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How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend

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David Gershwin's summer is about to take a turn for the weird. When his dad's new patient Zelda tells him shes from outer space and on a quest to take Johnny Depp back to her planet, he knows he should run away screaming. But with one look from her mean, green eyes, David's hooked, and soon he's leaping across rooftops, running from police, and stealing cars just to stay by her side. He might not be a typical hero, but David's going to get the girl even if it takes him to the ends of the earthor beyond.

174 pages, Hardcover

First published June 8, 2011

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About the author

Gary Ghislain

19 books64 followers
Gary Ghislain was born in France to a Franco-Spanish family. He grew up between Paris and the French Riviera. After receiving a Master's Degree in literature and linguistics at the University of Paris 8, he decided to travel the world. English quickly became his everyday language, the one in which he writes and publishes his novels. He specializes in children's literature. He is the author of the critically acclaimed, multi-award-winning middle-grade series "The Goolz Next Door" (Boyds Mills Kane) and the sci-fi comedy "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" (Chronicle Books). He currently lives in Antibes on the French Riviera where he continues to develop The Goolz Next Door universe.

- Echappée Lecture Award 2020 for best children fiction
- Litterado Award 2019 for best children fiction
- Crok'livre Award 2019 for best fiction
- Talents Cultura Award 2018 for best children fiction
- Dimoitou Award 2018 for best fiction

Selected on the 2012 Tayshas reading list
Nominated by the American Library Association for the 2012 Best Fiction for Young Adult
Nominated by Teen Vogue as the 25 must-read novels of 2011

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 201 reviews
Profile Image for Victoria.
257 reviews128 followers
October 15, 2022
I have to admit I read this because I was a huge fan of Johnny vs Amber Season 1. That court case gave me life. I found this book and I knew I had to read it. Amber is not an alien. But the alien in the book is much cuter.

Will the alien find Johnny Depp?
Profile Image for Sunny.
473 reviews104 followers
February 21, 2013
Adding this to my TBR list is a moral imperative. I mean, look at that title. Just... LOOK AT IT!

Oh, Gary, Gary, Gary! I am sooooooooo not your target audience! I used to be, but - hey, I totally give you points for knowing EXACTLY who your audience is and what they want!

So, to Gary Ghislain's target audience, I say - go forth, Earthlings! Read the book of Zook. You will love the crap out of this thing. It's completely preposterous, hilarious, inappropriate, provacative, insane, fast-paced, easy-peasy, science-fictionish-without-being-overtly-nerdy, fun. It's like Dude, Where's My Car meets Adventures in Babysitting.

In fact, now that I've said that, I know what my issue is. THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER AS A MOVIE! THIS MUST BE MADE INTO A MOVIE SOMEDAY! IT WILL SELL A BAZILLION TICKETS! Think of it: Johnny Depp plays HIMSELF! Special guest star: Helena Bonham Carter as Zelda! YES!

Gary - me thinks you need to find an agent that will pitch this in Hollywood. And, when you do, I want to come to the premier with you. So I can "sample" Johnny Depp. LOL!
Profile Image for Amy Eye.
Author 12 books75 followers
March 4, 2011
Hot chicks from outer space with super speed & time bending powers - what 14 year old boy would not want to be making out with her? I mean, a real-live alien??? And she is hot, tattooed, has a killer body and wanders around in a bikini. This is not just a 14 year old boy's dream, but just about every male with a pulse has had this same fantasy. Only David doesn't just live this story in a fantasy, he gets the whole experience first hand, with YouTube video's to prove it. Zelda (our spicy alien warrior) not only has a cool name and expensive taste in stolen clothing, she has a mission. She must find her chosen one, and like three quarters of the species with XX chromosomes, Zelda wants Johnny Depp.

It's an exciting ride full of car chases, almost disintegrations, broken noses, and warrior women blowing things up. As a woman I really enjoyed this story, I'm sure any guy would be more than thrilled to get lost in Zelda's race to get to Johnny Depp before it's too late.
Profile Image for Pam Pho.
Author 13 books326 followers
May 5, 2011
I was given this book on a tour of Chronicle Books in San Francisco that I took with Lenore and several other bloggers. I was immediately drawn to the book because of it’s great hitchhiker-esque cover and fabulous title.

