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Beauty Queens

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3.62  ·  Rating details ·  46,209 ratings  ·  7,318 reviews
The 50 contestants in the Miss Teen Dream pageant thought this was going to be a fun trip to the beach, where they could parade in their state-appropriate costumes and compete in front of the cameras.

But sadly, their airplane had another idea, crashing on a desert island and leaving the survivors stranded with little food, little water, and practically no eyeliner.

What’s
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Hardcover, 396 pages
Published May 24th 2011 by Scholastic Press
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Popular Answered Questions
Delaney get your heteronormative bullshit out of my face (but yes, there is. although it is not the main plot of the book)
Florence Bernice Yes. The name of the character is Sosie Simmons. Enjoy the book!

Community Reviews

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3.62  · 
Rating details
 ·  46,209 ratings  ·  7,318 reviews


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Penny
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a large bowl, mix the plots from Drop Dead Gorgeous, Austin Powers, Mean Girls, Lost, and Lord of the Flies. Whip until nice and fluffy. Stir in equal parts Bollywood, Boy Bands, Pirates, An Evil Corporation, Crappy Parenting, Reality TV, Miss Teen USA pageants, and commercials aimed at teens. Next add 4 cups Teenage Sexuality (all types), 2 cups Feminism, 1/2 cup Identity Issues, 1/2 cup Self-Esteem Issues, 16-Teenage Beauty Queens (all types. Just make sure one ...more
Khanh, first of her name, mother of bunnies
This book is the definition of satire and black humor. If you're easily offended, this book is not for you. It's tongue-in-cheek, it's darkly humorous, and it's absolutely fa-bu-lous *snaps finger*. It confronts the truth behind our daily lives...it deals with issues of race, sexism, and stereotypes, while managing to retain a light, sarcastic tone. The main characters in this book are all beauty pageant competitors, but rest assured, they are strong feminist types, down to the take-charge Miss ...more
Emily May
May 21, 2011 rated it it was amazing

According to this book and the Teen Dream Beauty contestants, women and particularly girls tend to apologise immediately before or after voicing their opinion. For example: "I'm sorry but I just think..." or "I really don't like such-and-such, sorry but that's just my opinion". So in true girl power spirit I'm going to openly, honestly and without apology declare that I EFFIN' LOVED THIS BOOK! In every single possible way.

This is what every teenage girl should be reading. In fact, scratch that,
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Hailey (Hailey in Bookland)
4.5*

Reread for class 2017*
STILL SO AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS

“I love you for who you are, not who the world thinks you should be.”

This book is definitely one that you're either going to love or you're going to hate. I can see why people wouldn't like it but fortunately for me, I really really enjoyed this!! It wasn't what I expected but that was definitely a good thing!
PS. I listened to this on audiobook and I definitely recommend you do the same. The audiobook is narrated by Libba Bray herself and
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karen
May 20, 2011 rated it it was amazing
BITCHES!! HEY!! BITCHES!! OVER HERE!!

excuse me - i mean young ladies. put down that stephanie meyer book. is that cosmo girl?? yeah, lose that. stop reading the clique and get over here right now.

don't read anything else until you read this book. you can even stop reading this review, i don't care, as long as you read this book. well, the book comes out tomorrow, so you might as well finish reading this review after all.

when caris reviewed this book ages ago, i knew it was going to be a book t
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Emma Giordano
Jan 21, 2019 rated it really liked it
Shelves: audiobooks
4 Stars! I really enjoyed this book. Super funny, entertaining, and real.

CW: death/ mild violence, transphobia, racism, and sexism (all challenged in text)

I had a lot of fun with Beauty Queens! This story is very engaging and entertaining. Libba Bray is hilarious, and the many ridiculous situations these girls get into will absolutely keep you chuckling the entire time. If you disliked Lord of the Flies when you were forced to read it in high school, you may actually enjoy this story about teens
...more
Melissa ♥ Dog/Wolf Lover ♥ Martin
This book was cray but it was a bit of fun!







Happy Reading!

Mel 🖤
Nat
Jul 20, 2016 rated it really liked it
I wanted to pick this book up because it reminded me of:

descriptiondescriptiondescriptiondescription
This review contains *spoilers*.

And also because Lair of Dreams left me in a bit of a reading slump, and what better way to get out of one than by reading another book by the same author, am I right?

“Our tale begins with a sudden fall from blue skies, with screams and prayers and a camera crew bravely recording every bit of the turbulence and drama.”

When a plane crash strands thirteen teen beauty contestants on a mysterious island, they str
...more
Madeline
Sep 24, 2011 rated it did not like it
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Petra Eggs
In Lord of the Flies by William Golding, the boys wrecked and alone on an island act as Golding says boys being true to their nature will. And it ain't pretty, gangs, anarchism, bullying, murder... It's a brilliant book.

