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Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever.

3.28  ·  Rating details ·  590 ratings  ·  140 reviews
For Jane Jones, being a vampire is nothing like you read about in books. In fact, it kind of sucks. She's not beautiful, she's not rich, and she doesn't "sparkle." She's just an average, slightly nerdy girl from an ordinary suburban family (who happens to be vampires.) Jane's from the wrong side of the tracks (not to mention stuck in the world's longest awkward phase), so ...more
Paperback, 240 pages
Published May 10th 2011 by Ember
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Average rating 3.28  · 
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 ·  590 ratings  ·  140 reviews

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Jan 29, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I was surprised by this book. I assumed it would be your typical YA vampire story - awkward teen vampire girl meets boy, they fall in love, overcome vampire issue, and live happily ever after... (unless it's a series) - and while that add a line of humor throughout the story, strange things happen in Jane's life that make the book almost more of a mystery than a teen vampire romance. It is a short, fun read, and I would recommend it if you like vampires, mysteries, or YA books about awkward teen ...more
Aug 02, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones definitely is the "Worst. Vampire. Ever." She's blood intolerant for one and has to survive on an incredibly rare blood type that her blue collar family has to struggle to find and pay for. She's also, like the rest of us, surrounded by the growing teen vampire media craze that swears all teen vampires are rich, sexy vixens leading glamorous lives whereas Jane's existence is anything but.

Jane, the heroine of what could be a funny "alternative" vampire series poking fun at that teen v
May 25, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. follows Jane a "teenage" vampire with a blood allergy. Jane was turned during the depression and has been moving every four years since with her parents and her younger bother. At Jane's new school she has to deal with a mysterious history teacher, an overexcited human history partner and a couple teen vampires all while dealing with her over protective mother and her blood alergy.

This book had so much promise. The title and description made it sound like comed
Jane is a vampire, but a unique vampire who is allergic to blood. She also doesn't feel like she fits in anywhere and has no friends.

I was pulled into this story with the first chapter especially with Jane's mother. I thought it was going to be a cute and somewhat funny book. I mean Jane's mother at the start cracked me up. Unfortunately as the story went on it got worse and I didn't find it funny at all.

"It was because the whole reason I was here was a phony, fake farce and I had a lot of real
Aug 30, 2011 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Should NOT be compared to Jay, Fantaskey, or Brewer!

Jane Jones is just your average teenaged vampire with over-protective parents and a blood-intolerance. For no apparent reason she's suddenly receiving the attentions of handsome vampire Timothy and awkward human Eli. All she really wants is to be human again, even if it means leaving her parents and younger brother behind. Meanwhile she has to juggle schoolwork and problematic peers.

I chose this book because of the comparison to one of my favo
May 13, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I was initially drawn to this book by its cute, bright pink cover, and title. Then I read the synopsis and it sounded so funny. Can you imagine a vampire stuck in an eternally awkward tween phase, from the wrong side of the tracks, and to make things worse, has a blood allergy? I HAD to have this book!

Caissie St. Onge did not disappoint. The hilarity begins from page one and does not cease. Meet Jane Jones. The Worst. Vampire. Ever. Jane has been battling a series of undead lifetimes of being le
Piper Gilkison
May 23, 2011 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was... wow! It contains love, loss, and the stress of being a 15 year old female vampire ( Actually 80 years old, but to the human eye, no one can tell)! Being blood intolerent, Jane is having a hard time with the whole 'vamp' thing!
This book was amazingly sweet and fiesty at the same time! My favorite part was... well, find out for yourself!
Anya Lach
Mar 18, 2013 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I hated this book so much I'm sorry it was just so bad. It was badly written, the plot was bad, the characters were bad, do yourself a favour don't read this book
Aadhisree Subramanian
My book that I chose was not the best book .The book was boring and didn’t have any interesting parts . I thought the author could have gave a better storyline. The story didn’t grab my attention as much . The book was not anything I expected it to be but I still enjoyed it in the beginning. I would rate this book 2 out of 5 starts and wouldn’t recommend this book to teens but I think young people like 6 or 7th graders could enjoy this book better than me . Overall the book was just not what I h ...more
Kristine Hansen
Somewhat standard fare of teen girl who is a vampire, with some unexpected twists - a rare disorder, a mystery, and lots of adventure.

