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My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!
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My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes!

3.93  ·  Rating details ·  30 ratings  ·  15 reviews
"Have you ever had one of those nights when you could swear in front of a court of law that you haven't had a wink of sleep, but the prosecutor would have a field day with details concerning your alarm clock going off after what seemed like only an hour and your lingering memories of mischievous lawn furniture?"

Forget everything you know about life, the world, and all the
Paperback, 135 pages
Published April 9th 2010 by Raw Dog Screaming Press
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Average rating 3.93  · 
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Dan Schwent
Some books are so easy that you can devour them in an evening after drinking four or five Pabst Blue Ribbons for dinner. This isn't one of them.

What do the following items have in common?
* Entries from the Encyclopedia Orangutannicus
* The Eiffel Tower wearing a feather boa
* A reference to King Kong Bundy, the rightful winner of the main event at Wrestlemania II
* A waitress dropping a tip jar, spilling such tips as "The clitoris is located between the labia and the top of the vulva"
* A Hollywood
Andersen Prunty
Mar 09, 2010 rated it really liked it
I blurbed this. I said: "Reading this collection is like ingesting a bag of fun-colored candy, removing your stomach, and then taking it to a party for use as a pinata. Displayed throughout is a true love of language and a generous dose of creativity."

Also, I really like the cover.
Sep 01, 2010 rated it liked it
Recommends it for: Those interested in mind melding literature
Shelves: bizarro
Holy crap, Bradley Sands! This book melded my mind like a Salvador Dali clock. I had to take this one slow because if I read it all at once I'd have been in the corner in the fetal position, twitching.

However, these volitile emotional responses that I conjured up after reading this book, are what makes Bradley Sands a master of his stories. I certainly appreciated the level of craftmanship that went into this collection. Plus, the art work on the cover just rocks!

So, readers if you're looking
Matthew Revert
Aug 18, 2010 rated it it was amazing
Bradley Sands is unlike most authors you’ve probably read. It’s not really suitable to label his work “Bizarro” or “Absurd”, even though it certainly is Bizarre and absurd. His work is more like a very carefully crafted patchwork quilt of sheer oddity and confusion. His stories are a leaning tower of mind-melting scenarios that bleed into each other, forming a thread by virtue of their placement. Saying this may give you the impression that Sands is a chaotic randomist, however, this isn’t true ...more
Douglas Hackle
Sep 24, 2012 rated it really liked it
Brain-wringing, Dada for the early 21st century?

Yeah, sure. But that doesn’t really tell you much. And I believe this collection of absurdist short stories defies any sort of “It’s like so-and-so on crack” descriptor so I won’t even bother.

On second thought, I will. Here goes.

Imagine if William S. Burroughs, Franz Kafka, and Larry David were fraternal triplets, and they engaged in a session of tripletcest that resulted in the miraculous birth of a precocious crack baby who decided to write an
Feb 17, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2010, own-it
At this time, I unfortunately have nothing new or creative to add in my every growing adoration Of Bradley Sands. We can blame the Paxil for that. It forbids me from drinking alcoholic beverages while reading.I write much better reviews while under the influence.

My copy is super special cause Bradley predicted how I would die. It is as follows: "Your cats will turn you into a human bomb and force you to walk into Dave's Pet Food and Soda City" Also for some odd reason, this book smells really
Feb 02, 2010 rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)
Five stars because I care.
Apr 19, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: literature
I 1st encountered Bradley Sands when we friended each other here on GoodReads. I had little or no impression of him. His picture seemed somewhat nondescript. Then I met him in Boulder when I was there to guest lecture & perform at Naropa University. I didn't get much of a chance to meet him there b/c I was so distracted but we did get a chance to talk a little & he seemed enthusiastic & friendly. I still had no idea of what his writing was like.

THEN he sent me this bk c/o my friend
Caleb Ross
A Bradley Sands story is not like any story you’ve read before. Though his work carries a noticeable Steve Aylett influence, Sands dismisses even the implied logic of his own creation, opting not to utilize his and Aylett’s stylistic contradictions for the sake of full narrative, instead insisting on delivering at the line-by-line level.

Sands, with is second book, a collection of stories called My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes, discounts reality in a way that renders it obsolete.
Feb 02, 2010 rated it really liked it
Sit back, be ready, think of things that glow and spit. In the right mood Mr Sands will lift you leaving your brain somewhere else to get molested.
R.A. Harris
Aug 28, 2012 rated it really liked it
I finally plucked up the courage to return to this demon-in-book-form after having to take a break for fear of going mad. I'm glad I did because reading this book is exactly like riding a rollercoaster. One that shoots you out at top speed and keeps such a relentless pace you can't even scream as adrenaline sears your brain and you can't tell if you're enjoying it or slowly dying from sensory overload, and where you don't even know if you're on a track anymore because you lose all sense of ...more
Jeremy Maddux
Nov 01, 2013 rated it it was amazing
I firmly believe this is Bradley Sands' magnum opus. You can see his eye for detail in every sentence. I could actually believe he spent hours crafting every single sentence to his liking, given that each sentence adds something dramatically different to either the plot, scenery or identity of the character.

This book exists somewhere between the pocket realms of hyperbole, prop comedy, satire and stream of consciousness. Everything is invented. McNugget Mansion, D.T. The Delirium Tremens, a
Jason Jordan
Feb 01, 2010 rated it liked it
"Known for his novel It Came from Below the Belt (Afterbirth Books, 2006) and his publication Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens, Bizarro author Bradley Sands is now offering My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes! (Raw Dog Screaming Press, 2010), a collection that is wholeheartedly rooted in Sands’s chosen aesthetic. Then again, perhaps Sands’s aesthetic chose him. In either case, cast aside predictability, because these stories are anything but commonplace...."

Read the full
J. A.
Feb 15, 2010 rated it liked it
What I think is most important about this collection of humorous bizarro tales, is that Bradley Sands understands how to write genre fiction (bizarro, new absurdist, splatterpunk, et cetera) while not forgetting that genre literature is still literature – these stories are not simple plot hacked open with violence but instead adjective stuffed phrases that twist in milked description. ...[ read the rest of this review in BigOther:]
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Bradley Sands is an author of bizarro fiction. He wrote Dodgeball High, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You, and other books.