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Coming and Crying

3.71  ·  Rating details ·  144 ratings  ·  20 reviews
from the Introduction:

We knew from our earliest conversations that Coming & Crying was meant not to be erotic but true. We wanted to make a book that charged people with telling real stories about sex but didn't pressure them to turn anyone on. Coming & Crying aims not for conclusions about sex but for the truth that is found in our shared experience of it. We
Hardcover, 168 pages
Published 2010 by Glass Houses Press
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Average rating 3.71  · 
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 ·  144 ratings  ·  20 reviews

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Aug 30, 2010 rated it it was ok
This anthology was not edited as carefully as it deserved.

Editing essays from different writers is difficult, but that is the editor's job. Particularly in this instance: only two of the 24 essays in this collection had been previously published, meaning most likely 22 of them had never seen an editor outside of their respective authors, and while self-editing is fine for a first draft or a casual blog, a published essay deserves more attention. These essays absolutely required more work than a
Audacia Ray
Aug 22, 2010 added it  ·  (Review from the author)
Usually, I don't rate or review books that I have pieces in - it just seems wrong somehow. But I'm making an exception for Coming & Crying. This is a truly great and different collection of stories - I feel like I've been spoiled by reading stories like these online, but realize that there isn't much representation of sad, disturbing, and true stories about sex (and feelings) in print. This book changes that, and it's something that "sex positive" culture, which is all too much about sex ...more
Matthew Lawrence
Aug 23, 2010 rated it really liked it
I haven't read this book yet but something tells me that it is the greatest book you will read for some time, unless you are one of my blood relatives or potential employers in which case it is a terrible, terrible book that you should never, ever pick up.
Aug 24, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2011, books-i-own
I wanted to love this, but I just can't. While inconsistency is to be expected from a collection of essays, the discrepancy in quality between each story is too much. The editing is not entirely to be blamed of course. Some of them are much too long, others are too short to get anything out of them. In most cases it's easy to see what the writers are going for, it's just not there. That's not even universally true, though. I love the concept of this book, and that makes it all the more annoying ...more
Matthew Gallaway
Sep 21, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
I have a piece in this collection, so let's get that out of the way right off the bat! That said, while I can't say that I loved every story equally, I very much enjoyed the book as a whole, and found myself nodding in agreement in many places and LOLing in many others. Writing about sex is never easy, and for the most part I think anyone interested in frank, unsentimental stories from and about ppl of MANY sexual identities and orientations (a commendable feature, in my mind, for which the ...more
Sarah Jaffe
Dec 12, 2010 rated it it was amazing
I read one story a night until one morning when I didn't want to do anything else but read this book, and so I finished it. And it is still by my bed, because it is that kind of a book. It will always be by my bed, I think.
Lether Meyer
Dec 21, 2010 rated it really liked it
I was lucky enough to be sent a free copy from Melissa and Meaghan last month from sending a letter in response to a tumblr post. It's a wonderful anthology/collection of stories and I can't recommend it enough. It truly is a book that will be there for you when you need it. For a laugh or for a cry.
Jan 18, 2011 rated it liked it
On the whole, I liked it a lot and I think it's an important endeavor.

I agree with other reviewers who say that this collection could have used stronger editing -- both for content and copyediting -- but in a way, the slipshod, really on in some parts, kinda off in others suits the tone of the book. Sex is often sloppy and leaving you wanting, wondering what's going on. I suppose that sounds too forgiving, but the heart of the book shines through the rough bits. Sex and the emotions tied up with
Dec 11, 2010 rated it it was amazing
I didn't want it to end!

Certainly not every essay was perfect and some were, of course, better than others. I wasn't expecting perfection, but I didn't anticipate the extent to which these essays really moved me, and I'm pleased and somehow grateful (?) for the opportunity to witness them.

