Three Ways to Capsize a Boat: An Optimist Afloat

by Chris Stewart

Three Ways to Capsize a Boat is travel writing at its best, crackling with Chris Stewart’s zest for life, irresistible humor, and unerring lack of foresight.

Chris Stewart had a long and eclectic list of jobs.  From some of the most glamorous careers--he was original drummer in Genesis--to the more offbeat--a sheep shearer and circus performer--he had done it all…or almost all.  So when he is offered the chance to captain a sailboat in the Greek islands one summer, something he had never done before, he jumped at the chance, even though he’d never actually sailed before.
 
So begins the hilarious and wild adventures of Three Ways to Capsize a Boat . From setting the boat on fire not once, but several times in the Aegean Sea to his not-so-grand arrival in Spetses to meet the owners of the boat (who says it isn’t graceful to plow into the docks as a means of coming to a stop?), Stewart quickly catches the sailing bug.

By the end of the summer, as he is facing the dreary prospect of going back to sheep shearing, he jumps at the chance to be part of a crew to follow Viking Leif Eiriksson’s historic journey across the Atlantic Ocean. From coming to terms with the long, cold nights at sea and unchanging cuisine to battling intense seasickness and managing to go to the bathroom during a massive storm (a lot harder than you’d think!), Stewart keeps his good humor, but learns, in the end, that perhaps the best things in life are worth coming ashore for.

Genres: Travel, Nonfiction, Memoir, Humor, Adventure, Biography, Sports

178 pages, Paperback

First published May 28, 2009

About the author

Christopher 'Chris' Stewart (born 1951), was the original drummer and a founding member of Genesis. He is now a farmer and an author. A classmate of Tony Banks and Peter Gabriel at Charterhouse School, Stewart joined them in a school band called The Garden Wall, and they later formed another band with schoolmates Mike Rutherford and Anthony Phillips, called Anon. This band eventually became Genesis in January 1967. Stewart appears on the band's first two singles, "The Silent Sun"/"That's Me" and "A Winter's Tale"/"One-Eyed Hound." Although several demos from Stewart's time with Genesis appear on the Genesis Archive 1967-75 box set, he is not credited with playing on any of them. (Peter Gabriel seems to have played drums on a couple, and the rest do not feature drums.)

At the recommendation of Jonathan King, Stewart was asked to leave the band in the summer of 1968 due to poor technique. He was replaced by John Silver. After travelling and working throughout Europe, Stewart settled and bought a farm named "El Valero" in the Alpujarras region of Andalucia, Spain where he lives and works with his wife Ana Exton and daughter Chloë. He came in last place for the position of local councillor in the 27 May 2007 local elections in Órgiva representing the Green Party, where he received 201 votes (roughly 8%).

He is now better known for his autobiographical books, Driving Over Lemons: An Optimist in Andalucia (1999, ISBN 0-9535227-0-9) and the sequels, A Parrot In The Pepper Tree (ISBN 0-9535227-5-X) and The Almond Blossom Appreciation Society (2006, ISBN 0-9548995-0-4), about his work farming in Spain. All three are also available as audiobooks (Lemons ISBN 0-14-180143-3; Parrot ISBN 0-14-180402-5), and Almond ISBN 0-7528-8597-9, narrated by Stewart.

Stewart's publisher, Sort of Books, announced plans to release yet another Stewart memoir in 2009, this one focused on sailing, entitled Three Ways to Capsize a Boat: An Optimist Afloat.

Stewart has also contributed to two books in the Rough Guides series: the Rough Guide to Andalucia and the Rough Guide to China.

Reviews

[Edith · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very funny... I admire his spirit and utter disregard for his life, lol. I've never been on a sailboat, but this was very inspiring and made me want to go test out my sealegs. Even when he was describing the terrible storms they sailed through, instead of being deterred, I wanted to experience it myself even more. Either he has a gift for writing or I have an equal disregard for my life...

