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How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend
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How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend

3.44  ·  Rating details ·  600 ratings  ·  198 reviews
David Gershwin's summer is about to take a turn for the weird. When his dad's new patient Zelda tells him shes from outer space and on a quest to take Johnny Depp back to her planet, he knows he should run away screaming. But with one look from her mean, green eyes, David's hooked, and soon he's leaping across rooftops, running from police, and stealing cars just to stay b ...more
Hardcover, 174 pages
Published June 8th 2011 by Chronicle Books
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Average rating 3.44  · 
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Dec 05, 2012 rated it liked it
Adding this to my TBR list is a moral imperative. I mean, look at that title. Just... LOOK AT IT!

Oh, Gary, Gary, Gary! I am sooooooooo not your target audience! I used to be, but - hey, I totally give you points for knowing EXACTLY who your audience is and what they want!

So, to Gary Ghislain's target audience, I say - go forth, Earthlings! Read the book of Zook. You will love the crap out of this thing. It's completely preposterous, hilarious, inappropriate, provacative, in
Amy Eye
Mar 03, 2011 rated it liked it
Hot chicks from outer space with super speed & time bending powers - what 14 year old boy would not want to be making out with her? I mean, a real-live alien??? And she is hot, tattooed, has a killer body and wanders around in a bikini. This is not just a 14 year old boy's dream, but just about every male with a pulse has had this same fantasy. Only David doesn't just live this story in a fantasy, he gets the whole experience first hand, with YouTube video's to prove it. Zelda (our spicy alien w ...more
Pam Pho
Feb 02, 2011 rated it really liked it
I was given this book on a tour of Chronicle Books in San Francisco that I took with Lenore and several other bloggers. I was immediately drawn to the book because of it’s great hitchhiker-esque cover and fabulous title.

I began reading How I Stole Johnny Depp’s Alien Girlfriend at a theme park. I finished half of the book in the few hours at the park taking in the looks of disbelief that someone could have fun reading in a place with so much to do. I don’t do coasters people. However I think the
Amanda Bell
Sep 22, 2011 rated it it was amazing
"How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" is easily the most hilarious and fun book I've read all year. The author, Gary Ghislain, knows he's dealing with zany material, and he lets it ride through the whole book.

Interestingly, though, the book comes together as a great account of male adolescence and fantasy and plays upon the reader's understanding of sanity and the opposite.

The characters are quirky, and though our protagonist is a young boy, most of the central speakers in the book are to
Aug 09, 2012 rated it really liked it
I won this book through Goodreads First Reads giveaway! The author, Gary Ghislain, sent me an autographed hard copy and sweets from France. Already promising :)

This novel is quirky, strange, sweet and very fun read. I ripped though the entire book in one sitting and actually laughed at loud at some parts early in the story. It gets a little too fantastic towards the end, but I think that's part of its charm.

The plot: David Gershwin is a 14 year boy spending his summer vacation with his famous p
Amy Armstrong
Sep 11, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: humor
David is inexperienced with girls. When his father takes on a psychiatric patient named Zelda, meeting her is beyond out of this world. As it turns out, Zelda is from out of this world---from an Amazonian planet called Vahalal, to be exact. Why has she traveled across the galaxy to the relatively primitive planet Earth? She wants to bond with her soulmate who is none other than Johnny Depp.

Actually, she's not 100% sure Johnny is a match. She needs to "sample" men to be sure they are a match for
May 13, 2011 rated it liked it
I'm still not entirely convinced this isn't translated. It's set in France, the author seems to have lived his entire life in France, and the feel here is distinctly foreign. In, I guess I should say, the best way possible.

At the opening of this book we meet David. David is the son of an (in)famous and powerful psychologist. David's father is Such a powerful psychologist in France that he is able to keep patients at his house. Which is how David ends up meeting Zelda, an apparently deranged pati
Cynthia Varady
Apr 15, 2014 rated it really liked it
To read the full duel visit

