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Please Look After Mom

Shin Kyung-sook,

Chi-Young Kim (Translator)

3.82 · Rating details · 26,313 ratings · 4,598 reviews

An international sensation and a bestseller that has sold over 1.5 million copies author's Korea, Please Look After Mom is a stunning, deeply moving story of a family's search for their missing mother - and their discovery of the desires, heartaches and secrets they never realized she harbored within.

When sixty-nine year old So-nyo is separated from her husband among the c ...more

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Hardcover, 237 pages

Published April 5th 2011 by Knopf (first published November 5th 2008)

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Please Look After Mom by Shin Kyung-sook

When My Name Was Keoko by Linda Sue Park

The Calligrapher's Daughter by Eugenia Kim

Fiction by Korean Authors and/or Containing Korean Characters

333 books — 342 voters

Korean literature in English (fiction and nonfiction)

189 books — 144 voters

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Aug 10, 2019 JV (semi-hiatus) rated it liked it

Shelves: 2019, contemporary, asian-lit

"How far back does one’s memory of someone go? Your memory of Mom?"

An international bestseller, Please Look After Mom is a melancholic read that chronicles the life of a loving, selfless mother marred with sacrifice, poverty, sadness, and loneliness. When sixty-nine-year-old Park So-nyo went missing in Seoul Subway Station, her family's desperate attempt to find her leads them towards questioning their own notion about how well they know "Mom". Told from four different perspectives, each showing the vulnerabilities and conscience of the characters, Kyung-sook provides an insightful look at Korean culture and family dynamics whilst exploring universal themes such as tradition, yearning, familial love, duties and responsibilities, and above all, motherhood. Like memories that ebb and flow, these four narratives take us into a journey down memory lane — unearthing the pieces that was once lost in the past and conjuring them to form an intricate puzzle that reminds us of "Mom", "Dad", or the ones we hold dear in our heart.

"How unfair is it that all she did was sacrifice everything for us, and she wasn’t understood by anyone?"

This book is a sheer reminder to appreciate, look after the ones we truly love, and to never ever take anyone for granted. Sometimes, it's the smallest gesture, the minuscule ones, or even the irrelevant things that bring someone glee, laughter, or even a smile to their faces. It's the little things that count the most. One might think that you know your mother well, but if you dig deeper, you'll realise that your Mum is an individual too with all her perks, quirks, and painful experiences. The narrative is quite an odd one as it is mostly told in the second person, which one might find confusing, distracting or frustrating to follow, well, for me, it was all three! It took me quite a bit of time to get involved with the unusual narrative and the slow-moving plot didn't help. My mind began to wander and the story wasn't gripping enough. It leans quite a bit on the schmaltzy side, so that might put some readers off. However, for those who like reading family dramas with a little bit of mystery, this might be your cup of tea.

"Life is sometimes amazingly fragile, but some lives are frighteningly strong."

...more

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Apr 08, 2011 Ruthie Jones rated it it was amazing

Shelves: wip-comps, nook-book

Powerful and unforgettable! I actually believe this book has changed me or at least opened my eyes to my own level of participation (and shortcomings) in my relationships.

This amazing story will rip you to shreds and force you to face difficult questions about your own relationships--not just with your mom but with all those people who claim a piece of your life and heart: "Who are these people who love me so much?" "Why do I take their very existence for granted?" "Do any of these people really ...more

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Jun 30, 2011 Jordan Ferguson rated it it was ok

This is not the sort of book I read, and I’d be lying if I said the Korean name on the cover didn’t play a part in getting me to crack the spine; I tend to give passes to stories I think are lame when they come from Asian countries, it’s just where my own cultural preferences lie. Even still the story, about a family dealing with the disappearance of their mother in a Seoul subway station, would normally have been a little too ‘old lady book club’ for me. But one detail of the plot, a minor poin This is not the sort of book I read, and I’d be lying if I said the Korean name on the cover didn’t play a part in getting me to crack the spine; I tend to give passes to stories I think are lame when they come from Asian countries, it’s just where my own cultural preferences lie. Even still the story, about a family dealing with the disappearance of their mother in a Seoul subway station, would normally have been a little too ‘old lady book club’ for me. But one detail of the plot, a minor point highlighted on the jacket description, pulled me in: as the family gathers to make missing person flyers to distribute, the missing mother’s children realize they have no recent photos of her. How heartbreaking is that?

So that little detail got me in the door, since so much of my own [never finished] creative work is concerned with our inability to ever really know another person, and whether that deficiency is really a deficiency at all, or instead an impossible standard we’ve all been convinced to aspire to? PLAM deals with these concerns by the shovelful, as the other family members look back on their relationship with their mother/wife, re-examining shared moments under the colored light cast by her absence.

Shin’s big gamble with the book is her narrative technique, primarily telling the story through second-person voice [when your mother disappeared, you stood outside the station and handed out flyers with your brother and his wife]. It’s a risky move, creative writing teachers usually brandish flaming swords to discourage students from using due to the difficulty in maintaining consistency, but Shin keeps it engaging about 75 per cent of the time.

But 75 per cent is not 100 per cent [I rock math!] and unfortunately the book suffers from its shifting perspectives. Similar to Egan’s ‘Visit From the Goon Squad,’ the problem with the shifting voices is if you like one narrator, you might not ever hear them again. This isn’t as much of a deficiency in PLAM as in ‘Goon Squad,’ only because none of the narrators are that exceptional: I probably preferred the writer daughter to the oldest son, but neither of them are exactly vivd or colorful, a fact I might attribute to the somewhat flat prose of Asian authors when translated to English.

PLAM isn’t a bad book, by any means, but I think it might have more to say about the mother/daughter relationship than the mother/son. Ultimately, it’s a book about the moment when children start to see their parents as individuals, something other than ‘Mom’ or ‘Dad.’ It’s a story worth telling, but I think it would have resonated better with me in a story written by an native English speaker. There were many times, moments related to Korean holidays or family memorial altars, where the significance just whooshed past my head, and despite it’s book club-friendly subject matter, I can see it being a hard sell to those members of my clientele. The prose lacks the florid prose that typically fills such books. And that’s a shame, since I think there’s a lot that crowd could get out of it, but they’re a stubborn bunch in my experience.

