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The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon

3.79  ·  Rating details ·  709 Ratings  ·  93 Reviews
With the first two editions of this landmark work, Dr. David Elkind eloquently called our attention to the dangers of exposing our children to overwhelming pressures, pressures that can lead to a wide range of childhood and teenage crises. Internationally recognized as the voice of reason and compassion, Dr. Elkind showed that in blurring the boundaries of what is age appr
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Paperback, 3rd Edition, 288 pages
Published April 11th 2001 by Perseus Publishing (first published 1981)
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Diane
Dec 30, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I read this book when it was first published and read it again when
this updated version was published.

The point of the book is how we hurry our children into adulthood
and this topic is one that should really be explored more in schools
and in the media. Children need to be children and this book
should be a must read for all parents and school districts.
Adriane Devries
David Elkind, Ph. D., describes the Hurried Child as one who is forced to grow up too fast too soon. In American society, which highly values competition and “the earlier the better” mentality, the condition is pandemic, caused by the chronic exploitation of children’s talents and time for purposes other than their direct benefit, by a combination of pressures from parents, commercial media, and school.

Though much Hurrying can be defended as an earnest effort by parents to ensure a good future
...more
Solady Batterjee
May 30, 2008 rated it it was amazing
I can't say that I am with or against the ideas of this book, the thing that I would like to share is that I beleive that parents should have an inner scale to when and how much should they encaurage their children and when to stop.
Tara
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Donna Davis
Apr 10, 2013 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Folks, don't put mascara on your twelve-year-old, & don't buy it for her, either.

Elkind makes a lot of really strong points here. This book is more geared toward those who are raising children (parent/guardians...so many, many grandparents raising kids these days!) than toward educators, who follow the school or district's policies regardless...

The last chapter draws a lot of extremely conservative conclusions with which I would not care to be associated, and this is why the final star is d
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Robyn Larson
Feb 01, 2008 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I read this book for one of my developmental classes and I love it. Every parent or will be parent should read this. It talks about how we as Americans are trying to get our children to grow up too fast and the consequences we as a nation are facing. Over scheduling and the pressure to do better than everyone else are just some of the topics discussed. I didn't think I would enjoy it but once I opened the cover, it was hard to stop.
Roger Voth
Dec 01, 2010 rated it really liked it
Please, don't use your children to fulfill your own wishes. Be their leader, their confidant, their best cheer-leader, and the one who loves them deeply from the heart. Teach all you can, challenge them to take responsibility, and realize that they are a unique beautiful person with the possibility of great things wrapped up in fragile paper. They are a gift you are given to care for, not a possession or resource that you can use.
Marianne Mullen
May 15, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
Great book for explaining why childhood needs to be preserved and why we need to stop rushing children to grow up so fast. It's a bit outdated but the overall message is powerful. It took me forever to read this but I'm glad I did.
Lacey
Apr 24, 2008 rated it liked it
I read this book for my middle childhood class. It was a huge eye opener about how parents are hurrying their children to grow up and expecting to much of them I would reccomend this book for anyone who has young children.
Dianna Caley
May 06, 2013 rated it liked it
Extremely negative about working mothers and single mothers. The author had some good things to say, but it was hard to get past his clearly biased anecdotal rants against homes that did not resemble the Donna reed show.
Corbin
Mar 29, 2008 rated it did not like it
Rife with sublimated sexism; ignores issues of race, class, and culture; ageist; severe backlash against gifted acceleration programs; condones censorship; completely ignores issues of asynchronous development.
Stacy
Mar 18, 2009 rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: Yvette
Recommended to Stacy by: Dr. Thompson
Although dated and written mostly to parents. I appreciated the celebration of childhood Elkind shared. I'd like to continue my readings on this topic.
Aayaam
May 22, 2013 is currently reading it
Shelves: unfinished
Gave up on this because it was a bit vivid for my taste. If you can deal with a work that hits close to home, I recommend it to you.


UPDATE: Continuing it after newfound motivation.
Audrey
Feb 28, 2016 rated it really liked it
Insightful, and the trend has not reversed.
Shana
May 02, 2014 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2014
I read an earlier edition (c. 1989). I'd like to get my hands on the 2001 edition sometime. I would imagine he made many updates, as the hurrying has only gotten worse...
Jacqui
Oct 10, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
More of a documentary for a school project, but a definite great read. Something most can identify with.
jacky
David Elkind's overall premise is that our society forces children to grow up to fast in many, many different ways. He calls this hurrying. Basically, all hurrying leads to stress, and that stress has many different ways it can affect a child. The bulk of the book discusses how different aspects of family life and culture create these hurried situations and how children respond. Very little time is spend on how to work against hurrying in comparison to the length of the book.

