Spoilers
Underwhelming, cliched, and mostly predictable. The characters, the story, and the ending was all rubbish. I wasn't expecting great things from CoHF but I did think I'd get a LOT more than what was delivered. There was no originality, no twists, no satisfying resolutions, there was just NOTHING… Everything worked out pretty much perfectly for the main characters, it was so bloody cheesy and blah.
What's what: Incest-loving-evul-caricature-Sebastian wants to shag his sister and do other evul things. Meanwhile thicko-bland-Clary, supposedly-sexy-looking-but-not-actually-sexy-Jace, and their merry gang of fellow teen angsty-shadowlosers want to put on their big boy/girl knickers and stop shaggy-mcgee-Sebastian and his shaggy plans. All whilst navigating their oh so complicated love lives and finding themselves and shit like that.
Random Thoughts:
-Most of Clary's thoughts consisted of how sexy Jace was and how hot she was for him. It was pathetic. It was tiresome reading her describe Jace's hair, cheekbones, and eyes every single time she saw him - I mean, who the hell thinks about someone's facial features and the various shades of colours of said facial features whenever they see someone that they're close to?! It was beyond ridiculous.
Clary was generally an awful person, she had the chance to kill Sebastian in the last book but she refused because it would mean killing Jace too. So she let crazy-evul Sebastian live and that resulted in him basically killing thousands and starting a war. Clary knew something like that could happen and instead of ridding the world of a monster she let thousands die and suffer just because she was too weak, vile, and selfish to let her boyfriend of a few months die. Ugh, she was no heroine, she was a sick cow and Mary Sue all rolled into a pasty, short, ginger package.
-Jace was an extremely dull character, he was seriously the biggest Gary Stu ever… He was the best young Shadowhunter that ever was, the sexiest, the smartest, the most talented, there was nothing he wasn't good at. He wasn't a complex or realistic character in any way, he was a flat and cliched speshul snowflake. He was basically just a pathetic fangirl fantasy.
-Magnus was still as petty and irritating as ever. The way he acted towards Alec was awful, it was cruel how he gave so many mixed messages to an already messed up and confused Alec. He was playing hot and cold with him and giving him false hope, it was a dick move when he knew that Alec was clueless about breakups/relationships in general.
Magnus made plenty of mistakes in his centuries old life but when Alec, a teenager in his first ever relationship, made one mistake he flipped the fuck out. Where was his understanding and compassion? He had none, he just liked playing the victim.
And when Magnus did deign to give his relationship with Alec another chance, it was only because he was more or less forced to forgive Alec and open up about his past to him. He never wanted to restart their relationship or tell Alec about his past of his own accord, he only did it because he felt backed into a corner. If he really loved Alec as much as he claimed then he wouldn't have kept so many thing from him especially when he could see how insecure and hurt he was by it.
In the series overall it seemed like super old and experienced Magnus was allowed to lie, be insensitive, and make mistakes… Yet inexperienced-in-every-way Alec wasn't able to so the same without being punished.
Magnus/Alec were not romantic in any way, Alec deserved a much better guy than him, someone who actually respected and trusted him, and not someone who always had the upper hand and control in all aspects of their relationship.
-That bullshit line from Magnus that Alec was his first many things was well, bullshit. Magnus experienced love, sex, heartbreak, adventure, lust, men, women, teenagers, and everything in between. Alec wasn't his first anything. Well, he was his first shadowhunter boyfriend — that was probably the only reason he was even interested in him because he wanted to cross that of his list of experiences. When Alec dies, he'll be watching out for his next teenage shadowhunter love victim. Ugh.
-I felt sorry for Isabelle, she really loved Simon but it was obvious that he was all about Clary, he was still wishing and fantasizing about being with Clary even though he was meant to be over her. Isabelle loved Simon with all her heart and never felt that way about anyone else, she was just second best to him and the main reason he only ever liked her was because of her looks. She really should have dumped Simon instead of settling for him when he'd always love Clary just as much, if not more than her. And no, I didn't buy Simon saying he only loved Clary like a sister.
-I didn't like Jocelyn getting a happy ending, she should have died horribly, it was her fault that Sebastian/Jonathan never had a chance of a proper life. If she had protected her son from Valentine, he could have been normal and loved but because she was weak, stupid, and selfish his life was destroyed before it even began and he was born a monster. Jocelyn failed as a mother in the worst possible way yet she got everything at the end. The cow.
-Maryse and Amatis were both utterly pathetic. Amatis for refusing to move on from Stephen when he happily divorced her, remarried and had a child with someone else, and was then dead for years… The loser carried on mooning over him for almost two decades instead of getting on with her own life and trying to find happiness elsewhere. Then there was Maryse who took back Robert after he cheated on her, and was planning on leaving her and their kids for someone else… Why would she take him back after that?! And then when he finally did leave her she went into a deep freeze and turned cold and emotionless. Ugh, they were both so unbelievably pathetic in not moving on, and wanting men who clearly didn't want them or love them.
-I rolled my eyes at all the adult shadowhunters coming up with shitty plans to defeat the bad guys… Of course, the silly-angsty-teenage-shadowhunters somehow came up with better plans… And typically the adults didn't listen to them. Heaven forbid, educated and experienced adults handling things better than the usually stupid, whiny, teenage protagonists.
-What a cop out that no-one from the main gang died. They all got their perfect sickly sweet HEA. Alec was cool being with immortal and forever young Magnus whilst he aged and died, it would have been so much better if he couldn't handle that and instead decided to break up with him so he could be with someone who would grow old and die with him.
Simon stopped being a vampire in a totally deus ex machina way and got to be human again just like he wanted — oh and then he got to be a shadowhunter and spend forever with his geeky fanboy dream of a hot girlfriend. Jace and Clary were naturally, talking about marriage even though they weren't even eighteen yet, and Jace got a mansion and bling for finally embracing being a Herondale instead of a Wayland-Morgenstern-Lightwood-whatever-wanker.
The only ending that was good was Maia's - she fell out of love with Jordan, he died, and she moved on. It was great that she no longer wanted to be with the guy who attacked her and turned her into a wolf. It made a change from the usual female protagonist who stay with the love interests who betray and hurt them in unforgivable ways… Maia was far more worthy and admirable than Clary.
-Emma and Julian's way of communicating with each other by using their fingers to draw letters on the others skin was so copied from My Mad Fat Diary's Rae and Finn (which CC has said she's watched).
The whole TMI series is filled with things from other books and tv shows, CC can't seem to think of stuff by herself.
-Where were all the strong female friendships? There was loads of focus on male friendships, it seemed like the female characters were only allowed to have good friendships and banter with other male characters. There was barely no scenes where Clary/Isabelle bonded, the couple they did have was spent moaning about guys — apparently, strong female friendships don't matter.
-Ugh, I hated how various spin off shadowhunter series (like the Bane chronicles and the Dark Artifices) were pimped out in this — it was so cheap and obvious.
-I'm pretty sure telling someone they have to 'DTR' ('define their relationship' with their potential partner) wasn't a thing back in 2008.
-The shops/places in Alicante/Idris seemed like a crappy copy of Harry Potter/Diagon Alley.
All in all, absolute rubbish. I loved TID but this series not so much — the characters are so unlikeable, the relationships so cheesy, and the story predictable and dragged out. I doubt I'll read any of the future spin off series.