All in all, the book’s a fine introduction to a new voice from a place we don’t hear very much from in North America, and the push the book seems to be getting would suggest Kyung-Sook Shin is an author we’ll be hearing from for a few more books yet. ...more

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Feb 19, 2012 Elaine rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2012

Wow, that was bizarre and bad. What starts out as an interesting family novel turns into an extended hagiography of "Mom", a woman so amazingly selfless and nurturing that puppies, ducklings, fields and orphans spring into worshipful life around her -- only her callous children and faithless husband don't see the value of this woman, who secretly feeds the poor, delivers the baby of a man who stole from her, sleeps in the cold, and donates her old-age mite to orphans. She is so selfless that -- Wow, that was bizarre and bad. What starts out as an interesting family novel turns into an extended hagiography of "Mom", a woman so amazingly selfless and nurturing that puppies, ducklings, fields and orphans spring into worshipful life around her -- only her callous children and faithless husband don't see the value of this woman, who secretly feeds the poor, delivers the baby of a man who stole from her, sleeps in the cold, and donates her old-age mite to orphans. She is so selfless that -- despite being plagued (literally) by a host of illnesses from mysterious stomach trouble to cancer to (apparently) Alzheimer's -- she never even agrees to take medicine or go to the hospital. She is Super-Mom, the epitome of "never mind, I'll just sit in the dark", and so annoyingly perfect and cloyingly abject that if she were your Mom, you'd be speaking as sharply to her as her children and husband do. But never fear, in Shin's world, these children will rue for eternity those sharp words. Even the perfect 2nd daughter is racked by endless guilt and wants to stick her head in a dirt hole b/c she failed to plant a persimmon tree in the spot that Mom told her to (really).

Speaking of the 2nd daughter, one of the most gratingly retrograde and black/white aspects of this book is that the only person in the family who is kind to Mom (so kind she buys her a mink coat with her first paycheck!) is the 2nd daughter, a stay-at-home Mom to 3 children, so selfless in her own right that she wears mis-matched socks and collapses in motherly exhaustion. This book does not deal in nuance! By contrast, the careerist, not-married, older daughter is -- you guessed it -- mean to Mom, and Dad!, drinks too much, and therefore is to blame for most things in the world.

A final complaint -- and in a book so thematically irksome, this is really trivia -- the family structure and timeline do not hold together. There are supposedly 5 children, but the two younger sons are almost invisible and the repeated depictions of family life when the protganists are children never involve the younger children. The eldest son is said to be over 50, yet the eldest daughter (the middle child of the 5) is said to be in her thirties -- this could work, except that they are repeatedly described as being young children together. Similarly, the elder and younger daughter are apparently close in age, but the childhood scenes never involve any interaction between the sisters. When the three oldest have moved to Seoul, Mom is described as having nothing to live for back in the countryside, which is odd as presumably she had two young children back at home. This just seems sloppy in the extreme.

So why two stars and not just one? Well, I did enjoy learning a bit about life in the Korean countryside. Especially the loving descriptions of meals -- I always enjoy those. ...more

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Jan 31, 2019 Monica Kim: Reader in Emerald City rated it really liked it

Shelves: 2019

**spoiler towards the end!
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I have so many dreams of my own, and I remember things from my childhood, from when I was a girl and a young woman, and I haven't forgotten a thing. So why did we think of Mom as a mom from the very beginning? She didn't have the opportunity to pursue her dreams, and all by herself, faced everything the era dealt her, poverty and sadness, and she couldn't do anything about her very bad lot in life other than suffer through it and get beyond it and live her life to th **spoiler towards the end!
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I have so many dreams of my own, and I remember things from my childhood, from when I was a girl and a young woman, and I haven't forgotten a thing. So why did we think of Mom as a mom from the very beginning? She didn't have the opportunity to pursue her dreams, and all by herself, faced everything the era dealt her, poverty and sadness, and she couldn't do anything about her very bad lot in life other than suffer through it and get beyond it and live her life to the very best of her ability, giving her body and her heart to it completely. Why did I never give a thought to Mom's dreams?— Kyung-Sook Shin, Please Look After Mom
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Kyung Sook Shin’s “Please Look After Mom,” winner of The Man Asian Literary Prize was a deeply affecting, tear-jerker read. I cried so hard reading this book, I do not recommend you read it in public and make sure you have a box of tissue handy. Simple in prose, it wasn’t necessary that the writing in itself was good, but what the book was about that made the novel good. Although set in South Korea, this book will undoubtedly resonate with many people because of its universal theme — family, motherhood, love & loss, tradition, and familial obligations & duties. I think that is why the novel did so well worldwide.
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This novel brought back of some of my fondest childhood memories of growing up in a rural countryside in Korea. It’s so hard to believe that I used to live exactly like the rural life described in the book. I kept thinking of my parents, especially my mom as I read the novel. I briefly mentioned about my parents in another review, but both of my parents had rough childhoods. Especially my dad who has been on his own since 9, working at various temples to have a place to stay doing all kinds of odd errands & jobs. Then they got married & had twins at a young age and have been just working to have the ends meet, eventually bringing our family to America. They never really had the opportunities to pursue their dreams or go to school, they had to work & raise a young family. I love my parents and forever grateful & indebted for their love, sacrifices, and support. I could not imagine my life without my parents and hope they live a long, healthy life. I hope that I can be a good daughter to them and make up for all the troubles I caused, but that’s for another time, lol...
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simple in prose & bit slow burner, but deeply affecting & poignant and well-observed family dynamic & Korean culture, the novel is told in 2nd person narrative by four voices — daughter, son, father, and mother, after Sixty-nine-year-old So-nyo (mother) got separated from her husband among the crowds of the Seoul subway station. They were on their way to visit their children from the countryside, and told the kids they’ll find their way to the eldest son’s house on their own because none of them could meet them at the station. What follows is each character’s heartbreaking confession, guilt, misinterpretation, miscommunication, and frustration — not picking up their parents at the station, reflecting back on the sacrifices the mom/wife made for the family, not being a better daughter/son/husband, not acting on what mom asked or not to do, and ultimately, not knowing who mom really was.
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We don’t get to find out where mom is at the end, that broke me, and left me bit frustrated. But I have a bunch based on mom’s confession. I think author left that part out on purpose because it’s the stories that are the focus of the book. Oh my goodness, the dad’s section really tore me up! And mom’s secret, oh my god, heartbreaking! Highly recommend this hauntingly beautiful, yet sad, moving novel. 😭✌️📖 ...more

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Mar 28, 2011 Karen Ng rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: aging, asia, translated, korea-korean-literature, powerful-narrative-poignant

Wow....wait, I need to capitalize this: WOW...This story took me through an emotional roller coaster that reminded me of all my personal shortcomings in the relationship department with my own family and my Mom. The last time I was this wrecked was when my father passed away of cancer 2 years ago.