While I was somewhat irritated by Jane, I can't find flaw with the execution, and will likely drop a star just because I felt the other characters came off as flat. This is a book that would have benefitted from a higher word count and some dedication to exploring this world and the mystery aspects a little more.
Nov 03, 2017 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I think some young adult books are younger than others. This one is pretty young. I read a novel about a family of British vampires maybe last year, which was the more grown-up version of this.
It says in the blurb that the author has written comedy for television. That seems to make sense.The characters are basically likable. And the family loves each other, which is nice.
May 02, 2018 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Meh. This book was pretty generic. I'm glad it was a library book, because it was kind of boring and the plot was predictable and lame. At least it was short, I guess. I liked the idea, even if it was nothing new. Hopefully I can find better books with similar concepts (reluctant vampire).
An Odd1
Apr 22, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy
Funny, sad escalates to scary, love triangle and villains (one predictable) solved make me contented for contained plot not overflowing to sequel, yet curious enough to follow series.
Jennifer Rinehart
I finished this book weeks ago, which is a big sign that I didn't care for since it took me this long to get around to reviewing it. There isn't anything specific I can point to that would sum up my middling level of dissatisfaction, this was an okay book, it just wasn't very fun, exciting, interesting or thought provoking.

Jane Jones is a vampire. Her mom, dad and ten year old brother are vampires too. They were made undead during the great depression and ever since they move from town to town,
Jun 30, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: first-reads
Courtesy of Goodreads First reads.

(view spoiler)
Mar 11, 2011 rated it liked it
"When a group of freaks are calling you a freak, it's pretty freaking bad." -- Jane Jones

High school sucks for normal kids, but imagine if you could never graduate because you're a sixteen year old vampire who has been repeating her high school years ever since the Great Depression. To make matters worse, if you're Jane Jones you can only safely drink the rarest blood type in the world and all the common blood gives you an allergic reaction. Things begin to look up when Jane reads about a possi
Cathy  Keaton
Jun 14, 2011 rated it really liked it
How do I begin to write about how funny and clever this little novel was? I'm going to have to do my best. Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. sounded like a hilarious title, and, although not a raucous knee-slapper ever other line, it was still overall witty and full of comedic, lovable characters that shaped it into a fun, fast read. I found myself enjoying this title so much, I wanted the judge at the hearing I had to attend in support of my sister to be quiet so I could concentrate on it!

Jan 01, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-in-2017
This was an entertaining book. Not a lot of depth in characters but a fun read.
Liz at Midnight Bloom Reads
I essentially took one look at the cover, flipped to the back of the novel to read the plot description and then instantly started reading it! I know dystopian is steadily taking over as the next big thing, but I still can't resist vampire novels... especially when it looks like I'll be getting some laughs in as well!

Contrary to popular belief, vampirism is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, there are rich, beautiful and powerful vampires out there but Jane Jones and her family are anythi
Megan Burback
Jane Jones is a vampire and not a very good one at that seeing as she can’t drink blood or she will have an allergic reaction (not very pretty). She’s a self-proclaimed nerd with a pretty boring life (aside from the vampirism that is). Really, she’s just an ordinary misfit teenager going to high school time after time after time. Until one day she meets two boys: Eli a geeky, shy, but cute boy who is her partner in her American History class and Timothy, a suave, handsome, popular vampire boy wh ...more
Oct 27, 2011 rated it really liked it
Winter Warmers Event ~ Shelley Workinger picks Worst. Vampire. Ever. by Caissie St. Onge:

I live for humor. I need it in my friends, movies, books, and my own work, even though my “Solid” series isn't a comedy. In fact, my most treasured reader accolades are those that say what a great, sarcastic heroine Clio is. And I couldn't let her be the only one: Jack is adorably witty; Miranda's comebacks aren't usually cute, but they are clever; Garrett can always
Jul 05, 2011 rated it liked it
The synopsis of this one caught my eye and it sounded different enough that I thought I'd give it a chance. Was a little disappointing, but still an okay read.

