Queen of Your Own Life: The Grown-Up Woman's Guide to Claiming Happiness and Getting the Life You Deserve

by Cindy Ratzlaff, Kathy Kinney

Discover the Seven Best Gifts You Can Give Yourself

Queen of Your Own Life is a philosophy, a decision and an invitation to happiness for women who have made the tough but rewarding journey to the midpoint in their lives. Kathy Kinney (best known as Mimi on The Drew Carey Show ) and Cindy Ratzlaff (marketing genius behind the launch of The South Beach Diet ) have been best friends for more than thirty years, and have helped each other navigate the ups and downs of their lives with humor and grace.

In this entertaining and inspiring book, they share the tried-and-true techniques they call "the seven best gifts a woman can give herself." They reveal how they learned to value themselves just the way they are—women in full bloom, sensual, vibrant, wise and more beautiful than ever—and they'll show you how you can, too.

With these seven gifts you'll discover how to:

• Claim your beauty and feel your power

• Clean your mental closet and find your queen voice

• Admire yourself for who you've become

• Build deep, fulfilling friendships with other women

• Establish firm boundaries that will strengthen all your relationships

• Learn the simple trick to finally being happy

• Place the crown firmly on your head

With humor, comfort and inspiration, Queen of Your Own Life offers easy step-by-step actions to blast away at the societal tall tale that young is beautiful and old is just old. If you've been feeling that the best part of your life may be behind you, then this book will prove to you just how untrue that is, and that the door to being happy is not only never closed, but just waiting for you to fling it open. Remember, you don't have to be twenty to have your whole life ahead of you. Now is the time to become Queen of Your Own Life!

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Personal Growth, Inspirational, Personal Development, Mental Health, Womens

192 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2010

Reviews

[Heather · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been reading a lot of heavy books lately, and while they are all wonderful, this book was an awesome change of pace. It was so much fun! Uplifting! Just something I think all of us women need (and need to do).

You’ll know Kathy Kinney from her role as Mimi on Drew Carey, and a variety of others. Her and Cindy Ratzlaff were friends who while on vacation decided they needed to queen up. (I totally had to throw that in. I love that phrase now!)

I’m 35 now. I’m kind of at the in-between stage of life. I can’t really call myself young (honestly, I still think of myself as young until a 17 year old cashier calls me ma’am. Where’s my mother? Oh you mean me!) but I don’t consider myself young. I catch myself wishing I was 23 again, back before 4 kids, when the body was a tad tighter, the wrinkles hadn’t started appearing yet, and Nice & Easy covered a strand of gray hair with ease.

Now at 35 with 4 kids, I catch myself analyzing my skin when I’m putting on make-up, cursing my hair color that won’t cover gray for more than a couple of weeks, and bemoaning the fact that I still haven’t gotten rid of the pooch from child number 2, 3, and 4. I obsess over creams, cleansers, foundations, primers, concealers. If someone could tell me why my make up now looks powdery on my face when it didn’t when I was younger and I slather myself in moisturizer all the time, I’d love to know. (Yes, I’ve tried different brands.)

This over analyzing, worrying, kicking our own selves when we’re down, that’s what Queen of Your Own Life is all about. Two women who decided they didn’t like the word crone to describe women as they aged. Men are distinguished and handsome with their salt and pepper hair as they get older, but what are we?

They came up with steps to take charge of their lives, go after the happiness they wanted, stopped beating themselves up, learned how to say no, and really came to know themselves a lot better. They did this in a way that was witty, light hearted, but also serious.

The easy part was reading the book. Now comes to the hard part. Taking those tips and applying it to myself. It sounds so easy, but when you’re confronting the person who probably tears you down the most (yourself) it’s never easy. The tips are so wonderful! I’m going to print out my declaration to type on my mirror after I decorate it, digiscrapper style, because that’s how I roll!

I’m excited to dive in and start doing these things because no one is a harsher critic of me then me. I need to stop and be my biggest supporter.

[Shae · Rating 4 out of 5]

Though this information may not be brand new, the way it was presented truly struck a chord with me! I found it refreshing and inspiring! If you have been curious about it, give it a read!

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Publicist Cindy Ratzlaff and actor Kathy Kinney (Mimi, from "The Drew Carey Show") have put together an entertaining little book that is more than just a self-help title. Drawing on their 30-year friendship, the two present advice on reclaiming one's life and wrap it in anecdotes from their own history to show how they reached their conclusions.

This book is aimed at women over the age of 40. Kinney and Ratzlaff maintain (and accurately so) that this is the age group that is invisible in our society today. Instead of lamenting the changes of body and spirit that aging bring to all of us, Kinney and Ratzlaff provide suggestions for celebration.

The book is peppered with inspiring aphorisms from the likes of Harriet Tubman, Eleanor Roosevelt, Anais Nin and other female authors.

