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The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps

4.09  ·  Rating details ·  280 Ratings  ·  30 Reviews
An invaluable resource for couples in which one or both partners have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), this authoritative book guides troubled partners towards an understanding and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by it, and to integrate ADHD into their relationship in a more positive and less disruptive way. Going beyo ...more
Paperback, 225 pages
Published September 1st 2010 by Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse (first published 2010)
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Donloree Hoffman
Sep 09, 2012 rated it it was amazing
This is the first book I have read on the subject of ADHD where the partner is not the coach, mentor, or helper for the person with ADHD. Melissa clears up so many grey areas for people who are married to someone with ADHD. Halfway through the book I found myself crying because I realized I wasn't alone in my struggle to have a healthy relationship despite the effects of ADHD on our marriage. Sorting out what is ADHD and what is the person was the first step towards success. After reading the bo ...more
Darren Standar
Oct 09, 2011 rated it it was ok
Not bad, as an add-on to solid general books on ADHD (like Dr. Brown's book "Attention Deficit Disorder: the Unfocused Mind") and as a follow-up to Gina Pera's "Is It You, Me, or Adult ADHD?" (which is much more comprehensive in scope and much better written).

Otherwise, best for "ADHD-lite" or those relationships where the partner of the ADHD adult has bigger problems than the ADHD adult.
Dec 07, 2012 rated it it was ok
Interesting stories of various couples. Very depressing book, though. Sounded exactly like every ADHD marriage I know. The author's intent was supposedly to show how great ADHD marriages can become if all parties do their part, but those examples didn't really come through with anywhere near the power and punch of the frustration and despair from the couples wrestling with the problem.
Sep 12, 2012 rated it liked it
All this book really did was tell you to find a doctor that will treat the ADHD and to stop trying to fix your spouse. She could have saved me the time of reading the book by just writing a magazine article with the same information.
May 14, 2012 rated it did not like it
So far, all the ADD type books I have read seem to go on and on about how lazy, stupid, and how terribly irresponsible these "people" are. I find this doesn't describe me at all and so doesn't help me at all. I borrowed this book from my therapist. She says sometimes its helpful to people, but other times its not.
Feb 16, 2013 rated it did not like it

It's easy to be impressed by the insight in the book if it is your first exposure to ADHD in relationships. However, it's also easy to be impressed by a gypsy psychic's insight, and for similar reasons.

The book and Ms. Orlov's website are geared toward the non-ADHD partner pointing the finger at ADHD because it doesn't fit her subjective view of the world. If you want an excuse to end your relationship buy the book and jump onboard the website. Drink the Koolaid and demand the ADHD partner fall
AlohaKarina Chapman
Sep 21, 2014 rated it it was amazing
This book is a marriage saver. Incredible. I learned so much, after reading this week we went to the doctor and hubby was diagnosed. Everything makes so much more sense now, and life has actually become so much easier. We've been married for 24 years, together for 30, so we had a system that worked, but this has helped alleviate a lot of the stress and tension that we were having because things seemed to be getting worse. If you don't know your spouse has ADHD, it makes it very hard to manage a ...more
Dec 06, 2011 rated it it was amazing
This book is amazing. It took me forever to finish it because I kept rereading her words. Her advice on marriage was helpful, but it felt good for someone to acknowledge my feelings with ADHD and marriage. She's been there and was able to share so many of her stories and others which made me feel not so alone and able to better understand my husband. She was able to present the positives and negatives of an ADHD relationship in a professional but personal manner which I really appreciated. I wou ...more
Apr 27, 2011 rated it really liked it
Having just recently figured out WHAT was going on in our relationship...this book was like a breath of fresh air. It was as if it was written specifically TO ME about our marriage. It's helped me view ADHD in a new light and explained alot about what was going on. Now I'm ready to try the strategies she suggests in the book. And I feel hopeful :-)
Nov 14, 2016 rated it it was ok
I felt like this book was more aimed at traditional type marriages struggling where the man is the one with the ADHD and the woman has to take care of everything. I think it might be helpful for those types of situations but I was looking for more of an advice guide when the woman has ADHD and also hyperfocuses on family and home things. So it wasn't great for me but it might be for others.
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