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Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression

Brooke Shields

3.71 · Rating details · 3,476 ratings · 489 reviews

In this compelling memoir, Brooke Shields talks candidly about her experience with postpartum depression after the birth of her daughter, and provides millions of women with an inspiring example of recovery. When Brooke Shields welcomed her newborn daughter, Rowan Francis, into the world, something unexpected followed--a crippling depression. Now, for the first time ever, ...more

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Hardcover, 226 pages

Published April 26th 2006 by Hachette Books (first published May 3rd 2005)

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Oct 24, 2020 Caroline rated it really liked it

This book was a great comfort to me when I had post natal depression. It beautifully explains all the emotions and turmoils of being a new mum and helped me to feel not so alone.
Obviously, her life is completely different. I remember crying when she said she hired a night nurse. I was exhausted and couldn’t afford one. I would really love to read a book about a working class mum struggling with post natal depression and how she coped as all the books I’ve read, the women hire nannies!!!

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Nov 21, 2007 Missy rated it really liked it

I read this because I really struggled after my baby was born, and I had heard that Brooke Shields had, also. There were times while reading this that I thought, "It's as if Brooke Shields read my mind when I was a new mom!" She had her baby before me, but still. It was weird how so many of the feelings and thoughts she described were exactly like ones I had. I couldn't relate to the rest of her life, such as when she talked about being on Broadway, having homes in NYC and LA, or hiring a baby n ...more

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Aug 30, 2007 Emily rated it it was ok

When I first heard that Brooke Shields had suffered from postpartum depression, my heart went out to her. Just the hormones, alone, from having a baby can leave you on an emotional rollercoaster. That being said, I went into this book with a lot of sympathy. My attitude quickly changed. *Down Came the Rain* reads like a manual for how to have a baby. Aside from the fertility issues (if my own husband sneezes in the same room as me I get pregnant), I might have been reading excerpts from my OWN c ...more

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Apr 05, 2009 stephanie rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2009, crazypeoplememoirs, memoirs

i am so happy this book was written. not just for PPD women, but for people dealing with depression in general. it's so true; it's so real to the way it feels, and the way it breaks families and relationships apart.

it is a selfish thing, and it is so difficult to understand when you aren't in it. i love the way brooke's perspective changes, how you can see the despair begin and then the climb out, and how meds aren't the end all.

i really felt a kinship with her struggle to decide to go on meds ...more

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Feb 04, 2008 Andrea rated it it was ok

So I choose to read this book because of my curiosity with postpartum depression and I was told it was an honest account. True it is honest, but the writing was less than fair... (I never knew that she had a degree in French literature from Princeton, maybe she'd have done better if she had written it in French?) Don't get me wrong, I applaud her for writing so candidly about postpartum depression and the thoughts/feelings that go along with it. She is brave for doing so and has probably helped ...more

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Jul 16, 2008 Emily rated it really liked it

I was interested in this book because my mother developed severe postpartum depression after having her last baby - my little brother. I wanted to learn more about it and remembered when this book came out a few years ago.

Brooke Shields lets you into her private world to discuss what it was like to develop severe postpartum depression very soon after having her first child. It was very informative and cast light onto that dark dusty corner that most people prefer not to look at, because of lack ...more

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May 30, 2008 Megan rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction

Very moving. A great book to read if you think you are going through, KNOW you are going through, or have already been through Postpartum Depression. Reading it after being diagnosed with it myself made me feel like I was not the only one to go through those emotions. There are not a whole lot of books written about Postpartum Depression- let alone one that is NOT a textbook type. It is hard to deal with, let alone telling someone (or the whole world) that you have/had it, there is a terrible st ...more

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Jan 14, 2021 Koren rated it liked it

Shelves: medical

I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style. I thought she went into way too much detail about her fertility treatments and childbirth. I kept thinking 'poor little rich girl'. But then if she didnt it wouldn't have been a very long book as it is only 225 the way it is and a quick read. If it had been longer I dont think I would have stuck with it. That said, for someone who is going through postpartum depression it would probably be a help just to know others have been through the same thing. It a ...more

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Jan 13, 2009 Bethany Royer rated it really liked it

I'm torn. While the message is incredibly important, having myself gone through PPD, the writing style left much to be desired.