The story begins when the 70-year old mother of a family disappears from a Seoul train station. The family, 5 grown children and her husband, is desperate to find her and yet, on the other hand, are bla Wow....wait, I need to capitalize this: WOW...This story took me through an emotional roller coaster that reminded me of all my personal shortcomings in the relationship department with my own family and my Mom. The last time I was this wrecked was when my father passed away of cancer 2 years ago.

The story begins when the 70-year old mother of a family disappears from a Seoul train station. The family, 5 grown children and her husband, is desperate to find her and yet, on the other hand, are blaming themselves and each other for not spending more time or paying more attention to her. The book is divided into 4 major sections with 4 narrative voices: the oldest daughter, the oldest son, the husband and the mom herself, with a shorter epilogue again narrated by the oldest daughter. A second person narration is heavily used in the book..in all except for the personal narration of Mom. It takes a little getting used to but then ultimately one would start to identify with the voice:

"You were the one who always hung up first. You would say, "Mom, I'll call you back," and then you didn't. You didn't have time to sit and listen to everything your Mom had to say..."

"Mom was the kitchen and the kitchen was Mom. You never wondered, did Mom like being in the kitchen?"

As the story unfolds with each person's narration, we understand a little more about Mom, her love for all, her everyday life, her relationship with each of her children, her relationship with her husband and her husband's demanding older sister. We come to know that her children and her husband know very little of her, except that she was always there for them, taking care of them. When Mom's voice starts narrating at the end, we get the complete picture, almost...

It's no coincidence that the Korean word for "death" is a homonym for the number 4 (same in Chinese). This is a very sad story to read, yet I can't stop reading, especially toward the end. The translation is great, leaving Shin's original writing style unchanged. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who loves his/her Mom. ...more

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Jan 03, 2020 Ahmad Sharabiani rated it really liked it

Shelves: asia, fiction, 21th-century, literature, korean, adult, novels

Please Look After Mom, Shin Kyung-sook
When sixty-nine-year-old So-Nyo is separated from her husband among the crowds of the Seoul subway station, her family begins a desperate search to find her. Yet as long-held secrets and private sorrows begin to reveal themselves, they are forced to wonder: how well did they actually know the woman they called Mom? The novel explores the loss, self-recrimination, and in some cases, self-discovery caused by the mother's disappearance. The novel also considers Please Look After Mom, Shin Kyung-sook
When sixty-nine-year-old So-Nyo is separated from her husband among the crowds of the Seoul subway station, her family begins a desperate search to find her. Yet as long-held secrets and private sorrows begin to reveal themselves, they are forced to wonder: how well did they actually know the woman they called Mom? The novel explores the loss, self-recrimination, and in some cases, self-discovery caused by the mother's disappearance. The novel also considers themes related to the self-sacrifice of mothers in general (and in Korean in particular), the relationship between memories of the past and realities of the present, and the chameleonic aspects of identity.

عنوانها: ‏‫مادر‮‬م را به تو می‌سپارم؛ لطفا مراقب مامان باشین؛ نویسنده: شین‌کیونگ سوک؛ تاریخ نخستین خوانش: روز چهارم ماه ژانویه سال 2014 میلادی

عنوان: ‏‫مادر‮‬م را به تو می‌سپارم؛ نویسنده: شین‌کیونگ سوک؛ مترجم: علی‌اکبر قاضی‌زاده؛ تهران: کتابسرای تندیس؛ 1392؛ در 246 ص؛ شابک: 9786001820908؛ موضوع: داستانهای نویسندگان کره جنوبی - سده 21 م

عنوان: لطفا مراقب مامان باشین؛ نویسنده: شین کیونگ سوک (کیونگ سوک‌شین)؛ مترجم: مهدی سجودی‌مقدم؛ تهران: مهر اندیش‏‫‬، 1397؛ در 293 ص؛ شابک: 9786006395371؛

