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Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out The Best in People at Their Worst
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Dealing with People You Can't Stand: How to Bring Out The Best in People at Their Worst

3.64  ·  Rating details ·  1,060 Ratings  ·  132 Reviews
With their 1994 international bestseller, Drs. Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner armed a civility-starved world with no-nonsense strategies for dealing with difficult people with tact and skill. Since then, the world has changed dramatically: technology designed to bring people closer together has only made it that much harder to avoid "people you can't stand."

At best, such
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Published January 4th 2011 by Macmillan Audio (first published 1994)
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May 16, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is a Manager Tools recommendation.

The concept of this book is pretty simple and straightforward: choose a person you can't stand, identify which of the 10 personality types mentioned in the book they most closely match, and follow the specific recommendations to immunize yourself against further annoyance. The 10 types listed in the book are:

1. The Tank
2. The Sniper
3. The Grenade
4. The Know-It-All
5. The Think-They-Know-It-All
6. The Yes Person
7. The Maybe Person
8. The Nothing Person
This book might tend to solidify perceptions of people and thereby keep people in boxes. However, I found some of the communication tips to be helpful. We must be careful, though, I think, to not get stuck in perceiving someone as a tank or a sniper or other type. People change. Some mental constructs make it hard to change with them.
Sydney O (Сидней О)
This book solved two problems; the first was to help me understand those around me, and the second was for me to identify the behavior in my life that injures social interactions. (It solved both).
Overall, it was a good book. The advice was well-given, and the examples used throughout were real-life. (Although almost all of them were aimed at work relationships, alter the scenarios slightly, and you can fit in a family member, friend, or significant other).
It was helpful to see the ten types all
Huda AbuKhoti
أتعلم أيها الكاتب ما لا أحتمله حقًّا؟؟ تصنيف الناس إلى مجموعات و التعامل معهم بأسلوب ميكانيكي كالذي تنصح به في الكتاب. البشر كائنات معقدة و تتحكم بتصرفاتهم الكثير من العوامل و الأسباب التي من المستحيل أن تختزلها في كلمة واحدة... لذلك لا أجدني أنجذب لكتب الـ
فهي في أغلب الأحيان تقوم بعملية الفرز هذه التي أبغضها للغاية
Areej M.
Dec 20, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
كتاب مهم ... تدور فكرته على التالي:
حتى تستطيع ان تتعامل مع اؤلئك الذين لا تتطيق التعامل معهم لأنهم (أشخاص لا يطاقون) عليك أن تعرف المصدر الذي يحولهم الى (أشخاص لا يطاقون) ...
التعامل معهم بناءً على هذه المعلومة الإضافية يسهل مهمة تجاوز الصراع معهم ...الـ(أشخاص لا يطاقون)حسب الكتاب اما يسعون لانجاز المهمة او اتقانها، واما يحاولون الانسجام مع الناس او التألق بينهم واصابتهم بالخيبة من عدم القدرة على تحقيق ذلك يحولهم الى 10 نماذج من الاشخاص المملين.

الكتاب جميل وممتع ويعطيك اضاءات متعددة وستصادف نفسك
Sep 01, 2015 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Couldn't do it. Life is too short and this book is too stupid.
Jan 02, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: favorites
I originally picked this book up cheaply just because the title made me giggle, and I was curious. Little did I realise that this book is actually a hive of really genuinely helpful information!

My predominant use of the techniques described in this book was in running my World of Warcraft guild - what can essentially be thought of as a voluntary team of 25 people. If it's any testement to what I learned in this book, the guild became the most successful on our server, ran for several years, and
Khadijeh Za
Sep 20, 2016 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
ربما يتعين عليك ان تصل الى اعماق قلبك لتجد ذلك المكان الذي يهتم بالآخرين بصدق و اخلاص
كل الاشياء تمر واذا افسحت لها مجالاً فإنها ستزول دون أن تأخذك معها
Mutaz Nashawati
كتاب جيد ..
يتحدث عن نماذج من الناس موجودة بالحياة الواقعية ، و يعلمك كيف تتعامل مع كل منها على حدة
بل و ينظر أيضا من الجانب الآخر .. أي عندما أكون أنا أحد هذه النماذج الصعبة السلوك
و لو لفترات محدودة , كيف أساعد نفسي للتخلص من السلوك الصعب .

الشيء المشترك بين جميع الشخصيات .. تقريباً .. هو إيجاد الأرضية المشتركة
بيني و بين الطرف الآخر.

بالمختصر .. من الجيد الحصول عليه.
هالكتاب يعجبني .. كل ما طفشت من المديرة اقراه P:
Tank (confrontational) - hold ground, interrupt attack, backtrack to main point, aim for bottom line; if you are wrong: admit mistake, state briefly what you've learned, and what you'll do to prevent from happening again

Sniper (hidden shots) - look at situation and backtrack, use a searching questions to probe what other is trying to say (insinuate), use tank strategy if necessary, bring up past grievances

Know it all (and you're to blame) - be prepared and knowledgeable, backtrack, meet their d
Cleo Bannister
Aug 17, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
How to deal with people you can't stand is something that we all have to do at some time. Usually we resort to the same old strategies which have worked in the past, albeit on a different person who annoys in a different way. I had gone through my set responses to someone I have to work closely with, I was just becoming more annoyed so I opened this book and read.