Unfortunately, "Down Came the Rain," appeared to have been Shield's private journal that was immediately put to print without a single bit of editing. The story had no flow, jumping confusedly from one thought to the next. It is quite the work to get through but considering how few people are willing to talk about PPD, to admit of its existence and for so many, like mys ...more

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Feb 21, 2016 Kim rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Recommended to Kim by: Mom

Shelves: non-fiction

My mom picked this up in the $1 bin and recommended it to me a while back, knowing my weakness for celebrity memoirs. I ended up listening to the audiobook. I never noticed how much Brooke Shields and Terry Farrell (the actress who plays Jadzia Dax in DS9) sound alike until now. It was hard not to imagine Jadzia, wearing a teal and black jumpsuit, explaining her journey into motherhood in Quark's bar...

I really appreciated Brooke's transparency. I could relate with many of her experiences which ...more

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Jun 15, 2008 Jenn rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: all new moms

MY husband bought this book for me a few days after I was diagnosed with major post partum depression. Only after seeing an interview with Brooke Shields on a morning tv show did I finally get help. I didn't understand what was wrong with me -- when I heard her speak about what she had been through I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief that someone else had had the same thoughts and feelings. Though it is not the most well written book it is very realistic and for the most part relatable. ...more

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Sep 09, 2013 pages for breakfast 📚☕️ (formerly Readage) rated it really liked it

Shelves: autobiography-memoir, non-fiction, touched-my-heart, can-t-put-down, psychology, library-books, true-story

From my blog: https://bookgirl1987thoughts.wordpres...

Last December I finished one of the best celebrity memoirs I’ve ever read. Usually the words “celebrity memoir” turn me off immediately, but I feel fortunate to have made time for this one. It is always a small miracle when a famous actor writes a book about themselves and manages to decenter their life and career in Hollywood from the narrative. I loved that Hollywood was on the periphery of the story, and that the book focused on something From my blog: https://bookgirl1987thoughts.wordpres...

Last December I finished one of the best celebrity memoirs I’ve ever read. Usually the words “celebrity memoir” turn me off immediately, but I feel fortunate to have made time for this one. It is always a small miracle when a famous actor writes a book about themselves and manages to decenter their life and career in Hollywood from the narrative. I loved that Hollywood was on the periphery of the story, and that the book focused on something much more universally understood than the chaotic world of film stars on movie sets. There is no gloss and glamour between these pages; nothing but an honest and heartbreaking account of human suffering, desperation, and eventually, redemption. Brooke Shields describes her very personal struggle to survive new motherhood with clarity and consistency. I feel that she spared the reader no detail in giving the full portrait of her postpartum depression.

In the first half of the book, Shields documents her journey to motherhood swiftly, with a keen, unwavering eye on the critical events that lead to a simultaneous “birth” (her daughter’s) and “death” (what felt like her own.) She lifts the veil on what could essentially be any woman’s living nightmare: having a child and losing everything else. She starts out on her journey with a determined, laser-like focus on achieving fertility. She tries every medical procedure available in order to get pregnant, (which requires patience and more patience, something she admits to having little of), finally gets pregnant (has a pretty calm pregnancy), and has an intensely difficult labor (C-section). When her daughter finally arrives at the end of a long and torturous road, Shields is exhausted and finds herself at a loss for how to care for her new child and herself. It seems the child she so desperately fought for has been delivered at a cost she cannot bear: her sanity.

While slowly recovering from a C-section delivery (which disappoints and relieves Shields at the same time), she realizes that something is very wrong. What at first appears to be general anxiety while learning the ropes of motherhood, soon becomes a major burden for Shields and her family of three. From labor onward, she has felt no connection whatsoever to her child and finds she cannot even look at her new child without feeling strange and deeply cynical. In one section of the book, while Shields is still in the hospital, she admits to staring at her daughter’s face and desperately searching for some kind of bond between the two of them, which in her mind does not exist at all. She admits to feeling as if she had just given birth to someone else’s child, and tries to apologize to her child for her lack of maternal instinct and general, paralyzing fear. Breastfeeding feels to Shields like an exercise in torture, and she struggles with feelings of resentment of the whole situation as well as her fear that her child will sense her “rejection” and reject her in turn. Shields spends several weeks in a degenerative depression that she blames on her inadequacies and partly on her daughter, in her weakest moments. She grapples with thoughts of suicide when the fog does not let up and begins to lose faith in everything that had once brought her happiness and contentment. The two most important people in her life (her husband and her new child, Rowan) seem to be suffering greatly on account of her inability to cope. Her guilt mounts and the walls seem to be closing in. She describes her thoughts on pages 71 and 72:

“I was desperate to have a natural and healthy connection with my daughter, but it was feeling so forced. It was as if I were trapped behind a thick glass wall. I had never felt apathy in my life, and when I had least expected it, it crept in and took over. I couldn’t shake the feeling of doom and gloom that pervaded each moment. I was afraid of myself and felt threatened by the dangerous thoughts running so calmly through my head. They all felt too real. When would I wake up from this bad dream?”

