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Diary of a Wimpy Vampire

(Wimpy Vampire #1)

by
3.62  ·  Rating details ·  2,217 ratings  ·  300 reviews
Adrian Mole meets Twilight in the hysterical diary of unlucky Nigel Mullet! Like Edward Cullen in Twilight, Nigel was transformed into a vampire as a teenager, and will remain this age forever. Unfortunately, Nigel became a vampire at the awkward age of fifteen, and must now spend eternity coping with acne, a breaking voice, and total ineptitude with girls… In his excrucia ...more
Paperback, 224 pages
Published May 20th 2010 (first published 2010)
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3.62  · 
Rating details
 ·  2,217 ratings  ·  300 reviews


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Sam
May 14, 2010 rated it really liked it
Won this through the Goodreads Giveaways.

This was a seriously entertaining and funny book and I demolished it in one evening, it was that good. Just think of all the suave and dashing vampires you can think of from the Count himself to the Cullens in all their mesmerising glory, then think of the complete opposite and you have Nigel Mullet. Nigel was turned into a vampire at 15 and as he approaches his 100 birthday his well matured teen angst goes into over-drive as he tries to deal with very em
...more
Alex
Jul 12, 2015 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I'm planning on making this short: it was funny and a different read. Over a lot of years I was recommended this due to my strong love for the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series (you're never too old to read children books, don't judge!). I was slightly annoyed by the writer who was constantly complaining about how hard it is to be him and how much he loved Chloe and how he wanted to profess his love for her. It was very childish and I was very frustrated. I mean, he's suppose to be something like a hu ...more
Stephanie (Stepping out of the Page)
A very simple book and a quick read. It managed to make me laugh out loud and I found some of the double entendre to be hilarious - a very fun book for the most part. Very easy to read and humorous.
Miss Ryoko
May 02, 2011 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who read or watched Twilight and weren't fans
Actual rating: 4.5

Okay... I LOVED this book!! I cannot help but think... no believe, that Tim Collins was totally making fun of Twilight with this book. And that is why I liked it! Nigel (our utterly lame vampire) is so brooding and depressive, I couldn't help but chuckle at Collins' obvious jab at Edward Cullen. Because of the blatant making fun of Edward, I was laughing and chuckling through most of this book.

Not only does the poking fun of Twilight make this book fantastic, but the writing i
...more
Jenny / Wondrous Reads
May 10, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: for-review, uk-author
Nigel Mullet is nothing like the beautiful, sparkly vampires we've all become so accustomed to. He doesn't dazzle anyone with one smouldering look, he's not a smooth talker and he certainly doesn't possess any cool vampire abilities. He's a normal 100-year-old vampire forever trapped in a 15-year-old's body, and he's bored. Very bored. That is, until he meets Chloe - love of his life and the object of his eternal affection. Then begins a quest to make her his girlfriend, which is both hilarious ...more
Sαღιnα
Mar 28, 2013 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: fun-quick-reads
One of the many sweet poems a sensitive vampire wrote for his beloved..
I WAIT IN ETERNAL PAIN
With your neck so long and blood so sweet
Life without you is incomplete
How I long to stick my fangs in your vein
Instead I wait in eternal pain..


A funny and brilliant satire on vampires, absolutely loved it! :D
Mizuki
3.5 stars.

The Story:
Nigel Mullet, a nearly 100 years old vampire who was stuck eternally in the body of a 15 years old school boy, was doomed to go to highschool repeatedly for the rest of eternity because he would never age. Lacking vampiric beauty and strength, Nigel always felt like an outsider even in his own vampiric family. One of his greatest miseries is that in the past 80 years, Nigel never managed to find himself a girlfriend. Will his misery end with the arrival of a new girl student,
...more
Nusrat Mahmood
Nov 13, 2016 rated it it was ok
Shelves: 2016, finished-series
Just imagine someone writing 'The Wimpy Kids Diary' with a bad drawing and a less sen sense of humor! that what this book is! I was thinking of buying this series the day before yesterday but glad saved up my money reading it in epub format! This vampire is not just wimpy enough!
Alex Greenwood
Jan 06, 2018 rated it liked it
The writing seemed like it was very much geared towards a child but there were quite a few innuendos about porn and a brief mention of self harm and insomnia so it’s quite hard to pick what age range this should be for. I knew going into this it would be a book that was so bad it was almost good and it truly was. It’s very easy to read so you can finish it in a day if you wanted.
Minna
Aug 06, 2011 rated it it was ok
Recommends it for: Teens who like vampires
Recommended to Minna by: Picked it up at random
Shelves: young-adult, vampires
Nigel Mullet is a sorry excuse for a vampire. He does not have any of the skills you're supposed to have as a vampire. He's not fast, strong or possesses any unearthly beauty, he is stuck in a fifteen-year-old boys body for the rest of his unmortal life. He's even too weak to hunt for blood so his parents have to get him his food. He is in love with a girl in his school and gets more and more frustrated that he can't confess his love to her and when other boys get closer to her than he does.