So is Libba Bray's. What she has to say about women in Beauty Queens also wrecked and alone on an island, is that even the most dedicated fashionista of a girl with her acrylic nails and furry false eyelashes is solid when she has to be. In real life, these girls go home in the e
...more
Nancy
Cross-posted at Outlaw Reviews and at Shelf Inflicted

I was on the fence about this book. A story about teen beauty pageant contestants stranded on a desert island just doesn’t do anything for me. After reading Stephanie's review, I decided to try the audio version. At first, I thought it was ridiculous, irritating and just plain stupid. It wasn’t long before I was laughing and snorting in public places.

In the beginning, it was a little difficult to get to know the characters. The story is told
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Matthew
Jun 29, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was a ridiculously fun book! A satire/lampoon of so many things it was hard to keep track (but I tried): beauty pageants, gender roles, commercialism, marketing, government corruption, etc. etc. etc.

It was bizarre . . . It was silly . . . It was fantastic!

While geared toward the YA crowd, I think the tongue-in-cheek cynicism is something that can be appreciated by anyone who enjoys smart, sarcastic humor. Bray makes a lot of really great points through a story that could easily be dismisse
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Whitney Atkinson
Mar 02, 2015 rated it really liked it
This book was definitely very different than what I thought. I thought this was done really, really well and I couldn't dislike it because it just has so many amazing themes. I respect Libba Bray so, so much for writing this. There's so much representation and feminism and I definitely understand why it's an option for the juniors at my school to read as an independent novel. I just wish some of the boys would pick it up, too.
In the end, this was just a little too random and bizarre for me. I l
...more
Raeleen Lemay
Nov 06, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: own, lgbtqia, young-adult
That was freaking amazing. There are so many things I want to say about this book, but at the moment I'm so overwhelmed by the whole thing that I can't even think of what to say... I loved it.

Was it just me, or did the epilogue feel like the end credits to an awesome movie? I could picture the entire thing in my head, and it looked fabulous, bitches.

I JUST GOT THIS IN PAPERBACK
Sh3lly
Sep 15, 2015 rated it liked it
Recommended to Sh3lly by: Kelly (and the Book Boar)
I'm going to make a pitcher book to start this review. This book is a little bit of this:



And this:



This:



This:



With a bit of this:



And this:



thrown in.

It's basically about a group of teens on their way to a beauty pageant who get stuck on an island after their plane crashes and have to figure out a way to survive and get along with each other. There's a lot of humor in this book and a lot of messages about feminism and capitalism. It's a huge satire about beauty pageant culture, the way society looks
...more
Amanda
Meh. Just meh. Beauty Queens is not at all what I expected. What I expected was a group of beauty queens crash land on an isolated island and it's not long before the ruthlessness of the pageant morphs into a violent "survival of the fittest" mentality, a la Lord of the Flies. I would have also settled for a dark and biting satire on consumerism and pop culture. Alas, what I got was an increasingly irritating "Girl Power!" message that never quite got off the ground as it never quite rejected ev ...more
Elise (TheBookishActress)
The corporation would like to apologize for the preceding pages. Of course, it's not at all okay for girls to behave this way. Sex is not meant to be this– a consensual expression of love. No, sex is meant for selling cars. And beers. And religion.

This is one of the funniest books I've read in my life. If you're looking for an afternoon laughing at how fucked up our society is, laughing at all aspects of society and of women's beauty-queen treatment, this is the perfect book for you.

I'm not n
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Deanna
Sep 04, 2015 rated it really liked it
I read this a few years ago and usually I don't remember much about a book after that long unless it was a particularly good read. This is one of those books that stayed with me because it was just so entertaining. I forgot to update my Goodreads with it but happened across a GR friends review and remembered.

I saw somewhere that someone said it's like "Lost" meets "Clueless" and I think that that is an accurate description...although maybe I would add "Mean Girls" and "Toddlers & Tiara's" t
...more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Mar 26, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2014
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

3.5 Stars

This program is brought to you by The Corporation: Because Your Life Can Always Be Better™.


You probably know The Corporation for its awesome products



and barrier breaking television programs like “Girls Gone Rumspringa”




but this special episode brings us back to The Corporation’s roots - The Miss Team Dream Beauty Pageant!!!!

No one ever expected a plane full of Teen Dream beauty contestants would crash (don’t worry, most of t
...more
Stacia (the 2010 club)
"Pirate rock stars? Please, that's like the heroin of television."

Beauty Queens : Proving that it is possible to have too much of a good thing.

2.5 stars. I would actually watch a show with pirate rock stars.