Eventually, the sadness does not pass (she pretty much bypasses the “baby blues” on the way to postpartum depression) and it dawns on Shields that she needs help. The major problem with this recognition is that she doesn’t realize what she needs help for, or how to reach out for it. The initially comforting words from family and friends have morphed into comments of alarm and uneasiness, and her endless crying jags and self-pity parties add up to more depression than she thought humanly possible. She constantly wonders: “Why don’t I love my daughter? Why can’t I express my love for her?”

The second half of the book focuses on Shields’ attempts at finding herself again while remaining oblivious to her diagnosis. Friends give her literature on postpartum depression and it goes unread for the longest time, while she waits for the clouds to lift. When she is finally prescribed an anti-depressant by her doctor, she fears addiction and swears off medication. Eventually, she considers the drug, only after being continually persuaded that she won’t become addicted and won’t be on it forever. After a brief but successful stint on the drug Paxil, she decides she’s feeling better and discontinues it. Her symptoms quickly return, and she realizes she doesn’t know enough about her situation to play doctor. She finally sits down to read the material given to her and identifies with every symptom and personal story she encounters. Armed with the knowledge that she has an actual disorder and isn’t going “crazy,” Shields feels lighter but isn’t out of the woods yet. She finds a doctor who further educates her on the “mind/body connection,” and soon she is seeing a therapist and taking her medication. Things start to look much better for all involved, and her relief is palpable at every new step taken toward repairing the “damage” done.

Throughout much of the book, Shields remains conflicted by the assumption that she should have the strength and energy to be a working mother. While trying medication and therapy, she experiments with both options (working, both with and without her daughter) and finds neither a satisfactory fit. Her guilt over neglecting her work or her child is too much to bear, so she chooses the more important of the options and returns to “mommying” full-time. Her symptoms lessen to the point where she and Rowan start developing in a more natural way, but she fears jeopardizing her progress. She finds a nice balance (working on a formula shoot, a four-hour miniseries, and a few episodes on “That ‘70s Show”) but steadily returns to motherhood with open arms after each project. (This is the kind of validation she has been looking for in the midst of her depression, the sign that being a mother has officially replaced being an actress.)

By the time the New Year rolls around, Shields and her little family are intact once again, and Rowan has not suffered emotionally or developmentally from her mother’s illness. Shields continues her prescribed journey to wellness, and finds that time and a little assistance can mean the difference between coming out from under the covers, or not. She not only closes the book on a positive note of her own story, she also offers information to readers regarding postpartum depression: how it can be predicted and detected, and finally, how it can be treated. She emphasizes the importance of knowing what you’re dealing with (an actual disorder as opposed to exhaustion and/or insanity), and frames the whole ordeal with the hindsight that she saw her situation through uneducated eyes. She ends the book with a few regrets, as only a type-A, managerial personality can, but she also ends with a tried-and-true promise that things will and can get better. For anyone. ...more

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Sep 12, 2018 Charissa rated it really liked it

This book resonated so profoundly with me on so many levels. While I didn’t face the infertility struggles, I recall the terrifying experience of delivering my first son. I related to her feelings of fear for her own life while complications arose that were out of her control, for the mental and physical exhaustion that followed, for the difficult recovery that I was unprepared for.

There were few areas of her journey that I couldn’t relate to, in some way. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by m ...more

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Sep 29, 2017 Carly Marino rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 5-star-loved-recommend

I really enjoyed this book. It's hard to read if you've never experienced or known someone who has experienced postpartum depression, but I assure you it's a real thing. Brooke Shield exposes herself in a raw, realistic manner. This topic is extremely tough to talk about and share with others. I give her so many props for being brave and writing this story to help other suffers, letting them know they aren't alone. ...more

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Nov 14, 2020 Alyssa A rated it it was amazing

I read this book probably 12 plus years ago. It helped me through a difficult time of postpartum depression. Highly recommend!

