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He's Just Not That Into You

3.66  ·  Rating details ·  60,385 ratings  ·  3,422 reviews
Everyone can use a daily wake-up call.

Now in bite-size mantras, the abridged empathetic wit and wisdom of the number one New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That Into You will recharge and inspire your dating outlook one wake-up call at a time.

For ages women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. G
Hardcover, 208 pages
Published December 28th 2006 by Simon & Schuster Adult Publishing Group (first published October 7th 2004)
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هاي كورة لاين (hoped for?)Thank you this beautiful book, Good Working.
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(hoped for?)Thank you this beautiful book, Good Working.
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Average rating 3.66  · 
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Elizabeth Wallace
Eh, I wanted to hate this book. I dislike anything that the media (het hem, OPRAH) has picked up and run with and rammed down everybody's throats. I also hated the idea that, from what I heard, the author wants girls to be submissive, never make the first move, wait until the guy expresses interest, arrgh! Hated the idea, hate hate hate.

After I read it...I STILL hate it, but only because, in certain sections, the author's right. We all make excuses for why a guy we like doesn't sweep us off our
Because everyone wants to find true love...


But I've been married for a bjillion years, so why the hell am I reading this?
Eh. I saw my library had it, and thought it would be fun to find out if (according to Greg Behrendt) Hubs & I had done the whole dating thing right.

First week of dating:

According to the book, my main squeeze exhibited all the correct into you behavior, so I guess it's a good thing I went ahead and married the guy. And I think, for the most part, Greg is right about some of
Dec 03, 2007 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: someone who needs consoling, but no one who needs relationship progression
I like reading texts that are feminist in nature. I expected (hoped for?) a book that served to empower women in their relationships, a book that addressed historical deficiencies in the way women are culturally taught to function in relationships or the way that a woman may prevent a man from stifling her natural motion in romance. As a true feminist or pop-feminist text I wanted to feel that a woman, after having sifted through the pages, would be better equipped to dismantle cultural blockade ...more
Jul 30, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: every young woman...ever
If loving this book is shallow, then I don't want to be deep.

It's a really fucking simple concept, and it's entirely encompassed in the title. In fact, I love how the title totally sounds like it's uber harsh. In reality, telling you that "he's not really that into you" is about the nicest thing someone can do to you!

This isn't high literature by any stretch of the imagination (take the cue from the bright fucking pink cover), but the concept is so important to young women that if I ever have a
Such a revelatory book for anyone who has been neglected, ghosted, or given mixed signals by a man. The thesis of He's Just Not That Into You: if a guy is into you, he will take it upon himself to let you know. Despite some of the book's repetition, I love how the authors emphasize their central message of recognizing your self-worth and refusing to settle for someone who makes you doubt yourself. Essentially: do not settle for a man (or any human) who makes you wonder if he (or they) likes you. ...more
Mar 10, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: any single girl, or any girl in a crappy relationship
Recommended to Danielle by: Oprah
Every single girl should read this book, and live by it! Its a book that states the obvious to us girls, but we are too wrapped up to actually see the situation for what it is, being that 'hes just not that into you', Ive bought this book for a few of my single girlfriends, or gf's in crappy relationships.
It just makes sense. If he doesnt call you, he's just not that into you, period. seems to make complete sense. but how many of us sit around waiting for him to call?? lol
If he's not
Peter Derk
Last night I went to do laundry at my apartment and all three washers were filled with fluid. I'm not calling it "liquid." "Liquids" do not smell the way those washers smelled.

This is a long explanation of why I was at the laundromat at 11:30 PM on a Thursday skimming He's Just Not That Into You.

I guess it explains the locale more than the reading choice.

I ALSO have to give a presentation about books that might help a person's business. And because you can only read so much of that shit before
Good God, this book reeks of Stone Age, sexism and untifemininism.

The author, Greg Behrendt, is a comedian, worked as a consultant on Sex and the city, has been on tons of well known talk shows, and all this somehow made him into a Love Guru. He felt like he was sitting on so much knowledge, that could help clueless poor women, that he decided to write a book and share his wisdom with the world.

The reason I picked up this book, was because I wanted to read funny stories about dating. And this
Jun 25, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who date men.
Shelves: self-help
I think that no matter who you are, you're never too good for a low-brow self-help book. If you date men, you should read He's Just Not That Into You, because this book serves as a reminder to make sure you're being treated with the respect you deserve. After you read this book, you will save a lot of time you would have spent making excuses for some deadbeat.

