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Raising a Son: Parents and the Making of a Healthy Man
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Raising a Son: Parents and the Making of a Healthy Man

3.48  ·  Rating details ·  118 Ratings  ·  24 Reviews
Boys pose special challenges for today’s stressed parents. In Raising A Son, the Eliums embrace the challenges--and the joys--of raising boys with compassion, commitment, experience, patience, and humor. This fully updated and expanded edition follows the psychological development of boys from infancy to young adulthood. Look for new sections on: 
 
• media and violence 
• th
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Paperback, 344 pages
Published November 1st 2004 by Celestial Arts (first published March 1992)
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Community Reviews

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Katie
Nov 12, 2007 added it
Shelves: abandoned
I'm about halfway through so far and I have to say that there's an awful lot of speculation and assumption without a whole lot of substantial evidence to back up the claims of this couple. As a book that talks about raising boys into men in a post-feminist era, the wife doesn't have too much to say. "Don"'s comments, however, are strewn throughout the book as experiential evidence of their theories and ideas.

I really enjoyed the first section on the physical development of men. The second sectio
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Colleen Broce
Mar 20, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: bookshelf
Raising a Son addresses specifically the needs of males in our society and their physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing in each developmental phases.
Erin
Jun 26, 2010 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: parents of boys
I read this book slowly, over the course of several months, and although I appreciated what the authors had to say, I think I would have been better off had I read it faster. Much of what the book covers is really Parenting 101, just targeted to boys, so it wasn't all that revelatory to me personally. However, I think there are thousands--maybe millions--of parents out there who would GREATLY benefit from reading and internalizing this book, given the wretched parenting I see all too often where ...more
Phoebe
May 29, 2012 rated it really liked it
This is a good book. It gives a historical perspective to the male archetype and a general framework for parenting but with key things to keep in mind for sons specifically. Later chapters focus on attributes for different age ranges. I found it all very insightful and practical.

I read the chapters in order but the authors do a good job of redirecting readers back to the framework described early on, good for those who skip ahead to the age-range chapters first. There was a little preachiness in
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Ashlyn Hunt
Oct 25, 2012 rated it really liked it

Raising a Son is quite literally the ultimate handbook to understanding a boy's development, psychology, and biology in the modern world. I'm so grateful to have ascertained a copy while my son is still a toddler. The knowledge I've acquired through this read is priceless.

Don and Jeanne Elium have undoubtedly brought me closer to my son. As a mother, obviously of the opposite sex, there were times when I felt helpless and unprepared for what to expect or offer with a son, and how to address gend
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Amy
Sep 11, 2007 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Mothers & Fathers
Shelves: parenting
I really enjoyed this. I admittedly skimmed some of the portions on older childhood as my son is still a toddler. I really enjoyed how tied together the book was on talking about the needs of a child but also addressing that we didn't always have our needs met, so crossing that bridge while crucial, might be a little trying too. I am definitely going to be asking my husband to read this. I am glad I found this book as I was very disappointed in On Raising Boys.
Katie
Jan 30, 2013 rated it really liked it
Really insightful read. Although it borders on speculative, it offers a lot of genuine deliberation on what it means to raise a man. I have appreciated the candor and focus on the male as a whole general force as opposed to many other parenting books that focus on your child's 'uniqueness'. It is nice to hear how men connect and how that relates.
Andrea
Aug 11, 2014 rated it liked it
Making my husband read it as I thought he would get much more out of it. Focus is on the important role of fathers or male role models to shape our boys in good men. After 8 they don't seem to need Mom as much and I see that to some degree in my older son (9). I miss my baby boy who needed me so so much for security and warmth.
Amy Elizabeth
Nov 20, 2012 rated it liked it
A good how to book broken down into age groupings on what to expect and common issues. A good deal of focus paid to tv watching and the evils surrounding it. The sexuality part was worthwhile. I think I will need about 20 more how to books before I know how to have The Big talk :-).
Jennyprice
Dec 30, 2008 rated it did not like it
I didn't finish this because the authors' style didn't work for me. I think there is some good info in here, I just didn't have the patience to wade through it and deal with the commentary on the downsides of "modern life."
Dave
Oct 30, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: living-a-life
An insightful book that really allows the reader to reflect on how we make our choices in raising kids. Some good concrete stuff that helps out.
Matt Ely
A very helpful tool in understanding the psyche and behavior of my boys.
Heather
This is a great read. I read up through age 10 and plan to read it again as my son grows. I learned more about how a boy operates and I think it will help me relate to my son better as he grows.
Dalon
Apr 03, 2009 marked it as to-read
still reading this ... started a while ago ... raising kids is a lifelong process anyway, right?!
Melissa
Aug 10, 2009 rated it it was amazing
This book gave me a wonderful peek into the mind of my son. Being from an all-girl family myself, it is like a manual for me in raising my son.
Angela Wade
Apr 11, 2011 rated it it was ok
Shelves: self-help, parenting
Mediocre at best and filled with personal opinions rather than scientific facts.
Julie
Sep 22, 2012 rated it it was ok
Shelves: self-help
Just ok. Hard to read. A lot of opinions from the authors. Explains why boys behave as they do.
Shannon
Sep 20, 2011 rated it liked it
Good resource for a few ideas. (Library)
Celia
Aug 11, 2014 rated it did not like it
Shelves: didn-t-finish
this seems like just another book making parents crazy. I got to the part where being a working mother scars your children for life and stopped.
Julie
Jan 24, 2009 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Very hard to read so I gave up...too many other good books out there to waste time on it.
April
Oct 11, 2014 rated it did not like it
Appalling. Apparently, it is impossible to become a man without macho father figures. Bunk.
Harmonkurt
Dec 19, 2013 rated it did not like it
1950 called it wants its book back. Horribly stereotypes men. As an involved dad this book was insulting.
Elizabeth
Feb 20, 2014 rated it really liked it
A great guide to all ages and stages of boyhood. I will be referring back to it over the ages. A bit exhausting with the references to tribal times, so slow to start, but useful overall.
Jennifer
Jan 31, 2010 rated it it was ok
OK. The authors had a few good ideas. I hope there are much better books out there on raising boys!
Frances
rated it it was amazing
Mar 18, 2012
Angela Stott
rated it liked it
Mar 24, 2017
Beth
rated it it was amazing
May 05, 2008
Stephenie
rated it it was ok
Nov 15, 2008
Cong Nguyen
rated it really liked it
Dec 17, 2016
Michael
rated it really liked it
Nov 10, 2012
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“I complained to a friend that although I had completed six years in therapy, my mother still wouldn’t let me go. He replied, "She’s not supposed to let you go. Your father is supposed to come and get you.” 5 likes
“Quality time is not the same as the everydayness of being together. Let’s neither glorify nor undervalue.” 1 likes
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