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Jun 26, 2008 elizabeth_agd rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: Anyone suffering from postpartum depression

Recommended to elizabeth_agd by: Jenn Neeb

I appreciated Brooke's honesty in how she described her experiences. Some of her points felt a little over-stated and went on but the writing was interesting. Several key components of her experiences really resonated with me. The experiences were bang on with what I was feeling before and during my diagnosis and it was almost a relief to hear that I wasn't an abnormality.

First, when she had a hard time defining herself after her daugher was born because "up until now, I realized, I had equated I appreciated Brooke's honesty in how she described her experiences. Some of her points felt a little over-stated and went on but the writing was interesting. Several key components of her experiences really resonated with me. The experiences were bang on with what I was feeling before and during my diagnosis and it was almost a relief to hear that I wasn't an abnormality.

First, when she had a hard time defining herself after her daugher was born because "up until now, I realized, I had equated my worth eith my successes in my career and at school. ...I had little opportunity to cultivate a sense of self separate from the one I held through my profession. ...Without my work to rely on, I felt unmoored" (page 100).

Second, while on a trip Brooke met a woman who had a terrible time after her daughter was born. Her point that the woman was articulate and talented yet still experienced terrible anxiety, alarming mood swings, and no appetite. The woman generally "felt as if she wasn't herself" (page 116).

Third, without her work, Brooke feels as though she no longer matters. In her colleagues eyes she was "no longer an actress; I was now just a mom. ...Needless to say, my senses of identity and self had been markedly unsettled" (page 130-131). In a recent discussion I realised I still referred to who I used to be (a consultant who worked on prestigious capital campaigns). I felt that the response I got when mentioning my former life versus being a mom and care-giver was much more respect than my current choice. Truth be told, this is the hardest and yet most rewarding job I've ever done. So why am I feeling the tugs of society disproving or disrespecting my choice to stay home and raise our family with our morals and values.

Fourth, I was relieved to read when Brooke's doctor explained "just because pospartum depression has happened with one child, it wouldn't necessarily occur after subsequent births" (page 137). I don't know if we are done having children but this was something that has been definately weighing on my mind.

Finally, Brooke and myself were both comforted "to know that those people who had experienced postpartum depression but who had reached out for help not only came through it, they did so with healthy bonded relationships with their children" (page 146). Another stress that manifests itself through the depression is hyper-sensitivity and self-doubt. I generally am a confident woman but with the panic and anxiety I had experienced before taking "the orange pill" or what I refer to as "my happy pill" I was unsure about even simple decisions such as what to feed my 2-year-old daughter for lunch! Things are much better now and I am enjoying my children and husband as I should.
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Nov 02, 2011 Michelle rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: 2011, memoir, celebrity-hollywood

Brooke Shields is a horrible writer. Maybe the blame lies on her ghost writer, if she had one, but the prose in this is almost unreadable. It is dorky and lame and clunky and very tell-not-show. For such an emotionally charged topic (post partum depression) this book was not emotional at all. I expected to be heartbroken on her behalf and it all felt very flat. It’s interesting that her husband wondered aloud, early in her pregnancy, if she might eventually suffer from PPD. This is an telling ti ...more

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Feb 02, 2012 Carrie rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: memoirs

This book was one of the worst I've read in quite a while. I read it because I was interested in learning more about postpartum depression, not necessarily because it was Brooke Shields, who I've never been particularly interested in. The writing in this book was horrid. I seriously think I could write a better book right now. The unfortunate thing about this book is that I really do think she has an important story to share, but the tone of the writing was so irritatingly whiny and dramatic, sh ...more

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Mar 25, 2012 Brianna rated it really liked it

I almost gave "Down Came the Rain" only three stars because, even after reading about her heartfelt struggle with PPD (postpartum depression), I still had trouble looking forward to hearing about anything she has ever had to go through. BUT... I ended up at four stars. The reason being? Despite her book having a whiny edge to it (as in "poor me, living such a hard life with multiple houses and a career that gives me the financial freedom to do pretty much whatever if good for me at this moment") ...more

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Jul 30, 2013 Lori Reed rated it it was amazing

Shelves: nonfiction, memoir, parenting, self-help, made-me-cry

For me, becoming a mother also means that I feel happier than I could imagine and more sad than I thought possible. None of this indicates that I am crazy or in any way abnormal. Basically I am just more alive and present in my own life than I ever remember being.

