over a certain scene.
The novel mainly follows nine beauty queens contestants who after surviving a plane crash that killed the majority of the other contestants (one for each state) find themselves on a seemingly deserted island. Rather than focusing on two or three contestants, Bray gives each of these nine beauty queens a backstory (I think only three contestants do not receive this treatment). We start with Adina, Miss New Hampshire, an aspiring journalist who joined the contest only to expose how misogynistic it is. At first Adina is snarky and not a great team player. Although she calls herself a feminist she has very 'fixed' notion of feminism, and her relationship with the other contestants will slowly challenge her previous views (on the contest itself, on liking thinks deemed 'girly',etc.). She immediately takes against Taylor, Miss Texas, the 'leader' of the surviving beauty queens. Taylor insists that they should keep practicing their routines for the contest as she believes that help is on the way. Taylor is badass, and I definitely enjoyed her character arc (which definitely took her down an unexpected path). We then have many other entertaining and compelling beauty queens: Mary Lou, who becomes fast friends with Adina in spite of their seemingly opposing views when it comes to sex; Nicole, the only black contestant, who wants to be a doctor but has been time and again been pressured into contests by her mother; participating as the only black contestant faces racism from the contest itself and the her peers; Shanti, an Indian American girl from California, who initially sees Nicole as 'competition' but as time goes by finds that she is only who understands how challenging it can be to navigate predominately white spaces; Petra, a level-headed girl who faces a different kind of prejudice; Jennifer, a queer girl who loves comics and has often been deemed a 'troubled kid'; Sosie, who is deaf and always feels that she has to be happy in order to make others feel more 'comfortable'; and, last but not least, Tiara, who at first seems like a comedic character, the ditzy or dumb blonde, but who soon proves that she is a very empathetic girl.
The girls don't always get on with one another. In spite of their different backgrounds, interests, and temperaments, they have all been made to feel inadequate or 'too much'.
As if surviving a deserted island wasn't difficult enough a certain corporation is running some secret operation not far from the girls' camp. Throw in some pirates/reality show contestants and there you have it.
Bray satirises everything under the sun: reality shows, beauty contests, pop culture, beauty products, corporations. While some of her story's elements may be a bit 'problematic' in 2020, her satire never came across as mean spirited. In the end this is a story about acceptance and female solidarity. Bray shows all the ways in which society pressures and controls teenage girls, allowing for diverse perspectives and voices. Most of all, this novel is hilarious. Bray handles her over the top storyline and characters perfectly.
What more can I say (or write)? I loved it. This is the kind of uplifting read I would happily re-read. ...more

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Sep 20, 2018 Krista Regester rated it it was amazing

Shelves: favorites

How the HELL has this not been made into a movie.

I implore you to listen*** to this.

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Apr 05, 2011 Meredith Holley rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: everyone

Recommended to Meredith by: Caris

Shelves: hilarious, reviewed, utopia-dystopia, motherless-daughters, slaves, girls-rule, romantic

In most ways, this book was absolutely written for me. It is LOST + Miss Congeniality + Susan Faludi’s Backlash. Sarah Palin and GW stand-ins make appearances to be generally villainous. It has lovely, lovely girls, lots of action, and some pretty hilarious jokes. Oh, and hilarious jokes in the footnotes. (Because why use endnotes, people? No need to be coy.) There is one about putting dolls on a pedestal that is my favorite joke in the book, if you want to know. The odd thing about the book is ...more

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Jun 20, 2016 Dana Kenedy (Dana and the Books) rated it really liked it

Shelves: read-in-2016, young-adult

A lot funnier than I expected. Also, such a girl power book!

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Dec 02, 2012 Rose rated it really liked it

Shelves: audiobooks, romance, contemporary, humor, favorites, tbr-challenge, young-adult, quarterly-challenge-8-2013

Whoa, where do I start on Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens"? I haven't had a book completely blindside me as far as content goes for quite some time. I'm clearly at a loss for words as I write this review, because 1. I'm trying not to hold my sides from laughing so much at this book, and 2. I don't quite know how to explain "Beauty Queens" appeal when it has so many elements in it that work, but theoretically shouldn't. That might sound odd, but I'll explain it as I go into further detail.