Jane's family was turned during the 1930s and are not independently wealthy, suave, or sophisticated. Nice change of pace, as most vampires sound too good to be true. I always wondered why vampires had so much money at their disposal. Even with their long lives, you still have to have money in order to benefit from all that lovely compoun
Sixteen-year-old (going on 90) Jane Jones is new at Port Lincoln High. Vampires move around a lot since they don't age. She has to survive high school again and again. There are a lot of vampires wherever Jane moves but their existence is kept secret from humans.

Jane wouldn't mind being a dork as much if her overly-protective mother didn't insist she try to blend in with the other cooler vampires. She's not likely to impress the cool vampires if they find out she's allergic to blood, so she only
Sarah Miles
It took me *forever* to finish reading this one, and I was close to giving up on it. The first half of the book just wasn't holding my attention, so I jumped to a couple of other series before telling myself to finish this or give it up. And let me just say - the second half is *way* better. Jane Jones, a vampire who's allergic to blood, is an outcast in the "vampires frozen as teens" group. She hates it. Wishes that her family would've just been left alone by the "farmers" that turned them. The ...more
Nov 30, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: read-in-2011
First Impression:
Nice twist on vampire lore. Cute cover. Seemed like it had quite a bit going for it. Was really hoping for some humor.

While Reading:
I really, really wanted to like Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. The summary seems to promise a funny, quirky take on the vampire lore which is different than most vampire offerings. But what I got, was a tale that seemed to try a little too hard.

After finishing the last page, my brain has been trying to sort out my feelings for Jane Jones. Part of
Mar 31, 2011 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. follows Jane a "teenage" 90 year old vampire, and not a very good one at that, with a blood allergy. Yep. A vamp who is allergic to blood. Jane, who was turned along with the rest of her family, during the depression. Ever since then she and her family have been on the move every four years to avoid detection. At Jane's most recent school she encounters a mysterious history teacher, an overexcited human history partner, and a couple of really nasty snobby typica ...more
Stacey B.
OVERALL IMPRESSION: This was a cute book. I was afraid that it was going to be a little too cutesy with too much high school drama, but that wasn't the case at all. The book has the typical story line of the girl desperately wanting to fit in with the 'cool' crowd, but there's a twist that vampires are involved. I think this book is great for anyone who wants to read a quick book that is actually a good book as well.

CHARACTERS: The main character of the book is Jane. She is a vampire, but she ha
Sep 04, 2011 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 1-star

Let me start by saying that I love vampire novels. I enjoyed reading Anne Rice's Vampires Chronicles, liked reading the Twilight Saga through I thought sparkling was unnecessary for the vampires, but it's not my book so it's okay. But this book was a big disappointment for me. The cover was brightly colored, which I didn't mind. But the story in its self, was awkward to me. I give the author props for trying a different twist to vampire novels, but I didn't really like it as much as I thought I
Dec 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
Shelves: ya-for-y-o-u
I'm really only giving this 4 stars for the writing. I mean, it was pretty good, I guess. I read it all in a day. But the plot was a little jumpy (like the ending, not really a spoiler but you should probably stop reading this if you don't want spoilers- when she made her decision after not having brought it up in a long time and with the indication made indirectly to the reader) and the main character, Jane, wasn't very clear on her beliefs (like not contacting people for decades and then sudde ...more
Sep 21, 2014 rated it it was ok
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This book should be retitled Jane Jones: Worst Vampire Book Ever. I understand that the point of the book was to be humorous and entertaining, but I don't think it was any of those. When the book was supposed to be funny, I found myself cringing for the main character, and I didn't find it entertaining. If I could have the time back that I wasted on this book, I would take it in a heartbeat.

This book was clearly supposed to t
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Review 2 12 Mar 02, 2011 02:13PM  

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