I began reading How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend at a theme park. I finished half of the book in the few hours at the park taking in the looks of disbelief that someone could have fun reading in a place with so much to do. I don’t do coasters people. However I think the carnival music and massive amounts of people floating around me on the super warm spring day added to the ambiance of reading this book.

How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend is everything you think it will be from the title. We have fourteen year old French David who is schooled in the ways of love and mental illness staying with his dad at his house in the countryside when Zelda shows up. Zelda is very violent and believes she is from another planet and needs to find her mate (who turns out to be Johnny Depp of course) before time runs out and her key to her home planet is lost forever.

At first David thinks she is interesting although crazy and he spends his time trying to get her to admit she is just another chick in love with Johnny Depp. As time goes on however David begins to believe Zelda’s claims and becomes her Pudin (helper sounds like Pudding) and the book takes off at a break-neck pace to the conclusion.

We meet some incredibly interesting characters along the way. David’s Mom who is the atypical French Dragon Woman stereotype who is incredibly violent to her boyfriend and David himself. David’s step sister who was thrown out of the house at sixteen by Dragon Mother. Aliens from Zelda’s planet who failed and lost their key home.

This book is fast paced, fun and a great comedic sci fi for younger readers. I can’t wait to buy a finished copy and read it all over again.
Profile Image for Hilary "Fox".
2,069 reviews60 followers
February 22, 2022
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is what it says on the tin. Exactly, really. I mean... it's all... there.

This book was released as an ARC on GoodReads back in 2011 and I couldn't resist requesting it and adding it to my to-be-read. It's the kind of ridiculous title that draws the eye, the sort of ridiculous plot that you really have to read to believe. It took me forever and a day to find a copy of it, and then a bit longer still to finally sit down to cross this book off my list.

Our protagonist, David, is the young teenaged son of a psychiatrist who works closely with the French police. When his latest patient, Zelda, is a hot twenty-something woman who believes that she is an alien David can't really help himself. He has to be around her. He has to admire her "enormous bazongas". In spite of his father's insistence that she is dangerous, David continues to fraternize with her and eventually believes that she is indeed from another planet. He wants to help her with her quest. He wants to stare at her "bazooms".

What follows is a series of ridiculous adventures through France as she wears increasingly skimpy outfits and reveals that her way of seeing if someone is a good match is french kissing them... and her way of transferring the key to pass between worlds is through "...you know..." sexual contact.

This book is what it says on the tin. It's ridiculous, and others found it much more entertaining than I did. I felt skeeved out reading it, and less than entertained. It's the definition of YMMV, pretty much, and confuses me in its classification as YA considering the amount of sex and violence in it. Yet the writing can't really classify it as anything else?

But, you know, if you find breasts being referred to as "things" funny, this book will definitely tickle you.
Profile Image for Amanda Bell.
40 reviews1 follower
December 22, 2011
"How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" is easily the most hilarious and fun book I've read all year. The author, Gary Ghislain, knows he's dealing with zany material, and he lets it ride through the whole book.

Interestingly, though, the book comes together as a great account of male adolescence and fantasy and plays upon the reader's understanding of sanity and the opposite.

The characters are quirky, and though our protagonist is a young boy, most of the central speakers in the book are tough females. David, our young narrator, is literally locked into a world full of powerful ladies, and he's happy to let them lead the way.

I have an immense appreciation for books which don't bother overdoing it in length. This book sails through the plot, and it's - much like its concept of space smashing - a fun and exhilarating ride. No time is wasted on getting to the entertainment.

I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a pleasant change of pace in their reading material.

Note: This book was won in a Goodreads FirstReads Giveaway contest.
Profile Image for Minakshi.
87 reviews
August 10, 2012
I won this book through Goodreads First Reads giveaway! The author, Gary Ghislain, sent me an autographed hard copy and sweets from France. Already promising :)

This novel is quirky, strange, sweet and very fun read. I ripped though the entire book in one sitting and actually laughed at loud at some parts early in the story. It gets a little too fantastic towards the end, but I think that's part of its charm.

