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Self-Esteem: A proven program of cognitive techniques for assessing, improving and maintaining your self-esteem

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really liked it 4.00  ·  Rating details ·  1,002 ratings  ·  75 reviews
Self-esteem is essential for our survival. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.

One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide
...more
Paperback, 313 pages
Published May 1st 2005 by New Harbinger Publications (first published 1986)
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really liked it 4.00  · 
Rating details
 ·  1,002 ratings  ·  75 reviews


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☘Misericordia☘ ~ The Serendipity Aegis ~  ⚡ϟ⚡ϟ⚡⛈ ✺❂❤❣
The idea of calling up large and global and inspiring and majestic ideas for the purpose of meditation seems to be very interesting.
Jessica
Aug 20, 2009 rated it really liked it
This book is straightforward, and clearly a result of psychological research, especially in the field of cognitive development.
It guides you through a process of repairing self-esteem, which starts off by analyzing how you view yourself. Later, you dissect your "weaknesses" and decide which are true reflections of yourself, and which are merely exaggerations - ones that you've convinced yourself to believe in through years of self-criticizing. The second half of the book provides mediations and
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Alysia
Sep 11, 2012 rated it liked it
I've never read anything quite like this before. It was interesting, but the self-talk is a little foreign to me. I think about stuff, but I don't regularly "talk" to myself. I did learn some things about myself and about what I can do to improve those areas of self-esteem that I have a more difficult time with. I'm writing out below what I learned for my own benefit, although I don't mind if you read it :)

I learned that I have a fear of rejection and often tell myself that people will reject m
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Chris Munson
Aug 15, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: self-improvement
My original motivation for purchasing this book was to re-familiarize myself with the topic of self-esteem, how to foster it and how to make sure that I support the self-esteem of those around me (particularly in light of the team I was set to manage). However, I found that this book applied to myself much more than I would have anticipated. I learned more about myself by reading this book than I have through hours of self-reflection and contemplation. I always considered my humility and lack of ...more
Melissa Storm
Oct 12, 2012 rated it liked it
I learned a lot about myself while reading this book. Mostly that self-help books are fully capable of giving me nightmares. YIKES!

While I saw notable improvement in some areas of my life after reading this book (for example: asking for what you want and learning to deflect the inner critic), there were some areas that I found to be utter hogwash.

I do not/ cannot believe that everyone is "simply doing the best they can given the circumstances" when applied to murderers, rapists, and other dete
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Diane
Oct 20, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
This book has a lot to offer in building self esteem. I especially liked the chapter on helping children build their self esteem. I will include some thoughts from his book. "Every action your children make is an attempt to meet their needs. This is true whether or not the behavior is successful at meeting their needs. This is true whether or not the behavior is acceptable. A child who picks fights with siblings, shows off in an obnoxious way, baby-talks, or acts regressive needs something. It m ...more
Haytham Badawey
Jul 21, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: psychology
This book was the second book that actually changed my life in my college years, thank God. I'd like to meet that author and give him a million dollars for changing my entire life with his very rational, helpful and interesting book!

After reading book I realized that before I had a really low self esteem and always self-sabotaged myself, which had adverse effect on my confidence, but this book teaches you how to respect yourself, value your psychological state and raise your self confidence and
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Bridgett
Jul 09, 2009 rated it really liked it
Shelves: psychology
This was a very useful book that used a lot of the same techniques my PTSD therapist uses (such as separating feelings from thoughts and figuring out core beliefs). There are a lot of things I hope to apply to my own life and interactions with other people. Hopefully by following some of the ways of thinking shown in this book I will have less cognitive distortions and will be a more understanding person.
Esther
Dec 17, 2013 rated it did not like it
Listened to half of this book and stopped. Found it insensitive. The book manages to insult the people who are its case studies while suggesting ways they can improve their self-esteem. It puts a premium on physical attractiveness -- a man is approached by an "attractive woman," for example. The ideas it offers are outdated, suggesting that the reader challenge negative self-talk using equivalent neutral phrases and then listing phrases that are equally judgmental. Besides, the advice that the r ...more
Haley
Dec 12, 2010 rated it liked it
Shelves: psychology
Starts off really, really well. The mantras, etc. are too limiting however and the book doesn't go into many topics in nearly enough detail. Radical Acceptance goes much further and really addresses deeply rooted issues of self-esteem.Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life With the Heart of a Buddha
Angela
Apr 30, 2008 rated it really liked it
I read this book last year while going through counseling. Helpful. I would recommend it to anyone that could use therapy or counseling.
Drew Drew
Absolute must in the field of self-esteem. I cant' think of anyone who wouldn't benefit from this book.

