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How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting
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How We Love Our Kids: The Five Love Styles of Parenting

4.2  ·  Rating details ·  188 Ratings  ·  19 Reviews
Based on years of research in the area of attachment and bonding, How We Love Our Kids shows parents how to overcome the predictable challenges that arise out of the five love styles and helps parents cultivate a secure, deep connection with a child of any age. Retool your reactions and refocus on how you love. Start today. Watch your kids flourish and thrive as they recei ...more
Paperback, 304 pages
Published March 15th 2011 by WaterBrook
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Apr 08, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This is one of the best Christian parenting books I've read, in that it steers you away from "teach your kids obedience so they will also obey God!" and more toward an empathetic, compassionate relationship. In short, more like secular parenting books that are more based on psychology and social science on emotional intelligence than literal interpretation of a few Bible passages. I learned more about myself, and was definitely inspired to change some of the ways I love my kids, especially the w ...more
Sometimes when reading a book by a professional counselor, I find myself wishing I could just have a conversation with them instead. You see the wisdom and insight peeking through the chapters, but it's hard to apply to yourself. That's my experience with How We Love Our Kids.

The five types of parents/kids seemed too extreme at times, particularly when controller (I read as abuser?) and victim are two of the five. I did recognize myself in the vacillator parent and found some helpful hints. The
Melissa Roach
Feb 03, 2012 rated it it was amazing
One Small Change in How You Love
One Big Change in your Kids

Having problems with your kids? What if you are the problem and you just can’t see it? How We Love Our Kids offers a unique approach, to help you as a parent transform your kids by making specific changes in how you love. It’s the only book specifically for parents that reveals the unseen forces that shape every interaction with your kids.

Identify which of the five love styles you have.
Discover the surprising dynamics that sha
Aug 08, 2013 rated it it was ok
Authors: Milan & Kay Yerkovich
Publisher: Waterbrook Press
March 2011
ISBN: 978-0307729248
Genre: Parenting

One Small Change in How You Love
One Big Change in your Kids

Having problems with your kids? What if you are the problem and you just can’t see it? How We Love Our Kids offers a unique approach, to help you as a parent transform your kids by making specific changes in how you love. It’s the only book specifically for parents that reveals the unseen forces that shape
Apr 07, 2012 rated it really liked it
I am always intrigued by parenting books because there really are so many different love styles. As parents we all have our individual methods of raising our children. One thing we don't really focus on is the fact that our children's behavior may not be due to them but rather due to us. Not to say that we come from dysfunctional families, but rather pointing out that no matter how we realize it our past sometimes repeats in our future. A great example is how when we are young we may tell oursel ...more
Kristen Gebbia
Jul 26, 2016 rated it really liked it
After reading the Yerkovich's original book, "How We Love", and watching the video conference with it, Ian and I saw a great improvement in our marriage. So I was really excited when the Yerkovich's came out with this book about the love styles of parenting.

The book begins by going through the 5 wounded love styles we all have, and how each one effects our parenting. The descriptions were dead on! After determining what kind of wounded love style you parent with, the book moves on to determining
Aadel Bussinger
Dec 28, 2011 rated it really liked it
If you are familiar with the Five Love Languages, this book is similar except that the love styles seem to focus more of the dysfunction of families rather than just personality type. The idea is that no family is perfect and the way we love is directly related to the family dynamic that we grew up in.

I liked this book, I really did. However, there were a few things that bothered me. I wish the authors had used more scripture to back up some of their observations on love styles. It seemed that t
Feb 02, 2017 rated it liked it
I should have read How We Love before reading this--I think the authors' first book would've given me a better foundation for their ideas.
The main idea of this book is this: "our children's messy development reveals the mess within us as parents" -- that we bring our own issues from childhood into our parenting -- but that "By discovering the unseen forces that determine how we parent, we can learn to respond to children free from the wounds of the past." I just wonder if all poor parenting is a
Cathy Doman
May 09, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: firstreads
I am so glad I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads! Reading this book, I learned so much that will help me be a better parent. Milan and Kay Yerkovich explained the 5 different love styles of parenting, how the way we parent usually reflects the way we were parented. They showed ways to overcome specific challenges we all face, based on our own love style, and ways to change for the better. If we understand ourselves, and take care of our own challenges first, we are better ...more
Oct 18, 2012 rated it really liked it
I found the first part of this book to be rather depressing in that it breaks down each person's emotional style into one of five types, and then goes on to describe how each type is damaging to their child. Not very uplifting!

The later parts go on to describe different types of children, and how best to interact with them. This is what I had been hoping to get out of the book, and I felt much better as a parent and more empowered after reading through to the end.

I have been looking for books
Rheta Thola
Oct 30, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: christian-living
Great book. Actually learned more about myself and my childhood than I did about "parenting" methods. However the premise of the book is about choosing to address your need to heal and grow and how that affects your parenting. So true! Very enjoyable and easy read with providing absolute practical ideas. Love the "toolkit" in the back that provides different "soul words" to use when talking with your kids, and different ways to engage your kids in conversations. Also very smart in breaking down ...more
Crystal Green
Oct 05, 2012 rated it really liked it
This was another great parenting book. This book helps a parent to understand "HOW" they love their kids. We all have our unique ways of parenting, and this book definitely helps point out the pros and cons of each type of style. To read more about my review go to .
Lisa Vu
Jul 19, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Excellent read for parents. Provides insight into how family or origin shapes our parenting style. A perfect opportunity to take a look into our own hearts and see specific areas where we need God's guidance and healing in order to replace reactive parenting (via personal issues) with a healthy, godly love for our children.
Dec 14, 2013 added it
Extremely interesting and well written. No one realizes the importance of emotionally training your children to be aware not only of their feelings but also of others and know how to properly care for them both. This book teaches to recognize personalities in children and yourself, and give you a battleplan on how to raise emotionally intelligent adults. Loved it !
Nov 27, 2015 rated it really liked it
Really helpful at diagnosing some issues in your parenting. Always looking to improve in this area and this book had some sharp insights.
Sep 18, 2014 rated it really liked it
Really loved this book.
Alaina Maxam
Jun 01, 2011 rated it it was amazing
jessica henkel
Mar 25, 2016 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Best parenting book I've read

Loved the new way this book encourages us as parents to see our kids, their behavior and needs- strongly recommend it!
Holly Goddard
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May 16, 2012
Tara Maedinger
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Jennifer M Walton
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Debra K Licona
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Jan 14, 2016
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Apr 30, 2012
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Jul 05, 2016
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Milan Yerkovich is a weekly talk show host on the New Life Live! radio program. An ordained pastor with a master’s degree in biblical studies, he has been helping couples and families build healthier relationships for more than twenty-five years. Previously a pastoral counselor for The Center for Individual and Family Therapy, Milan now teaches seminars on relationships and intimacy and is cofound ...more
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