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Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness
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Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger from Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness

3.65  ·  Rating details ·  104 Ratings  ·  14 Reviews
In Overcoming Passive-Aggression, Dr. Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin provide an in-depth look at a topic we've all faced but haven't always recognized: Hidden anger. When people don't express their views and feel compelled to conceal their true beliefs and emotions, behaving in ways that don't match what they honestly think, there can be serious physical and psycholog ...more
Paperback, 256 pages
Published October 20th 2005 by Da Capo Press (first published October 1st 2005)
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Apr 19, 2008 rated it really liked it
Shelves: psychology
It was written in a clear style. While it had realistic scenarios of passive-aggressive situations/people, I wish they had more scenarios of realistically dealing with passive-aggressive people, like during the workplace chapter. It was good they added a chapter where passive-aggression can be part of a deeper problem, like ADHD and depression and such.
Feb 28, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: read-10
Nonfiction 7

This was a great book and I wish I had read it more carefully. I assumed the book was more of a how-to manual for dealing with passive aggressive people (not that I know any :) ), but it was more about how to address your personal passive-aggression. However, I think reading about psychological disorders makes it seem as though everyone is somewhere on the gradient of being crazy. There was some information that was very practical about not being the enabler in a relationship, that I
Nov 17, 2013 rated it it was ok
There were a few useful bits of information, but mostly this was a book filled with useless little example stories of annoying people, without much about how to actually deal with said annoying people.

Was that passive-aggressive?
Jun 22, 2010 rated it really liked it
This was a great book... I hope it helps.
Amy Fujiwara
Feb 05, 2016 marked it as to-read
I haven't actually read this book. I'm going to! But in one review it says the book says that the passive aggressive person is only mirroring passive aggression in yourself. That may be hard to accept, but it might actually be true.

There are lots of books about 'case studies' and 'how to identify' a passive-aggressive person, but not much practical 'how-to' advice. It sounds like this book could be different!

My husband ignored me for 3 weeks, then last night came home and started talking. I wa
Loriann Oberlin
May 25, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Overcoming Passive-Aggression: How to Stop Hidden Anger From Spoiling Your Relationships, Career and Happiness is still one of the few all-encompassing books on a topic that we all encounter in various facets of our lives.

So often, clients I see in clinical practice, and people that I meet wherever I go really, do not fully understand the concept. That's why my co-author and I took careful time to fully define and outline the behavior and section the book into chapters that can be easily read fo
Sep 20, 2014 rated it liked it
Passive-Agression is a condition I have seen a number of times in my coaching clients and with others I have known, past and present. The condition is defined as hidden vs. overt anger and takes many forms, including:

Indirect, incongruent and unproductive behavior
Subtle, manipulative actions or inactivity
Conscious or unconscious planned, intentional or slyly vindictive behavior, motivated by the intent to hurt, annoy or destroy others

This behavior, never positive, is triggered by needs that hav
Jan 17, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Talk about a rough read. The entire time I was reading this, I kept thinking back to that phrase from the 2001 movie A Knight's Tale: "You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting." Please don't get me wrong, it wasn't solely from this book or the last few that I've read that this thought process stems from, trust me. It's something I've been struggling with for the past year and a half and as much as I've improved, I knew I was still struggling with myriad issu ...more
Feb 26, 2015 rated it really liked it
Plenty of books have been written about passive aggression but this is one of very few books that actually offer practical tips on how to handle passive aggression other than the general rule that you should hold firm and not submit to being passive aggressive yourself when dealing with someone who is passive aggressive. Now, the difference between this book and the hundreds of other books that's been written on the subject matter is that instead of treating people like they are "problems" or me ...more
Jul 31, 2011 rated it it was amazing
I wrote a 3 paragraph review for how validating and informative this book is with checklists and coping strategies, but it didn't save, so too bad.
Oct 29, 2011 rated it liked it
This book is a good tool for those encountering passive aggression in their lives.
Amy Skaggs
Nov 22, 2014 rated it really liked it
Very helpful book, also appreciated the description of personality disorders in the appendix
Apr 27, 2009 rated it it was ok
This has a lot of over-obvious stuff in it. Couldn't have read it if it weren't "no tv week" at my house. But there were enough little nuggets of helpful truth in it to give it 2 stars.
Laurie Owen
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Tim Murphy, PhD, is a psychologist and Congressman (one of only a few members of Congress with a background in healthcare); he relies on his three decades as a psychologist to advocate for meaningful reforms in the U.S. healthcare system. He is currently working to pass the Helping Families in Mental Health Crisis Act, landmark mental health reform legislation that has praise and support from the ...more
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