[Erin Hendrian · Rating 2 out of 5]

Puzzling. The book is marketed as funny, and the situations the author finds himself in are often comical, but he doesn't quite seem to take advantage of the material - I found myself always waiting for a laugh and never quite reaching any punchline. So, perhaps he isn't one for comic timing and it's more of a travel book. Once I adapted I found the descriptions of the places and the sailing quite enjoyable (the transatlantic journey was especially interesting). Unfortunately, the scattered language and crassness spoil the "lighthearted travel book" sort of tone as well, and what could potentially have been a really great book never quite delivers.

[Philip Whiteland · Rating 3 out of 5]

Having read and enjoyed Chris Stewart's 'Driving Over Lemons' memoir, I grabbed this book when it came on offer. This is really two stories, one retelling how he came to learn to sail by the simple expedient of having volunteered to skipper an elderly American couple around the Greek Isles despite having no relevant experience. The second recounts a hazardous journey following the steps of the Vikings when they discovered North America. I'm no sailor, so I probably didn't get the full benefit of the stories but I did think that the second tale seemed like an exercise in masochism in which a number of people (including a child) were put at great risk for no apparent reason. But, as I said, I'm no sailor.

[T · Rating 3 out of 5]

A brief but entertaining read

Had a few laugh-out-loud moments. More or less like sitting around with someone over a long weekend and him/her telling you stories from their past. Found the long sailing trip most interesting and appreciated the detail.

[Luis · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chris ve peligrar su situación económica al no poder seguir manteniendo la inversión de su rebaño de ovejas. Llega justo a tiempo la petición de una adinerada anciana de que cuide de su barco en las Islas Griegas, de manera que lo tenga listo para cuando ella vaya en verano a disfrutarlo. Chris no duda en aceptar el trabajo. De hecho, el no haber montado en un barco en su vida no le parece un problema. Tras recibir una acelerada formación de patrón de barco, Chris afronta el encargo con bastante precariedad y acaba afianzando una habilidad que le traerá la oportunidad de realizar un viaje trasatlántico.

Es una mala idea comenzar a leer este libro bajo la premisa de que su autor es un brillante humorista en sus anteriores novelas, las cuales no he leído. Este no es un libro de humor, a pesar de que haya algunos momentos extremadamente divertidos en su primera parte. Y tampoco diría que es un libro de viajes, ya que para ello haría falta mucha más documentación. Se trata más bien de un libro de experiencias, contado desde la naturalidad de alguien que no se esperaba un futuro viajando en veleros y donde es capaz de escribir su contacto con el mar como el descubrimiento de una refrescante realidad que desconocía. Resulta simpático. En muchos momentos sobra información y en otros falta a raudales, véase respectivamente, sobre los términos marítimos o sobre el diario de a bordo. Su estilo directo hace que este peculiar autor sea fácil de digerir, pero quizás poco permanente.

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've enjoyed all of Chris Stewart's books about his life on his farm in Spain. This was totally different and detailed his adventures at sea. Written in his usual easy way with wonderful descriptions of all the characters.