The book's also written in a very humorous, breezy, and clear style. You can read it quickly but the advice will stick with you for many d
Feb 03, 2008 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: females
Recommended to Anna by: my friend Juliette
For better or worse, I LOVED this book and do consider it to be life altering for me (okay, to an extent...). I realize it's been trash talked times ten in the media since it first came out but I do think it's extremely underrated.

I read it as a first year grad student and remember all these light bulbs going off in my head as I eagerly scanned the pages for information. As I read the letters and stories in the book, so much of my life started making sense to me! I started to see what I was doi
Jul 13, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: folks frustrated with dating
The title is off-putting. But the idea is simple: why waste one moment of your precious time on somebody who doesn't think you're the cat's pajamas? If s/he doesn't dig you like you deserve to be dug, drop him/her, stop wasting your time barking up a lame tree.

This book is empowering - it has become my post-breakup manual, and my copy has notes in the margins about each of the lovely gents who, alas, were just not that into me. (It's also been informative using the book like this because it help
Mariah Roze
This book was really fascinating! Not only does it give good advice for women and let's them know that the excuses from men are not acceptable, but also how dating was very different 12 years ago. 12 years ago?! Like, that wasn't that long ago, but this book has a lot of differences in dating styles than I see around me today. It's just fascinating to learn about :)

Also, this book is a movie but don't let that fool you. This book is nothing like the movie. This is a self-help book! Not a story :
Where was this book when I was younger and dating?! This would have saved atleast a couple of tears over guys who did not deserve them. I might have acted a little less crazy as well. Just a little. But I must say there is a chapter I think they should have included, so I take it upon myself to add it here now. (sorry it is long)

He's just not that into you if he is gay

Because sweetie, he is gay.

Everyone wants to be loved and needed, especially by someone who is caring, who enjoys your company an
Karlyflower *The Vampire Ninja, Luminescent Monster & Wendigo Nerd Goddess of Canada (according to The Hulk)*
Disclaimer: I am not a fan of self-help books!

When I picked up a copy of He's Just Not That Into You I thought it was going to be the story the movie was based on. Now, I am aware that the book is, in fact, what the movie was based on; it is NOT a story! Rather it is a series of scenarios which Greg - our love guru, apparently - gives some black and white answers to.

I know this isn't a book for me, I am in a happy relationship with a wonderful man and beyond that, many of the "lessons" or "scen
Good but not great, offered some insight to what I try to tell some girls all the time but it was a fun book to read. Strictly for laughs and not too serious, so don't take this book so serious....unless you are that girl :).
Dec 07, 2007 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
from this book, i learned that apparently, all 5473 dates i've gone on in the last half year, as well as the 623 people who i've gone on them with, have been completely worthless and i was stupid to think otherwise. just plain stupid!! an advisable future plan is as follows: i must wade through a sea of unworthy men at a steady rate of about five dates per week, allowing myself to take no action outside of accepting or declining their suggestions. sadly, they are all bound to not be that into me ...more
May 08, 2007 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: women
Shelves: nonfiction, self-help
My co-workered referred to Greg (the author) as my "patron saint," and, for better or for worse, he's right. Greg has become the voice in my head when it comes to guys, mainly because he's always right. I wish this book had been around when I was younger, though it has become very useful in my 20's.

This is a book I constantly pick up again, just to refresh my memory, and just to feel a little bit better when I'm feeling down ("Don't Waste the Pretty"). It's funny, it's honest, and it's always ri
Jun 11, 2012 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I didn't even finish it.

I thought it was going to be an empowering book about women taking control of their choices, but instead i found a book that is just plain sexist.
I've never HATED a book before, but this might as well be my first.

So, ALL men are moved by sex? And they just like you or not? That thinking is called 'dichotomy thinking'. Is just as bad as when us women call all men bad- and it's plain NOT TRUE.

Yeah, there may be those kind of guys, but they are not the rule.
Men are not as bi
Feb 11, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I read this book a few years ago, after dating jerk after jerk. It helped wake me up to the part I was playing in allowing myself to be treated badly by jerks. It's the slap in the face every girl needs who ever made an excuse for a lame guy in her life. The book is split into sections that decode mysterious boy behavior, gives some real life examples, and tells how you should and should NOT deal with the scenario. It's sort of like having your best guy friend read you the riot act.
The movie ma
Maranda Bradfield
Single girls need to be reading this book probably about once a year, just in case no one in your life is reminding you how amazing you are. Don't waste the pretty on anyone who doesn't truly appreciate you and all that you are.

Merged review:

Single girls need to be reading this book probably about once a year, just in case no one in your life is reminding you how amazing you are. Don't waste the pretty on anyone who doesn't truly appreciate you and all that you are.
Jul 20, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: r-2004, non-fiction
While I don't necessarily agree with everything in the book, I get what the author is saying.