For
...more
Marga
Sep 08, 2012 rated it liked it
Recommended to Marga by: my subconscious
Originally posted at WorthlessWords

I read this book for 2 reasons. (1) Out of curiosity, I've never heard of a wimpy vampire before and I never thought it could be possible for a vampire to be wimpy (don't worry, the author explains why he's wimpy). And (2) because I couldn't read anything else, I just finished reading The Lover's Dictionary and I couldn't find a book to read so I randomly picked this. Believe it or not, I still play eenie-meenie with any thing that I can't decide on and I used
...more
Janine McCaw
Jun 20, 2012 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
A co-worker gave me this book to read because he knew I wrote a book that had a vampire in it. That's what happens. Vampires begat vampires and all that.
I could tell right away from the cover that this was a book for pre-teens, and though I thanked him for undoubtedly noting my youthful spirit, I looked at the book rather skeptically. Would people look at me weird if they saw me reading this on my commute? For sure.
And they did. But not because of the book cover, which I tried to keep discre
...more
OpenBookSociety.com
Apr 06, 2012 rated it really liked it
Beware of spoilers

This book was such a fun read. I love the quirky, snarky attitude and the doodles. I read this book in one sitting. The diary format allowed the book to flow, but you could dip in and out of it with ease.

Nigel is a typical teenage boy, who is bored, doesn’t fit in at school, thinks no-one will ever love him and is embarrassed by his parents. But, Nigel is different, his family are different. They are all vampires but not the sparkly fluffy ones we are accustomed to at present,
...more
Kris
Sep 07, 2010 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Imagine being stuck in the same awkward pubescent state for one hundred years. He should be having girls fawning over his supernatural good looks and incredible strength and speed. Instead he breaks out in acne when he steps into the sun, is wimpy and his looks… well… leave something to be desired. He has to suffer through humiliating PE classes and the only friends he has are Goths. His vampire parents turned him and his little sister because they wanted to settle down with a little family and ...more
Mrs. Reed
Nov 18, 2010 rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: kidbooks
This book was a lot of fun. I never read any of the vampire genre which it riffs on, so I'm sure I missed some of the allusions, but I found it creative and quite captivating. Shout out to Kristal for loaning it to me!
Tahsina Syeda
Nov 21, 2015 rated it liked it
Nigel is our usual 100-year-old vampire who looks like a teenager. But he does not have to worry about his skin sparkling, instead he has got acne and rash.
Filipa
Jul 06, 2014 rated it it was ok
It's a very light and easy reading, i mean i read this in half an hour, but its really amusing and funny so if you're looking for a break i recommend it.
Anna
Oct 23, 2018 rated it really liked it
This is the first book in the wimpy vampire series. I preferred the Wimpy Werewolf just a little more, but this book was also a brilliantly funny, quick read.

This book documents the life of Nigel Mullet through his own diary entries. He's just an average, everyday vampire, with boring school, embarrassing parents, and a crush. As he was turned at 15, he will stay that age forever, and to make things worse he's completely missed out on getting his supernatural vampire powers. Nigel chronicles his
...more
Natalie
Jul 22, 2017 rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: teen
Nigel is a pretty average English teenager...vampire. His "parents" turned him many years ago and existence is just not that great. He goes to school but doesn't fit in. At home he's the only one without vampire strength or speed. Then Chloe, a new student, appears and suddenly, life is worth living. She is his reason for being, not that she'd ever know. When she does realize he's around, the only reason she likes him is because he's a vampire. Family dynamics aside, Nigel is definitely learning ...more
books are love
Apr 05, 2018 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was imaginative and fun.

Nigel was a hoot. He was sweet and kind and so lost. His family was stuck in the past and his sister was kooky. I loved reading how he survives each day and finds out things. How he is insecure and has a crush and how he goes about gaining the courage to talk to her. How he isn’t your typical vampire and the struggles he has.

Just a fun entertaining book.
Katia M. Davis
Dec 18, 2018 rated it it was amazing
This book is hilarious. I was laughing every other page. In the style of the Adrian Mole diaries, you will be taken on a journey through the trials and tribulations of being a young vampire complete with pesky teenage problems. What to do when you see a pretty girl with a pulsing neck vein and your fangs start to protrude? Poor lad. Read this if you fancy a good quirky laugh.
Alecia
May 08, 2017 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Review from my 3rd grader: this book was great and funny and I liked how Tim Collins made paranormal stuff seem like it was fake in his book. The best part was when he discovered his powers of a vampire it was a cool book and very descriptive like when it said I tried bending the railing next to it, and it gave like tinfoil.
Stargazer
Feb 08, 2018 rated it liked it
Shelves: kids-under-12s
Drags a bit in some places but is quite entertaining. I am swithering about reading more in the series but would if i was stuck for something to read. (I am an adult and don't know anyone else who has read it so not sure what younger peeps think)
Patricia Faithfull
Sep 07, 2017 rated it really liked it
it's every kids' nightmare: eternal puberty! Loved Nigel and his flaws. His relationships with his vampire family and the human world are as authentic as possible (given that it's fiction!) Read it twice I was so entertained!
ashish gohiya
Mar 25, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Great book! I absolutely loved it !

This book is funny, interesting, engaging and amazing! I loved reading all about vampires and their lives! The storyline is very engaging and interesting. Love this book!!!
Joy Landers
Mar 26, 2019 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Hilariously funny, quick read
F.K.
Sep 13, 2018 rated it liked it
Amusing light read.
Catzmama
May 31, 2018 rated it it was amazing
12 yo me's fav
Christopher
Oct 16, 2018 rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I loved this book and I can't what to read the next
Phoenix
Dec 31, 2018 rated it it was amazing
I used to read this all the time when I was younger. It was one of my favorite books.
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“Today was so pointless that when I tried to write about it a moment ago, my pen ran out because it couldn't take the boredom.” 4 likes
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