Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth & Encouragement

by Jim Burns

A Marriage Full of A.W.E. If you think intimacy in marriage is an impossible goal, think again. Even if your relationship is the high maintenance variety, you can still find that meaningful connection you are seeking by cultivating three important ingredients in your Affection, Warmth, and Encouragement--AWE. Sharing personal stories of both success and failure, Jim Burns' candid and vulnerable style will encourage you to work toward rekindling the fires of your romance, no matter how chilly the coals may have grown. Important areas discussed include communication, sexuality, friendship, forgiveness, worship, attitudes, and priorities. This is not a pie-in-the-sky approach to marriage. The challenges of everyday life with a spouse are faced head-on by someone who has not only experienced them himself but also coached hundreds of other couples and individuals in their struggles. The practical help he offers will equip you to tackle the real-life issues of marriage and find true and lasting intimacy with your spouse. Each chapter includes helpful follow-up exercises and questions for personal reflection.

Genres: Marriage, Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help, Ebooks, Relationships, Spirituality

208 pages, Hardcover

First published July 1, 2006

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads database.

Jim Burns, Ph.D., President of HomeWord is the host of the HomeWord with Jim Burns daily half-hour, daily one-minute, and weekly half-hour radio programs. His passion is communicating to adults and young people practical truths to help them live out their Christian lives.

Jim is the author of many resources including his latest books The Purity Code: God’s Plan for Sex and Your Body, Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality and Accept Nothing Less: God’s Best for Your Body, Mind and Heart. In recent years, he has also written Confident Parenting and Creating an Intimate Marriage which are available in audio CDs, books, and small group curriculum kits; The 10 Building Blocks for a Happy Family; Devotions on the Run; and Parenting Teenagers for Positive Results kit. Since 1985, HomeWord has been assisting parents and churches worldwide through radio, resources, seminars, and the web at www.homeword.com. Jim writes monthly columns for Ignite Your Faith magazine and Simply Youth Ministry newsletter and website.

Reviews

[Sojana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed a lot this book! I like the way it is organised. The author gives a lot of personal experiences on how to grow together as a couple. I really liked the lessons where he had put some very good advises to become more intimate with your spouse. At the end of each chapter there was a number of questions and heart to heart homework to do with your husband/wife.

I loved how everything discussed in the book could be put in practice, through the good counsels the author lined up. Also, answering the questions or doing the homework together would bring on more communication and encouragement in the marriage.

The thing i enjoyed the most was that this was the first book we read as a couple. I think it's great to read and share with your spouse this king of books, which gives you advises how to become more close to each - other.

Would recommend this book to every couple from newlyweds to married-for-decades couples because it gives you some really good counseling through the challenges each marriage has. You will definitely like and find it very helpful!

[Tasha · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is my first "marriage book" so wasn't sure what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised. It could be that I am just energized from his postive attitude and optimistic outlook but I'm hoping it's more than that and this will go to good use and not fizzle out in a few weeks when I get tired of "working on it". I guess marriage is like everything else in life... you get out of it what you put into it.

My most favorite, thought provoking moment from this book was... "What would you like to come home to if you had been at work all day?" And yes I know we work too but this just really caught me off guard and made me aware of the fact that as much as I like to think I do a good job of putting myself in his shoes, I REALLY SUCK at it!!

Anyway, we both read it so I am really eager to see where we let it take us!

[Scott Bamford · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent Relationship Book

This was a very thorough, honest, and transparent book. Jim does a great job using his own life experiences to illustrate issues, solutions, and ways of handling things.

[Carol & Russell · Rating 5 out of 5]

my husband really liked the book

[Joel Bruneski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great resource for any couple; old or young; married or planning on it.

[Thatayaone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic book

This book has made me a better person and improved my marriage remarkably. I would really recommend it to everyone.

[Jimmy Sorrells · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book with practical information

[Dina Koble · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is very good for looking at marriage after you’ve been together for a long time. I was able to take several nuggets to feel appreciative and renewed.

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book focuses on marriage dynamics from a Christian perspective. It is simple, positive and practical. There are questions at the end of each section designed to spark reflection and discussion. The feel is much like a marriage enrichment seminar but noticeably missing a lot of the helpful worksheets.

A change in personal attitudes is presented as the key catalyst for greater friendship and romance in your marriage. Each chapter has a number of suggestions with anecdotal support to illustrate how the principles can work. At times the narrative is tedious because it contains ample cliches yet it also has an uplifting message to those who may feel trapped in negative cycles.

There are direct references to the issues of betrayal and addictive behavior, but the writer openly states that these challenges require specialize counseling and ongoing work that falls outside the scope of this work. Most of the writer's attention is spent delving into the prioritizing of time and the creating of simple routines that will cultivate friendship (leading to romantic intimacy).

For couples seeking an accessible handling of basic relationship building activities, this is a good start. It does have Scripture references, is succinct in its contents and remains true to the goal of offering practical advice.