[Remo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tras haber descubierto a Chris Stewart por su último libro, empiezo por el primero, cronológicamente hablando, aunque se publicó en cuarto lugar. Este señor tiene un don para hablar sobre cualquier cosa y que sea interesante. Es un grandísimo escritor. En este primer libro (todos sus libros son autobiográficos) nos cuenta dos aventuras relacionadas. En la primera, el autor acepta ser patrón de yate de una pareja mayor, amigos de una amiga, por las islas griegas durante todo el verano. Con un pequeño inconveniente: no ha pisado un barco en su vida. Así que en los pocos meses que quedan antes de comenzar su aventura en la isla griega de Spetses decide apuntarse a un cursillo de patrón de yate. Por no quedar mal, básicamente.
La aventura sale bien, más o menos, y la segunda parte del libro es la narración de un viaje, mucho más serio, desde Inglaterra a Terranova pasando por Noruega, Islandia y Groenlandia en un pequeño barco velero. Las vicisitudes del Atlántico norte en toda su gloria. Me sentí transportado a mi brevísima etapa de (pseudo)marino porque, aunque su experiencia y la mía son bastante distintas, hay cosas que no cambian cuando uno sale bajo las estrellas, en mitad de la negrura, a contemplar el infinito mar; yo también crucé el Atlántico en barco (2 veces, ida y vuelta), aunque con alguna pequeña diferencia con el autor. Yo hice un Rota-Puerto Rico pasando por Azores y un Fort Lauderdale-Lisboa en una fragata de 5000 toneladas, y él hizo un Southampton-Rhode Island vía Bergen y Reikjavik en un velero de 7 plazas, comiéndose un par de galernas del Atlántico Norte que ríase usted de las tormentas de aquí. Cierto es que yo me comí un huracán entre Cuba y Haití durante el cual descubrí que los limpiaparabrisas del puente de una fragata, situados a 13 metros sobre el agua, no son para la lluvia sino para las olas.
En cualquier caso, y dejando aparte el interés que una crónica náutica tiene para mí, el libro está muy bien escrito. No llega al nivel de lirismo del otro libro del autor que he leído, pero desde luego deja con ganas de más. Y aún tengo tres libros más por devorar. Muy recomendable.

[Pianobikes · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Resultaba de lo más curioso, pues no había pisado un barco en mi vida ni sabía absolutamente nada de navegación; pero estaba desesperado por conseguir un trabajo, de modo que me pareció que lo mejor sería guardar en secreto pequeños detalles sin importancia como ese” ~ Tres maneras de volcar un barco de Chris Steward.

Chris Steward fue uno de los primeros a baterías del grupo Genesis. En este libro narra su historia con 29 años cuando decidió aceptar un trabajo para patronear un yate por el Mediterráneo en verano. Hasta aquí todo normal si no fuese por el detalle de que Chris no había subido jamás en su vida a un barco. Así que, desesperado por encontrar trabajo, aceptó la oferta, hizo un curso rápido de navegación, se embulló en léxico náutico y se embarcó.

No contento con cumplir su trabajo, más tarde se apuntó a la aventura de cruzar el Atlántico por el norte hasta Terranova pasando por Islandia y bordeando Groenlandia y sus aguas turbulentas.

Si hay un libro con el que me he reído sin poder parar es este. Ahora, con ganas de aflorar toda esa tensión que llevamos dentro, lo he vuelto a coger y me he vuelto a reír. Está narrado en primera persona por Chris y desde luego no puede ser más divertido.

Se lee de un tirón ya que además de corto (menos de 200 páginas) tiene una narración muy fluida. Si tienes conocimientos náuticos no puedes dar crédito a semejante aventura porque el mar es el mar, no nos vamos a engañar, pero supongo que la confluencia de la juventud del autor, su desesperación, el atrevimiento y la ignorancia fueron el cóctel explosivo que generó las situaciones jocosas (porque no hay que pasar por ellas claro) que narra en el libro.

[Ellen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Chris Stewart was recommended by a friend to be the skipper of a sailboat in the Greek islands for a summer in the 1980's. The wealthy ship owners hired Chris without knowing much about him and the fact that he had never sailed might have been a good thing to know. Undaunted, Chris quickly took sailing lessons and declared himself ready to go. Setting the boat on fire several times in the Aegean Sea was probably not all his fault but it did not bode well. He actually came to love sailing during that summer and managed to please the boat owners and their friends.

Summer over, Chris returned to England, his long-time and long-suffering girlfriend Ana, and his job as a sheep shearer. When he was approached by his original sailing instructor to sign on for a trip retracing Lief Erickson's voyage across the Atlantic, Chris jumped at the chance. After all, what could be so different from the Aegean Sea? As Chris would come to learn, there is a whole ocean of differences. Storms, freezing temperatures, fog, ice -- but the adventure of a lifetime.

I enjoyed Chris' adventures, and misadventures, quite a bit. Unfortunately I know zilch about sailing so a lot of the terms meant absolutely nothing to me and it tended to bog down the tale a tad. He is definitely an interesting man with quite a story to tell.

