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The Courage to Be a Stepmom: Finding Your Place Without Losing Yourself
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The Courage to Be a Stepmom: Finding Your Place Without Losing Yourself

3.73  ·  Rating details ·  90 ratings  ·  10 reviews
Who's taking care of me? Popular author, psychotherapist, mother, and stepmother Sue Patton Thoele has the answer to that question. She offers practical advice and emotional support for women who find themselves in transitional families -- but it's not the usual nuts and bolts advice about such issues as dealing with hostile ex-wives or learning to effectively discipline. ...more
Paperback, 320 pages
Published April 1st 2003 by Wildcat Canyon Press (first published 1999)
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3.73  · 
Rating details
 ·  90 ratings  ·  10 reviews

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Diane Ingram Fromme
Sep 02, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Thoele reaches stepmoms with a tender yet quietly authoritative voice, from someone who has been there. I enjoyed the wonderful stories, and the counsel when I didn't know what else to do or say to help myself and my stepkids.
Jan 08, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Stepmothers of all ages and ranges of experience
The Subtitle (Finding your place without losing yourself) is an accurate description of what the book is about. When I first started looking into the literature out there about blended families, I became quickly discouraged because much of it was negative and discouraging. In fact I would encourage anyone looking for a book about this topic to do a little research and read a few reader reviews before choosing the book lest you find yourself reading something not right for you.

This book had some
Dec 26, 2008 rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting
There is some good info in here. It includes real-life examples, which is something I usually appreciate. While some people may find this book extremely useful, I only found it mildly useful.

The author used a term in this book that I really like and may incorporate in my life: "Heart Mother and heart child" vs. Stepmother and stepchild. (And given the origins of "step," Heart mother sounds and feels a lot better!)
Apr 05, 2012 rated it really liked it
This is the best book on being a stepmom that I've read. It's not the typical advice, it has much more to offer. It's unflinchingly honest and would be incredibly helpful for stepmoms who are struggling with their stepkids, or the guilt of thinking they have no idea what they are doing or even aren't liking their stepkids. I would imagine it would be reassuring to every stepmom out there in some way.
Mar 31, 2009 rated it did not like it
Kind of ridiculous. The author loves unnecessary alliteration and "quips," and it gets irritating. However, the book is much more encouraging than other "stepmother" books I have read. It is realistic, but doesn't make me want to run screaming in the opposite direction.
Jan 24, 2011 rated it liked it
A little preachy but Thoele makes a few good points.
Skimmed a lot of it\nRepition from other books I've read\nVery new age-y stuff about getting in touch with your inner child blah blah.
Feb 22, 2013 rated it it was amazing
This is a great book! I bought this while we were fighting custody in 2008. I did a book report on this one for the court. I recommend this book for any stepmohter
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“Sometimes the waters of our spirits are churned and murky, and it is difficult to tap the reservoirs of our innate wisdom and knowledge. But the waters will settle as we do. Quietly and gently encourage yourself to go inside. Clarity will come.” 2 likes
“If you're about to become a stepmother or are currently filling that role, you are gambling that the love you've found and the strength and wisdom that you've acquired will see you through.” 0 likes
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