هنگامیکه سو-نیو شصت و نه ساله در ایستگاه متروی سئول از همسرش جدا شد؛ خانواده ی وی جستجوی ناامیدانه ای را برای یافتن او آغاز کردند؛ و...؛ نقل از متن لطفا مراقب مامان باشین: (1 - هیچکس نمیداند: یک هفته است که مامان گم شده. خانواده جمع شده اند در خانه ی برادر بزرگ ترت، هیونگ ـ چول، نظراتشان را روی هم میریزند. تصمیم میگیرند آگهی درست کنند و در آخرین جاهایی که مادر رفته، پخش کنند. اولین چیزی که باید انجام داد، هر کسی هم در آن اتفاق نظر دارد، این است که متن آگهی تهیه شود. البته آگهی یک اقدام مرسومِ قدیمی در گرفتاریهایی از این دست است. اما معمولاً خانواده یک شخص گم شده اقدامات کمی را میتوانند انجام بدهند؛ حتی وقتی شخص گم شده کسی نباشد جز مادرتان. همه ی کاری که میتوانید انجام دهید این است که گم شدنش را گزارش کنید، منطقه را بگردید، و از رهگذرها بپرسید که آیا کسی را شبیه او دیده اند یا نه. برادر کوچک ترت، که یک لباس فروشیِ آنلاین دارد، میگوید که چیزهایی درباره گم شدن مادر در نِت پُست کرده، شرح داده که کجا گم شده؛ عکسش را گذاشته و از مردم خواسته اگر کسی او را دیده، با خانواده تماس بگیرد. تو میخواهی جاهایی را که حدس میزنی رفته باشد، دنبالش بگردی، اما تو که میدانی او چطور است: تنهایی نمیتواند در این شهر جایی برود. هیونگ ـ چول نوشتن آگهی را به عهده تو میگذارد، چون که تو کارت نوشتن است. شرمنده میشوی، انگار داری کاری را انجام میدهی که از عهده اش برنمیآیی. مطمئن نیستی که نوشته ات چقدر میتواند در پیدا کردن مادر موثر باشد. وقتی تاریخ تولد مامان را مینویسی 24 ژوئیه، 1938، پدرت آن را تصحیح میکند، میگوید که او در 1936 دنیا آمده. ثبت رسمی میگوید که در 1938 متولد شده، اما ظاهراً در 1936 متولد شده. اولین بار است که چنین چیزی را میشنوی. پدرت میگوید آن وقتها همه اینکار را میکردند. چرا که خیلی از بچه ها بیشتر از همان سه ماهه اول تولدشان دوام نمیآوردند، مردم تا زمانی که ثبت رسمی شوند، چند سالی همانطور سر میکردند. بعد وقتی میخواستی ازنو به جای «38» بنویسی «36»، هیونگ ـ چول میگوید که باید بنویسی 1938، چون که تاریخ رسمی همان است. تو فکر نمیکنی وقتی داری فقط یک آگهی خانگی درست میکنی، چنین دقتی ضروری باشد و مثل آن نیست که در یک اداره دولتی باشی. اما از سرِ حرف شنوی مینویسی «38»، درحالیکه هنوز تردید داری 24 ژوئیه هم حتی تاریخ تولد واقعی باشد. چند سال پیش مادر گفت: «ما مجبور نیستیم تولدم رو جداگانه جشن بگیریم.» تولد بابا یک ماه قبل از تولد مامان است. تو و خواهر برادرهایت معمولاً برای تولدها و مراسم دیگر میرفتید به خانه پدر و مادرتان در چونگاپ. در مجموع اعضای درجه اول خانواده بیست ودو نفر میشدید. مامان این را دوست داشت وقتی که همه بچه ها و نوه ها جمع میشند و توی خانه سروصدا راه میانداختند. از چند روز قبل که بچه ها برسند، مامان باید کیمچیِ تازه درست میکرد، میرفت فروشگاه تا گوشت گوساله بخرد، و مسواک و خمیردندان اضافه ذخیره کند. روغن کنجد و دانه های بوداده و خام کنجد و پریلا را توی هم میریخت، و به این ترتیب میتوانست به هرکدام از بچه ها، موقع رفتن، یک کوزه از آن بدهد. درحالی که منتظر بود تا خانواده برسند، به وضوح در جنب و جوش بود، وقتی با همسایه ها و آشنایان حرف میزد، حرفها و رفتارهایش غرور و مباهاتش را آشکار میکرد. مامان بطری هایی در اندازه های مختلف را به فصلش از آب آلو یا توت فرنگی وحشی پر میکرد و در انبار نگه میداشت. کوزه های مامان که خیال داشت بفرستد برای فامیل در شهر، تا لبِ لب پر بودند از ماهی شوریده قرمه شده کوچک یا پوره ماهی کولی یا گوشت صدفِ قرمه شده. وقتی شنید که پیاز برای سلامتی آدم خوب است، آب پیاز هم میگرفت، و قبل از رسیدن زمستان هم آب کدوتنبل را با شیرین بیان دم میکرد. خانه مادرت مثل یک کارخانه بود؛ انواع سسها و پوره ی حبوبات و سبوس برنج را درست میکرد، و مصرف یک سال خانواده را تدارک میدید. از آنجاییکه بچه ها به ندرت میرفتند به چونگاپ، این مامان و بابا بودند که میآمدند به سئول. و تولد هرکدامشان را با شام در بیرون جشن میگرفتید. البته مامان میگفت: «جشن تولد منو با جشن تولد پدرتون بگیرید.» میگفت از آنجایی که تولد هردوی آنها توی تابستان داغ است، و ضمناً فقط دو روز بعدش مراسم آباواجدادی دارند، جشن تولد جداگانه برایشان گرفتن زحمتی برای آنها خواهد بود. اوایل، خانواده از پذیرش چنین چیزی امتناع میکرد، اما موقعیکه با اصرار مامان روبرو شدند، و مامان از آمدن به شهر هم خودداری کرد، چندتایی از شما رفتید خانه اش که با او جشن بگیرید. بعد همگی شروع کردید به اینکه هدیه تولد مامان را در روز تولد بابا به او بدهید. و سرانجام، به طور کامل، روز تولد واقعیِ مامان کنار گذاشته شد. مامان، که خودش دوست داشت برای هرکسی در خانواده جوراب بخرد، توی کمدش یک عالمه جوراب داشت که بچه هایش دیگر نمیبردند و همین طور هم اضافه میشد
نام: پارک سوـ نیو
تاریخ تولد: 24 ژوئیه 1938 - 69 ساله؛
مشخصات ظاهری: کوتاه قد، موهای فردارِ فلفل نمکی، گونه های استخوانیِ برجسته، آخرین بار با پیراهن آبی آسمانی، ژاکت سفید، و دامن پلیسه دار بژ آخرین محلی که دیده شده: ایستگاه متروی سئول)؛ پایان نقل از متن. ا. شربیانی ...more

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Mar 21, 2011 Jill rated it it was amazing

Shelves: asian-literature, best-of-2011

Those who have traveled in Southeast Asia – and Korea in particular -- will know right away that the number 4 (pinyin sì) is considered unlucky because it sounds like “death” (pinyin sǐ). Why, then, did Korean author Kyung-sook Shin carefully craft a novel from four different viewpoints?

The answer is that the members of this family are unlucky, or at the very least, careless. Through years as a family, none of them ever really knew Mom or understood the sources of her strength. And now she has d Those who have traveled in Southeast Asia – and Korea in particular -- will know right away that the number 4 (pinyin sì) is considered unlucky because it sounds like “death” (pinyin sǐ). Why, then, did Korean author Kyung-sook Shin carefully craft a novel from four different viewpoints?