[Sheri · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I wasn't thrilled with the format and overall style of writing, this book is packed with scripture and practical application for kindling an intimate marriage. How lovely married life would be if I always treated my sweetheart with affection, warmth, and encouragement!

Here are a couple quotes I took away:

- Far too many couples settle for mediocrity in their marriage when they would never settle for second-best in other areas of their life.

- One of the greatest problems in American marriages and family life, is this breathless pace at which we live our lives.

- You can't build a home (or anything else) from the wrong set of blueprints. Marriage is a God-ordained and God-sustained institution.

- Isn't it amazing that two fairly normal and actually pretty nice people can get married and treat each other like complete idiots? (makes me laugh!)

- Greet him with a hug and at least a fifteen-second passionate kiss. =)

[Michael Romans · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dr. Jim Burns writes a pretty good book on marriage. On the whole, however, it was fairly repetitive. He outlines early on in the book is core thesis of A.W.E in marriage. That is that marriages need affection, warmth, and encouragement. He then spends the rest of the book applying these three ideas to different facets of married life. Persistently this idea is underpenned with the admonition that you we are too busy and need to slow down in life in order to really get the best out of our marriages, or life in general.

For the most part Dr. Burns advice is helpful and practical. Despite its repetitiveness I would gladly suggest this book to a married, or soon to be married couple, who were wanting to practical advice on how to strengthen their marriage.

[Jonathan Widell · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author is generous in divulging intimate details of his own marriage. I am pretty sure that defeats the purpose of creating an intimate marriage. I hate this kind of how-to manuals but at least have a good time hating them. What his advice ultimately comes down is to seek professional help. I am not making this up. He says time and again that the reader should seek the help of a marriage counsellor. The book does a good job of putting the emphasis on marriage. It is not about children or work or whatever, but about one's spouse. That does not seem to be such a novel idea but how easy it is to forget that. And God.

[Rex Libris · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got this one as a freebie through BookBub. It is a good book and what the author writes about makes a lot of sense mostly because it is a lot common sense that we lose track of in our hectic lives. His "system" is to put "AWE" back in your marriage. Treat your spouse with affection, warmth, and encouragement. While it does seem like common sense, Jim Burns takes the time to spell out in more detail what affection, warmth, and encouragement really are.

[Jostalady · Rating 1 out of 5]

I have read several books with similar advice. This one is adds a religious element that may appeal more to a certain audience. I did not feel the author was qualified beyond having a successful marriage to be an authority. Nothing wrong with the common sense advice offered here, I have seen it over and over in relationship books-so it must have value.

[Jayson Bradley · Rating 1 out of 5]

I didn't finish this, so maybe in the last two chapters Jim Burns pulls an amazing M. Night Shyamalan twist, and it's magically good. I am not going to stick it out and see. This book is hackneyed and trite. Any marital book that focuses on techniques at the expense of true insight needs to be burned.

[Ms bookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

Sadly not for me I got this as a free download glad I did not pay. It was advertised as a non religious book but it is very religious which put me off. I'm not a faith follower and the book seemed to want you to be. Like that was part of the way to create a intimate marriage. Not recommended for non faith followers

[Jason · Rating 4 out of 5]

My wife and I read this book together. I thought it was a good book, and I appreciated that it had a Christian aspect to it. I would recommend this book to anyone who is married and wants to invest in improving their marriage.

[Jeanette Dick · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very goood

This book is very good but needs tips. On how to get your spouse to read and follow the methods kit this book.. when only one person in the marriage has issues with the relationship

[Kymberly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book and great insight! Great for personal and work library! Should have a small chapter on destructive marriages in more detail it not just a paragraph or two to address this, that is my only criticism.

[Dawn · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a down-to-earth look at how to create intimacy in your marriage. The Christian author used real life examples of those he counseled and his own experience. Each topic and the tips to improvement were obtainable if you are willing to put some effort into your marriage.

[Sarah Tummey · Rating 2 out of 5]

Glad to have got this one for free. I don't think it's worth spending too much money on, but there is some good advice about aspects of marriage including finance. I enjoyed the chapter about renewing wedding vows; I knew an elderly couple who used to do that every year on their anniversary.

[David · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jim Burns shares some valuable suggestions and insights throughout the book. Thankfully he doesn't come across as arrogant or as a "know it all." Be forewarned that his perspective and frame of reference is very religious and decidedly Christian, in case that's problematic for you.

[Lisa]

Marriage

[Adrienna · Rating 2 out of 5]

FOr research only.

[Jim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Never bad to get a re-fresher

[Duncan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book on marriage the practical suggestion are practical, a good way to re ignite your marriage.
through Affection, Warmth, and Encouragement.

[Frans Kempe · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many good thoughts.

[Josh L. · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very practical, good ideas for plans, and excellent discussion questions

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very good book! Lots of great tips.

[Sean · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not everything was relevant, but this book does contain a lot of good and very practical advice for all couples. And reading this together is a great approach.