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406 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2009
--- Tucker Crowe
a. A packet of crisps – just a snack, really, and not a very healthy one at that.
b. A juicy burger with cheddar and a good, though not snooty, bottle of wine – familiar and tasty, substantial but not overdone.
c. Poached Scottish Lobster with fennel puree, broad bean panisse and huckleberry emulsion – ultra-refined and highfalutin.
d. Hot dogs and apple pie – as American as it gets; decidedly not bangers and mash with spotted dick.
a. Arsenal supporters are the salt of the earth and paragons of the English Premiership.
b. Lists of favorite things should come in sets of five.
c. It’s what you like, not what you are like that matters.
d. Sprees should only ever be polysyllabic.
a. Shakespeare performed in modern undress.
b. The perlustration of a Gordian soul laid bare for us all to behold.
c. A sandwich order at Sol’s Delicatessen .
d. A new Tucker Crowe CD of old demo cuts put out 20 years after his far more polished album called “Juliet”; Duncan over-praised it, having been honored with the first public copy, and Annie panned it for being rough-hewn thus causing a rift.
a. Green M&Ms before a show to the exclusion of all others.
b. Snappy comebacks when requests for “Free Bird” were shouted from the crowd.
c. Wine and women (to accompany song – accompanying to excess).
d. Spandex and vomit.
a. “There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.”
b. “The truth about autobiographical songs, he realized, was that you had to make the present become the past, somehow: you had to take a feeling or a friend or a woman and turn whatever it was into something that was over, so that you could be definitive about it. You had to put it in a glass case and look at it and think about it until it gave up its meaning, and he'd managed to do that with just about everybody he'd ever met or married or fathered. The truth about life was that nothing ever ended until you died, and even then you just left a whole bunch of unresolved narratives behind you. He'd somehow managed to retain the mental habits of a songwriter long after he'd stopped writing songs, and perhaps it was time to give them up.”
c. "I rock, therefore I am."
d. "I rocked, therefore I was."
a. Labyrinthine structuring and enigmatic presuppositions.
b. Laconic dialog and ornamental prose .
c. Dickensian post-modernism and Kafkaesque pastoralism.
d. Rich character development and flowing, accessible style.
a. Witty, warm and emotionally generous.
b. Unctuous, otiose, uncouth and unyielding .
c. Serendipitous, existential and solecistic.
d. Bald, bawdy and laddishly dissolute.
a. 289 pages of endnotes.
b. Wiki entries about Tucker’s career which, while clever to have included as a way to list facts, were unrealistically detailed and subjective.
c. A pesky gnat that, as chaos theory suggests is possible, caused a train crash in Bolton.
d. Certain GR reviewers who think increasingly in terms of gimmicks.
a. It’s possible to venture too far into the cult of celebrity, especially when the internet brings these people together with mutually reinforcing geekiness.
b. Regret for time lost can be poignant.
c. Artistic integrity is a tricky thing once the artist is acclaimed for what he knows to be emotional frauds and egos get stroked.
d. All of the above.
e. None of the above.
f. Some of the above.
a. It should include only one or the other, a zombie or a vampire, not both.
b. A gun introduced in Act II must necessarily be fired in Act III.
c. It lost its steam just when it would have been most interesting to see relationships develop and clear messages sent.
d. "After all, tomorrow is another day" had already been done, and done better.