Gary Ghislain's novel How I stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is an high adventure coming of age story with fourteen year old David Gershwin and the mysterious Zelda at its center. Living outside Paris with his mild-mannered psychiatrist father, David becomes enthralled with his father's latest patient, the widely beautiful and extremely dangerous Zelda. With waves of blond hair, mean green eyes, and delusions of alien origins, David never stoo
Toni (U.A.C.)
Setting: Current Day France. David's dad is a well known psychiatrist; his mother is a highly regarded divorce lawyer. Story starts off with David at his dad's place in the country where he meets Zelda, who is being treated by David's father and tells David that she's an alien who's travelled to earth to find and bring back her soul mate. At an age (14) where he’s realizing how awesome and terrifying girls can be, David is spellbound by this pretty, enigmatic, and slightly violent tempered girl ...more
How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend is one of the most outrageous, laugh-out-loud books I've read in a long, LONG time. Think Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets The True Meaning of Smekday...two of my very favorite books, by the way. When David's father, a famous therapist, is 'fixing' Zelda, all sorts of mayhem and mischief starts. Zelda is a wacky, one-track-minded, brutish woman, who is on Earth (from her planet Vahalal) to find her 'chosen one' and mate. Of course, there are no me ...more
Apr 05, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: owned-ebooks, 2014
So, let's say I'm really an alien from Vahalal. And my mission is to find Johnny Depp because he is my "chosen one" and so I stalk him and plan to abduct him and keep him locked in a tower. If that's the case, can I "sample him" too? Am I allowed to French kiss him in Paris? Because if he's down for that, then call me Zelda! ...more
May 22, 2013 rated it it was amazing
O.o i can't even... Just.. look at the title. Look at it. Have you looked? Yep i had to look several times and then read the book to convince myself that i do not need new glasses. Yes.Completely. Yes. I am speechless. Yes, i am. I am going for a drink now. ...more
Erika Hernandez
Dec 30, 2014 rated it really liked it
I received this book as a gift because everyone knows I love Johnny Depp. This book was a funny, silly, entertaining quick read.
Jan 17, 2015 rated it it was ok
Kinda reminded me of E.T.

I just love Johnny Depp

Oh, and i liked the name Malou, and then when I learned it was a nickname, it was even more awesome!!
May 11, 2015 rated it liked it
This book was a very fun and easy read with female characters I really enjoyed and a male protagonist who was funny at moments but annoyed me a lot.
May 01, 2011 rated it liked it
Actually, I 'd give it a 3 1/2. Very, very funny with great characters and a wild plot. ...more
Apr 07, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: own, arc, signed
Originally Posted at:

**This Review is based on an ARC (Advanced Reader's Copy). The final text/cover may be different.**

I can say with all honesty, it was the title that grabbed my interest.
I mean, with a really bizarre and eye catching title as "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" it's bound to get attention! (You know, besides the point that Johnny Depp's name is in the title...anyone seen Pirates 4? Wanna go badly!) Mr. Ghislain was so amazing
Jun 08, 2011 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: all ages, boy readers may especially like
Recommended to Gmr by: Chronicle Books
A short and unusual read....oh come had to guess that last part was coming from the title at the very may be surprised to know that I wasn't entirely sold on the idea from the start. That's right. When it arrived on my doorstep, all I could think was, what in the world??? In keeping with the tone of honestly, the way the story jumped back and forth from brief scene to new character introduction and back again over the course of a single page....I was having a bit of trouble ...more
Aug 13, 2012 rated it liked it
Summary: Fourteen-year-old David is used to the troubled teenagers who spend brief periods of time getting fixed by his celebrity therapist father. Then one day, David sees Zelda, a 15 to 16-year-old girl who quickly captures his interest and, perhaps, his heart. It’s almost like one of David’s Marvel comics’ superheroes has come to life.

Zelda claims to be 325 years old and from the planet Vahalal. She’s also a Valk—a fearless warrior, holy servant of Zook (their God) and a Traveler who is on
Oct 05, 2011 rated it really liked it
David’s dad has brought troubled teens to their house in the past. Having a psychologist for a father has opened David’s eyes to a variety of bizarre characters, but none of them have ever come close to Zelda. Not only does Zelda think she’s on a mission from outer space, she is freakishly strong. Having escaped twice, Zelda’s attempts left more than one grown man in need of serious medical care. David’s dad is concerned about Zelda’s dangerous outbursts and he bans David from any contact with h ...more
Jul 23, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: humor, fiction, teen, sci-fi
So, I'm not a teen, nor have I been for quite some time, but I found How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend to be engaging and rewarding -- for a book of its genre.