[Anne Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

My husband has a yearning to learn to sail. The idea is for us to buy a boat for sailing around Britain and further afield to places like the Med now we’ve retired. I was feeling a little nervous at this suggestion and thought that reading an entertaining yarn of learning to sail would make me feel better. Not a bit of it! I was thoroughly entertained but Chris Stewart has made me feel more nervous, if anything, with his tales of growlers, rocks and engines on fire. Ah well. I plan to get my husband to read this next in the hope he’ll come to his senses. If not, hopefully I shall fall in love with sailing as Chris did.

[Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun!

This was just a delightful book, which brought back vivid memories of messing about in a tiny sailboat in my youth. Mr. Stewart and company embarked on some ambitious voyages, particularly given his level of boating expertise. His love for the experience shines through, and his enthusiasm causes me to at least briefly consider sailing again.

[Maricruz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pues no, Chris Stewart no me ha fallado. Tal como esperaba me he reído mucho, y en los momentos en que no lo estaba haciendo, estaba disfrutando de una lectura amena y llena de detalles interesantes. Le pongo cinco estrellas de puro agradecimiento por el buen rato, y porque creo sinceramente que Chris Stewart es buen escritor, muy en la línea de Gerald Durrell.

[Yolanda Morros · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este libro autobiográfico es muy marinero... nos narra sus vivencias cuando una amiga le ofrece ser el patrón de un velero para navegar en las islas griegas. La propuesta le parece un sueño, pero hay un problema... Chris no ha navegado nunca. En la segunda parte del libro nos cuesta su experiencia en una travesía a través del Atlántico Norte.
Chris, batería del mítico grupo Génesis, es un gran escritor, un excelente narrador. El libro está muy bien escrito, lleno de humor, ironía, positivismo y gratitud a la vida.
Me ha encantado!

[John · Rating 2 out of 5]

A quick read. There were a couple of chuckles but much of the humor seemed to be very self-deprecating. It left me more face-palming than laughing, and amazed that this fellow survived all the dumb mistakes that he made. Also an awkward book terminologically; the author feels compelled to explain sailing terms sometimes, but I'm not sure how effective these limited explanations would be for someone who doesn't already sail, and they're largely wasted on those who do. I don't feel like I learned much here.

[Kirsten Paoline König · Rating 5 out of 5]

Instant favoriet. En nu wil ik naar Bristol Channel Pilot Cutters kijken op yachtworld.com en erop wonen en rondzeilen naar Griekenland, Scandinavië en de rest van de wereld.

[Luke · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the prequel to Driving Over Lemons, Chris Stewart's Three Ways to Capsize a Boat describes his adventures at sea, prior to farming in the Alpujarran mountains. The novel is divided into three sections, each recalling a different experience: the first was mildly amusing, though relatively short; the second was much more entertaining, with vibrant characters and pleasant Greek surroundings; and the third was quite uninteresting, due to the generally dull environment and abundance of boating references.

If you enjoyed Driving Over Lemons, you'll probably still find something to like in Three Ways to Capsize a Boat.

Rating: 3.9/5

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

A perfect adventure book - showing that setting yourself a challenge and learning a new skill is not all plain sailing! Meeting new people, having fun and exploring life will always provide a tale to tell and enrich your existence.

[Yue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even better than the lemons! Learnt a bit more how come people love the sea so much. Genuine, daring, awkward in a funny way, just go with it!

[Josephine · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of my all-time favourite travel books is by Chris Stewart.

I think a great writer can make almost anything sound interesting — mainly because they have an innate interest in everything about their lives. And the bonus about Stewart is that he’s not afraid to make fun of himself. While his books aren’t exactly laugh-out-loud-funny, they put a smile on my face.

I think the fact that I loved “Driving Over Lemons” so much was the main reason I bought “Three Ways to Capsize A Boat” — which brings me to an important lesson: never buy a book simply because you liked other stuff that an author wrote.

