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Smart Stepmom, The

4.13  ·  Rating details ·  149 Ratings  ·  24 Reviews
The stepmother's role often is ambiguous and underappreciated, and frequently it carries unrealistic expectations. The book answers women's concerns and questions, including: How can I be a caretaker and a key emotional connector in the family if the children don't accept my influence? How shoud I cope with children who are confused about their family and torn between loya ...more
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Published January 25th 2010 by Baker Publishing Group (first published October 1st 2009)
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Mar 12, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: book-collector
This was an encouraging book to read. This book gave me hope. It also gave me something much greater: the freedom to let go, not try so hard to make everyone play nice, and some measure of peace. It is full of practical advice and real-life stepmom's perspectives. The book addresses "yours," "mine," should we have an "ours," adult stepchildren, and more. It really does cover the gamut. Which is nice.
My favorite line: "Without the father's support, trying to parent his kids is like - as one stepm
My close friend married a man with four children from a previous marriage one month before I married a man with one child from a previous marriage. Both of us were inexperienced dealing with split families as our parents were still together and neither of us had children of our own. She was given a copy of this and immediately went and bought me one after reading only a few chapters. This book was a blessing!!

I found it to be eye opening and very helpful. It gave me things to think about that mi
Jan 07, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
Realistic. Practical. Depressing. You will feel a whole slew of emotions when reading this book. The authors provoke thought and give advice on how to be a positive role model, deal with kids/husband and handle communication, holidays etc...

Many items are not issues in my current realtionship with either daughter or dad but it made me feel like in the future, it could be. With the age of my step-daughter I don't see many of the problems of a lonely, hurt child who mourns over her biological pare
I didn't like this book as much as I needed it. It will definitely be a reread; and hopefully some parts of its wisdom will make their way into my soul.

This was my "book I previously abandoned" book for my 2017 Reading Challenge.
Jan 16, 2012 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: all stepmothers
Recommended to Tiffany by: Jennifer Landry
Shelves: parenting
I feel like I have the best blended family situation - my husband is an engaged father to his 11 year old son, his son likes me and my 4 year old daughter, we all get along and my husband is very respectful of me. That being said, there are still a lot of dynamics at work within a blended family that I did not anticipate and I can see how there could be a lot of drama. This book covers many different topics - adult step children, holidays, dealing with his ex wife, and even two chapters for your ...more
Oct 16, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I considered this book very informative and answered a number of questions I had regarding my step-parenting. My step-daughter, whose behavior had become confusing or inconsistent, was explained. I myself approach things on a spiritual level and usually act with God in mind, so this of course was in line with my values. There are some areas where I did not find the information applicable or the advice was delivered very black and white, which is sometimes the fodder of spiritual reading.It's cut ...more
Apr 25, 2010 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
They referred to a good amount of biblical passages. That might help some people, if you are into that. I found myself skimming over those sections. There is also questions to ponder with your partner at the end of each chapter. I could see this being helpful too, in case you needed some help communicating your feelings/anxiety, etc. to your partner.

I would recommend this to other step-mamas and leave it nonchalantly in the bathroom so your husband will be tempted to pick it up and give it a qu
Apr 14, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I first picked up this book during my engagement to a wonderful man with three teenagers. The first few chapters terrified me. I decided not to read it. When a friend sent me the same book several months into our marriage, I considered it a sign that I should try it again. My experience and perspective had changed. This is an incredibly helpful book for stepmothers. I cannot recommend it enough.
Sep 29, 2012 rated it it was ok
Overall, a well written and informative book with excellent advice and suggestions. However, I didn't care for the religious references and what I perceived to be Bible thumping at times.
This assumes the reader is a church attending Christian which may not be the case.
I ignored the religious aspects and got what I wanted out of it.
So I recommend this book with this caveat.
Erin Caldwell
Sep 10, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I have read a LOT of stepparenting books in the last few years, but this was one of the best. I wish I had read this one several years ago. The authors covered a lot of topics not covered in other books, and they seemed more realistic with their suggestions. There was not a lot of self-glorifying storytelling that many stepparenting books seem to be solely written for, either.
Jen Jenn
Sep 19, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
If you are a stepmom or going to be a stepmom.. It's best you read this book because it prepares you. Wished I had read this book before I became one... saves you a lot of heartache. It really describes the many things that I have gone through or are going through right now.. The writer uses godly counsels, too which is why I think this book makes a good handbook for a stepmom.
May 22, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read lots of stepfamily books. This is a great series. My husband is currently reading The Smart Stepdad. I'm hoping the author writes a Smart Stepsiblings.
p.s. I just reread this review from 2 years ago. ha! was still optimistic. we don't recommend the stepfamily life!
Tiffany Cusick-Bristol
This book has made me reevaluate my parenting on all levels and provided great insight as well as perspective. It makes me feel better to know other women are going through the same struggles as me and have survived.
Emily Edens
This is a great book, however I did not find it terribly helpful as my step sons live with us full time. The suggestions that the step mom stand back when the children are visiting their father don't really help me.
Mar 15, 2010 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Marsha by: Divorce Care speaker
Good insight into blended families - VERY helpful in validating some of my own feelings esp. over the last year since my stepson has moved in full-time - also interesting to think about how this applies to my son's stepmother
May 07, 2014 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This is the only step parenting book that I read all the way through, with a pen, underlining. Every other one made me gag. She writes the real, ugly truth and is not afraid to call things like they are. this is comforting. Step parenting is hard. And I am not sure if it is do-able.
Rebecca Henderson
Practical, realistic, encouraging, and challenging. This book has given me a lot to think through as I prepare to marry a man with four sons, and I will revisit these concepts and advice in the days and years to come.
Dec 07, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Day late and a dollar short, but it is never too late to learn. How's that for a series of cliches?

This was a very good book. I very much recommend reading it to anyone who is thinking of becoming a stepmom. You NEED this information.
Jul 18, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This was a great resource!
Ahren Aurit
Dec 02, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book for Stepmoms and even moms!
Allison Marsh
Jan 06, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I think this book was great. It really had some good points to consider, cute prayers at the end of each chapter, and helpful tips. I highly recommend this book to any stepmom!
Jul 13, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: stepfamily, faith
Good for seasoned and beginner stepmoms. The faith angle is unobtrusive and respectful. This book is helping me a lot.
Mar 06, 2015 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book! Great tips !
Mar 28, 2014 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Glad I took the time to read this
June Leyendecker
rated it it was amazing
Jul 14, 2017
Danna Aaron
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Aug 16, 2016
Eric J Balcom
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Dec 25, 2015
Nicole Masters
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Dec 09, 2015
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Aug 14, 2015
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