Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Why Can't You Read My Mind?: Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship” as Want to Read:
Why Can't You Read My Mind?: Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Why Can't You Read My Mind?: Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship

3.94  ·  Rating details ·  117 ratings  ·  9 reviews
Most people think that poor communication is the reason why so many relationships end, but it's actually the way we learn to think about our partners and our problems that kills trust, erodes intimacy, and cripples communication. In Why Can't You Read My Mind?, psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein reveals-for the first time-the nine toxic thought patterns at work in virtually ev ...more
Paperback, 210 pages
Published November 3rd 2003 by Da Capo Lifelong Books (first published November 2nd 2003)
More Details... Edit Details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Why Can't You Read My Mind?, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Why Can't You Read My Mind?

Community Reviews

Showing 1-30
3.94  · 
Rating details
 ·  117 ratings  ·  9 reviews


More filters
 | 
Sort order
Brooke
Apr 16, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: yes
Recommended to Brooke by: everyone in a relationship wondering how to help it
This is the best relationship self help book I've ever seen. I buy it for most of my girls when they move in with a boy, just because I know how frustraiting it can be.

I'm living with my 3rd boy friend, and it's finally easier. I can come home walk into a messy place and NOT take it personal. It has nothing to do with me. I didn't know that until I read this book.

This book teaches you how to communicate verbally those things you expect him/her to be able to 'just know'. No one can tell what's w
...more
Cynthia
Jun 21, 2008 is currently reading it
My husband of 28 years is very interested in why I'm reading this book.
Douglas Lord
Nov 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing
People have misunderstood one another since the beginning of time–and, if the self-help genre is any indication, they continue to do so. Bernstein, a Philadelphia-based psychologist, describes “toxic” thought patterns that can damage even the healthiest relationships (readers will be reminded of those found in Clinton McLemore’s Toxic Relationships and How to Change Them: Health and Holiness in Everyday Life), He presents the MAP plan–Mindfulness, Alternatives, Practice–as the antidote to tenden ...more
Erika RS
Jun 01, 2012 rated it it was ok
My goal: find a good book about communication in relationships. There are endless books about communication and endless books about relationship, and most of them are written for an audience whose standard reading fare is magazine articles. I chose Why Can’t You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship by Jeffrey Bernstein and Susan Magee because it was both relatively well rated and available at my library. My rating: 2/5

Why Can’t You Re
...more
Ariel
Oct 12, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: self-help
This book uses the principles of cognitive therapy to help you turn off your "toxic thinking". The author proposes that if you thought your way out of love than you can think your way back in. Like most of the relationship books I have read the solution starts with you. You cannot change your partner, only yourself. You have to accept your responsibility for the problems and you are the only one who can fix them. You can't expect your partner to make you happy by being able to "read your mind". ...more
Isaac
Another self-helpy type book that I began a long time ago and just ended now. It's main worthwhile point in my opinion is the concept of "Toxic Thoughts".

"Your thoughts can get you into trouble, however, when the negative ones stop being occasional and become more frequent, habit-like, unrealistic, intense, and distorted. When that happens, you're experiencing toxic thinking."

"By controlling our toxic thinking, we can control our feelings."

As I am discovering by the number of "self-helpy" type b
...more
Cassandra
Jan 26, 2011 rated it liked it
Offered some helpful tips; well suited to anyone who finds themselves being occasionally irrationally negative in relationships. I'm glad I read it. We'll see if I can put Mr. Bernstein's methods into practice..
Andrea
Oct 08, 2008 rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: any woman
This book allowed me to see myself in a relationship and understand the thoughts I were having were sabotaging my own happiness. Regardless of the relationship this book will help anyone looking for answers from their partner....when their partner isn't talking.
Leah Afriat
rated it it was amazing
Dec 26, 2016
Gina Smith
rated it it was amazing
Aug 09, 2014
Brian Martinez
rated it liked it
Dec 26, 2013
Yvonne
rated it it was amazing
Apr 29, 2017
SpudGirl
rated it really liked it
Jul 19, 2019
Miguel Ortega
rated it it was amazing
Jan 25, 2014
Justin Ellenwood
rated it really liked it
Sep 13, 2015
Monique
rated it liked it
Dec 30, 2017
Lars
rated it really liked it
Feb 23, 2014
Kirsten
rated it it was ok
Oct 26, 2012
Carmela
rated it it was amazing
May 12, 2019
Drew Topel
rated it really liked it
Dec 05, 2017
Theann Faucher
rated it liked it
Dec 22, 2015
Melissa
rated it really liked it
Apr 27, 2019
Rachel
Dec 18, 2017 rated it it was amazing
Very useful.
David Hanley
rated it it was amazing
Jul 24, 2014
Janet
rated it really liked it
Sep 23, 2016
Kelly White
rated it liked it
Jun 29, 2017
Alyssa
rated it it was ok
Feb 20, 2012
Lisa
rated it really liked it
Dec 08, 2009
Kristin R. Walter
rated it it was amazing
May 11, 2017
Amrita
rated it it was amazing
Apr 23, 2012
« previous 1 3 4 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »

Readers also enjoyed

  • Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict
  • The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships, and Enhance Self-Esteem
  • Diary and Sundry Observations of Thomas Alva Edison
  • The Art of Selfishness
  • Conversations about the End of Time
  • Why I Stayed: The Choices I Made In My Darkest Hour
  • Devotions for Dating Couples: Building a Foundation for Spiritual Intimacy
  • Loving People: How to Love & Be Loved
  • Uncentering the Earth: Copernicus and The Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres
  • The World of Mathematics: A Four-Volume Set
  • The 30-Day Love Detox: Cleanse Yourself of Bad Boys, Cheaters, and Men Who Won't Commit - And Find a Real Relationship
  • Newton's Gift: How Sir Isaac Newton Unlocked the System of the World
  • Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
  • Choosing Clarity: The Path to Fearlessness
  • Beethoven's Letters
  • The Market for Liberty
  • Sleep Thieves: an Eye-Opening Exploration into the Science and Mysteries of Sleep
  • Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness
See similar books…
Jeffrey Bernstein, PhD, is a psychologist with over thirty years' experience specializing in child, adolescent, couples, and family therapy.