I went into Whoa, where do I start on Libba Bray's "Beauty Queens"? I haven't had a book completely blindside me as far as content goes for quite some time. I'm clearly at a loss for words as I write this review, because 1. I'm trying not to hold my sides from laughing so much at this book, and 2. I don't quite know how to explain "Beauty Queens" appeal when it has so many elements in it that work, but theoretically shouldn't. That might sound odd, but I'll explain it as I go into further detail.

I went into this novel with one idea of what it would be about, but was completely surprised when it turned several measures on its head and ran with them. There were times when I thought "Oh no, Bray did not just go there," and pretty much in the scheme of events, Bray's response was "Yes, I did go there, and I'll take it one step further." A word of warning: this novel tackles satire and dark humor alongside addressing diversity, commercialism (very heavy amount of commercialism), sexuality, feminism/gender roles, among other measures. I firmly believe that this book will not be a one size fits all in terms of how it comes across.

And yet I loved, no, adored this book. It made me laugh for a good portion of the read. There were some things I had to swallow with a huge spoon of sugar, but I think Bray's work had a lot of heart behind it. Not so much on the developmental side as much as it was on the "off-the-cuff", eye to stereotyping that seems to poke fun at itself whenever it can. And yet it had many important things to say about being true to who you are and not giving into the mixed messages that are sold to you in society - that's what I came out of it with and I do appreciate that Bray chose to tell this tale the way she told it. Heck, I didn't know Bray had a background in marketing, and with the commercial incorporation in this book, I thought the way she delivered them were brilliant. The footnotes were a fun add as well (and this was one of the times I would say they were done very well in fiction).

The long and short of what this book is about is this: a group of teen beauty queens from the United States crash land on a deserted island and are left to fend for and among themselves. Some of them make it, some of them don't, but this novel is about the ones that do. You'd think this would be slightly depressing, but it has this cheerful snark that doesn't hesitate to punch where it can.

There's a fair helping of characters here that are somewhat stereotypical. Token confident Texas girl (who pulls a Rena* a good way into the novel), token dim-witted beauty, token minorities, token girl with a disability, etc. Technically, token characters would have me on my toes to protest and rage, but the sharp humor they put across somehow endeared me to them. I gradually got to know them as more than their purported portrayals, even if there were certain places where the novel developed them and became a little sluggish in the process. The humor was very self aware, and Bray doesn't hesitate to turn certain troupes on their heads and come across with them in ways you'd least expect. There are quite a bit of characters to keep up with, but surprisingly I got to know each of them. What made the backbone of this novel was the way they interacted with each other to survive and while I wouldn't say the changes within them were necessarily deep, detailed or profound, they were noteworthy and showcased a clear growth from where they were in the beginning of the novel.

The girls are all a part of the pageant for their own reasons, some even having quite a bit of secrets to hide, but the reveals are fun, and ultimately as the novel goes forward, there are a number of colorful characters that the girls come across that even add to the enjoyment of the novel. I actually ended up enjoying the pirates with the hot abs, even. =P

In the end, this was a fun novel that I enjoyed immensely for my first read from Bray, and I would not hesitate to re-read it again. I recommend it for those who want a funny story with some strong witty commentary about contemporary society, female empowerment, and just a very different read from the typical YA spectrum.

Overall score: 4/5

*Note: Rena is a character from the anime series Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni. If you have ever seen that series, you would kind of know what I'm talking about. :P ...more

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May 23, 2011 Thomas rated it it was amazing

Shelves: five-stars, lgbtq, humor, young-adult, 2nd-favorites

I wish I had enough money to buy every girl attending my high school a copy of Beauty Queens. Actually, I wish I had enough money to buy every girl from the age of 15 to 21 a copy of this book. I bow down to Libba Bray for pulling off such a crazy concept - a plane of beauty pageant contestants crash on an island - when it could have gone horribly wrong in the hands of a less competent author.