This was the most mind-bending book I read this year. I loved it.
Sep 02, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Intense and visceral. I almost cried during one story, and I laughed out loud during another. Very powerful, especially when you remember they're all true.
Rose Gibson
Feb 26, 2020 rated it it was amazing
This book is full of gorgeous writing; powerfully existential and erotic, I finished it quicker than anything else I'd read in months. If you're looking for something to stir memories of old flames, make you want to revisit your hometown (or avoid it entirely), and look strangers dead in the eye as you walk home tonight... you're on the right path.
Natalie S.
Oct 17, 2014 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2015
Definitely worth the $9 I spent on the Kindle edition of this collection of essays (which are about sex and written largely by ~millennials~, so at least five of them have the same voice), which is a fairly generous compliment considering that a few of them were preeeettttty bad. But the ones that were very good certainly outnumbered the ones that were stupid. The essays by the editors, Meaghan OConnell and Melissa Gira Grant, were both excellent. I would pay to read Charlotte Shanes grocery ...more
May 16, 2016 rated it really liked it
Other reviews have pointed out that this book could have done with a bit more editing. However, I didn't think that when reading this. The stories in it are maybe a little raw, but it adds to the feel of them rather than taking away from it. These are stories about sex and relationships, in different forms. No two stories in this collection are the same, and they all touch on different aspects. They're nicely written, and probably because they haven't been polished to perfection they feel that ...more
May 24, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: 2012
I don't really understand the criticism of strange endings, misframed narratives, content-based-whatever in this book -- each story told exactly the story it needed to tell. Some felt less powerful than others but that's a subjective given. Standouts for me were Meaghan O'Connell, Erica Moore, and Danny Vitolo. Do you have any idea how weird it is to actually read the acknowledgements page in full, fully expecting to "know" the people named? It's really really weird. Very important book.
Apr 09, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: kindle
A really wonderful collection of short stories, essays, musings about sex and the odd, sometimes inexplicable things that can surround sex and relationships. Some of the stories are erotic, some aren't at all, but every one makes you look at sex in a different way, with a fresh outlook. I had many laugh-out-loud moments, as well as introspective moments, and a quite a few "oh myyyy" moments as well. A great read!
Jul 06, 2011 rated it really liked it
An easy and entertaining read - it is set up as a book about sex, but is actually about the relationships, feelings, and circumstances surrounding sex. It is a memoir with multiple beautiful voices and some incredible prose writing. Highly recommended. I have lent it to many friends and have not heard a single word against it.
Jan 04, 2011 is currently reading it
Some stories are better/more interesting than others...
Feb 11, 2011 rated it it was ok
Very few stories in this book were good. Some of the writers did great, while others made their stories equivalent to some high school creative writing paper.
Lucia Gallipoli
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Jun 27, 2019
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Apr 16, 2011
Becca Lee-Simpson
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Feb 15, 2015
Muumuu House
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Sep 12, 2011
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May 18, 2011
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Dec 30, 2012
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Sep 11, 2010
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Aug 01, 2012
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Aug 16, 2012
Kara Wynne
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Sep 07, 2014
rated it it was ok
Apr 20, 2011
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Sep 06, 2010
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Im a writer and freelance journalist covering sex, tech, and politics, in the streets and everywhere else.

My latest book, Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work (Verso, 2014) challenges the myths about selling sex and those who make them.

My reporting and commentary appears in The Nation, Wired, The Atlantic, Glamour, The Guardian, In These Times, The Washington Post, Dissent, The American

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Some people love books. Some people fall in love. And some people fall in love with books about falling in love. Every month our team sorts...
27 likes · 11 comments
“I am coming. I can’t be coming. I’m fighting it, and that’s making it worse. I am trying to fake not having an orgasm. I wonder if he can tell…

I feel a little sick to my stomach when I realize exactly what sensation has brought me to this unfortunate climax: the friction of a very fat man’s matted belly hair on my clit. This man I am on top of is the most repulsive person I’ve ever allowed to touch me. Sheer physics won’t allow him to be on top of me. In fact, I am not entirely sure how it is that he will get back up from his supine position.

This man is my john. This orgasm and the wave of revulsion that follows quickly on its heels and makes my skin turn cold makes him my last client in my short career as an escort.”
“And when a futurist dies, the tragedy is that we lose access to all the possible futures they imagined for us. Our only connection, afterward, is through the arcane procedure like literary interpretation, like reading the flight of birds or throwing the I Ching, as Ballard must have as a child in Shanghai. Like it or not, we live in one of Ballard’s futures; a little apocalyptic, bent by technology.” 3 likes
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