This is a quick read, and quite entertaining. The advice for women "of a certain age" will help elevate the self-esteem of any reader. Highly recommended.

[Joemmama · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kathy Kinney and Cindy Ratzlaff have written a terrific guide for those of us that are grown up women! "Queen of Your Own Life" is not a diet book, not a self improvement book, but an accept who you are and enjoy book. It covers the seven gifts you should give yourself, from claiming your beauty, cleaning out your mental closet, to putting that crown on your head and having a party to celebrate you!

Sometimes, when life gets in our way, we forget to build our friendships, take care of ourselves, and to realize that no matter what our age, weight, income, that we all have value. Clever and fun to read, this book would make a great gift (instead of those black balloons) for any gal of a certain age.

I thoroughly enjoyed the book, and was happy to be reminded, that it's good to be Queen!

I received this book from Caitlin at FSB Associates for review. Thanks so much!

[Krista · Rating 4 out of 5]

This fairly short book lays out steps for women of a certain age (over 50) to reclaim their own "queenliness". While a lot of the concepts weren't new to me (be happy in your own skin, have a great group of girlfriends, attitude of gratitude, stop being a "people-pleaser") it provided an opportunity to review with my progress in those area.

I like the fact that they encourage women to celebrate becoming the "Queen of Your Own Life". It spurred me on to reach out to some girlfriends I hadn't talked to in awhile. I may not hold a crowning celebration as oultined in the book, but I do know that I'm blessed to be where I am in my life and see that I have worked through a lot of the hang-ups the authors too struggled with when they were younger.

[Dinamarie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely a fantastic book! Inspiring, uplifting, funny, informational. I am actually hosting an event for some of my girlfriends based on this book because I believe in it so much. If you have any women in your life that need to be reminded of how strong they are or are suffering from an lack of self esteem or just plain need something to believe in, this is the book. The authors expose the hard parts of their lives, revealing what every woman has gone through and helps you deal with it in a way that just makes you stronger. I have since ordered a copy of this book for each of my daughters so that they can be that many steps ahead in life.

[Holly (2 Kids and Tired) · Rating 4 out of 5]

A charming, thought-provoking book about life, friendship and learning to love and accept yourself. Kathy and Cindy are intelligent and entertaining and a lot of what they share isn't new information, it's just packaged in a delightful, engaging way. I think it would be a fun gift book and it would make an entertaining read for a book group, especially a group of older women!

Thanks to FSB Associates for the opportunity to review this book

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not fair for me to write a review because I co-wrote the book, but I just wanted to say that writing the book, with my best friend, Kathy Kinney, changed my life. Finding the writer within, feeling the need to tell a story and finding a publishing home, was an amazing experience.

I spent 20 years on the other side of the desk, as a publishing executive. I've always admired authors. Now, having written something myself, I think you're all saints!

[Cara · Rating 3 out of 5]

Silly book. I like the premise, and I enjoyed some of the stories. Overall, the book probably would have been valuable if I had done the exercises, but I found it kind of annoying and didn't do what it said. Also, I hadn't been thinking of 40 as old until these people introduced it as the beginning of the crone years. Thanks, ladies. :P

[Lori Helke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this little book!! It's full of great little tidbits of advise on living your life your way for those of us in the second half of our lives. Using humor and real life stories, the authors (who are also long time friends) give us the steps to become the queen of your own life. Now that I read it, I have to plan my crowning ceremony!!

[Bridget · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had no idea how much your thoughts can influence your life. Every woman is a queen and should be treated as such. This book would make the perfect gift for someone who doesn't seem to understand her own worth. It's an amazing book with a great message.

[Dana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book for all of my friends! it will give us a new perspective on life.

[Vbledsoe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this great, supportive and humorous book.

[Alysen · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's always good to have a reminder.

[Roxie · Rating 4 out of 5]

And why do you think this one jumped off the shelf into my hands?

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think that this is a good motivational book for the middle aged woman. In fact, I feel that it is one that I would like to keep and read often, so I ordered it from Amazon toay.

[Christy Nevarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I can't say enough good things about it. It was fantastic! I think it is a must-read for most women if not all women!!!