In her autobiography Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression, Brooke Shields describes the difficulties she and her husband had conceiving a child, the many failed in-vitro fertilization attempts, a horribly painful ...more

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Sep 25, 2007 Sarah Sammis rated it it was amazing

Shelves: pc, read-in-2006

While I've been luck to have not gone through all the trauma that Brooke Shields describes in Down Came the Rain our experiences do have similarities. I know the emotional and physical pain of suffering a miscarriage (I've had two). I know that detachment one can feel during a successful pregnancy: always expecting bad news to happen. I know the pain of recovery from a C-section. As I was under a general anesthetic at the time of my son's birth, her description of a C-section was very informativ ...more

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Apr 23, 2008 Lori rated it liked it

Recommends it for: new mothers

Recommended to Lori by: Chris McGinn

Shelves: self-help

This helped me realize that my experience after the birth of my daughter was nothing to be ashamed of. I see that some reviewers criticize the book as simply an account of motherhood, rather than depression, but I have to disagree. Sure, being tired, frustrated, exhausted, embarrassed, and deprived of sleep (have I mentioned "tired" yet?) is the universal maternal experience. But depression is much more complex than that.

And yes, I would have loved to be able to hire a baby nurse, as Brooke did ...more

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Oct 26, 2008 tee rated it liked it

Shelves: borrowed, mental-health, child-rearing

A little repetitive, not entirely gripping but I'm thankful for anyone that steps out of the dark and speaks out on mental illness. Postnatal depression is something that, incredibly, is still hushed up and not spoken about, which makes it even harder for women who are suffering from it as they feel that it is a wrong and taboo thing to be experiencing.

Reading Brooke's experience made me realise that what I experienced was quite 'run of the mill', although when I was experiencing it - I felt en ...more

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Dec 21, 2008 Amber rated it it was amazing

Recommends it for: All Women

This has got to be one of the most rawly honest books I have ever read. I applaud Brooke Shields for having the courage to bare her soul in order to tell her story and help others. Having struggled with PPD myself, I had to put the book down a few times because it felt as though she had written things from my thoughts. I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever struggled with PPD or who ever plans to have a child. Even if you don't believe you are at risk, it can still hit you. Even if ...more

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Oct 10, 2008 Christina rated it really liked it

Recommends it for: struggling mothers...

Shelves: 2008, biography, non-fiction, parenting, library

Brooke Shields tell it all in this very honest book about postpartum depression. She shares everything from her struggle with infertility to a very difficult birth and then the depression until finally, the rain goes away and the sun starts shining and she gets through to the other side and starts enjoying to be a mother.
Even though she repeats herself sometimes, and the writing isn't amazing, the book resonates with me, being a new mom and all. I'm not depressed but some of the feelings are sti ...more

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Sep 05, 2008 Hope rated it really liked it

Shelves: body-health-and-healing

As someone who suffered from an almost suicidal post-partum depression, which ultimately cost me my marriage, I have pretty much read everything available on the subject (which hasn't been much until recent years.) This is, in my opinion, one of the clearest, most informative, reassuring and helpful books available. I spent years trying to figure out "what happened" and why. Thanks to this book, I have laid this sad chapter of my life to rest. Shield's personal and comforting book is a great res ...more

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Oct 05, 2013 Marissa rated it it was amazing

Shelves: owned-books

This book helped me during a very dark time after my first daughter was born. I didn't recognize the signs of Post partum depression and then once I did I was too embarrassed to tell or ask anyone for help. This book helped me to realize that I wasn't alone in this and it was okay to talk about and reach out for help. PPD has been made to be such a taboo subject and I just don't think enough people talk about it. I highly recommend this book. ...more

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Apr 19, 2011 Lori rated it really liked it

While Brooke Shields is not the greatest writer she is honest with her feelings which is really the point of the book. It helped me to understand what I went through after the birth of our son, (on a much smaller scale). More importantly, it helped me to see what our daughter went through after her Rowan was born. I'm so sorry Sarah. I had no idea. ...more

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Jun 30, 2009 Caroline rated it really liked it

Great book. So raw and emotional. Brooke Shields has done a huge service to PPD and to all moms everywhere with her honesty about a very difficult and frightening time in her life. To share such intimate details of her physical and mental health is brave. She wins high marks in my books for sharing her story to help other moms.

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