The plot: David Gershwin is a 14 year boy spending his summer vacation with his famous psychiatrist father who runs a clinic/retreat for criminally insane teenagers in the French countryside. His Dad's newest patient is Zelda, a girl who showed up out of nowhere and is adamant that she is a 325 year old alien in search of Johnny Depp - her chosen one.

An excerpt from the back cover:

"It is him," she says, pointing at the screen, her eyes getting wider and greener.
"Oh, stop the act." I click on a picture where he's not dressed like Jack Sparrow, a nice black-and-white pictures from when he was younger. "Is that the guy you're looking for?"
"I must kiss him to be sure."
"Ha! Kiss him! Sure!"
Zelda is just like any other girl on earth.
She wants what they all want. She wants JOHNNY DEPP!
Profile Image for Amy Armstrong.
190 reviews37 followers
September 11, 2012
David is inexperienced with girls. When his father takes on a psychiatric patient named Zelda, meeting her is beyond out of this world. As it turns out, Zelda is from out of this world---from an Amazonian planet called Vahalal, to be exact. Why has she traveled across the galaxy to the relatively primitive planet Earth? She wants to bond with her soulmate who is none other than Johnny Depp.

Actually, she's not 100% sure Johnny is a match. She needs to "sample" men to be sure they are a match for her; her sampling method is French kissing them. Since the book is set in Paris,France, I guess that isn't so shocking.

While I don't think How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriendwill offer much insight into the universe or humanity as we know it, (except for the fact that Johnny's appeal is truly universal), it is a delightful read. I couldn't put it down and I kept poking my husband in the middle of the night to read passages aloud because they were too good to keep to myself.
Profile Image for Isis Molina.
Author 2 books52 followers
April 7, 2014
So, let's say I'm really an alien from Vahalal. And my mission is to find Johnny Depp because he is my "chosen one" and so I stalk him and plan to abduct him and keep him locked in a tower. If that's the case, can I "sample him" too? Am I allowed to French kiss him in Paris? Because if he's down for that, then call me Zelda!
Profile Image for Raina.
1,604 reviews128 followers
August 3, 2017
I'm still not entirely convinced this isn't translated. It's set in France, the author seems to have lived his entire life in France, and the feel here is distinctly foreign. In, I guess I should say, the best way possible.

At the opening of this book we meet David. David is the son of an (in)famous and powerful psychologist. David's father is Such a powerful psychologist in France that he is able to keep patients at his house. Which is how David ends up meeting Zelda, an apparently deranged patient who's been giving the cops trouble. Zelda claims to be from another planet.

Not that I didn't enjoy it. This reminded me a lot of Daniel Ehrenhaft's Drawing a Blank: Or How I Tried to Solve a Mystery End a Feud and Land the Girl of My Dreams, but with a European (read: French), high art, less-kookily edgy edge. I swear, like, half the reason I read this was that Jillian Tamaki did the illustrations, and the cover's pretty much it on that front (ok, Tamaki + the killer title).

This is a heightened universe. All of the secondary characters are wacky, and mostly obnoxious (as they're supposed to be). David himself is not particularly memorable, standing in as the traditional everyteenageboy.

So yeah, I liked it. I'm not head-over-heels, but I'd go there. At least once.
Profile Image for Cynthia Varady.
Author 1 book13 followers
February 9, 2015
To read the full duel visit DuelingLibrarians.net

Gary Ghislain's novel How I stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is an high adventure coming of age story with fourteen year old David Gershwin and the mysterious Zelda at its center. Living outside Paris with his mild-mannered psychiatrist father, David becomes enthralled with his father's latest patient, the widely beautiful and extremely dangerous Zelda. With waves of blond hair, mean green eyes, and delusions of alien origins, David never stood a chance against Zelda's wiles.

Finding himself trapped between his overbearing mother and subdued father, David makes the brash decision to help Zelda, crazy or not, find her “chosen one” so she can transport him back to Vahalal, the planet she claims to be from.