This book puts people into groups allowing you to categorise the source of your annoyance and giving you tips on how to handle them. I
ضهرا درعلی
خب این میتونه کتاب خیلی مفیدی باشه اما نه برای من!
این کتاب واسه عده ای میتونه فوق العاده موثر باشه!افرادی که حوصله دارن برای سروکله زدن با بقیه,افرادی که حوصله وقت گذاشتن برای دیگران رو دارن!
واسه عده ای مثل من که تحمل سروکله زدن با افراد ناهنجار رو ندارن و کلا افرادی که مزاحمشون هستن رو از زندگیشون حذف میکنن نمیتونه مفید باشه!
خیلی جاهاتو کتاب میگفتم یعنی اینقدر وقت بزارم واسه یک آدم؟خب میزارمش کنار ,راحت تره که:-؟
ولی همه جا هم نمیشه افراد ناهنجار رو کنار گذاشتاون موقع که برسه دوباره این کتاب رو
Mar 06, 2016 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
There are only 2 things I liked about this book. The description of 10 difficult characters, aka "People You Can't Stand": the Tank, Sniper, etc. the second was the coordinate compass of people's behaviors (passive - aggressive, task focus - people focus) and how it translates to their intent. The difficult characters embody the combination of the behavior and the unfulfilled.

I found the advice for dealing with some of the characters questionable
Bashayer AbdulAziz
أضاف لي الكثير هذا الكتاب
يتكلم عن ٩ أصناف -تقريبا - مزعجة من بني البشر نقابلهم من حولنا في حياتنا
وماهي هي دوافعهم واستراتيجيات التعامل معهم
وفي النهاية يتعرض فيه إلى ماذا لو كنت أنت أحد هذه الاصناف ؟
Jul 31, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
One of the best book I read for work.
Tona Bantan
Sep 30, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
مع اني ما خلصت الكتاب لكن انواع الناس اللي يتكلم عنهم موجودين بكثرة من حولي وان شاء الله اتعلم الطريقة للتعامل معاهم
Nathan Albright
Jun 21, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: challenge2017
In reading this book I was struck by a very powerful set of mixed feelings.  On the one hand, I could read in these pages plenty of commentary and tactical advice on how to deal with people who drive me to distraction, and it was without question a useful book on communication [1].  On the other hand, reading this book was painful in a sense, because it brought forcefully and unpleasantly humorous to light the fact that I am almost certainly to many people the sort of person who they cannot stan ...more
May 31, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book years ago as part of my professional development in conflict management. I didn't realize at the time how much I would need this book to help me understand the types of behavior in people I respected around me when conflict would arise. The book was fun and informative, and I learned a few things about my own communication style as well as how to communicate with some really unintelligent arguments that always seemed to turn personal. When I was done, I handed the book off to my ...more
Sandy Samy
Unexpected book , little disappointing . It need someone who have alot of time n perfectly mature n willing to listen n solve all humans problem .
When u meet someone annoying in your work , u want him/her to do their job .. which might take a month n u will never see them again , u wouldnt want to spend a year to treat someone u wont interact or need them again anyway
Beside , in everyday life it is hard to have patience n perfection mentioned in that book
It isnt bad , it just need alot of hard
Jun 14, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I enjoyed this book for the description of the personalities of awful people, most of them your supervisors at work, because I love to read about personality pathology. But the advice was a bit too wimpy for my tastes. He always advocated passive or non-aggressive solutions to everything. No doubt that makes more sense, but I am a pretty aggressive guy, even as I had towards old age. I never did calm down.
Nov 23, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I love this Book. Its not just for people who work in business, it's for people who breath, and have to deal with others, either co-workers, the public, or even family members. I plan on keeping this book close to me at work. Great tips and help for dealing with difficult situations, and for identifying behaviors I myself have exhibited and experienced.
Erik Talboom
Sep 21, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I liked the methodical approach of the different types of behaviour and how to address each in evolutionary steps. This has helped me to learn more about my own behaviour and how I can change from the inside-out perspective. I can totally recommend the audio book, nice reading and fun to listen to while driving through traffic.
Jan 15, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: abc-challenge
This book has great information about communicating with people in their many varied moods. I highly recommend it for anyone who deals with people - parents, children, spouses, co-workers, bosses, clients, etc.
Denise Power
May 07, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
very helpful
Heila Al-Mogren
Jun 27, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: progress, begun
ضحكت بشدة وأنا أقرأ هذا الكتاب.. في الواقع قد تكون النصائح الواردة فيه مفيدة إلى حد ما لكن يظل بعض الأشخاص ميؤسًا من حالتهم.
Mar 19, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Not bad. Some good, constructive tips for diffusing difficult people in the workplace and in your personal life. Would recommend whether you're dealing with a challenging co-worker or mother-in-law.
Taha Fahed
Jan 19, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
كتاب رائع جداً .. تحفة
أنصح به الجميع ويستحق أعلى تقييم
Adam Ashton
Feb 25, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Phenomenal read. The 'Lens of Understanding' combines two spectrums, three zones, four intentions, four behaviours and thirteen types of people into one simple diagram. Mind blowing. Great book on understanding different types of people and behaviours that shows your how to communicate effectively with each stereotype.
Nov 24, 2009 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who have to deal with people
Recommended to rabbitprincess by: the library at work
When I first saw this book on a display at the library in my office, I was both intrigued and skeptical, but the intrigue won out when I requested it from the public library. I am rather stubborn and resistant to change, so I did not know how much of this book would actually help me. Still, you never know.

I must say that this book has been extremely informative and helpful. It presents ten different types of problem people and provides specific strategies for dealing with them. The authors show
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“إن الأشخاص الذين يعتقدون أن كل شيء ممكن هم القادرون على الاكتشاف والابداع” 7 likes
“قد لا تكسب كل معركة، ولكنك تستطيع أن تكسب مزيداً من الاحترام !” 6 likes
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