Grown-Up Girlfriends: Finding and Keeping Real Friends in the Real World

by Erin Smalley, Carrie Oliver

Even when life is hectic and harried, every woman has a God-given longing for relationship, and her female friends play an important role in filling that. Oliver and Smalley help women distinguish between self-centered, insecure, childish relationships and other-centered, healthy, “grown-up” relationships. Using personal anecdotes and scriptural principles, they explain ten characteristics of a grown-up friend and offer ideas on how readers can develop these attributes in themselves. Finally, they tackle the tough issues of friendships, such as how to support a friend in crisis, how to work toward forgiveness when a friend has injured you, and how to determine when it is best to let a friendship go.

Genres: Christian Living, Relationships, Womens

240 pages, Paperback

First published March 6, 2007

Reviews

[Claire Smith · Rating 4 out of 5]

some pretty decent advice in here. Now where do I go to find these ladies?

[Jennifer Parent · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book that I have read in 2017. I have been looking for a resource for a long time that could give me some concrete info to help me evaluate my friendships and how I can be a better friend. This book brought me to deep soul feeling and tears on more than one occasion. I love the Biblical focus and reference to scripture and the ultimate challenge to identify what purpose God had for each of our friendships and what we can do to glorify God in our relationships. I love that we were created to connect. I hope to put together a study group of women willing to read and discuss the applications of this book more in depth.

[Trace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, excellent book. Don't let the bubble-gum pink cover fool you. This is isn't fluffy or surface-level reading. It treats the topic of female friendships with the respect that it deserves and goes deep. Gave me lots and lots to think over and made me aware of some things that I'd previously never given thought to.

I also loved how the authors remind the readers that the best friendships bring glory to God. Loved that so much.

[Jill · Rating 2 out of 5]

I quit reading this one, wasn't what I needed at the time

[Jolie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first few chapters of this book were really good, but then there were just a few nuggets through the rest.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book about 2 years ago and finally sat down and read it this past week. Although it brought up painful things the insight was very helpful to me. I found the idea of the basket friendship to be interesting. One chapter that stood out the most was Chapter 8 The Grown Up Friend Forgives. It was also the hardest chapter for me to read! Two things that stood out was this: Reconciliation is an agreement that the friendship will be different- hopefully better because two people have come out on the other side of forgiveness and hurt. Trust and safety can now be built on the common ground of understanding and love! Trust and safety is huge for me. 2nd paragraph is this: Yes forgiving and being forgiven can lead to growth in a friendship. In fact the depth of a relationship may depend on the ability to go through forgiveness!
I believe every woman needs to read this book whether or not they have been through friendship break ups or not and whether or not they have had a forever friend in their life. It will help strength and change the way you view yourself and the kind of friend you are! The communication chapter was awesome too. I found that I had made some mistakes in that area and what to change it. This chapter gave me the insights to do so! Erin Smalley and Carrie Oliver did an amazing job sharing their stories and insights! I am so glad I read this. It will stay on my shelf for later reviewing as I need to.

[Sarabeara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was suggested by a beautiful friend who may not be a "Bucket 1" friend per the books ideas however the wisdom she has in sharing this book I am so thankful for. This book provides great wisdom and insight on building friendships at different levels, being a safe person, intimacy, growing past hurts, allowing yourself to be you and allowing others to be themselves. The real key for me was being a safe friend. This book is definitely worth the read if you truly want to build great friendships with your girlfriends. The insight that Erin and Carrie provided is not only foundational but the building blocks as well.

[Kristin Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought this book had some great insights on friendships. I liked the basket concept, the levels of intimacy stages, the info on pushing buttons and what fear might look like, the lists of friendship skills, the permission to let go of some friendships, communication and more. I also appreciated the insight that 'men experience intimacy through shared activities, and women experience intimacy through verbal self-disclosure and shared emotion' (p. 102)

I'm going to enjoy giving this book as graduation gifts.

[Jenny Lynn · Rating 3 out of 5]

While this is a great book, it's original goal was for a small group. I wouldn't recommend it for a group of long time believers. The principle is simple and not really meaty enough for a group Bible study and there is a lack of scriptual references. The advise is good and I would recommend this book really to any woman...but more as a solo read.

[Elisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

I grew up without any idea of what a healthy relationship looked like. This book shows that God puts people in our lives for a reason. I really liked how it explained that not everybody is supposed to be your best friend and that learning how to distinguish between them can help put a lot less strain on your friendships!

[Mandy J. Hoffman · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book to read for a Biblical overview of frienship. I would suggest anyone who is struggling with a frienship read it for great Biblical advice on solving some of your frienship frustrations.

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mostly cheesy but has some GREAT points to walk away with about adult friendship. We did the book through a woman's bible study. By the last 4+ chapters, we were ready to be done with the book, but we were all glad we had at least done the book.

[Heidi · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very great book on a subject that is dear to my heart. It was a gift from Natalie and I cherish it!

[Christie · Rating 4 out of 5]

A glance at what the Bible says about women and friendship. Explains what God had in mind about our roles as friends when he created us.

[Iraina LIZ Briganty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great and easy read.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a hard world to navigate. This deals with all types of frienships and helped me not take things so personally. I have given this book to many of my close friends.

[Gina Brenna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've read several books on friendship for women and this is the first that I've enjoyed and felt answered the questions I've had. Very practical and encouraging.

[Gabrielle · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is about how to maintain a healthy relationship with your best friend. Even as you grow older and marriage and children get in the way this book helps you keep a friendship strong.

[Norma · Rating 4 out of 5]

I honestly think I have A LOT of growing up to do.. This book helped me realize that I haven't been very mature with all my friendships. Growing up is not a number thing it's a choice we make.