This slim, one hundred sixty-five page volume of humor, honesty, and tough love has given me an interesting outlook on relationships, men, women, and priorities.

Reading HJNTIY cracked me up as much as it opened my eyes. Just reading the introductions had me laughing out loud.

And sadly (and most embarrassingly), we [men:] would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you [women:] simply, 'You'r
Jun 15, 2009 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
I listened to the audiobook, read by the authors. And it's pretty hilarious, if you go for the whole "this is how I am, therefore, every man is that same way, therefore you should always only behave like this" thing. I mean, that's some serious research right there.

At the same time, I mostly think Greg is right. Women believe they are getting mixed signals from men, when really, the only thing they need to understand is that the absence of the right positive signals = negative signals. Or, he's
May 02, 2009 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book! If you only take one message away from this book let it be this: You are beautiful, you are worthy of being loved. Greg and Liz provide many examples of what love does NOT look like and while their tales are used to teach, they also entertain. I would recommend this book to every woman on this planet as its big aim is to help inflate women's self esteem, but I'd also go so far as to recommend this book to EVERYBODY because I'm a pop culture fiend and I believe there is value t ...more
Apr 15, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-development
So, I watched the movie once. No, twice, Well…. no, a million times for various i/logical,yet, clever reasons. It finally made me think, “ I already have one asshole, why would I need another one?” ;p

Maybe because of the casts? Or, maybe because of the feel of constant ‘punch’ while watching it? Either way, it finally got me to buy myself the book which were already published in 2004, and reprinted for the second time 4 years ago. Darn! I am obviously late; it has been out there for bloody three
Funny, insightful, and brutally honest, Greg Behrendt's He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys is a true winner!

Ever wondered what guys secretly mean by their words and actions? Greg gives a man's perspective on life, love and dating that is certainly an eye-opener for females. But the highlight of this book has to be Greg's overall message: that if he's just not that into you...then it's his loss. Because you're smart, sassy, and beautiful just the way you are
Jan 14, 2008 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: broken-hearted girls
Recommended to PlatKat by: April
It burns, it burns! I'm not talking about the truth... in that sense, this book confirms what I already know. It's just frustrating to read all these letters from women who have let such bullshit go on for so long, and Greg's response is pretty much the same every time.

Also, the book assumes you want a serious relationship. Personally, I don't. But I don't want to feel dicked around either. I assume that most women are smart enough to know the difference between dating around and getting played
Oct 30, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I read this book when I was about 19 and it gave me that moment were everthing I new about guys was thrown out the door! Reading this book is like a slap in the face and makes you feel guilty for all those embarrassing times you were watching your phone waiting for someone to call!
When really you should be out there doing things that make you happy, meeting the person who is going to call you and be there for you no matter what happens.

Having chased guys who I thought I was interested in, wasti
Jan 26, 2015 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
He's just not that into you has reinforced the teachings of my father and my best friends. Which I have to point out, the teachings that I never followed. I always thought I was a trailblazer making my own path and strolling on it as the rebel I was. Wrong. I was the girl who would find a guy that would always make me feel worse about myself and dull down my idea of happiness when I was more than capable of finding happiness on my own. I would rather live life with me loving myself, being happy ...more
Alex Ankarr
Dec 12, 2017 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
There are certain self-help/positive thinking/career or relationship advice/LOA books, where you just have to put the book down a minute and stop and think, "Are there really people out there who need this explaining to them?"

Yes, this is one of those. Despite that, it's funny, quirky, fun to read, and probably serves a useful purpose for the more credulous and easily-gulled amongst us. The movie wasn't bad, too.

ETA 28/03/2020: Bumped it up a point. I love these geezers. Greg Behrendt is such a
Dec 16, 2015 rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help
2.5* Another case of not much wrongness with it. The guy is annoying and I didn't agree with a lot of stuff that he wrote. I have met many shy guys, many timid and intimidated males. So, his argument
Is null and void to me. This being my first self-help book EVER it was fine. I just won't be reading anymore "help" books. I just was not into this book (bahahaha).
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Ask Greg and Amii...: Reasons for Being Single.. 2 77 Aug 29, 2013 07:37AM  

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Gregory Behrendt is an American stand-up comedian and author. His work as a script consultant to the HBO sitcom Sex and the City, starring Sarah Jessica Parker, paved the way for co-authoring of the New York Times bestseller He's Just Not That into You (2004), later adapted into a film by the same name. Apart from that he also hosted two short-lived talk shows, The Greg Behrendt Show (2006) and Gr ...more

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“A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the
woman he loves”
“Here's something else to think about: calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside.” 1127 likes
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