Unlike most coming of age novels I've had the pleasure of reading, this one is refreshingly from the point of view of a male character. I loved reading about David's feelings for Zelda. How he was confused by them and excited by her strangeness. Usually we read stories about girls infatuated with bad boys. How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend takes this trope and reverses it, giving us a new twist on an old story. Plus we also get a mystery; is Zelda a mentally ill girl with delusions caused by past traumas, or an alien from a distant planet populated with Amazonian-like women?

Ghislain creates a wonderful cast of characters. David begins his journey as the child who wishes to keep his at odds parents happy at all costs, and by the end, we see him transformed into a confident young man. David's almost step-sister Malou is someone I have not only known, but driven with, and lived to tell the tale about. And of course, Zelda who is a mystery unto herself. She is strong, capable, violent, and sexy. I can see tweens and teens of all genders enjoying this book.

How I stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is a fun, action packed coming of age story I found completely enjoyable. I liked the action, the romance, the mystery, the characters, and the treck through the streets of Paris. A little on the violent side at points, I would recommend reading it with younger tweens, but other than that caveat, I say, read away.
Profile Image for Jackie.
4,149 reviews46 followers
February 19, 2011
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is one of the most outrageous, laugh-out-loud books I've read in a long, LONG time. Think Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets The True Meaning of Smekday...two of my very favorite books, by the way. When David's father, a famous therapist, is 'fixing' Zelda, all sorts of mayhem and mischief starts. Zelda is a wacky, one-track-minded, brutish woman, who is on Earth (from her planet Vahalal) to find her 'chosen one' and mate. Of course, there are no men on Vahalal, since they are dumb, worthless, smelly, and crude. Clearly, Zelda thinks, as does all of Vahalal, that men are only good for one thing.

When Zelda is on a murderous trek to find Johnny Depp (Zelda's chosen one) and transfer her green key tattoo to him (in order to re-enter Vahalal), David is smitten and enlists help from his step-sister, Malou. Together, the three of them, escape authority figures, encounter some maverick Vahalalian rebels called Valks, and generally cause an uproar throughout France with side-splitting humorous escapades that will have the reader wondering just how far these alien women will go.

This is one of the best books I've read this year! Kudos to Gary Ghislain, on his debut YA novel. I hope, hope, hope he is planning to write more.

Thank you to LibraryThing Early Reviewers, Gary Ghislain, Chronicle Books and Lara Starr for this highly engaging, quirky, and outrageously readable book.
Profile Image for Galateea.
94 reviews89 followers
December 13, 2016
O.o i can't even... Just.. look at the title. Look at it. Have you looked? Yep i had to look several times and then read the book to convince myself that i do not need new glasses. Yes.Completely. Yes. I am speechless. Yes, i am. I am going for a drink now.
December 31, 2014
I received this book as a gift because everyone knows I love Johnny Depp. This book was a funny, silly, entertaining quick read.
Profile Image for Lisa.
88 reviews26 followers
January 25, 2015
Kinda reminded me of E.T.

I just love Johnny Depp

Oh, and i liked the name Malou, and then when I learned it was a nickname, it was even more awesome!!
Profile Image for Chiara.
175 reviews13 followers
May 14, 2015
This book was a very fun and easy read with female characters I really enjoyed and a male protagonist who was funny at moments but annoyed me a lot.
50 reviews
May 1, 2011
Actually, I 'd give it a 3 1/2. Very, very funny with great characters and a wild plot.
Profile Image for Amie.
1,068 reviews28 followers
March 26, 2021
Actually read this all in one sitting, it’s very easy to read, a silly little book about a teenage boy who meets a girl from outer space who is looking for her one true match in the universe, a.k.a. Johnny Depp. It’s a funny little tale.
Profile Image for Rabiah.
488 reviews218 followers
June 5, 2011
Originally Posted at: http://iliveforreading.blogspot.com/2...

**This Review is based on an ARC (Advanced Reader's Copy). The final text/cover may be different.**

I can say with all honesty, it was the title that grabbed my interest.
I mean, with a really bizarre and eye catching title as "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" it's bound to get attention! (You know, besides the point that Johnny Depp's name is in the title...anyone seen Pirates 4? Wanna go badly!) Mr. Ghislain was so amazing as to sending another copy in the mail, as the first one got lost. I'm glad I got a copy though– this book is seriously the FUNNIEST one I've read in a long time.