One of my biggest pr
...more
Rebekah Willoughby
Apr 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing
Personally, as an individual, I realize that after reading this book I have a new found way that I look at the world and children around me. As a future parent there are pitfalls that I don’t want to fall into. I realize that we are human and we will all make mistakes but I would like to do everything in my power to avoid as much mistakes as possible. There were things that I knew pervious to reading this book but didn’t quite know why or how to formulize them. There were also things I thought I ...more
Hannah Deichler
Jan 25, 2018 rated it really liked it
In this second installment of Dr. David Elkind's development series, he discusses our society and how it is hurrying our children through adolescence. Through the recent emergence of social media and technology, the hurrying is even quicker than before. Our children know more than past generations can even comprehend because of their exposure to the internet and media. Dr. Elkind dives deep into the implications of having unlimited access to the internet and other factors that contribute to the ...more
Jesse
Jun 03, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Dr Elkind beautifully describes the importance of play and having children be children. He details the importance of how excess stress in a child's life can affect their entire life, and how we as a society hurry children into adulthood in a race against the clock...perhaps doing so at their peril. This book mostly outlines the triggers of stress in children, and he touches on Freudian philosophies and Montessori teachings. This is a great read for parents and educators in today's society!
Ari Shaffer
Sep 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
As a therapist and parenting coach, I found this book to be valuable. We don't often think about how much pressure kids feel as they are overbooked with lessons, AP classes, extra curricular activities and family demands. This book brings all that to light and helps us step into the shoes of children who no longer have the time to be children.
Emily Griffin
Feb 22, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: teaching-tools
This book was fantastic. It was a real eye opener to the ways our children are being raised in today's world. The. lol was originally written in the 1980s but that doesn't make it outdated, only more important now. It examines the effects of hurrying our children through their life and how it can harm them in the long run.

This is a good read for parents and educators alike.
Liz
Jul 16, 2017 rated it did not like it
I ended up just skimming this after the first few chapters because I was put off by his discussion of divorced parents and full-time working parents. I do think it's important to balance kids' responsibilities and be aware of what might cause them stress, but this book was just too restrictive.
Sam Mosqueda
Oct 31, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: teacher-books
Read for ED 304. Love it! This is one that I feel is more applicable to parenting than to teaching a high school class, but nonetheless is fantastic.
Tanya
Jun 12, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: 2010-books
I agree with letting kids be kids, the main premise of the book. It's definitely challenging as I feel in the minority in my community. My daughters also feel the pressure to grow up too quickly as there is often contrast between what I'm allowing them to do and what their peers are being allowed to do. Since this book addresses the internet, but not the rest of the electronics that are now available, the book really felt dated.

p. 21 "Children need time to grow, to learn, and to develop. To trea
...more
JaNel
Jun 28, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: parenting
I really enjoyed the summaries and explanation of some of the major child psychology--Freud, Erikson, etc. Though what he said about Montessori did not really match the impression I got when I read The Absorbent Mind. Another of my favorites. I'll definitely look up some of his other titles. Though I will put more effort this time into getting the most current edition.

p.25 "people who are stressed--like those in ill health are absorbed with themselves...the demands on them, their hydra-headed an
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Heather
May 02, 2011 rated it it was amazing
i empathize a lot and realize that I can't keep hurring my kids from one thing to the next...sadly only to page 152 0f 220 but will re-read the entire book again

best things:

pg. 21 "all children have, vis-a-vis adults, special needs- intellectrual, social, and emotional. children do not learn, think or feel in the same way as adults."
xii "it seems a new obscenity is permitted on the television screen. Increasingly, nudity and salacious behavior are broadcase in the early evening hours...."
25) 3 p
...more
Christine Bourgeois
This book was first written in 1981 with several revised editions since. I liked Elkind's book on children's play better. This one at times seems very opinionated, and somewhat judgmental to say the least when he describes women going to work and the impact on children...

Overall, parents have a contract with children and when we hurry them we break that contract and the underlying bond of trust. Hurrying happens by having them watch inappropriate content on TV or asking them to care for themselv
...more
Liss Capello
Feb 05, 2012 rated it it was ok
Yet another book on parenting I expected to largely agree with, so in a way this was preaching to the parenting choir. However, I don't think this is one I would turn to or recommend as a favorite. It's essentially a compilation on ideas about child psychology and how 'hurrying' (the author's word for anything in which children of any age are allowed, encouraged, or forced to act in age-inappropriate ways, be they social, mental, physical, emotional) can be damaging to it. The lengthy chapters o ...more
Suzan G
Dec 13, 2016 rated it it was amazing
As an early childhood educator,one who owned a preschool,a lover of children,and a mother I feel this treasure of a source is even more relevant today!

In this fast paced and terribly violent, less gentle world we need so much more than ever to let children play,grow ,daydream and explore at their own speeds and not that of ego driven adults.
Children born in this technology dominant age will likely live to be over one hundred years old. No good reasons exist to push little ones or make them compe
...more
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David Elkind is an American child psychologist and author. His groundbreaking books The Hurried Child and Miseducation informed early childhood education professionals of the possible dangers of "pushing down" the elementary curriculum into the very early years of a child's life. By doing so, he argued, teachers and parents alike could lapse into developmentally inappropriate instructional and lea ...more