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, uplifting read! I will definitely be incorporating these tips into my life :)

[Alexis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Empowering and an easy (albeit necessary) read.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a celebrity memoir/self help book which I picked up as the self help selection for Book Riot's Read Harder 2015 challenge. Of all the self help books out there this one seemed like it was exactly where I am in life right now. Being a woman... approaching middle age...these are my people! One narrator; Kathy Kinney; who many know as Mimi from The Drew Carey Show tells how her life was made better by becoming the Queen of her own life, taking charge of her happiness and getting rid of what doesn't work. Along with Cindy Ratzlaff (who was one of the people who launched The South Beach Diet) they mix their own life experiences with tips that any woman can use to take charge of their lives too.
I really liked the mix of memoir and self help rather than just bullet points with explanation on how to achieve whatever the writer is trying to change in the reader. I don't think I would follow each step in their plan to become Queen because to tell the truth a lot of it seems too corny. I picked up lots of tips but am I going to turn a fan on my face and try to find my "Windy Mountain Moment", am I going to print out my coat of arms and decorate it with my words that I believe define me? No. I think this book is a great cheerleader for women who have not put themselves first or have poor self esteem.Memoirs alone can sometimes serve as a self help,listening to other people's problems sometimes helps in dealing with my own. Of course you can follow the directives in this book exactly, but I believe you can still take a lot away from it either way.
Fun Fact from this book: Kathy Kinney has an amazing number of friends named Cindy, Cynthia, or some other form of that name. Seriously I lost count and often got them mixed up.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fun, light read. Full of great quotes and incites. Sometimes you read or hear something that you know will stay with you for the rest of your life. This book has that for me. Here is the quote that jumped off the page and slapped me in the face... "Remember the old analogy of life being a tapestry? We believe that's true, but we think that most of the time we live at the back of the tapestry, where it's all messy, with knots and strings hanging everywhere, and we're just jumping around trying to avoid the sharp needle that keeps poking through. It's a rare moment when we get to step around to the front and take in the beauty of a life well lived. Taking the time to stop and look back at where you've come from is an important opportunity for personal insight."
Not the most well written book, but I had to give it 5 stars because it gave me a lift in a certain direction when I most needed it.

[Donna Milward · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. As in, I'm buying a few copies for future queens for Christmas and my copy isn't leaving the house.

This reads like a hug and a sit-down-cheer-up coffee with a friend. After two chapters, they made ME believing I was beautiful too. Not just "Yeah, we're all beautiful flowers" kind of thing. I actually believe them.

I'll admit, I had low expectations for this book. I figured some actress decided she could write a book with a ghostwriter and people would just snap it up. It's MUCH more than that.

Both ladies share genuine wisdom and personal experience, and they do so in a way that's funny, sweet, and sad. But make no mistake! They don't need your sympathy! They're pretty content with who they are and where they came from. Plus there's a certain amount of silliness I enjoyed.

I would give this a six star if I could. I'm recommending this book to every woman I know. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a crowning ceremony to plan.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors do an excellent job of relating to the struggles of all women, showing that we each suffer from so many of the same things no matter who we are or where we come from. Better yet, they show us how to reclaim our lives in spite of the circumstances of our lives. Everyone can learn something from this book, and come away much better for it. While this book is geared toward women in the second half of their lives, I think men and young women would also benefit from reading this and applying it to their own situations.

[Matriarchy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Short. A lot of the same self-esteem-plumping stuff as other women's self-help books. More of a collection of affirmations to be repeated to oneself as one suffers the insults of aging. Basically advises you to stop putting up with dumb sh*t and find a good group of supportive friends. Good advice for any age. If you sign up for the Facebook group, you can get the affirmations sent to your feed periodically.

[Kristena West · Rating 3 out of 5]

so far I am really enjoying the honest stories these two gals tell about not being "barbie' perfect growing up an d how, on reaching " a woman of a certain age" they decided to throw out the garbage of invisibility over 50, and change the way they think about themselves. Yes we have affirmations, but I tried it the last two days and am actually enjoying the one they give- only 1/3 into book.... stay tuned.

[Kristina Simon · Rating 4 out of 5]

A charming little book that teaches you (or reminds you, if you've already learned some of these lessons) to stay true to yourself, especially during and after you hit middle-age. My favorite parts of the book were the personal stories that Kathy (who played Mimi on The Drew Carey Show) and Cindy share throughout the book to illustrate their points. If you're looking for a little pick-me-up (or a great excuse to have a Crowning Party!) this could be what you're looking for.

[Mindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. It was a good and funny read. I definitely recommend it for anyone that needs a boost of self-love. You could definitely turn this into an activity for church or girls' night (weekend) out. I don't think that you need to be mid-life to read it either. I think that it would help anyone of any age that may be struggling with the everyday grind of life.

[Madelaine · Rating 2 out of 5]

ok book humorous, gives woman advice on how to make them feel better about themselves. If you are an emotionally stable person, it is basic knowledge that you should be good to yourself and don't let other people intimidate you or take advantage of you

[Addie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, it came from the heart of the two authors. It was straight forward and honest. It made me realize what I thought were shortcomings weren't but in the right direction just needing some twicking!! I'm glad I read it!

[Savannah Reynard · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this book. Many thanks to Cindy and Kathy for their honesty and sharing. I truly believe every woman has the capability to become the Queen of their own Life, this book helps foster those inner capabilities. Learn. Grow. Shine. This means YOU!