The answer is that the members of this family are unlucky, or at the very least, careless. Through years as a family, none of them ever really knew Mom or understood the sources of her strength. And now she has disappeared in a crowded Seoul subway station, where she and her husband of 50 years were about to board a train. Her disappearance devastates those who are left behind.

The story is told from four alternating points of view: Chi-hon, the oldest daughter and a successful novelist, Hyung-chol, the oldest son who is wracked with guilt for not living up to his potential, her husband who inevitably disappointed Mom through his selfishness and adultery, and last of all, Mom. Little by little, a fuller image of Mom emerges, although we, the readers, never really get to know all the facets of Mom either.

Chi-hon reflects, “Either a mother and daughter know each other very well, or they are strangers…You realized you’d become a stranger as you watched Mom try to conceal her messy everyday life.” As Chi-hon strives to sort out who her Mom really was, she realizes that, “…because of one thing or another you would push calling her to the end of your list.” Mom had become superfluous in her busy life, a solid presence who was always a little bit of an enigma.

Hyung-chol was the favored son who was both idolized and pressured. In the end though, he could not live up to Mom’s aspirations and dreams for him. “Mom’s disappearance was triggering events in his memory moments, like the maple-leaf doors, he thought he’d forgotten about.”

The two adult children – and their father – realize, too late, that Mom was an integral part of existence. Father thinks, “When she planted seedlings of eggplant, purple eggplants hung everywhere throughout the summer and into the fall. Anything she touched grew in bounty.” Still, he selfishly ignores her intense headaches and the heartbreaks that Mom is forced to undergo alone.

When we get to Mom’s story, we learn some of the background – her arranged marriage, for instance, and a few of the secrets she keeps. But it’s left to Chi-hon to recognize the truth in a letter from her younger sister, “Do you remember asking me a little while ago to tell you something I knew about Mom? All I knew was that Mom’s missing. It’s the same now. I especially don’t know where her strength came from. Think about it. Mom did things that one person couldn’t do by herself. I think that’s why she became emptier and emptier.”

Please Look After Mom is a novel that’s distinctly Korean –ancestral-rite tables, the Full Moon Harvest, plum juice and steamed skate – but is also very universal. Every view is explored – Chi-hon and Father’s stories are in second person, Hyung-chol’s is in third person and Mom’s is in first person. And, while the second person tense can become a little cumbersome, the writing is still direct, moving, and graceful.

It’s worth noting that Kyung-sook Shin is already a prominent novelist in Korea; the book sold nearly one and a half million copies in South Korea. Translated expertly by Chi-Young Kim, the book is certain to make readers appreciate the hardworking, uncomplaining women who go by the simple endearment “Mom.”

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Jul 14, 2011 Clare Cannon rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: adults

A beautiful story about the small but heroic sacrifices made by a Korean mother for her family, and the lack of recognition her family gave her until the day she goes missing on the city subway.

The second person narratives - while a little disconcerting at times - allow each of her children, her husband, and finally the mother herself to share their own experience of her disappearance, and the memories it recalls about their lives before.

The mood is sombre, reflective, and would be heavy if ...more

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Aug 11, 2018 Helly rated it it was amazing

Well, the first thing I did after reading this book is ask my parents to go and get their full body medical checkup. It is quite terrible how we tend to neglect the people who invest their life and money on us and by the time the realisation Dawns upon us, it is too late.

Shin's novel speaks to the reader from the second person narrative, reminding her/him how all of us are in the same place and still have a chance to rectify our mistakes while there is time.

Highly urge you to read this and make ...more

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Jan 23, 2019 April (Aprilius Maximus) added it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2019, dnf

DNF at 50% - Honestly just couldn't get into it :(

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May 03, 2011 Aldrin rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Oskar Schell, the lead character in Jonathan Safran Foer's 2005 novel, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, uses a rather quaint metaphor to describe something that makes him feel sad: "heavy boots," as in, "I desperately wish I had my tambourine with me now, because even after everything I'm still wearing heavy boots, and sometimes it helps to play a good beat," "It gave me heavy boots that she had nightmares, because I didn't know what she was dreaming about and there was nothing I could do to Oskar Schell, the lead character in Jonathan Safran Foer's 2005 novel, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, uses a rather quaint metaphor to describe something that makes him feel sad: "heavy boots," as in, "I desperately wish I had my tambourine with me now, because even after everything I'm still wearing heavy boots, and sometimes it helps to play a good beat," "It gave me heavy boots that she had nightmares, because I didn't know what she was dreaming about and there was nothing I could do to help her," and "I got incredibly heavy boots about how relatively insignificant life is, and how compared to the universe and compared to time, it didn't matter if I existed at all." If Oskar were to read Please Look After Mom, the English language debut by South Korean author Kyung-sook Shin, with all its sentences weighed down by multiple characters' if-onlys and should-haves, he would no doubt have pairs and pairs of heavy boots to last him a season or two.

Incidentally, what frequently supports Please Look After Mom's penchant for supplying its reader with Safran Foeresque leaden ankle-high shoes is a different sort of footwear: blue plastic sandals, as in, "[M]om was wearing blue plastic sandals, one of which was cutting into her foot near her big toe, and a piece of flesh has fallen off, creating a groove, perhaps because she'd walked so far." After being left behind on a subway platform in Seoul, the missing title character has since been seen by people in various places, walking seemingly aimlessly in her injurious slippers.

The curious thing about the blue plastic sandals is that they weren't the articles covering Mom's feet when she went missing. They were, however, the shoes she was in years ago when she traveled from the countryside to the city in the middle of winter to personally deliver an urgent requirement for her son's law school application. It was just one of Mom's countless acts of selflessness, just one of the many remembrances her husband and children realize too late now that they can only wait and look for Mom, lost, possibly gone.

Please Look After Mom is at once a portrait of motherhood and a diorama of nuclear family dynamics certainly not exclusive to Korean culture. This combined picture is assembled from the distinct perspectives of daughter, son, husband, and Mom. Mom's disappearance opens a floodgate of memories about the absent matriarch, and these recollections and belated observations are all too often coupled with the most piercing of regrets.