So this is satire. Before you read this book, it is important to know that it is not meant to be taken seriously. If you find yourself hating certain characters, they were probably written that way for a reason. I generally like satire, parodies, or anything using some form of ironic wit to
...more
Stephanie *Very Stable Genius*
Mar 21, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: fiction, humor, ya, 2011
Kayso, like, after three books in a row that kinda sorta made me angry, I wanted to, like, read something totally funny and ridiculous. And I was like "Beauty Queens" a book about teen beauty queens on a plain, that like OMG, crashes on a desert island and they have to survive and stuff, wouldn't make me, like, have to think and stuff....none of that politicy stuff either....yuk.

But I was wrong. Yes this is a story about 50 beauty contestants for a pageant called Miss Teen Dream, and how the 12
...more
prag ♻
Sep 08, 2017 rated it really liked it
Recommended to prag ♻ by: Elise (TheBookishActress)
surprise!!! i read books!!! and yes all my books come from elise's 5 star shelves now because there's nobody else i trust

maymay if you're a good friend you will see this review and if you see this review you will read this book

pragya out
♛Tash
Reading Beauty Queens evoked a lot of questions on what it means to be a woman in this pageant of life. The most important of which is - am I a Sparkle Pony or a Lost Girl?

I'm definitely a Sparkle Pony.

3.5 stars, quite an enjoyable, fast-paced read, equally laced with black humor and life affirmations, from start to finish.

“Just because you're funny doesn't mean you get to be cruel.”


And Beauty Queens truly is funny, but the humor is never disparaging, even when it confronts heavy subjects such
...more
Krista Regester
Sep 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
How the HELL has this not been made into a movie.


I implore you to listen*** to this.
Meredith Holley
Apr 05, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: everyone
Recommended to Meredith by: Caris
In most ways, this book was absolutely written for me. It is LOST + Miss Congeniality + Susan Faludi’s Backlash. Sarah Palin and GW stand-ins make appearances to be generally villainous. It has lovely, lovely girls, lots of action, and some pretty hilarious jokes. Oh, and hilarious jokes in the footnotes. (Because why use endnotes, people? No need to be coy.) There is one about putting dolls on a pedestal that is my favorite joke in the book, if you want to know. The odd thing about the book is ...more
 ᴍɪᴄs ✖amante de los spoilers✖
Sigo pensando, ¿qué hay de malo en mí? Y entonces tuve una epifanía: Tal vez no soy yo la que está equivocada. Tal vez quien lo está sea esta demente nación que cree que no debemos hacer otra cosa que ir de compras, retocar nuestra imagen, y perseguir un ideal inalcanzable de romance o conformarse con algún idiota en vez de descubrirnos a nosotras mismas y vivir la vida al máximo.


Si vas a leer Beauty Queens esperando un libro de supervivencia. Definitivamente este no es tu libro porque la mane
...more
Romie
It’s a book I never thought I would read. Simply because the synopsis didn’t sound that great to me. But people kept talking about it, so I thought ‘Why not?’ and I’m glad I gave it a try.

This book follows thirteen teenage girls - pageant beauty queens - after their plane crashed on a deserted island. At least that’s what they thought.

Beauty Queens doesn’t take itself seriously. It’s probably one of the most hilarious books I’ve ever read. But it’s also one of the most important.
It’s important b
...more
Dana Kenedy (Dana and the Books)
A lot funnier than I expected. Also, such a girl power book!
Thomas
May 23, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I wish I had enough money to buy every girl attending my high school a copy of Beauty Queens. Actually, I wish I had enough money to buy every girl from the age of 15 to 21 a copy of this book. I bow down to Libba Bray for pulling off such a crazy concept - a plane of beauty pageant contestants crash on an island - when it could have gone horribly wrong in the hands of a less competent author.

On the outside, Beauty Queens is about an ensemble of shallow, teenaged girls surviving on an island. Bu
...more
Catie
May 23, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: ya, read-in-2011, humor, audio
This is the book that the other half and I decided to listen to on the combined eighteen hours round trip of driving that we endured last week. I laughed, I giggled, I chortled, I smirked. I listened quietly. I zoned out. I may or may not have fallen asleep for about twenty minutes during track three. I cringed. I looked around desperately for something to pack my ear canals with. I begged for a music break.

We just have to get through it! We can’t stop now! We’re so damn close….”

Why do we ha
...more
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What is it about writing an author bio that gives me that deer-in-headlights feeling? It's not exactly like I'm going to say "I was born in Alabama…" and somebody's going to jump up and snarl, "Oh yeah? Prove it!" At least I hope not.

I think what gets me feeling itchy is all that emphasis on the facts of a life, while all the juicy, relevant, human oddity stuff gets left on the cutting room floor.
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“Why do girls always feel like they have to apologize for giving an opinion or taking up space in the world? Have you ever noticed that?" Nicole asked. "You go on websites and some girl leaves a post and if it's longer than three sentences or she's expressing her thoughts about some topic, she usually ends with, 'Sorry for the rant' or 'That may be dumb, but that's what I think.” 456 likes
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