Pirate Haiku: Bilge-Sucking Poems of Booty, Grog, and Wenches for Scurvy Sea Dogs

by Michael P. Spradlin

The ship sails avast!
I have lost the map, mateys!
No shaking booty!
Come sail the seven seas aboard the notorious Black Thunder! Landlubbers have a first-mate seat to the grizzly life of eighteenth-century pirates--as told by the surprisingly poetic if salty One One-Leg Sterling. Shiver me timbers , never before have we poppets been privy to the gritty goings-on of the rum-running, treasure-thieving, marauding masters of the open sea from the inside out. . . until now! From trading rum for buxom beauties to fighting those limey British bastards, this book reveals the swaggering derring-do of these plundering and treacherous buccaneers--17 syllables at a time!

Genres: Poetry, Pirates, Humor

185 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2010

About the author

Michael P. Spradlin is the author of more than a dozen books for children.

Reviews

[Flo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I waited to read
this gem due to 699 ratings
according to GR

This ridiculous
collection shouldn't be
my seven hundredth

I’m known around as
One-Leg Sterling because I
Only have one leg.

*

Pirates use rum for
Many things—money, barter.
Mostly for drinking.

*

Ow. Ow. Oh dear God!
Ow. Ow. Ow. More rum. Ow Shit!
Ow. Ow. Ow. More rum!

*

I invent new ways
of torturing prisoners.
It’s dead reckoning.

Reading this book aloud, my guess.


April 2, 19

[John Bell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was hopeful after reading the introduction. That’s as good as this little book gets. It is a cheap (and deceitful, in my opinion) way for a New York Times bestselling author to make a few bucks I suppose. Luckily it was a very quick read. The thing is is that, it is horrible haiku. In haiku, each stanza, if you will, should be distinct, succinct, and meaningful—reflective even.

Anyone can write
run on sentences and
then break them apart.

Spradlin’s haiku stinks!
And far, far worse than that
he should know better.

[Kest Schwartzman · Rating 3 out of 5]

tremendously dumb, but somehow still good for a laugh

[Mandi Lucci · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was cute for being a pirate book

[Beth · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ummmmm... yeah....

I made the mistake of buying this book because I thought it was for kids.

So not for kids.

With haiku such as:

When we sail away
My "Jolly Roger" won't rise
When I pee it burns

and

Wenches get angry
If you forget their name in
The morning after

don't make the same mistake I did in assuming it's a cute pirate book for kids.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a fun short book that does follow the 5-7-5 syllable requirement for haiku but certainly that is all it took from haiku poetry. Humorous, and while some say it has a lot of repetition, we found it amusing. The haikus are not individual, it should be read straight through like a book. Again, a fun short read not to be taken too seriously.

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm not much into haiku but I love pirate humor and this book was hilarious!

[Aine · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Haiku was fun, but not as funny and clever as the ones you'll read in Ryan Mecum's Haiku books. Also, the few jokes in the book felt very repetitive. Not awful, but not great either.

[Ashly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Entertaining enough for what it is. It takes about ten minutes to read the 185 pages, but I got it for $1 so it was worth it.

[Karen Siddall · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best of the series.
So far, I've read several.
I must like pirates.

[Jeremiah Peter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Just ridiculous!

[Angela · Rating 2 out of 5]

Somewhat trite and not
as witty as it could have
been, a little fun