The book wasn’t horrible — I liked it, actually — but it didn’t equal the writing in “Driving Over Lemons.”

“Three Ways To Capsize A Boat” is about one of Stewart’s many jobs (and he’s had many — ranging from being a sheep shearer to a circus performer).

When he’s offered the chance to captain a sailboat in the Greek Islands one summer, he goes for it — even though he’s never sailed a boat in his entire life.

There are a couple of funny moments — like when he accidentally sets the boat’s engine on fire a couple of times and didn’t even have a bucket to help scoop out sea water to douse the flames.

But at 173 pages, this is a small book — and I think if he’d wanted to, he could have been more in depth about a lot of things. Instead, what you get is an almost rushed, cursory look at what was probably a really interesting chapter of his life.

The book is divided into several sections — the longest of which chronicles his stint joining a crew that planned on retracing Viking Leif Eriksson’s historic journey across the Atlantic Ocean. That meant five months on a small boat with seven other people, sailing through the frigid Atlantic.

There was one line that I particularly liked in the book:
“Sadly, albatross rarely come north of the line, so we didn’t get to spot one, and I fear that a certain restlessness has now descended on my soul — in that special place where we keep our thwarted ambitions.” (p.106)

How could you not like a guy who writes like that?

[David · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a random library selection, as I noodled about looking for something to read on a cruise.

Ah, providence. Stewart is a wonderful, amiable writer...one who apparently was also the first drummer for the band Genesis. His writing, drawn from his travels and his life as a farmer/sailor/prog rock legend? Actually amazing.

Completely enjoyable, breezy, and delightful.

And if you're spending time peering out across the ocean's vastness to the horizon, there are few better books to occupy your time.

[Enikő · Rating 4 out of 5]

A wise woman by the name of "Mom" once told me that the night before an exam, you must go out to the movies. Well, I couldn't very well do that tonight; I read this wonderful little book instead.

The other parents in the gymnastics viewing room may have found me a little odd, sitting in the front row of plastic chairs, shaking silently (attempting to do it silently anyway!) with laughter.

Three Ways to Capsize a Boat is funny. The stories are funny,the writing is funny, and I probably looked a little funny reading it.

Chris Stewart, a founding member of Genesis (he played on their first album), has a witty way with words. In this short (too short!) book, he tells of how he came to the sea, accepting a job as skipper when he had never even sailed before. (His grand entrance when his boss first saw him sail was crashing into a dock with her boat, which he had gone to fetch for her, and which was on fire.) Chris goes on to tell of his crossing the Atlantic in the footsteps (or wake?) of the Vikings, sailing to Vinland (Newfoundland.) At the end of the book, when things were getting a tad bit too serious and nostalgic, Chris went out with a bang (okay: Splash!) by telling of how, now a seasoned sailor, he took his girlfriend sailing and succeeded in capsizing the boat. Not to worry, though: everything was hilarious! :D

Amidst the funny stuff that happened, I also really liked reading about the people met along the way, and especially about the chickens in Iceland that are tied to small rocks that are small enough for the chickens to drag around, but heavy enough to keep the chickens from being blown away by the wind and into the fjord. There are so many other little gems like this in the book, along with a hilarious account of trying to pee off the lee side of a boat during a full-force gale, but I won't ruin it all by telling it. Go read the book! It's a quick read and well worth it!

[Clare O'Beara · Rating 5 out of 5]

This short, fun and light read makes us marvel that the author survived. With no sailing experience he gets a job from a rich relative to skipper her little yacht around the Med for her. Snag; the boat is laid up in a shipyard and nobody in Greece has any interest in doing the work.

By this time the author has sensibly taken a day's sailing opportunity and a short instruction course near the Isle of Wight. He's got the glimmering of an idea that matters can go very wrong and he would be a long way from help. Having over a few weeks managed to get the Cornish crabber repaired, Chris then sets out delightedly - only to find the engine going on fire. And he doesn't have a bucket.