All the characters were amazing contributers to the story. David is one hilarious 14-year old, and it's really sweet how he goes the whole length of helping Zelda find Johnny Depp. I mean seriously, which guy wouldn't want to be with a alien from outer space, who sings like a whale and has a whole bunch of tattoos? Yeah, that's what I thought you'd say.
Zelda's really peculiar, and really adds the hilarity to this story. Her ways are...really strange (as you'll find out in this book) and you can't help liking her! and the fact she, like more than half of the female population, wants Johnny Depp?? priceless! Malou was also a great addition to the plot and really added the sarcasm and sparkiness to it. Can't really imagine what the book would be like without her!

Of course, with every amazing book comes the baddies. There's, of course, David's super-control-and-clean-freak-who's-very-rich mom, and the police and authorities who are trying to capture Zelda and David for helping her escape. But then, there's more "out-worldly" powers going against them. In come the Vahalalian Rebels, the Valks! One terrifying group of chicks, I'll have to say. The results at the end, are quite different as expected, but it just makes this book even more love-able with the twists and surprises!

How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is a mouthful to say, but one heck of a story. You'll be knee-slapping, jaw-dropping, and singing to your belly button (long story) the whole way through the novel. Gary Ghislain has written a fantastic debut which is fast, extremely amusing, and action-packed that'll keep you on your toes! This book will truly bring out the strange alien in you.

**Thank you so much to Gary Ghislain for sending me How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend for Review!**
Profile Image for Gmr.
1,204 reviews
July 5, 2011
A short and unusual read....oh come on...you had to guess that last part was coming from the title at the very least....you may be surprised to know that I wasn't entirely sold on the idea from the start. That's right. When it arrived on my doorstep, all I could think was, what in the world??? In keeping with the tone of honestly, the way the story jumped back and forth from brief scene to new character introduction and back again over the course of a single page....I was having a bit of trouble connecting the dots (or finding a reason to care about the characters and their fate)....not to mention the whole mission was a bit absurd. I mean really, her match was suppose to be the Johnny Depp. Yeah...I'm sure there's a gazillion other Earthlings that would claim the same thing right now if given the choice.

It wasn't until about halfway through the book (which thankfully wasn't too many actual pages number wise) that Pudin' (aka David, aka the new willing slave of space girl) and Zelda (same said space girl) are making their way closer to their target that things really started to come together. We get more of a background on Zelda, who she is, her people's history, the de-le-o on her choice of Barbarzilla wardrobe...as well as the "key" that needs to be transferred to her match before it's too late (too late as in it will no longer work to open the portal to her world). David's family life becomes clearer as does the appearance of his backbone (well, at times at least). The scenes are more connected though still kept light enough to move this short story along fluidly, building towards an ending you don't really expect but whose arrival works perfectly to fulfill your renewed interest in the storyline.

All in all, I don't regret the read....it was short, it was interesting, it was out of this world...so to speak. Recommended read for older children and beyond as there are some references to body parts and acts that the youngest audience may not be quite ready for, though they are still on the tame side. Both male and female readers will have something to cheer for in this book and with its quirkiness, it may even draw in those relunctant readers still looking for something to hook their interest. So Space Splash your way to a bookstore near you and see just how our Vahalalian counterparts approach the Earthly concept of finding "the one". You may be surprised at their methods, appalled by their intents, but you can't argue with the efficiency.
Profile Image for Sherri.
1,913 reviews35 followers
August 15, 2012
Summary: Fourteen-year-old David is used to the troubled teenagers who spend brief periods of time getting fixed by his celebrity therapist father. Then one day, David sees Zelda, a 15 to 16-year-old girl who quickly captures his interest and, perhaps, his heart. It’s almost like one of David’s Marvel comics’ superheroes has come to life.

Zelda claims to be 325 years old and from the planet Vahalal. She’s also a Valk—a fearless warrior, holy servant of Zook (their God) and a Traveler who is on a quest to find her ‘chosen one’ who is currently somewhere on Earth and take him back to Vahalal. She will know him by “sampling” his genetic code which is done by French kissing. When Zelda shows David a picture of her future boyfriend, he’s shocked to recognize him…Johnny Depp. Zelda only has a few days to find Depp or she will be trapped on Earth forever.