The elder of two daughters, an accomplished novelist, regrets her mostly arctic disposition towards her mother. The eldest son, a successful real estate agent, regrets falling short in his promise to his mother to be a successful prosecutor. The husband and father regrets all but ignoring his wife and mother to his five children. The mother herself, in the novel's devastating, if muddled, conclusion, owns up to her own shortcomings, not the least of which are her being illiterate and her hidden relationship with another man. Wading through their grandly sentimental confessionals, rendered in shifting narrative vantage points and voices presumably to underscore each of the central characters' image of a steadfast, affectionate, and long-suffering woman, can be painful or cloying or both.

It can also be eye-opening. The book's epigraph is appropriately a dictum from a Franz Liszt nocturne: "O love, so long as you can love." And one of its less teary lines is an affirmation: "Life is sometimes amazingly fragile, but some lives are frighteningly strong." It can be enlightening, and it can lead one to think even better of that singular person who can make one's heavy boots lighter.

—
Originally posted on Fully Booked .Me.

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May 06, 2019 Syndi rated it liked it · review of another edition

This is a very depressing read. When the mother went missing, none that closed to her, her family, knows basic information about her. Birth date, picture, what the mother likes, her habit. And what most important her loneliness inside her heart. The children taking her for granted, husband who is too timid to express his love and devotion.

I don not like the writing. Its too much description that I found annoying.
Well I never think I would say this when I finish reading it: I am glad I finish t ...more

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May 10, 2011 Laura rated it liked it

Shelves: fiction, book-club

An elderly woman, in poor health, disappears in Seoul and her family tries to find her. As they do so, the reader learns about her life and the sacrifices she made for her husband and children.

I would have liked this book a lot better if it had dispensed with the moralizing. The narrative itself held my attention, and the book would have been interesting as a simple family portrait. But I felt browbeaten while reading it, as though the author were constantly wagging her finger at me for failing ...more

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Jul 03, 2020 Lisa (Remarkablylisa) rated it really liked it

Shelves: july-2020, asian-books

I really enjoyed reading all the different perspectives of this book and seeing how the one person in the family that gave up so much to take care of everyone. It's really good for immigrant children to learn perspectives and feelings of others.

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Jun 08, 2017 Book Concierge rated it liked it

Shelves: audio, family, korea, library, strong-women, concierge

Translated by Chi-Young Kim
Book on CD read by: Mark Bramhall, Janet Song, Samantha Quan, and Bruce Turk

From the book jacket: A million-plus-copy best seller in Korea – this is the stunning, deeply moving story of a family’s search for their mother, who goes missing one afternoon amid the crowds of the Seoul Station subway.

My reactions
I enjoy reading fiction from and about different cultures. Shin’s work gives the reader some insight into contemporary Korean life, but it was missing something fo ...more

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May 12, 2013 Mizuki rated it it was ok

I really, really don't like this book.

Although I don't mean to say it's a badly written book, it isn't. But I dislike how the author sets up this Mother character as some sort of 'ideal mother'---she is tireless, selfless, all-giving, she puts her family above her own self, she never complained even when FOR YEARS no one appreciated her sacrifice, her whole life is nothing but taking care of her husband and her family.

Over and over and over I was told how GREAT this mother is, how everyone came ...more

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Aug 31, 2017 Jenna Kathleen rated it it was ok · review of another edition

Shelves: korean-authors

I'm having a hard time deciding if I actually liked this book or not. It's not the type of book I'd typically pick up, but I'm trying to make a point of reading more Korean authors (even if I'm just reading the English version for now) since I moved here.

The story is told from four different perspectives, three of which are told in the second person. Anyone who knows what I like to read knows I have a lot of issues with second person narratives. I find them distracting and difficult to read. I f ...more

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Dec 11, 2018 Ana rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: contemporary, favorites, read-in-2018, in-translation

Reading Women Challenge 2018
#23. The book that has been on your TBR the longest

Since both my physical and my virtual TBRs are an ever-changing mess, I went to the surest place to find the book that’s been there the longest: my Kindle!

“Either a mother and daughter know each other very well, or they are strangers.”

I don’t know what I would have thought about it, had I read it five years ago, when it was sent to me by a friend. It is one of those books that has a different meaning depending on whe ...more

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May 09, 2018 MaryG2E rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: z-2018-alphabetical, z-2018-ar-a-z-chlg, book-club-title

This book caused me some heartache. It deals with many social themes, including those relating to family, duty, honour and integrity, and I found some of the narrative elements quite confrontational.

In this book Mother is a product of the traditional rural society of the Korean countryside, whereas her adult children are very much rooted in modern city life. Because her husband and children are preoccupied with their own ambitions and pursuits, they fail to see the deterioration in Mother's heal This book caused me some heartache. It deals with many social themes, including those relating to family, duty, honour and integrity, and I found some of the narrative elements quite confrontational.

In this book Mother is a product of the traditional rural society of the Korean countryside, whereas her adult children are very much rooted in modern city life. Because her husband and children are preoccupied with their own ambitions and pursuits, they fail to see the deterioration in Mother's health and well-being, until that fateful day when she goes missing from Seoul's central railway station. Only in her inexplicable absence do they come to realise the special qualities and selflessness of Mother.

It took me a little while to get used to the second person voice, used in some chapters, but overall I appreciated Shin Kong-sook's spare, elegant prose. The gradual way in which the life story of Mother unfolds is insightful but also emotionally draining at times. There are some revelations that left me feeling tearful, at others I was angry. Certainly this story is adept at manipulating the emotions of the reader. At one stage I wondered if Mother was a metaphor as much as a person, a symbol for the disappearance of traditional culture and spiritual values.

There were some moments in the reading when I got quite frustrated with Mother. Why was she such a self-sacrificing doormat? If she made more demands on her family, instead of being so self-effacing, would they have noticed her problems earlier? I needed to remind myself that this book originated in a society quite different from my own, and that I might be projecting onto Mother the prevailing sentiment of my own Western society in which we are held to be personally responsible for our own actions and emotional well-being.