That idyll would make anyone want a small boat and to sail on the Med. The next experience though, crewing with friends who were retracing the steps of Vikings across to Newfoundland, via Denmark, Iceland and Greenland, even in summer, proves horrendous. I can't understand how the skipper of that boat felt justified in bringing his four year old daughter. Seeing a whale and pod of dolphins seems to make the hardships worthwhile.

Self-deprecating and painfully honest, Chris is also looking back at his youthful days and admitting to all the foolhardiness and mistakes which make this such an amusing narrative.

[Nancy · Rating 3 out of 5]

During my beginner sailing lessons at the lake this month, we do "capsize drills" that help me understand what to do not IF but WHEN! Ha! Anyway, the title of this book grabbed my attention and did not disappoint.

The author provides personal stories about sailing, beginning when he was completely unfamiliar with nautical terms and situations (again, I can relate!) and on to his voyage as crew across an unrelenting ocean. Along the way he's thoughtful and funny.

p. 68 "And the beauty, the incomparable beauty, of sailing boats is a thing that has settled deep in my heart and it's hard to get rid of it. Of all the beautiful things that mankind has created, it's the tea clipper, racing home from China under full press of sail, that is the absolute zenith for me."
p. 69 "And the fact that there is so much lore and literature about boats is because sailing goes back to the dawn of history; it goes deep into the genes of our island races, and if one is not a lover of poetry and literature, then there are few better ways to become one one that to spend time sailing in small boats."

A good read!

[Jen]

"Far and few, few and far, / Are the lands where the Jumblies live; / Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, / And they went to see in a Sieve." There's a good reason Chris Stewart quotes this Edward Lear verse several times in this book--his two sailing stories here seem almost as foolish as going to sea in a sieve. In the first one, through some odd, never explained miscommunication, he is offered the job of captaining a yacht around the Greek islands one summer, EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NO SAILING EXPERIENCE. And he says yes. In the second part, he sails on a bitterly cold voyage to retrace Leif Eriksson's route to North America. The author, who was the original drummer for the band Genesis, narrates with classic British humor and an irrepressible sense that everything will work out okay. I'm giving this one on to my husband next.

[Louise Jones · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had heard a lot about this writer with his lemon tree book so was interested to have a read i was slightly dissapointed with it as although raised a few smirks not many!! i got more into it as read deeper in to the waters but at times especially at the begining slightly tedious but was a quickish read so never wasted to much time would be interested to read his other stuff saying all that i am not a sailor always glad to get off the ferry going over the mersey !!!

[John Haake · Rating 5 out of 5]

Certainly not a deep meditative book, but instead a light memoir covering two significant events in the life of the author.

Well written, and certainly brings the reader to the scene. I envoy the man's luck in falling into the sailing life. As pretty much a land-lover, I think I have a bit of a yearning for the sea (which is tough living in Ohio).

Read this book. I look forward to taking in some of his earlier works.

[Marc Thomas · Rating 1 out of 5]

Just another excuse for Chris Stewart to reel off some tidbits about his early life without even getting out of bed. At first, the blurb looked promising, but I soon realised that the book was a series of flimsy tales woven together as a new Lemons adventure, but far from it.
This was as dull as ditchwater and I wish I'd never bought it now.

[Cindypbarnard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Three short, true stories about this guy learning to sail and his early experiences. The first two stories are light and sometimes silly. But the third and longest is about a trip he took with 6 others from England to Norway across the North Atlantic to Iceland on a small sailboat. It was a harrowing trip and written from the heart. That one was GOOD.

[Diane Ploussard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny, true and wonderful.

He goes off on an adventure with little knowledge but a lot of enthusiasm. His sense of humor is keen and his writing kept me wanting to keep the pages turning. I cannot wait to read more of his works.

[Derek Mcknight · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent! Great tale from a natural story teller! The author goes from land lubber to seasoned seaman in a short space of time, deals with the trials and tribulations of maritime life and manages to fish the girl of his dreams too! Thoroughly recommended