Zelda not only has mental issues, she’s also physically dangerous. Zelda is one of the most challenging, violent and troubled patients his dad has ever tried to fix. In the two days she’s been at their farmhouse outside Normandy, France she has managed to escape two times and wreck bloody havoc on anyone in her way.

When David unknowingly helps Zelda escape his dad’s farmhouse for the third time, he ends up embarking on a zany, humorous adventure. David ends up serving as Zelda’s Pudin (slave), learning what it means to Space Splash (able to be at two points in space at the same time) and Space Flop (fatigue caused by traveling a very long distance in space). The plan to find Depp is thwarted by Valk exiles (war criminals and mass murderers) who create a perilous path of destruction.

What if David’s space girl Zelda really is from outer space? Could David really have a chance at love with this crazy, beautiful, violent alien? You’ll have to read this short novel to find out!

��� Teaser:David’s best friend Olivier can’t believe David’s good luck, saying, “I mean, she’s in your home. Locked. Handcuffed. Looking for a boyfriend…Do it!...Jump on her. Try to make out with her. She’s, like, open territory, buddy” (9).
“Zelda is just like any other girl on Earth. She wants what they all want. She wants JOHNNY DEPP!” (40).

Why I Liked It:This book is laugh out loud funny! David’s narration is interesting and incredibly original.

Some things aren't quite believable, but it's so quirky that it works for the most part.
Profile Image for Brandi.
189 reviews18 followers
October 19, 2011
David’s dad has brought troubled teens to their house in the past. Having a psychologist for a father has opened David’s eyes to a variety of bizarre characters, but none of them have ever come close to Zelda. Not only does Zelda think she’s on a mission from outer space, she is freakishly strong. Having escaped twice, Zelda’s attempts left more than one grown man in need of serious medical care. David’s dad is concerned about Zelda’s dangerous outbursts and he bans David from any contact with her. Tell a teen boy to stay away from a beautiful possible alien? Talk about an impossible feat!

David disobeys his dad’s wishes and visits Zelda and, after watching her repeatedly use psychophysics to throw marbles at impossible targets, learns what Zelda believes is true. Zelda is from a planet called Vahalal, which is comprised primarily of women except for the men locked away in the tower. Zelda has been sent to Paris to find her chosen boyfriend using only his genetic code as an indication to his identity. After viewing a crude construct of Zelda’s future boyfriend does David learn that her chosen one is none other than the mega superstar, Johnny Depp. Zelda has a little less than five days to track down Johnny Depp and take him back to Vahalal or Zelda is trapped on Earth forever as only Johnny Depp can activate the key back home.

With the help of David’s chic stepsister, Malou, Zelda begins her mission to track down Johnny Depp. Obstacles threaten to halt Zelda’s progress including the deadly Eol-69 virus which can only be cured with Vahalalan songs, encounters with David’s trend-driven mother, and a group of rogue women from Vahalal known as Valks who want to steal Zelda’s key and go back home themselves.

Ghislain’s story is outrageous and hysterical. While space stories can be rare in recent Teen literature, humorous space stories are even more so. Ghislain pushes the limits in creating his story, making sure that the reader is prepared for the goofy and the unexpected. The description might indicate that the story is a one-dimensional, shallow tale, but Ghislain includes subtle references to Norse mythology, for instance the Valks can be compared to the Valkyries. How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend is a little-known comedic gem that you will want to tell your friends about when you are finished.
Profile Image for David.
71 reviews12 followers
July 23, 2011
So, I'm not a teen, nor have I been for quite some time, but I found How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend to be engaging and rewarding -- for a book of its genre.

David Gershwin is a typically hormonal teen boy, with an undeveloped physique and somewhat poltroon nature, spending an unremarkable summer with his father, a renowned psychologist, in rural France. David's father takes on a new, very violent, patient, Zelda, in his ward, who recounts a remarkable story: she is from another planet, and has landed on Earth in order to find her "chosen one," who so happens to be Johnny Depp. David immediately becomes smitten with Zelda and, not surprisingly, is the only person who believes her story. David is so taken with Zelda, in fact, that he enlists to become her personal assistant, and embarks on an epic quest to help her find Mr. Depp. Zelda, however, is being kept prisoner in David's father's compound, so the first order of business: escape.