I think it gives an interesting insight into Korean society and culture, particularly at a time when the traditional lifestyle is under challenge from modernisation. I enjoy reading books set in non-Anglo cultures, as the comparisons force me to reflect on what my own social norms and cultural values actually are. I read this novel for my local book club, and can attest that the story provoked a long, wide-ranging and fascinating discussion. Most participants reported that they were deeply moved by it in some way. It caused them to reflect on their own relationships with their mothers and children also.

In the immortal words of Joni Mitchell, "don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you've got til it's gone..." ...more

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Apr 22, 2018 Kirsty rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: around-the-world-in-80-books-2018, favourites, april-2018

I chose to read Kyung-Sook Shin's novel, Please Look After Mother, for the South Korea stop on my Around the World in 80 Books challenge. Please Look After Mother has sold almost 1.5 million copies in South Korea alone since its publication in 2009; the author is one of the country's most widely read and acclaimed novelists, and has won many literary prizes throughout her career. The book was a highly anticipated one for me, and I was so looking forward to getting to it. The English translation, I chose to read Kyung-Sook Shin's novel, Please Look After Mother, for the South Korea stop on my Around the World in 80 Books challenge. Please Look After Mother has sold almost 1.5 million copies in South Korea alone since its publication in 2009; the author is one of the country's most widely read and acclaimed novelists, and has won many literary prizes throughout her career. The book was a highly anticipated one for me, and I was so looking forward to getting to it. The English translation, published in 2011, has been masterfully handled by Chi-young Kim.

The reviews on the book's cover piqued my interest even further, it must be said. Edwige Danticat writes that it is 'Cleverly structured and brimming with secrets and revelations', and Geraldine Brooks that 'Shin penetrates the very essence of what it means to be a family, and a human being.'

Please Look After Mother tells the story of Park So-nyo, a wife and mother, who has 'lived a life of sacrifice'. She is recovering from an earlier stroke, which has left her 'vulnerable and often confused'. She and her husband decide to travel from their countryside home to Seoul, to visit their grown-up children. At the central train station, she becomes separated from her husband when the doors of the busy train close. The family soon begins an enormous search effort for their matriarch, reflecting on everything which she has done in her life for them: 'As her children and husband search the streets, they recall So-nyo's life, and revisit all the things they never told her. Through their piercing voices, we begin to discover the desires, heartaches and secrets she harboured within.'

The novel opens with the following line: 'It's been one week since mother went missing'. Throughout, varied perspectives are used; the voices of her daughter, son, and husband, as well as So-nyo herself have been deftly crafted, as have the second and third person perspectives, the latter of which has been used to oversee various parts of the search. Each of these narrative voices feel effective, particularly that of the second person; we as readers are immediately immersed into the Park family's story, particularly with direct writing such as this: 'You clammed up. You didn't find out about Mother's disappearance until she'd been gone four days. You all blamed each other for Mother going missing, and you all felt wounded.'

So-nyo's complex character is pieced together fragment by fragment. This technique gives a real depth to her, and is a very revealing and effective manner in which to tell such a story. So-nyo's family begin to realise just how important she is to them, and the many ways they have taken advantage of her, or taken her for granted over the years. Their own mistakes, both collective and individual, glare out at them: 'You don't understand why it took you so long to realise something so obvious. To you, Mother was always Mother. It never occurred to you that she had once taken her first step, or had once been three or twelve or twenty years old. Mother was Mother. She was born as Mother. Until you saw her running to your uncle like that, it hadn't dawned on you that she was a human being who harboured the exact same feeling you had for your own brothers, and this realisation led to the awareness that she, too, had had a childhood. From then on, you sometimes thought of Mother as a child, as a girl, as a young woman, as a newly-wed, as a mother who had just given birth to you.'

The family dynamics which are portrayed here, and the ways in which they shift and alter over time, are both fascinating and believable. Shin has given such a lot of thought to the ways in which such a disappearance will impact upon, or change, each member of the Parks; each reaction is different.

Please Look After Mother is rightly described in its blurb as 'compassionate, redemptive and beautifully written'. This absorbing novel tackles an awful lot of important themes, all of which have been translated to the page with such care and consideration. Please Look After Mother is a loving and poignant portrait of a missing woman. The novel is filled with tenderness and affection, but it never crosses the line into sentimentality. Shin's prose is beautiful throughout, and the translation is fluid. Thoughtful and thought-provoking, as well as intense and moving, Please Look After Mother is a novel which I doubt I will ever forget. ...more

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Jun 11, 2011 Walt rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Piercing.

This novel about a Korean family cut and passed through me, stabbing me, penetrating my soul.

Yeah, that's the adjective I want to use, piercing. That word describes my thoughts about PLEASE LOOK AFTER MOM by Kyung-sook Shin.

The novel's story, which recounts interactions and their resulting implications between a husband and his wife and the same with respect to a daughter and son from the same family with their beloved mother, made its way through me. It forced its way into my conscienc Piercing.

This novel about a Korean family cut and passed through me, stabbing me, penetrating my soul.

Yeah, that's the adjective I want to use, piercing. That word describes my thoughts about PLEASE LOOK AFTER MOM by Kyung-sook Shin.

The novel's story, which recounts interactions and their resulting implications between a husband and his wife and the same with respect to a daughter and son from the same family with their beloved mother, made its way through me. It forced its way into my conscience as a son, as a husband, and as a father. I could identify with its characters and their flaws and failings in many ways, even though it was set in a foreign land with people of a different race and milieu than mine. It moved me deeply relative to its characters and story, but at the same time, it made me introspective as to my roles in similar situations in America. Also, it's foreign setting provided entertaining novelties --- for example, ancestral rites, various food dishes and historical sites, and the Full Moon Harvest --- I was unfamiliar with and interested in learning and hearing about.

However, in using "piercing" here, I realize the nature of the word has changed during the later years in my life up until now.

I'm in my sixties, and the way the word "piercing" is used today is different than it was when I was younger. The word "piercing" now has a meaning that predominates in contemporary culture that it didn't have when I was younger, one that doesn't seem nearly as poignant as that older meaning. "Piercing" now often refers to the accommodation for a decoration and/or a modification to a body, usually a person's body. It can include, for instance, tattooing and the making holes to accommodate ear and nose rings and the like. It relates, as I understand it, to body art. So when I use piercing here, I use it in the earlier sense.