Highly recommended.
Kimber
Feb 22, 2017 rated it it was ok
Shelves: self-help
This had excellent advice but it reads too much like a text book and I have read enough of those.
Momina AHmad
Jan 10, 2018 rated it really liked it
This is the second book that has changed my life, well ! every person is unique in his/her own way, and this is the finest reality of beings that is mentioned here in this book.Habitually we conduct things,we show shades and shapes that sometimes left us in a suspension of colors but in actuality we are unknown to that colors.The author knows how to articulate the different topics and this is why this book is easy for reading.
Shannon Mckenzie
Apr 29, 2019 rated it liked it
This may have helped me years ago, but I found no new insights. It really did show me how I have come and changed since I was a teenager in my self esteem and negative thinking.
Nicole
Jan 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing
A really great self-help book that actually works! Great to use alone or as a part of therapy/counseling.
Amy
Nov 17, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: therapy-books
Wonderful self help book that clinicians can easily tailor to specific clients. The exercises are actually useful and applicable to reality.
Karla Winick-Ford
Aug 01, 2018 rated it liked it
Not a fan
Didn’t like it
Too wordy
Wasn’t enjoyable to read
Stephen Nicholl
Not sure I agree with it all ...its mostly around the basic concepts of today mindfulness
Calvin
Jul 20, 2018 rated it it was amazing
One of the most important books every person should read.
Dee O'Sullivan
Jan 29, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Excellent book. Worth a read to help ones self improvement
Jana
Sep 24, 2016 rated it it was amazing
Caroline McHugh has this amazing talk on TEDx called ''The art of being yourself'' and it is truly inspiring if you have ears to hear to what she is saying about the EYE concepts of ourselves: what the world thinks of me, what I want the world to think of me, what I think of myself and the actual talk of my soul.

I do a lot of affirmative psychology workshops and speeches like this help people to embrace themselves more, to see the uniqueness and individuality and full potential in all of us whi
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Katy
Oct 22, 2016 rated it liked it
Shelves: nonfiction
This book taught me a lot of important things. One of them is that even self-help books are not one-size-fits-all.

Don't get me wrong--there are lots of good techniques and helpful tips in this book, and I know I'll use most of them. (Not sure about the self-hypnosis yet. But who knows?) But there were a few things that weren't right...FOR ME. For example, I'm not big into psychoanalysis, and I think it's a problem in this book specifically because everyone is different. A book can't really help
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Justin
Apr 13, 2015 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: psychology, favorites
So far I've only read the second edition, but this book serves as a valuable resource for anyone whether a self-loathing or someone without any apparent need for therapy, and also for therapists for their clients. It's organized in a way to allow you to move through the sections relevant to your needs. McKay takes a cognitive behavioral approach to the work on self-esteem which focuses on a systematic analysis of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and the objective facts themselves. We all have an i ...more
Robin
Jul 05, 2009 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Some time ago, a friend offered to go through this book with me, and, though I didn't learn anything startlingly new in its pages, it was a great help in getting me though a rough time.

It's the "real-est" self-help book I've ever read. McKay and Fanning don't talk down to you, and don't go on ad nauseum about someone else's case history (that doesn't even apply to your problems). Also, and this is the best part, unlike 99% of similar books, the authors actually go one step further and give some
...more
Joy H.
Apr 06, 2013 marked it as to-read
Added 4/6/13.
Found while browsing audible.com books.
Self-esteem is one of my favorite subjects.

I already own an excellent book on self-esteem entitled:
Women And Self Esteem: Understanding And Improving The Way We Think And Feel About Ourselves (1984)
by Linda Tschirhart Sanford.
I'd like to compare the two books.

7/14/16 - I entered a "Giveaway" for this book.
Giveaway dates: Jul 08 - Jul 18, 2016
Availability: 10 copies available, 80 people requesting
Jennifer
Jan 28, 2015 rated it liked it
There was some interesting and helpful information in here, especially the part about raising children with good self esteems. Overall though, I found the book boring. It took me almost a year to read the whole thing and it wasn't even that long. I don't know if I took anything big out of it besides that fact that I think I may try visualizations and hypnotism. I don't think my self esteem was bad off enough to need a lot of what was in here, but it may be of great help to someone else whose sel ...more
Wilhelm Weber
Well, I'm not so sure...

This was suggested by a friend and it's not my normal fare. Still it was some fascinating reading. New perspectives. Certainly rushed through it as usual and really need more time to digest this lot. Still: Not judging? Have to think on this some more, but it sure challenges some of my basic and even favorite assumptions and not just about others, but also about myself. So timeout and I'll dwell on this some more in the coming days and perhaps weeks.
Adela Carmona
Feb 13, 2012 rated it really liked it
The cognitive training/reinforcing techniques are very practical and effective. This book is written in a very straight forward manner, which makes it very easy to read. The exercises contained in the book make it a very complete self improvement manual. I find myself randomly picking it up and doing the exercises as a refresher. We all could use a little self improvement, this book really changes the way we see and talk to ourselves.
Christy
May 27, 2013 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
Self-esteem is essential for our survival. Without some measure of self-worth, life can be enormously painful, with many basic needs going unmet.

One of the main factors differentiating humans from other animals is the awareness of self: the ability to form an identity and then attach a value to it. In other words, you have the capacity to define who you are and then decide...more
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Matthew McKay, PhD, is a professor of psychology at the Wright Institute in Berkeley, and author of more than 30 professional psychology and self-help books which have sold a combined total of more than 3 million copies. He is co-founder of independent self-help publisher, New Harbinger Publications. He was the clinical director of Haight Ashbury Psychological Services in San Francisco for twenty ...more
“Strong self-esteem depends on two things. The first is what most of this book has been about: learning to think in healthy ways about yourself. The second key to self-esteem is the ability to make things happen, to see what you want and go for it: literally to create your own life.” 2 likes
“The truth is that your value is your consciousness, your ability to perceive and experience. The value of a human life is that it exists. You are a complex miracle of creation. You are a person who is trying to live, and that makes you as worthwhile as every other person who is doing the very same thing. Achievement has nothing to do with it. Whatever you do, whatever you contribute should come not from the need to prove your value, but from the natural flow of your aliveness. What you do should come from the drive to fully live, rather than the fight to justify yourself.” 0 likes
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