David Gershwin is a typically hormonal teen boy, with an undeveloped physique and somewhat poltroon nature, spending an unremarkable summer with his father, a renowned psychologist, in rural France. David's father takes on a new, very violent, patient, Zelda, in his ward, who recounts a remarkable story: she is from another planet
Melody Costa
Nov 03, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: teen
There are people who think it's disturbing that Bella fell in love with Edward with a 70 year age gap between them. What will people say when they read "How I Stole Johnny Depp's Alien Girlfriend" when they find out that David is 14 and falling in love with Zelda, who claims to be a 325 alien?
On the surface this a teenage boy's fantasy. David Gershwin has practically fallen in the laps of a race of hot, bikini clad, blood thirsty alien teenage girls. First he is introduced to Zelda, a girl who l
Jennifer Wardrip
Reviewed by Lauren Ashley for

David's dad often has patients in their home, in order to help them with their mental issues. However, there has never been anyone quite like Zelda.

She swears she is from another planet and has come to Earth to find her one true love. David instantly falls for her, captivated by her wild nature and even wilder stories (or so he believes). Soon, Zelda is on the run and David finds himself dragged along to keep her safe and in his sights. Because Zelda
Christina Getrost
Mar 16, 2011 rated it really liked it
A hilarious, guy-friendly caper/romance/science fiction humor story. Set in France, where 14 year old David lives with his divorced therapist father. Dad specializes in treating difficult and mentally challenged teenagers, and his latest client, brought in by police when they found her homeless and stealing food, is a feisty girl who insists that she is not from planet Earth! David is immediately attracted to her, even as he is afraid of her violent tendencies and doesn't believe her wild story ...more
Apr 01, 2011 rated it really liked it
This book was one of those books, that when you put down at the end, you think, that was a fun ride. When it started out as a story about a French boy who has a crush on a girl that is crazy (she thinks she is an alien), it really didn’t grab me. But. It was an interesting plot. Was she, or wasn’t she crazy? And the clues that lead you back and forth on the journey, until a decision is made, are believable. The setting was in different parts of France. It was interesting to hear the author throw ...more
Peggy Tibbetts
Apr 09, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Fourteen-year old David Gershwin’s dad is a famous Paris thearapist who specializes in troubled teens. When he brings Zelda to their country home in Cornouille, she turns their lives upside down. Zelda claims she is 325-years old and from Vahalal, a planet of women who worship Zook. Her purpose on Earth is to find and capture Johnny Depp, her chosen one. No one believes her, including David at first. He is captivated, though certainly not by her charm. Zelda is a walking disaster. When she escap ...more
Oct 31, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: ya
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
May 03, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: ya, sci-fi
Thanks to his father's career as a therapist David Gershwin is used to experiencing people who make odd claims. Until he sees Zelda in his father's office he's never really taken much interest in these patients. Sure Zelda claims to be from Vahalal, to be three hundred and twenty five years old, and is a bit mean to David -- but hey she's cute and scares the heck out of grown men, what more could a fourteen year old boy want in a girl? Maybe to not have her searching for her chosen one (Johnny D ...more
This book was way too cute. I wish I had read it sooner.

At Comic Con 2012, I saw this book, the title grabbing my attention. It sat on my shelf, because I read Talulah Rising by Glen Duncan, another CC find. Then there was Lost at Sea by Brian Lee O'Malley...

Needless to say this book got buried on my shelf.

This morning, I came across it, and decided to go ahead and read it. Well, what started off as odd and funny, ended so adorably. The main character, David, is so straight laced... He meets a
May 28, 2011 rated it really liked it
When 14 year old David Gerdhwin first encounters Zelda, she is handcuffed in his father's office, ranting about her need to escape and transfer the key to Vahalal to her chosen companion. After a few violent escapes by Zelda, David's father decides to send him back to Paris to stay with his mother, with an unannounced stowaway in the luggage. When Zelda demonstrates some superhuman talents during a mad dash around Paris, David starts to believe her story, even as he falls in love with her. Despi ...more
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Gary Ghislain was born in France to a Franco-Spanish family. He grew up between Paris and the French Riviera. After receiving a Master Degree in literature and linguistics at the University of Paris 8, he decided to travel the world. English quickly became his everyday language, the one in which he writes and publishes his novels. He specializes in children's literature. He is the author of the cr ...more

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“Let me just say it out loud so we can laugh together: You're going to find Johnny Depp, take him back to Vahalal, and put him in a zoo?” 8 likes
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