Once free, enemies from both Earth and Zelda's world, Vahalal, interfere, and are steadfast in thwarting Zelda's plans. But Zelda has a limited amount of time to find Johnny before her chances of returning home with him fade, so she cannot afford to be captured. Will she make it in time?? Will David, as the title suggests, steal Zelda away from Johnny?? [Cue dramatic music]

Readers young and old will find enjoyment in this pithy book, and Gary Ghislain should be proud of his debut effort. The story moves quickly, the characters are well-defined, and though there are some plot devices and cliches, you will find yourself immersed in this adventure, hoping good will prevail over evil. I look forward to seeing what Mr. Ghislain produces next, as it is evident he has a vast imagination and a wry sense of humor.
Profile Image for Melody Costa.
171 reviews1 follower
November 5, 2011
There are people who think it's disturbing that Bella fell in love with Edward with a 70 year age gap between them. What will people say when they read "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" when they find out that David is 14 and falling in love with Zelda, who claims to be a 325 alien?
On the surface this a teenage boy's fantasy. David Gershwin has practically fallen in the laps of a race of hot, bikini clad, blood thirsty alien teenage girls. First he is introduced to Zelda, a girl who looks to be about 15 but claims to be a 325 year old Vahalalian. She is in the custody of his father, a therapist for disturbed teenagers. She says she is on a quest to find her "chosen one" who ends up being, surprise!, Johnny Depp. David is pressed into being her "Pudin", or slave, and is bent on helping her find Johnny even though he's sure that she's just crazy. As time goes on David starts to actually believe her and gets the help of his step-sister, Malou, to find the actor. In the midst of Earthling displays of affection (EDA), Space Splashing and Space Flop, David faces his own fears and helps Zelda discover that even Vahalalians can have emotions.
I really liked how this teen read isn't all silly science fiction. David has a mother preoccupied with her material possessions, such as her clothes, jewelry, and car, who hits him so hard his nose bleeds while she's in a drug induced state. And he has a father preoccupied with being the open minded psychiatrist for everyone while avoiding being a father.
This was a fun read and a great recommendation for boys or girls. I've got to say that I truly enjoyed it!
Profile Image for Jennifer Wardrip.
Author 5 books488 followers
November 10, 2012
Reviewed by Lauren Ashley for TeensReadToo.com

David's dad often has patients in their home, in order to help them with their mental issues. However, there has never been anyone quite like Zelda.

She swears she is from another planet and has come to Earth to find her one true love. David instantly falls for her, captivated by her wild nature and even wilder stories (or so he believes). Soon, Zelda is on the run and David finds himself dragged along to keep her safe and in his sights. Because Zelda is after one man - Johnny Depp.

The premise of this story is really fun and the overall book is a quick read, filled with the police and chases and creepy alien women. The idea that Zelda would go after Johnny Depp sounds simple enough for us human women, but Zelda didn't actually know her "one true love" was a famous movie star.

One of the things that makes this book interesting is the setting. It takes place in Paris, which makes sense as that is where Johnny lives. I like that there is a YA book out there for the U.S. market that isn't set in the United States. You often get other countries when the tale is historical, but this is nothing but a contemporary...with elements of sci-fi, of course.

Unless Zelda is faking. Is she? Why is David so captivated by her then?