On the outside, Beauty Queens is about an ensemble of shallow, teenaged girls surviving on an island. Bu ...more

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Sep 10, 2017 Romie rated it really liked it

Shelves: bi-mc, queer-books, poc, contemporary, young-adult, owned-books, disabilities-mental-health, gelibteh, sapphic

It’s a book I never thought I would read. Simply because the synopsis didn’t sound that great to me. But people kept talking about it, so I thought ‘Why not?’ and I’m glad I gave it a try.

This book follows thirteen teenage girls - pageant beauty queens - after their plane crashed on a deserted island. At least that’s what they thought.

Beauty Queens doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s probably one of the most hilarious books I’ve ever read. But it’s also one of the most important.
It’s important b ...more

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May 23, 2011 Catie rated it liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: humor, ya, audio, read-in-2011

This is the book that the other half and I decided to listen to on the combined eighteen hours round trip of driving that we endured last week. I laughed, I giggled, I chortled, I smirked. I listened quietly. I zoned out. I may or may not have fallen asleep for about twenty minutes during track three. I cringed. I looked around desperately for something to pack my ear canals with. I begged for a music break.

“We just have to get through it! We can’t stop now! We’re so damn close….”

“Why do we ha ...more

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Dec 20, 2017 sofia (sam willows) rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2017-tbr, 2017, favorites, favorite-series-and-standalones, in-english, lgbtq, standalone, contemporaries-read, couples-i-like, own

4.5 ; rtc

are you a woman?
do you identify as a woman?
do you deal with sexism on a daily basis?
are you a trans woman?
are you a gay/bisexual woman?
are you a woman who has a high sex drive?
are you a woman of color?
are you a woman who likes makeup?
are you a woman who doesn’t?
are you fed up with the way the media represents women, as sex objects to please men?
are you a feminist?

if you answered yes to any of these questions, you NEED to read this book. if you didn’t, I urge you to read it an ...more

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Feb 19, 2016 Sarah DiMento rated it it was ok

Shelves: ya, read-in-2016, didn-t-finish

This is my first DNF of 2016. I listed to this on audiobook and honestly I'd give the audiobook itself five stars. It's narrated by Libba Bray herself and she's fantastic. The book made me laugh at first, but it got old fast. I know it's supposed to be satire, and I can appreciate that, but I just can't with these girls anymore. ...more

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Dead Sea Cosmetics USA	1	5	Feb 15, 2020 03:13PM
Play Book Tag: [Trim] Beauty Queens - Libba Bray - 5*	2	11	Oct 20, 2019 03:56PM
Challenge Corner: Beauty Queens, by Libba Bray - Starting October 3rd 2019	6	6	Oct 05, 2019 07:14PM
YA Buddy Readers'...: Beauty Queens by Libba Bray - Restarting October 3rd 2019	64	220	Oct 05, 2019 07:13PM
YA Buddy Readers'...: Beauty Queens by Libba Bray - GBR - Starting January 1st 2017	26	177	Jan 06, 2018 05:09PM

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About Libba Bray

Libba Bray

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What is it about writing an author bio that gives me that deer-in-headlights feeling? It's not exactly like I'm going to say "I was born in Alabama…" and somebody's going to jump up and snarl, "Oh yeah? Prove it!" At least I hope not.

I think what gets me feeling itchy is all that emphasis on the facts of a life, while all the juicy, relevant, human oddity stuff gets left on the cutting room floor. ...more

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Trivia About Beauty Queens

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Quotes from Beauty Queens

“Why do girls always feel like they have to apologize for giving an opinion or taking up space in the world? Have you ever noticed that?" Nicole asked. "You go on websites and some girl leaves a post and if it's longer than three sentences or she's expressing her thoughts about some topic, she usually ends with, 'Sorry for the rant' or 'That may be dumb, but that's what I think.” — 449 likes

“Really, being a librarian is a much more dangerous job than you realize.” — 245 likes

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