I liked how Kyung-sook Shin utilized varying points of view in her depiction of characters' reactions to Mom gone missing. I also liked how the author utilized the less familiar second person in telling the Father's and daughter's stories. I also liked the subtle underlay of faith and its final manifestation in the story arc.

After reading the book, I feel it has touched me and informed me, made my life more interesting and me more introspective because it has cut and passed through me, stabbed me, and penetrated my soul perhaps in a way that younger persons may feel informed by various manifestations of body art they undergo, including piercings and tattoos.

Piercing.

I wrote Time for All Eternity. ...more

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Jan 29, 2020 Brown Girl Reading rated it really liked it · review of another edition

I enjoyed this audiobook despite the author's constant use of the second person. Told from multiple points of view Only seemed to accept the second person when the mother was speaking. The universal theme of the importance of mothers spoke to me. We of believe the family is held to a very high regard in Asian families and this story challenges that, while stressing the importance of mothers in general. Having listened to it on audiobook I highly recommend it. It was read with accuracy throughout ...more

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Feb 03, 2011 Jackie rated it it was amazing

Shelves: work-review-related-reading, 5-star, pleasure-reading

Kyung-sook Shin is a best selling Korean author who is finally in
translation here in the States. And, oh my, how glad I am. Her
writing is mesmerizing, deep and beautiful. She pushes the reader
into the story by literally using referring to "you" as the narrating
character. "You" are looking for your 69 year old mother who
disappeared in a Seoul subway station on the way to a birthday dinner.
Sometimes "you" are the oldest daughter, other times "you" are the
favored son. Sometimes you are looki ...more

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Apr 26, 2011 Laura rated it it was ok

Shelves: audio-books, read-2011, contemporary-fiction, korea

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jan 03, 2017 Lisa rated it really liked it

Shelves: audiobook

"Please Look After Mom" is about a remarkable woman who is virtually invisible to her husband and adult children until she disappears one day in a Seoul subway station. Her absence allows them to see and appreciate her for the first time. This powerful novel about motherhood resonated in a very personal way for me - both as a daughter and mother.

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Jun 23, 2018 Renita D'Silva rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Beautiful and poignant. A book to make you think. One that reminds you not to take your loved ones for granted.

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Sep 07, 2020 Anuradha rated it it was amazing

I cried throughout the book :( So beautiful and devastating :(

Ps. Do not take anyone for granted especially your parents :(

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Jul 24, 2014 Homa Sharifmousavi rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

The setting of the story is in Korea,the countryside where an old couple live and Seoul where their children live.Story starts with their mom missing because she accidentally parted from her husband on the trip they took to Seoul to celebrate their birthdays with their children.As the story goes we start to find out more about Mom and her relationship with her family members and we find out she was suffering from some kind of dementia that made it hard for her to find her way in the city.Each ch The setting of the story is in Korea,the countryside where an old couple live and Seoul where their children live.Story starts with their mom missing because she accidentally parted from her husband on the trip they took to Seoul to celebrate their birthdays with their children.As the story goes we start to find out more about Mom and her relationship with her family members and we find out she was suffering from some kind of dementia that made it hard for her to find her way in the city.Each chapter is told from one person's point of view,oldest daughter,oldest son,father and mom herself.Through their memories and thoughts we begin to understand more about their life,about how mom lived,how she got sick and how little her family knew her.
In two chapters the author uses second-person narrative which I think it's very hard and rare but works perfectly in this book.The second person narrative makes you relate even more to the story,it makes you feel the pain and feelings of the characters more.It's more intimate than the third person narrative in other chapters.It's like their memories are yours,like it's your mom that is missing.
It's only when mom is narrating the story that you understand how lonely she was and how none of her family members knew her.they didn't know her as a person,only as mom,as wife.throughout the book every one calls her mom,wife or sister in law.she's never mentioned by her name until the part when she is talking about a friend,that friend is the only one who says her name "Park So-nyo". Only her friend,the man who helped her bury her dead newborn,called her by name several times.
when I was reading this part I wondered if she loved this man,if she loved her husband and after that I wondered if my mom loved my dad,if my grandmother loved my grandfather.
Although mom did everything for her family she still felt guilty,she always said I'm sorry to her children,I wonder do all mothers feel that guilty?the way she feels guilty makes me angry.I'm angry with her and I'm angry with her children and her husband.(and I think I'm even a little angry with myself)
It's the kind of a story that everyone can relate to,I don't think anyone would hate it but some people might be bored with it because the writing is kind of slow in some parts.
I'm still thinking about it after reading,I have so many vivid pictures of their memories,of their home in my mind.the more you think about it the more you find out about other aspects of the story.
Parts of the book that I liked most are in my status updates.
...more

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May 11, 2011 Gaby rated it it was amazing

Shelves: literary-fiction, must-read, multicultural

I'd read a review of Please Look After Mom in the New York Times. I was very excited to read and review the book when offered the chance through the Amazon Vine program. Written by one of South Korea's most widely read and highly respected authors, this is her first book translated into English.

Please Look After Mom tells the story of Park So-nyo, an elderly mother of five and grandmother, who gets separated from her husband in the subway at Seoul. Her husband and children begin a systematic sea ...more

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About Shin Kyung-sook

Shin Kyung-sook

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Associated Names:
* Shin Kyung-sook
* 신경숙

Kyung-Sook Shin is a South Korean writer. She is the first South Korean and first woman to win the Man Asian Literary Prize in 2012 for 'Please Look After Mom'. ...more

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“You realize that you habitually thought of Mom when something in your life was not going well, because when you thought of her it was as though something got back on track, and you felt re-energized.” — 166 likes

“...I have so many dreams of my own, and I remember things from my childhood, from when I was a girl and a young woman, and I haven't forgotten a thing. So why did we think of Mom as a mom from the very beginning? She didn't have the opportunity to pursue her dreams, and all by herself, faced everything the era dealt her, poverty and sadness, and she couldn't do anything about her very bad lot in life other than suffer through it and get beyond it and live her life to the very best of her ability, giving her body and her heart to it completely. Why did I never give a thought to Mom's dreams?” — 145 likes

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