HOW I STOLE JOHNNY DEPP'S ALIEN GIRLFRIEND was a fun and fast read, and I can see a lot of boys AND girls enjoying this.
Profile Image for Christina Getrost.
2,175 reviews67 followers
April 26, 2011
A hilarious, guy-friendly caper/romance/science fiction humor story. Set in France, where 14 year old David lives with his divorced therapist father. Dad specializes in treating difficult and mentally challenged teenagers, and his latest client, brought in by police when they found her homeless and stealing food, is a feisty girl who insists that she is not from planet Earth! David is immediately attracted to her, even as he is afraid of her violent tendencies and doesn't believe her wild story that she needs to bring her "chosen one"-- Johnny Depp!-- back with her to her women-only planet Vahalal. But then she manages to escape her captivity in a very unearthly way, and despite himself David impulsively decides to help her in her quest, foolish as he thinks it may be. This book is a very goofy, lighthearted, silly, yet very readable adventure story. The alien technology and characteristics that Zelda tells David about are pretty imaginative--from "Space Flop" (jet lag from "Space Splashing" between planets) to the galactic germs she inadvertently infects him with, to the tattooed "key" that holds special meaning for interstellar travel. I think this book is aimed squarely at middle school boys, who will love the madcap chases, sci-fi goofiness, the stuff blowing up, and living every nerd boy's fantasy of winning the hot chick who can knock down bad guys with her martial arts skills.
Profile Image for melissa.
180 reviews36 followers
May 17, 2011
This book was one of those books, that when you put down at the end, you think, that was a fun ride. When it started out as a story about a French boy who has a crush on a girl that is crazy (she thinks she is an alien), it really didn’t grab me. But. It was an interesting plot. Was she, or wasn’t she crazy? And the clues that lead you back and forth on the journey, until a decision is made, are believable. The setting was in different parts of France. It was interesting to hear the author throw in the details of location, but honestly, I felt this could have taken place anywhere. David was an average guy. Which probably made him the least interesting, but we needed him to be the sanity in the middle of all the chaos. Because I think I feel he also went through the most growth. I think the girl Zelda, was a bit one dimensional, but amusing, none the less, with her wacky rituals like singing to her bellybutton and walking around in bizarre outfits. Malou (David’s sister) was a nice addition to the book, and served almost as the middle guy, between the other two, but also manipulating circumstances to her favor. The ending was quite exciting, and I found that it gave payoff to the rest of the story. But. The wrap-up, was a little lukewarm to me and vague. I don’t think it was logical, for all the characters. With that said, I look forward to reading more by this author.
Profile Image for Peggy Tibbetts.
Author 7 books8 followers
April 10, 2012
Fourteen-year old David Gershwin’s dad is a famous Paris thearapist who specializes in troubled teens. When he brings Zelda to their country home in Cornouille, she turns their lives upside down. Zelda claims she is 325-years old and from Vahalal, a planet of women who worship Zook. Her purpose on Earth is to find and capture Johnny Depp, her chosen one. No one believes her, including David at first. He is captivated, though certainly not by her charm. Zelda is a walking disaster. When she escapes, David’s dad sends him away to live with his mother, a barracuda divorce lawyer who bears some eerie similarities to the Zelda creature. But Zelda is hiding in the trunk of her car. Instead of turning her in to the authorities, David decides to aid her on her quest to find Johnny Depp. From then on his life will never be the same.

“How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend” is sort of like “Splash” meets “Species”. Only the boy teen doesn’t tangle with a mermaid, he gets mixed up with a dangerous alien. While the plot is predictable, David’s character is hilarious and Zelda is over-the-top outrageous. And of course their quest to find Johnny Depp goes completely awry, which makes for non-stop, page-turning entertainment. Yes, middle school and teen boys will enjoy this book, but so will anyone else who reads it.
Profile Image for Christine.
32 reviews
October 31, 2011
Boy meets girl with the added complication of her possibly actually being an alien or maybe just suffering from a mental disorder. Add to this a lot of action, police chases, and general mayhem and distruction and you have "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend."

I read this book for a book discussion group of teachers, librarians, and other people who generalyy like books for children and teens. I thought it was very funny and enjoyed reading it. However, when discussing the book with the group, it came out that some people felt hesitant about recommendeding the book--or even buying the book really. Throughout the book, there are incidents of teen behaving badly. The most offensive of these is a scene in which perhaps the most irresponsible teenager in the world comments that she drives better drunk as she flies down the highway with a bottle of white wine in her hand. Some felt that this was too much--especially since there appear to be no real consequences to her actions. Out of context I would have to agree, but when taken as just one part of her many less-than-stellar choices throughout the story, I think her actions serve more for to have readers realize no good come come of any of them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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